By Cathy Eck
When someone holds their beliefs as absolutely true, they become a “fragile ego.” Fragile egos exist at all levels of society. We have to let them break to get free.
Fragile egos send a clear message: “If you obey me, I’ll reward you. If you disobey, I’ll punish.” They’re clones of the Old Testament false God (imaginary leader of the illusion) who believe they’re good people with the right to judge and punish.
Whoever disagrees with them is evil or bad. Their biggest fear is exposure. They lie and impose their beliefs on others in order to look powerful while hiding their belief that they’re weak.
The most dangerous fragile egos wear a nice mask causing them to look like a True Self. They say and do what the illusion considers good; they generally look happy and calm. They believe that what you do, not how you think, makes you good. Good, by their definition gets rewarded. That’s how the illusion works.
But the true world doesn’t work that way. Rules and projection don’t exist outside the illusion, we manifest what we believe.
Underneath the fragile ego’s mask is an emotional storm; their actions aren’t congruent with their thinking. They’re filled with rules and beliefs. When we disobey or say, “No,” to their demands, their emotions roar. They don’t see their OWN thinking as the cause of their emotions. They blame the feminine role because their Adam-and-Eve based mythology gave them the right to.
The fragile ego projects their responsibility and emotions outward. In fact, when we’re conditioned by fragile egos, we often become overly responsible. We take responsibility for their emotions because they claim we’re the cause. We aren’t.
In mentoring, I call the eruption of the fragile ego, “hitting the wall.” Letting go looks impossible. Strong religious, scientific, or political views look absolutely true. Arguing with the fragile ego does no good. The fragile ego repeats its knowledge, rules, and beliefs like a robot. It sees evidence that supports its thinking; it’s sure it’s right.
We only see evidence because we believe the cause. We hold a really strong belief, but it’s still false. If we let go of the causal belief, we’ll see different evidence. When we try to challenge fragile ego beliefs in ourselves or others, psychological reversals kick in. The thoughts clearly generate emotion, they’re not win-win, and they’re taking us away from freedom; but we can’t remember that the emotion means false. Until we routinely catch this in ourselves, we won’t catch it in others.
Our OWN fragile ego consists of voice recordings acquired from others who forced their beliefs into our mind. We did feel emotions when we first heard their words; but we were afraid to challenge them. Their words are NOW constantly squatting in our mind.
After letting go for awhile, we do come to know that the recordings are false. And yet, people tell me that the fragile ego is still running their life. They still behave as the fragile ego would want them to behave or say what the fragile ego would consider socially or politically correct. They still can’t be themselves.
Imagine yourself in the center of your mind; see the fragile egos who have limited your life with beliefs, rules, and knowledge in the periphery of a giant circle looking at you. They’re keeping you from leaving the circle.
Review old memories in your mind. Bring up fragile ego encounters from the past. Let the fragile ego characters slowly replay the scene. Discriminate and let go as they talk. Also let go of any judgments or reasoning that arises in your mind about these characters. Judgment on your part keeps you stuck to them. You might never see them again; but when you clean up their character in your own mind, you won’t meet that same sort of person again. Of if you do, you’ll stay powerful.
You can take this even further. We tend to think that we must change the real life fragile ego characters or get them to stop judging us. But many of them will never change or stop judging. Are you going to wait until they change to live your life? I hope not.
Step into their character within your own mind. Speak their beliefs, and feel their emotions arise when they speak something false or judgmental. Assume they can discriminate and let go, and do so. It’s your mind! These are your characters! You have the power to clean up their words in your mind. In this way, we change the past.
See if this fragile ego still has power over you. If so, ask yourself, “Why?” Let go of the reasons that your mind gives you. Clean up more memories.
You aren’t affecting the real life person in any way — good or bad. When your mind is clear, they won’t bother you. Their beliefs will only affect them.
Our false minds were meant to be creative containers, separate and distinct from others people’s minds, so we could all create independently. We’ve never had the right to impose our beliefs on others. We only do it because others did it to us.
When you realize that you don’t deserve their judgment, they don’t have power over you anymore. When you understand that their rules are false, they don’t apply to you. If they say that you’re hurting them, you don’t take it in. In fact, I’ll often say to fragile egos, “You’re telling me what I should believe; how can I be hurting you?”
Fragile egos can be difficult. But we can get through that wall if we take our rock hammer and chip away one belief or memory at a time. Eventually, we’ll break through their highly tinted glass. We’ll escape their influence without fighting them. When we clean our OWN mind, they lose their false power. They can’t harm us anymore.