No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part IV)

We aren't victims

By Cathy Eck

 

Here are a few more tips on escaping the role of victim forever.  You might want to read Part I, Part II, and Part III first.

No one is a victim of another — that’s the illusion.  We’re all victims of the illusion, until we escape.  

Remember that any benefits you get from living a victim role are so small compared to what you’ll receive from freedom.  The escape isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it.

 

Judgment Vs. Discrimination

A victim confuses judgment and discrimination.  (I’ve written about that here).  We must get to the place where our feminine side doesn’t believe others that judge us because their words feel bad — so they aren’t true.  We also have to get to the place where we stop judging others (masculine side).  We must realize that if we have an untrue belief about another, we’re generating emotions in our body and feeding our false self.

Even Hitler had a pure True Self; unconditional love means that we let go of what we see in him so we can remember who he really is.  What you then realize is that when you only see unconditional love in another, they can’t hurt you.  But you can’t fake it until you make it.  You must get to the place of unconditional love by honest letting go, not mental gymnastics.

 

Sympathy

The victim has been trained to be sympathetic rather than compassionate (more here).  Sympathy causes us to take on the unwanted beliefs of others when we choose to entrain with their emotions.  The victim is emotional because they hold beliefs in mind instead of truth.  When we entrain with their emotions, we get their beliefs in our mind as a bonus.  We’re told sympathy is good by the illusion because it perpetuates our false selves.  Once we’ve sympathized with others, and destroyed our life, we expect others to join us in misery.  But someone has to say “NO MORE.”  We have to move to compassion.

Compassion has the balls to say, “Let go. The Emperor is naked.”  Compassion tells the truth fearlessly.  Compassion helps everyone.  Sympathy helps NO ONE.

 

A Victim Looks for Reasons, Not Causes

If I had a dime for every time I heard reasons why someone was a victim… oh Lordy I’d be a rich woman. Victims have minds that make up reasons, and they believe their own ridiculous reasons.  This is how we get pissed off fairies, evil aliens, judgmental Gods, Satan, curses, rituals to fix the curses, evil illuminati, and much more.  The victim is never the cause.  The reason is always someone or something else.  The reasoning enables them to project their emotional pain outside of them, and projection keeps people very stuck.  Most people are victims of their own projections.  If we look inward and find the real cause, the projected evil reasons disappear.

Victims often ask questions like, “Why did this happen to me?”  Their mind answers and gives them utter bullshit, and that utter bullshit has strong emotions attached to it.  They’ve already been psychologically reversed to believe that something that feels bad is true, so they believe their own lying mind.  They even think it’s God talking or some spirit guide or dead avatar.  The mind is like a tape recorder.  It simply repeats what was recorded earlier in their mind, in other’s minds, or the collective mind.

The True Self’s advice is always perfect for us.  We get to the True Self advice by letting go of the false advice until we get the perfect answer that feels calm, clear, and right.  It’s win-win for everyone.

 

The Victim Thinks Success Is Ego

When people are successful at something, it’s because they don’t have an ego, not because they do.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  Often they succeed with their True Self, and then the false self takes the credit in time.  But ego or false self is what keeps us from fulfilling or dropping our desires.  Thus religion and new age are filled with EGO while telling us they’re getting rid of it.  You can’t fix the false self, you can only let it go.  Most teachers today are either projecting their false self on their followers or floating above it.  They are clone minds, not True Selves.

When we’ve been judged for our success, we often start to resist the fulfillment of desires.  I made this mistake for years.  Not achieving desires felt better than the judgment I got for succeeding from my religious family and friends.  We must learn that what someone says in judgment feels bad because it’s false.  I eventually realized (after much letting go work) that they were just showing me their false self.

The entire Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is the Ego or false self — not just the evil part.  THIS IS KEY! Knowledge is getting truth or lies from the outside instead of from within us.  We learn good and evil from other people (authorities).  When we listen to anyone who says something that doesn’t harmonize with our True Self, we’re stuck in false self, eating from the wrong fucking tree.

