Rebellion and Denial aren’t Letting Go

Rebellion and Denial

By Cathy Eck

 

Are We Really Letting Go?

Taking action to fix a situation is fixing the effect of our beliefs, not letting go.  We’re often so used to fixing effects that we don’t even think to let go first.  Now that being said, we will probably continue to take actions to fix some effects for awhile.  Some problems have so much power that we have to gain proficiency in letting go and trusting our emotions before we don’t need to take any action at all.  Nevertheless, it’s important that we recognize if we’re fixing effects.  In this way, we can still let go after the fact and continue moving toward freedom.

For most of us, there are obvious problems that we know we must let go.  They’re in our face; and we can see that we need to let go of our beliefs around these issues.  Then there are problems or beliefs that we deny or rebel against.

We usually deny beliefs because we’ve become so proficient at fixing them with action or compensating beliefs that we forget we’re fixing effects.  We’re sure we no longer believe the things that we’re still fixing.  But if we stop fixing the effect for some reason, we’ll be reminded of that belief.  Let’s say we believe in evil, but we believe our religion will keep us safe from it.  Then we leave that religion, and we fear evil again.  In denial, we pretend a belief that we clearly hold as true doesn’t exist in our mind.  Denial facilitates projection.  When we deny beliefs, we see them in others but not in ourselves.  We often judge those who act out our beliefs.

In rebellion, it feels as if the belief is coming at us from others.  We have beliefs in our mind that say we must believe what some other person believes.  We can’t see that we hold the causal belief that allows this person into our mind.  Usually they’re an authority in our life.  We often think we can’t let go of their belief, so we do the opposite.

 

Rebellion

Many people think they are no longer rebelling when their opponent has stopped fighting.  The non-action appears to indicate resolution.  But we’re stuck on one side of the bottom of the triangle mentally with our opponent silently holding the opposite.  Justifying our position or saying we won can look a lot like freedom, but it isn’t.

Let’s say that our mother wants us to go to college.  We don’t go; in time, our mother doesn’t bring up the topic anymore.  It’s easy to think that we’ve resolved this issue.  But we haven’t.  College becomes the elephant in the room.  Our mother is always looking for a reason to point out what she perceives as our error.

Fortunately, if one lets go of the bottom of the triangle, the other must.  We dissolve the false self connection.  We must look at why we believe our mother’s beliefs or judgments of us.  If we see her beliefs or judgments as false, they will lose all power.  We’ll know without a doubt that our True Self guided us perfectly.

The best way that we can prove the rightness of our True Self is to let go of whatever others throw at us.  We must know that what they throw our way isn’t true for us.  People will do this until we can’t be rattled anymore.  Then they stop.  The elephant leaves the room.

 

Denial

Denial is a coping mechanism of our false self.  We’re living in a situation that we hate, but we tell ourselves it’s the way life is or we need to accept what is.  We need this job.  We’ll be lonely if we leave the marriage.  We might say we’re good for putting up with something that isn’t acceptable to us.  We might believe we don’t deserve more.  Often denial is masked in words of forgiveness or in trying to sound nice.  Denial is often a sign that we’ve become good at losing.

I was taught that being a good loser was virtuous.  I was told to considered losing part of life…you win some and you lose some.  But then I realized that win-lose wasn’t normal or true.  I had to let go of all my goodisms that made other people’s winning at my expense right — sayings like “accept what is” or “they did the best that they could” weren’t true.  We weren’t designed to accept intolerable situations, judgment from others, or living in small boxes.  We aren’t doing the best we can if we are living from beliefs.

The key to my relief was in recognizing that my True Self sorted the world based on true and false.  I wasn’t making someone bad or wrong by not believing them.  I was just choosing my own freedom; they could choose what they wanted for themselves.  Realizing that beliefs are false regardless of who imposes them on us is what frees us.

 

Ultimately, our life belongs to us.  It’s our journey, and we were meant to live from our True Self.  When we rebel against a belief that another possesses and tries to impose on us, or we deny that we have a belief, we remain stuck in the illusion and chained to others.  We stay stuck where we don’t belong.  We make actions right that have been fueled by false thinking.  We fight with others when there is really nothing to fight about.

As we get rid of rebellion and denial, we become more comfortable living our life.  We aren’t bothered by other people’s beliefs because we know that one can only harm themselves with their beliefs.  They can no longer project into our life and body.  Their beliefs do not impact us even if they think they should.  This is where real power begins to erupt within us.  We start to truly live as creators of our own life.

