Desires … How Do You Know If They Are Real?

True SElf Desires

By Cathy Eck


False Desires

I used to have a fear of desires.  I often got something I thought I wanted or needed only to find that what I got wasn’t right for me.  I felt stuck with my manifestations.  That became exacerbated when I took a life detour into the positive thinking movement.  Later, I dropped that mind game when I realized that I was actually creating a very powerful, destructive belief.  Eventually, I would have to say positive affirmations before I took a breath.  I tried a few more techniques like gratitude and visualization before realizing that techniques look good in the short run, but they make a mess of your life and your mind in the long run.  I was cured.

But I was confused between true desires and false desires.  I decided not to desire anything for awhile.  Then my life drifted aimlessly down a path of boredom.  Having no desires wasn’t the answer either.  Looking back, I hit a place where I didn’t want false self desires anymore, and I didn’t yet have access to my True Self.

When I stepped on this quest for freedom, a vision mysteriously appeared in my mind.  It actually seemed too good to be true, and it felt unemotional and calm.  At that time, I was afraid it was a false self temptation.  I thought the lack of emotion meant it was bad.  I tried and tried to let it go.  We can’t let go of True Self desires.  Twenty years later, it’s still there; and I haven’t completely fulfilled it.  But it’s getting closer.

That desire was crucial on my journey to freedom.  It caused my beliefs to arise.  It caused me to take risks in letting go.  For the fun of it, I’ve since put some false self desires in my mind.  I let go of my beliefs regarding those desires, and they always disappear.

When we’re letting go to manifest, we don’t need to know if a desire is True or false.  I can’t say too often that the best thing about living life this way is that you CAN’T screw it up.  On the other hand, fulfulling desires with willpower, rituals, and forced action is the cause of every problem on this planet — every one.

We don’t need to analyze our desires if we’re letting go.  But here are some observations from my experience.

The fastest way to vet a desire is to ask ourself some questions like:  Why do I want the desire?  What does the fulfillment of this desire mean?  What does it mean if I don’t fulfill the desire?



If a desire is false, we’re often trying to get rid of our emotions.  It appears that the fulfilled desire will relieve them.  It doesn’t.  The emotions were caused by our beliefs, not the unfulfilled desires.  If we have emotions and desire money, it’s the belief that we don’t have enough money that generates the emotions.  This is why rich people have the disease of “never enough.”  They never get rid of the belief in lack.  They just keep fixing the effect.

Emotions are a red flag of false desires.  Our false self feeds off of emotions.  If it can label an emotion good, we’ll generate unlimited emotional food.

Positive emotions are a major illusion trap.  Emotions are a “warning signal” to tell us when our thinking is off.  They aren’t positive or negative; it’s the labels that make them so.   Emotions like hope, excitement, romance, even passion and conditional love are all signs that we’re chasing a false dream.  Our True Self is like still waters — it’s calm.


True Desires

The only way to know if a desire is true is to keep letting go until you get the desire or it disappears.  True desires match the characteristics of the True Self; we alone have the talent and wisdom to achieve them.

Usually our True Self desires seem too obvious.  People try to turn them into a mission or purpose.  The True Self just wants to enjoy life and create in its own unique way.  Take someone like Oprah.  Her True Self loves to ask questions, and she’s damn good at it.  But when she takes her True Self gift and tries to fix the world, she jumps around and screams a lot.  She becomes over the top with excitement.  That’s her false self hijacking her True Self.

True Self desires are win-win.  They’re harmless to others.  Being the Wolf of Wall Street can’t be a True Self desire.  Co-creating abundance with others in a  win-win manner could very well be a True Self desire.  Often people are expressing their True Self in their current work or hobbies, but they don’t know it.  This happened to me with my technology business.  I cleaned out every belief that was win-lose about that business.  Suddenly, my mundane company was unique, successful, and fun.  My True Self was happy but not for life.  It eventually got another desire.  It’s the false self that likes to put us in a box for life.

False selves will label our True Self things like selfish, arrogant, or a lazy.  They’ll say they aren’t serving humanity.  They’ll say we’re wasting time because we’re not in action.  The judgement of false selves can hurt a lot unless you realize the emotion you feel when they say what they say proves that their words aren’t true.   You let their words go, and they don’t trap you or hold you back.  The illusion is 180 degrees from the truth.  People in the illusion won’t understand you.  It’s normal.

True Self desires are often difficult to unveil.  But once we do, we’ve got the ticket that will take us all the way to freedom.  We just keep chipping away at every belief about the desire.  Eventually we’ll find that our True Self, freedom, the fulfillment of our desires, and Heaven on Earth are simply different ways of saying the exact same thing.

6 thoughts on “Desires … How Do You Know If They Are Real?