 

Meekness

“The meek shall inherit the earth” doesn’t mean the poor will get God’s blessing.  I was terrified of this belief when I was stuck in the illusion.  Now it’s very clear.  It means when you let go of the competitive, fighting, win-lose, good-evil false self, you don’t have to fight with anyone anymore.  You get the whole earth without removing your ass from your chair — unless inspired to do so. 

So being a victim doesn’t make you meek and heaven bound.  It makes you false self bound in hell.  It makes you a pawn of the illusion, not God’s beloved child.  When you see that, you won’t want to be a victim anymore.  And when you no longer want your inner victim, you kick its royal ass out of your mind forever.

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part III)

victim, perpetrator, hero in prison

By Cathy Eck

 

This post is a continuation of Part I and Part II.

 

The False Mind Can’t See the True Perpetrator

The master isn’t the slave’s enemy — although it looks that way within the illusion.  Religion and cultural beliefs are our real enemies because those beliefs pull us into the illusion, usually when we’re too young to discriminate.  Once we’re enslaved, there are no exits because the illusion isn’t a place; it’s a perspective.  We can’t exit the illusion with physical action.  Physical actions only change the illusion.  

When were enslaved, we’re trained to focus on action.  If we can’t think of an appropriate action, we see ourselves as victims of situations we believe are beyond control.  But there’s NO victim that can’t go mentally within, see the causal belief, and let it go — if only they knew how.  That’s the action that’s needed.  This information was hidden from the masses.  If it became popular, the illusion would die very quickly;  everyone would be free.

Slavery or bondage of any form is a mental trap that causes the physical trap.  If our mind has been brainwashed to follow false leaders (authority figures), we’ll feel compelled to follow them all.  If we’re taught that life is suffering, we won’t try to escape.  Why bother?  Better the suffering we know than the suffering we don’t.  If we think that our problems are karmic, we’ll accept them blindly.  Fear of God’s judgment is huge.  I found the belief in my false mind that if I obeyed others, I’d look innocent to the judging God.  If I obeyed my True Self, and I was wrong, I wouldn’t have anyone to blame.  WTF?  Blame is another trap.

Belief in cursing (Voodoo) was probably a major belief that enslaved African people.  The Puritan ethic (hard work as virtuous) keeps people stuck in dead end jobs working for billionaires.  Hitler and the Jews both BELIEVED they were chosen.  It’s not that simple of course.  But there’s always a strong common belief between the good and the evil.

 

The Mechanics

When I was in college, about ten big high school football players came into my dorm room one Saturday night when everyone else was out partying.  They shut the door and told me it was time for gang rape.  I stood up, sat their asses on my bed like a school teacher, and proceeded to lecture them.  Looking back, I stepped into the masculine role; and I won the war when I calmly said something like, “You’re gonna make your mamas cry.  Your mamas will be so ashamed of you boys when they put you in jail.”  It worked.  They got up and walked out.  

You see, I took away what they wanted.  They didn’t want sex; they wanted to remove their emotions (their inner feminine) that reminded them of their belief that they were powerless.  We hate our emotions if we fear they’ll never go away.  They would if we used them properly.

Those boys were trying to project their powerlessness on to me.  I didn’t accept their projection.  I gave it right back to them.  Without my acceptance of their projection; they went back to being powerless victims of whoever had victimized them.  I wasn’t the cause of their problem; and I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the effect of it.  And yet, I didn’t understand what really happened at that time.  After years of letting go of beliefs, I again remembered the experience, and it was now obvious why it worked.

 

The Excitement Trap

Perpetrator and victim both tend to follow their emotions, especially excitement, hope, romance.  They imagine false desires that will eliminate their emotions, pain, and suffering.  We label excitement a good emotion, but there’s no such thing.  Emotion always means that what we’re thinking right now is false — it’s not right for us — it’s not true.  It’s probably not even our own thought.   Victim and perpetrator both tend to follow excitement into addictions of sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, or food.  Often they are drawn to traditions, memorializing, and ceremony to keep their victimhood alive and kicking.

