Holy Shit… My Life is on Stage
Last weekend, I bought some cheap tickets to a play at the La Jolla Playhouse. I didn’t have a clue what the play was about.
It was called “The Who & The What.” Obviously, the title didn’t offer any clues. Turned out, the play was about a Muslim woman who was writing a novel about Mohammed as an ordinary seeker with a charismatic personality, rather than a prophet. Her Mohammed had doubts about Christianity, got some answers via automatic writing, and even wondered himself if his answers were true. He battled his own shortcomings; and like any seeker, he didn’t know truth from falsehood.
I suddenly felt as if I were watching my life on stage. She spent four years writing her book… it was nearly twenty years ago that I first opened a word document for a book that I’ve not published. Her family was horrified with what she was doing… been there too. She argued that she loved to write and this was what she cared about… so did I. Her family told her to use her writing ability on something else. So did mine. Quite frankly, the actress even looked like me with shorter hair. It was easy for me to over-identify with her character. It looked like pure synchronicity.
I couldn’t wait to find out what happened to her as if she held my future in her hands. I promise, I’ll tell you the ending later. But first let’s talk about synchronicity.
I was very much into synchronicity in my old life. I used divination tools to make choices. I even doused to find the well location for my previous country home. I often looked for signs and symbols to show me the way, and I was delighted when I saw those interesting number patterns. It happened frequently. But one day, the magic stopped; I couldn’t understand why.
It took awhile to realize that synchronicity had morphed into something new. For most people, synchronicity is about following outer signs and clues as if they’re looking for a lost treasure. That makes good movies, but it doesn’t lead us to freedom. It also generates excitement (which is an emotion); the illusion counts on us following our emotions. Following emotion pulls us right to false desires. False desires always come with hidden problems. In addition, we’re never satiated because our true desires go unfulfilled. We must give up the false to get the true; and hardly anyone is willing to do that.
I wanted freedom. I wanted to be my True Self. I now understood that the world was the reflection of my OWN mind. The True Self plus beliefs equals our reality. Therefore, if I corrected my mind on any subject, by letting go, results or validation showed up in my life, my body, or my world. After the internal change, came the external change. It made sense. It was exactly how life should be because it is inherently fair to everyone. True synchronicity is a validation system, not a guidance system.
I now knew how to live the way cause and effect was designed. To find the truth about anything, I’d let go; then I’d find the validation that proved I’d slain the false dragon.
After this discovery, I wasn’t interested in psychic readings, divination tools, or manifestation courses anymore. I didn’t need more beliefs. I had all the answers I needed inside of me. Sadly, I looked arrogant and wrong to others. How dare I to know my own answers? They had no way to “serve” me. Holy shit, I realized that all those people that appeared to be helping me actually thrived on fixing me.
Causes aren’t outside; they’re always inside our minds. So why in hell would we think that our answers are outside of us? Probably because we’re taught that God is outside — the false God is outside in the form of authority figures. As we move to freedom, we know we’re the creators of our life. We don’t listen to other people’s false advice — sometimes that pisses them off.
The Not-So-Happy Ending
In the play, the protagonist tried to ignore the hatred (disguised as caring) from her family, but she couldn’t; she didn’t know how to let go. She musters up enough willpower to find a publisher, but her book doesn’t sell. I was still watching my story. Most garden club blogs have more readers than I do today.
As the play ended, I felt angry because the main character listened to her family’s worthless advice. She decided that they knew best. She gave up. One should not expose Mohammed as normal.
I started walking home. As I let my thoughts go, I realized that woman was me when I started writing this blog. But she’s also me every time I expose a little more of the status quo as impotent and false. Fear always arises to tell me that the illusory dragon is just too fierce. It doesn’t get easier because I’m tackling different subjects. Each time, I must let go, write what I’m inspired to write, and then the validation comes. Writing isn’t my purpose; writing creates a reason to find courage and to test my ability to let go.
The growth of this freedom-loving community has been organic. I don’t market, so the people who read my blog and participate in my mentorship program are truly the cream of the crop. They’re here to receive validation for what they already know to be true. When we stop looking for synchronicity as guidance, we become synchronicity as validation for others on their way out. I’m grateful for the life that has unfolded as I’ve continued to write about what makes life worthwhile for me — initiation and freedom. I wish I could tell that Muslim woman what she’s missing. I wish I could help her let go so she could see that she was right.