 

Why are Human’s So Gullible?

By Cathy Eck

What follows is a clip from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.  Trevor Moore, a comedian, made up fake and useless inventions.  Watch the innocent people who are asked to test his products.  Would you have fallen for his trick?

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Marketing, Politics, Religion…Lies, Lies, Lies

Every day we are bombarded by marketing.  We buy things that we don’t really want.  We hope that the claims that the advertisers make are true.

We listen to politicians and hope they are telling the truth.  But do they ever tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Recent studies claim that people don’t just lie daily, they lie hourly.  People lie about everything.  People no longer feel guilty or shameful when they lie; they only feel bad when they get caught.  Some people even feel bad when they don’t lie.

 

White Lies are Still Lies

This is a subject near and dear to me.  Growing up, I was unable to tell a lie of any color; then I married a man who was normal in the lying department.  I remember hoping that he would teach me how to communicate.  He did; over time, he convinced me that lying was socially correct.

In his eyes, I was rude and uncaring.  He saw lies as charm and kindness.  He told people what they wanted to hear even if it was complete crap. You might recognize him as a people pleaser.  People pleasers are damn good liars.  I went along with his beliefs for many years, but then I realized that I didn’t like myself anymore.

My relationships had become superficial, including my relationship with him.   When I didn’t tell the truth, I couldn’t tell if others told me the truth.  I accepted compliments that I knew were white lies.  Trying to figure out what others wanted to hear was too much work for me.

One day, I decided that I was returning to complete honesty even if it had a price.  I revamped my business around telling the truth, and my business thrived because it was my business.  But the rest of my life didn’t thrive.  I felt as if I had broken some sort of nonverbal agreement that said, “I won’t expose your lies if you don’t expose mine.”  But that isn’t relationship, at least not in my world.

 

Why Do We Lie?

I didn’t belong in that world, and I left it.  I don’t miss it at all.  Exiting from that world required me to face the reasons that I’d accepted lying as right, spiritual, or nice.  Here are a few:

1)  The truth hurts; people don’t want to hear the truth

2)  People don’t want your opinion; they want support for their opinions

3)  If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all

4)  Everybody lies

5)  Life is competitive — winner takes all

6)  You get punished if you tell the truth

7)  I hurt people if I tell them the truth

Lying has a price that people deny.  My husband believed that God wanted him to be nice, and truthful wasn’t nice.  Since everyone in his life was such a hot mess, then lying was being nice, I guess.  But lying perpetuates their mess.  Agreeing that someone is incurable doesn’t help them find a cure.  Lying keeps people stuck.

 

The Truth Does Set Us FREE

God wants us to live from truth and unconditional love.  When we lie to another or to ourself, we cut ourselves off from God.  Then we have to get from others what we would normally get from God.  We are people pleasers because we need people to like us — we are lonely because we are cut off from God.  It  is a giant circular mess.

 

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Beliefs Are an Acceptable  Form of Lying

My biggest challenge since I reverted to telling the truth is that most people don’t believe me.  The truth often sounds stranger than fiction.  The truth feels odd when we are used to hearing beliefs, which are half-truths, and lies.

On some level, people want to be lied to.  Our false self doesn’t like when our beliefs are challenged.  We were programmed to be that way.  People would rather believe for a moment that their face will lose the wrinkles from an air machine or their junk will stay in place than face the facts and fix the true cause, which is always a belief.  People are suckers for beliefs that feel good in the moment because they hope that the new seemingly positive belief will counteract all the negative ones.

You can’t cure a belief with another belief.  At best, you get some temporary relief.  If these innocent people in the video knew they were beautiful or had junk that stayed in place, they wouldn’t even be pulled into the salesman’s world.  We don’t need hope when we live from the truth.

 

Letting Go Brings Us Back to Our True Self

The biggest lies we were ever sold are: we can’t let go of beliefs, we must believe authority, and we can’t tell the truth from a lie.  Those beliefs cause us to be gullible.

When we let go of the lies in our own mind, we see the lies clearly in others.  We don’t fall for other people’s beliefs, and sometimes they don’t like that.  Like this video, their thoughts, beliefs, and even their lies become funny to us.  We feel comfortable exposing them, and sometimes they even laugh along with us.  Sometimes they find someone else to lie to.  Either way, we don’t end up as the proud owner of  a Junk Jumbler.

 

While we are on the subject of lying, “Here are my Top Ten Biggest Lies Ever Told.