Since I didn’t yet feel responsible for other people’s emotions, the boys couldn’t project that on me.  In time, however, I’d lose my clarity thanks to the New Age movement, a husband who was a people pleaser and took pride in being responsible for making others happy, and a few zingers from my false mind that I didn’t see coming.

Ancient occult teachings said that emotion has attracting power.  That’s correct in the illusion.  Emotions are magnetic.  Sex, drugs, rituals, and even song and dance created an emotional high attracting whatever the occultists wanted, much like charismatic religions today.  But this is improper use of emotion.  The occult message was reborn with psychics, inspired speakers and preachers, and channels of the New Age; people believe these channels just like people believed the prophets in the Old Testament.  It seems that they want to share the truth, but don’t feel anyone will listen to them or fear punishment.  They declare a special purpose or calling.  They do speak mostly the truth, but when we hear the truth from another who’s fearful of being their True Self, it’s worthless knowledge.  Someone who fears being themselves, can’t help us be ourselves.

The illusion is like a battery; it needs recharging.  Old tricks are reused; and we falsely believe that history repeats itself.  In order to confuse us, this occult world was also often labeled initiation.  It produced powerful people who win in the illusion, but aren’t free of it.

True Initiation was a long process of bringing back the initiate’s discrimination by pushing them to let go of any thought that had “good” or “bad” emotional magnetism.  In time, the person had eyes to see and ears to hear.  They healed the curse of religion and were no longer a slave or victim.  They were called free, saved, or born again.

 

 

 

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part II)

Predators and prey

By Cathy Eck

 

For part I, click here.

 

Getting Unstuck

Unraveling victimhood requires understanding how we got stuck in it in the first place.  The intricacies of the illusion need to be exposed; but until recently, exposing the illusion meant a short life or lots of torture.  I faced those fears every day in the early stages of writing this blog.

The illusion lives on because we can’t see the cause of the problems in our lives.  We’re all victims of magical slight of mind.  We’re told to look outward to people who aren’t the true cause instead of inward to our beliefs because the illusion needs believers.  Remember the word belief contains the word “LIE” within it.

When we fix effects instead of the cause of anything, the problems keeps repeating.  A perpetrator shows up in our life as the effect of our own causal beliefs.  But I know, it doesn’t look that way when we’re in it.  The cause is never outside.  In addition, nothing is incurable; but we must find the causal belief.

Victim, perpetrator, and rescuer are all different forms of masculine and feminine roles playing off of each other.  In truth, there are no roles.  They’re all illusory.  We’re also trained to see the feminine role as powerless.  That training is very difficult to break.  Victim is generally a feminine role; however, some victims are actually perpetrators in disguise.  As people have become smarter, they’ve become better players of the illusion game.

When we’re free of beliefs, no one can trigger us — we remain calm and peaceful all the time.  If I say to you, “You’re an elephant.”  You’ll laugh.  You know you aren’t an elephant.  If I say, “You’re stupid.”  You might believe me.  Your mind will search for times you were stupid.  I’ve triggered your belief that you can be stupid.  If you let that belief go, you’ll not be bothered by my comment.  You’ll laugh because you know it’s false.  This is key; I’m only a perpetrator if you believe what I say.  Otherwise, I’m a comedian.

 

Enlightenment Defined

The difference between tragedy and drama is drama has less beliefs.  The difference between drama and comedy is comedy has less beliefs.  As we let go, we laugh more.  We become lighter; we enlighten.  When we have NO beliefs, we can’t be tricked or triggered by others.  We stay light.

We’re often shocked at the beliefs that arise in our mind as we witness our emotions.  We never consciously accepted most of these beliefs.  We suddenly realize how heavy our thinking is.

I often hear,  “I wasn’t raised in religion; yet I’m finding religious beliefs in my mind. How did they get in there?”  I was shocked by this too.  As I let go, I become aware of the person who gave me the belief.  The mystery does start to unravel.  Letting go causes us to break false-self connections with people who gave us beliefs.   Consequently, people fear they’ll lose someone if they let go of their shared beliefs.  Often they feel strong resistance from the other as they try to let go.  If we keep letting go, we’ll eventually have only a True Self connection with people — just unconditional love.

