By Cathy Eck
The Feminine Role
In the illusion, the masculine role is the authority or assertive role. Consequently, the masculine role is easy to drop. But no one wants to play the powerless, feminine role, so people hold on to masculine roles. When we need to be in control, we fear the feminine role. If we’re addicted to victimhood, we’re stuck and apathetic in the feminine role.
Life in the illusion has a way of pulling us into the feminine. Eventually, we retire from our expert or authority job. Our body gives out; we can no longer be the sports star. Our kids grow up. It looks like we’ve lost our mojo; it feels terrible unless we understand what’s occurring. Our feminine self needs healing.
Traditionally, the feminine role was the child, wife, slave, employee, or prisoner. These roles had no power in the illusion; good meant obedient. Then came a new kind of feminine role that appeared to be masculine but wasn’t. The soldier believes he has power over the enemy; but he’s just following orders. Conspiracy theorists notice when leaders in power aren’t being rational; they seem to be following orders of a hidden authority. If we’re obeying another person, we’re in a feminine role.
If you saw the movie “Jobs” about Steve Jobs, you saw him change when Apple became a public company. He became feminine to his board of directors. He had to obey orders even if it wasn’t good for the company. There’s nothing more horrific then submitting to a false leader. Yet, we do it all the time; we continue to perpetuate blind obedience and respect for authority because we think it’s true and an unavoidable part of life.
One would think that leaders would be more conscious of this. After all, we all start out in the feminine role as children. We all feel the sting of having to take orders from another who doesn’t lead from unconditional love. Sadly, when people get into the masculine role, they seem to think they’re always right. They follow the unspoken Golden Role, which is “I do to others what was done to me.”
We know we’re in a feminine role when we feel stuck in someone’s illusion. It can be as serious as being in a prison camp or as insignificant as listening to our friend whine. Either way, we feel stuck in a feminine role and can’t escape.
We must first recognize that our own beliefs got us in the role. Usually we feel the need to be obedient or nice.
When we let go of the beliefs that caused us to assume the feminine role, we begin to match our True Self’s perspective. Letting go of the false is what gets us to true. This appears to be impossible because we’ve submitted to the other person; and both of us believe that they’re in the masculine power role. But it is very possible.
We also submit willingly to false selves. We hire a trainer to get fit. The trainer is only giving us knowledge — their version of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. If we believe them, their beliefs will override our old beliefs about fitness. Seekers are looking for a better spiritual belief system. In sickness, we look for someone who believes in a cure. In the illusion, we spend our life trying to trade up beliefs causing us to form codependent relationships around beliefs. Letting go breaks these false ties to experts and authority figures. Our own True Self has the wisdom of life we seek; it has no problems to fix.
Stuck in the Feminine Role
The key to escaping a feminine role is to witness our emotions and discriminate continuously. Wallowing in our emotions keeps us stuck. We must let go of any belief that enters our mind or arises that has an emotional component. Here’s an example of what I teach people to do who feel stuck in the feminine by racism.
Racist: You’re lazy and good for nothing.
Feminine: Doesn’t speak. They go inward and feel the emotion inside of their body as they receive the words of the racist. They recognize that their own emotional navigator is saying, “Don’t believe them; what they say isn’t true.” So they let go of the words they hear because they aren’t true. Now those words don’t take hold in their body-mind. In fact, the emotional energy goes back to the racist.
Racists or bulles don’t fall over easy. It’s likely that they’ll receive their emotion back and try again. After all, they’re psychologically reversed. They think their false belief is true because it has emotion. Psychologically reversed leaders create very confused followers. So you have to stay in true and false discrimination until they go away. They will. True trumps authority; it pulls us outside of the illusion where false authorities can’t harm us.
The goal of most people in a masculine role is to eliminate their own emotions by projecting them on another. They don’t realize their emotions are related to their own stinking thinking. When people say that a role (like healer, preacher, performer, or teacher) is life giving, they’re usually projecting their beliefs on those in the feminine role, which gives their beliefs (false self) more power. A role or purpose is not life giving. Being our True Selves is life giving. True roles are for cocreation only.
Finally, we must look at our own beliefs to see what caused us to accept a false feminine role. Most beliefs came from ancestors. We’re taught to believe we must obey authority or respect elders. We’re taught that what happens to others can happen to us. We’re taught that if our beliefs generate emotion, they’re true. We stop discriminating. We believe what we’re told. Eventually, if we let all those beliefs go, no one can put us in an illusory feminine role again. We’re one step closer to freedom.