  1. Prajna says:

    So just out of curiosity. Can you say for certain that there is concrete distinction between Me(the true self) and other people(other selves), or even between chair and a table?

    • Cathy says:

      Hi Prajna, I understand what you are asking because I once tried to understand the world through an eastern point of view. Didn’t work any better than the western point of view. The eastern point of view is just as extreme on the feminine end of the spectrum of thought as the fundamentalist Christians are on the masculine end of the spectrum. The True Self is not the me that we see or the material world. It is immaterial and pure. The false self is what creates materiality. The false self isn’t bad until we judge or try to create oneness at that level. Our false selves were designed to be individual so we could create in the material world individually. We are not designed to share false selves unless we are consciously cocreating. We needed to hold different thoughts to manifest our individual creative ideas and desires in the material world. But the false self was also designed to be emptied out when we no longer needed our thoughts because our creation was complete. It was not designed to learn something for perpetuity — and all religions and all teachers think we should hold on to their words for life. This article explains this in more detail:

      What you must understand is that I’m not sharing a religious or spiritual system because we all have a True Self that is spiritual. I’m writing something very practical, something we all know deep inside and are looking for out in the world. It isn’t out there; it is within us and we never lost it. When we let go, we find that wisdom, and it could be described as spiritual; but I see it as creative and practical. We covered it up, and we find it by letting go. Yes there is a difference between a chair and table at the visual level; and it is not wrong to honor that. Our beautiful eyes see that difference; and it is what allows us to be creators. You can get all scientific and say the chair and person are all energy, and you’d be right. But what good does that do? It isn’t practical when you need to walk around the table.

      But the True Self is not a table or chair. It is ideas and thoughts, not yet materialized. And the joy of life is in expressing those ideas in the world. I share this only because it is fair to everyone. Religion is based on shared point of view, which causes us to feel alone with others who think different. On the other hand, letting go causes us to get to the real place where we are all one and individual creators in harmony with each other. No religion or spiritual tradition can allow one to see that because they are all within the illusion trying to correct the illusion. Letting go allows you to see it because you return to who you are, and you don’t disappear. You simply become all the things we are all trying to be and you realize you always were those things — kind, good, harmonious, compassionate, loving, creative, free, joyous, peaceful, quiet mind all the time without trying, healthy without trying, etc. That’s the true self. Then we slap beliefs on that amazing perfect part of us and seek forever to find what we never lost. I hope that answers your question. Cathy

  2. Prajna says:

    Sorry to disappoint you dear, but you haven’t found true self because there’s no true self. You’ve been caught in bullshit even if you close to finding the so cold “truth”.

    • Cathy says:

      I appreciate your comment Prajna but I must disagree. First of all calling me dear is a sign that you are being condescending, which is a false self characteristic, so I can’t really honor the rest of the comment. I never look down on others or act like I know it all. But what I do learn, I share. And I have been letting go on every subject I can think of for years. And you can call it what you want. But if you take any subject and you let go of all of your knowledge and your religion and your great win-lose ideas, you get to a place where you are unconditionally love, peaceful, and quiet without any techniques, practices or effort. You see suffering and pain disappear. I call that the True Self because it is a reasonable term for it and we are talking in words. But you can call it Mickey Mouse if you want. It is that place where we all harmonize and know who we are. But you can’t know it unless you’ve let go. Because if you have religion or beliefs, you don’t see it. That’s the disappointing bullshit. And I was deceived by that years ago. What I know for sure is that when we let go, we don’t disappear. There is something left; and that something is how I felt when I was very small. And I happen to call it the True Self as have other people who have seen it as well.

      • I am not sorry that this guy doesn’t see his own bull shit. He is giving you his beliefs which may or may not be what he really beliefs. I don;t know for sure. What I do know is that one really gets real with themselves one does find peace, love, or whatever. And is does not matter what you call it. But it is real. And you can not destroy it. EAST – WEST – bottom feeders. Get to the top and be a virgin again. Wisdom and truth are FREEDOM. It can be found if drop all your own BS and Superior Beliefs …………..

        • Cathy says:

          Thanks for your support Brian. I guess the best recommendation to someone who has an issue with desires is to never follow a desire again. They will fix their false belief or die in short order. The reason people don’t see it is they cheat. They say “Oh hunger is not a desire.” “Wearing my orange thing they wear is not a desire.” We are desire. We can’t help it. We can’t stop it. They think that eating is not a desire or begging for food is not a desire. If I lived in a place like India, I would definitely have to tell someone who came and begged for food or water to let go of their desire and to enjoy their suffering. After all, if you are going to perpetuate beliefs, you need to follow them and own the consequences. Same goes for westerners. I’ll follow your God when you can follow him to the absolute letter and still be alive to tell me about it. No one follows their religion to the letter; if they did, they’d see the BS.

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