We got beliefs by being born to people who had them even if they didn’t talk about them.  Kids are telepathic until at least seven years of age.  We’ve sympathized with religious friends and family.  When we believe another’s problem, we also believe the causal belief that they can’t see.  We fear religious people who impose their beliefs on us.  If we fear something, we believe it.  Or we’ve had a teacher of truth or followed inspirational speakers who float above their beliefs.  Remember, if we’re going to someone for the truth, we believe we don’t have it.  So we make a great projection screen for someone who believes they have the truth, when they don’t.

 

Shared Beliefs

We all have perpetrator-victim within us until we let both roles go.  The master and the slave both believe in slavery.  The slave has an inner master and the master an inner slave.  The criminal and policemen both believe in crime.  Neither can play their role without the other.  They’re like conjoined twins.  They’re both victims of the illusion playing false roles.  That’s why criminals often plead temporary insanity.  They don’t know how they got into the role; but once they did, they played the it like they were going for an OSCAR.

Because of the way we hold masculine and feminine roles in mind, it appears that the slave is stuck in the master’s illusion.  We forget that the master needs the slaves or his desire is thwarted.  The policeman needs criminals.  Doctors need patients.

This is difficult to understand because of our perceptual training.  We’re taught to see doctors as good; they’re serving.  (See comic book truth for more.)  If we drop all belief in disease, we don’t need doctors.  They move from rescuer to perpetrator.

Soldier is a completely illusory feminine role (obedience and sacrifice), yet people sign up to kill because it’s reframed as service and heroism.  Our desire to be seen as good or worthy gets us in victim roles.  The trick wouldn’t work if we let go of the beliefs that say we aren’t good or worthy.

We must ask ourselves, “Why do I feel compelled to play this role?”  The answers we get will all be false; they’re our causal beliefs.  Another good question is, “What is the perpetrator thinking about me?”  Again, whatever answers arise are beliefs, let them go.  You can’t let go of the truth, and our mind is 99.99% bullshit.  So always err on the side of letting go.

Once we strengthen our True Self (our true savior) and weaken our own false self (which has both victim, rescuer, and perpetrator), we can no longer be cast into these illusory roles — we can’t be a victim anymore.

To be continued…

 

 

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part I)

Fish in a Bowl -- victim

By Cathy Eck

 

The hardest thing for people to let go is victimhood.  Victims appear stuck in feminine roles.  Victims always look outward for perpetrators instead of inward to the real cause.  When I convince a victim to let go of the cause within their own mind, their outer perpetrator loses power.  The perpetrator had power because they believed the perpetrator’s beliefs.

 

Reality

We all begin life in a feminine role.  We lack authority and power.  A baby requires someone in a masculine role to care for them.  Consequently, we all associate the feminine role with the powerlessness of childhood.  Our bodies mature, but our minds revert to childhood whenever we’re cast into feminine roles.  We believe we’re powerless — unable to get what we need or want.  We blame the person we think should fulfill our desire, instead of the person who gave us our beliefs.  The illusion survives by making sure victims don’t find or blame the true cause of their victimhood.  In fact, the victim usually  thinks their perpetrator is good or God.

Victims accept false feminine roles in order to look good by flawed standards.   The president declares war on his own enemies and enjoys drinking Dom Perignon while martyrs fight his battles because they believe sacrifice is good.  Billionaires can hire underpaid slaves to do their work because slaves believe hard work is virtuous.  Clergy pass the donation basket and minions drop their last dollar for words that aren’t worth two cents because they believe the Bible is the word of God.  Victims keep illusory machines running; they’re like moths to a flame.  They’re taught that good people sacrifice, work hard, and give when they have nothing to give.  They’re so blindly obedient that they can’t see the flame that’s burning them alive.

 

Win-Lose

I began to question the way life works when I worked for one of the biggest consulting firms in the world in my twenties.  If you’ve seen the movie, “The Wolf of Wall Street,” it’s no exaggeration.  I saw all of that and more.  The wolves see life as a win-lose game; they’re simply good players.  In their mind, if you suck at the game of life, it isn’t their fault.  They view victims as poor losers who give up too easily.  Wolves lie because it works.  They hire cheap labor because people take the jobs. 

