By Cathy Eck
It’s hard to explain the power of the True Masculine role, mostly because there aren’t many good examples. The masculine role is the role that has fallen; and it took the feminine right along with it. Sadly, the fallen masculine leader tries to fix the feminine, its own reflection, instead of looking in and fixing the cause in its own mind. This keeps everyone stuck.
Know your Role
The first step to owning the True Masculine Role in your own mind and life is to always know your role in any situation. I’ve written plenty about that. Sometimes the role is obvious. But sometimes, it isn’t.
For example, in two people of equal status, the one speaking is the in masculine role; the listener is feminine. We also have tricky ways of getting into the masculine role. If we see the world as positive and negative, the most positive person will tend to have the masculine role or higher status. In a spiritual or religious group, the good person will take the lead. In the illusion, the one who’s right or wins takes the Grand Puba position. Conscious of this or not, we’re always looking to get that coveted masculine role.
If we can’t win fairly, we might trick the person into giving up their power; or the relationship might be one long power struggle. Nothing is off-limits in the illusion. It’s all about the drama.
The True Masculine is like the sun — unconditional, expressive, and giving. Giving is key; too many men want the masculine role so they can receive. That’s not how it works. In the True Masculine, there’s no hidden agendas — no masks. We don’t need a mask to give, to express our True Self. We only need a mask when we want someone to give to us who doesn’t want to. Then we’re weasels wearing the mask of a good person.
A religious leader is giving a sermon on obeying God. They’re a false leader. They’re looking at the congregation and saying, “You need fixing. You’re all disobedient.” But wait, he’s in the masculine role; if he’s seeing disobedience, guess where it is — in his OWN mind.
The husband looks at his wife and sees a bitch. The question he must ask is what beliefs is he holding about her. She’s the reflection; he’s got the cause in his mind. Or perhaps he’s not giving her unconditional love; he’s trying to get attention, sex, his way. In the illusion, the feminine role reflects what you give. You give shit; you get shit back. Deal with it.
The mother looks at her child and thinks he’s lazy. No, he’s not. She’s holding her hard work ethic as true when it’s just a belief. The child is showing her what she fears — who she would be if she didn’t put on her show as a hard worker.
The false masculine fixes the effect of their mental projection, and then sends the projection a bill or punishment. The reflection always has a WTF look on their face. I write this blog primarily for those in feminine roles with WTF looks. But they will escape one day; and then I hope they’ll use what they learned to become the True Masculine that they never knew. Revenge is never sweet.
Hints for Success in the Masculine Role
1) Shut the fuck UP! I mean that. Just let go of what you see in the other that you don’t like or is false. When we’re in the masculine role, we have the power. We also love to spew our knowledge all over the place. But the wisdom is in the feminine role. We don’t need to train the feminine to follow our rules or think like us, we just need to stop projecting on them.
2) FEEL! What you’re thinking about the person in the feminine role does generate emotion in YOU. You’ll feel it if you stop thinking — get out of your head.
3) WIN-WIN! Notice that if they accept your way of thinking, you’ll win or be right, but they’ll lose. When a True Masculine leads, everybody wins…and I mean everybody, everywhere.
4) Stop thinking about the other. Stop giving status reports or reasons. Stop prophesying what you believe the person will do next. Just watch your own mind, and let go of what’s false, which is probably everything. If you have to, lock yourself in a closet.
It’s a Dance…
When I was in my twenties, I went to New York City a lot for business. I always went dancing after work (and drinking). One night, Teddy, a really chubby, short guy with super thick glasses and the worst hair, came up and asked me to dance. Teddy asked a lot of girls to dance, but no one said, “Yes.” I wasn’t looking for a man; I was married. So I wasn’t sizing up his looks like the single girls. When I hit the floor, I had one of those American Idol moments when Simon Cowell would go “Holy Shit.” This guy was an amazing dancer. He was smooth and light. But he was also a very powerful leader. Under his lead, I didn’t need to think — I could just reflect. I seriously “had the time of my life.” For the first time, I realized the awesomeness of being cast in a pure feminine role with a True Masculine in the lead. Reflecting can be really fun.
Every time I went to New York, I’d go dancing with Teddy. Eventually, we both changed jobs and lost touch. But I’ll never forgot what it felt like to dance with someone who not only knew he could dance, but also knew that I could dance. That’s the best analogy that I’ve ever found for the True Masculine. S/he not only has self-confidence and self-trust, but they have confidence and trust in those who are feminine to them. They see everyone else as their reflection; and their reflection is perfect.