How to Make It Our Own — Find Our Place in the World

Nicola Steffanina

By Cathy Eck

 

People often ask me, “If we want to do what you do, how can we make it our own?”  That’s tricky to answer because you can’t make what I do your own; that’s not how life works.

In the illusion, we think that becoming a practitioner or teacher of information/knowledge is the purpose of life.  But that’s a false-self purpose.  It never provides the freedom, joy, or harmony with others that we want.

 

UNIQUE POINT OF VIEW

Like so many other topics, we must blame level confusion.  Everyone’s purpose is to first find their True Self.  Then we have our own answers to everything we need or want to know.  We aren’t interested in other people’s knowledge anymore; we sure as hell don’t want to teach or practice it.  What I do is original for me; however, it becomes knowledge for anyone else because it isn’t their own.  We must first remember our own unique point of view by letting go of our false self.  Then ironically, we won’t want to make what someone else does “our own” anymore.

I mentor people who want to write.  I recommend they write whatever they’re thinking.  If it isn’t original, then they take a sentence/paragraph, let go of the beliefs around what they wrote, they rewrite, and let go again.  If they keep doing that over and over, they’ll eventually find their OWN voice.  When our writing, art, music, inventions, decorating, etc. come from our True Self, they’ll carry the stamp of our unique point of view.

 

MAKE IT OUR OWN — MENTAL LEVEL

Sometimes, people try to find their own expression by taking a little from this teacher and a little from that teacher.  That isn’t their own.  We aren’t compilations of other people’s minds; that’s a false self.  We can’t learn to be our True Self.

Often people ask about combining what I do with Reiki, therapy, religion, or something else.  That will never work — never — never.  Those are all belief systems.  If we completely let go, we’ll let those belief systems go too.  Letting go takes us in the opposite direction of almost everything else because we’re going for the cause; that can be confusing.

 

BRIDGE CAREER

Sometimes we need what I call bridge careers.  My blogging/mentoring is my bridge career for now.  It pushes me to keep letting go and pays the bills.

Let’s say you’re a hands-on healer.  You could continue your work while letting go of the disease labels that people bring you to heal.  Eventually, you’ll find that you want to mentor people because you don’t want them to think the hands-on stuff is doing the work.  Then one day, you might drop mentoring too.  Our careers naturally evolve as we let go.

 

MAKE IT OUR OWN — PHYSICAL LEVEL

At the mental level, to “make it our own” means to be our True Self.  Done!

At the physical level, our True Self uses our knowledge and talents.  What we do provides the channel for our unique True Self perspective to flow into the material world.  For example, there’s a San Diego physicist turned comedian who does humorous Powerpoint presentations.  He has a unique perspective of physics; the audience gets a hilarious class in physics.

My mentoring is almost never about the words or techniques that I use; it’s about reaching others where they are and finding a way to convince them that what they’re thinking is false so they’ll let go.  Another person could do the same techniques and speak my words and wouldn’t get results because they still believe the illusion is true.  It’s the True Self perspective that makes it work.

My oldest son (below) DOES hip-hop dance, choreography, and videography.  His True Self bleeds through his doing; he sees a world with everybody dancing so he has a free dance channel on YouTube so people of any age or any place can learn to dance.  Everybody wins.

My daughter (above) is a horse trainer; since she was a young child she’s rescued animals, but never with a victim mentality.  They come to her to find their true home.  Now she takes in horses that no one wants, rejuvenates them, finds and embellishes their gifts, then sells them for a profit to good homes.  Everybody wins.

Matt Steffanina

There’s no shortage of hip-hop dancers or horse trainers.  They do something quite ordinary in a unique way to fill a gap in the world that only they seem to see.  That gap created their desire; and following that desire got them into their perfect place in the world.

 

WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY?

The next question is usually,  “What about the money?”  I researched for fifteen years and blogged for over a year without making money from it.  I was inspired to do it.  I took what I call dumb jobs.  Then someone said, “Would you mentor me?”  I said, “Yes;” and mentoring was born.  Then another person said, “I’d like to give you a donation.”  So I learned how to add a PayPal button to my blog.  I do retreats when people ask for a way to meet others of like mind.  I listen to requests and questions; and I attempt to fill the requests in a win-win way.  My son’s and daughter’s businesses grew exactly the same way.  I call it organic growth.  You become yourself and express who you are; then you find the place where you’re wanted or needed.

Here’s where things get interesting.  I would write if no one read my writing.  It what I love to do.  My children would do what they do.  When we do things from our True Self, it’s life giving in the being and doing.   Belief systems, on the other hand, die without lots of believers and constant attention and support.  They need people to feed the dragon because the dragon is very hungry–that’s not win-win.  We’re switching an old paradigm; that’s not easy.  But, one day, people will only pay True Selves.  I promise it.

2 thoughts on “How to Make It Our Own — Find Our Place in the World

  1. Tia/Thia/Gidget says:

    If I may ask, what kind of “dumb jobs” did you do? I hope I find a bridge career soon. I’m currently working at McDonald’s. I knew I wasn’t going to find it very enjoyable but I ignored that and let everyone convince me to apply and give it a try. It’s so much to memorize I can’t even hear myself think the entire time because I’m too busy trying not to fuck up.

    It’s very fast paced which is nerve wracking when I’m still trying to learn all the buttons and whistles, but it did force
    me to be more vocal and ask for help. It brought up beliefs about me feeling like I inconvenience others when I ask for help. I’m constantly worried about being useless dead weight to the rest of the crew because I don’t catch on fast enough.

    It also brough up beliefs about being a screw up, being too slow, it even brought up a memory of my dad chastising me about how I never follow directions. Other crew members go to explain things to me and it’s like my eyes glaze over and my brain just goes “nope”.

    I recently applied to Family Video, a movie rental store, because I figured working somewhere I’m surrounded by something I love will make having a “dumb job” more enjoyable. I love movies so I figured my enthusiasm for the work will be genuine. But I feel like I’m running away from the other job just because it’s difficult for me. Like I’m leaving before I can triumph and improve.

    • Cathy says:

      I mostly did bookkeeping, which was a huge step down from my high profile career. It took little thought. I also did mystery shopping some as I got free meals.

      No matter what job you do, your issues will show up. When you clean those up, the jobs get easier. But I’d look for something that you enjoy. Video store sounds better. Love Cathy

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