During this same time period, I married into a nice Italian Catholic family of sheep.  I lived the life of working and partying all week with the wolves; then I’d visit family and eat communion wafers, hear the same old shit stories over and over again, and watch the same boring rituals and traditions.  They saw life through a lens of good and evil.  They were good and moral.  They saw the wolves I worked for as evil and immoral.   

couldn’t reconcile these two sides of my life.  I didn’t want either.   The wolves partied too much and were never satisfied.   They thought money would buy them freedom and joy, and it never did.  I wanted to be good, but I didn’t want the boredom, misery, and victimhood of sheep.  Clearly, neither had the truth.

 

The Key

Wolves simply do what works in the win-lose illusion.  The wolves respected me because I’d call them on their game — they couldn’t trick me.  Wolves don’t feel immoral anymore than an athlete feels immoral when they win.  They don’t create sheep.  They simply give sheep what they’re asking for — a perpetrator.  

On the other hand, sheep work hard to create more sheep by imposing their beliefs on others, especially children.  They tell others that they’re bad when they’re being their True Self or when they succeed.  They cause people to doubt and ignore their emotions.  They demand blind obedience and won’t answer why questions.  Sheep have power tools — guilt, shame, blame, and fear.  

Sheep told me that I needed to learn to be happy while I suffered.  I couldn’t do that.  Once I got truly happy, the problem causing the suffering vanished.  They were clearly doing something unnatural and making it right, but they said I was a failure at suffering.  WTF?  Their perspective is like Pin the Tail on the Donkey.  They blindfold you, spin you around until you’re dizzy, and then wonder why you can’t find the donkey’s ass.  They eventually break your spirit.  Only then will they say you’re good.  

 

Win-Win

I left the wolves’ den to start my own business, and I found my sweet spot.  If I dealt in win-win terms and worked on my own mind instead of using my will and tricking and manipulating the sheep, I could achieve success without harming others.  I didn’t need to be a wolf.  I shared this with my fellow wolves, and they all joined me.  They were only tricking sheep because they thought they had to.

The positive thinking and new thought movements were attempts by ex-wolves to enlighten sheep.  They revealed the rules of the win-lose game to make things fair.  They put out books like “Think and Grow Rich.”  But giving the sheep the rules of the win-lose game didn’t change anything.  Sheep are stuck in the good and evil game.  They don’t want wolves to go away, they need someone to view as evil.  So many of the wolves said, “Fuck you.  You want wolf.  I’ll show you fucking wolf.”

The wolves had extended the olive branch.  They proved that sheep aren’t victims of wolves in wolves clothing  — we’re born with emotional lie detector systems.  The sheep are victims of wolves in sheep’s clothing — religious and spiritual wolves masked as sheep (masculine roles behaving as if they’re feminine) who teach sheep to turn off their emotional lie detection, blindly obey authority, and ignore their True Self.   Without this psychological reversal, wolves would be powerless.   Sadly, sheep follow shepherds who feed them to the wolves, and the sheep glorify the shepherds for doing it.  .

To be continued…

 

Storytelling or History: What’s the Difference?

Footprints in the Sand

By Cathy Eck

 

Storytelling Versus History

I enjoy stories very much.  I love to read them, to write them, and to watch them on the big screen.  But I don’t like history at all.  History is usually presented by the winners; it’s masculine-dominant (his story, not her story) and fact driven, not character driven.  In short, it’s food for the intellect, the false self.

The difference between storytelling and history has become blurred in people’s minds because our educational systems emphasize history over storytelling.  We can learn a lot by studying the difference between storytelling and history.

If we want to write a story, we first develop characters and maybe a plot or a story idea.  We give the characters a false-self perspective, including a back story, preferences, and beliefs.  Then we turn the characters loose and let them interact.  If the characters don’t like the results they’re getting, they’ll hopefully have a change of mind.  If the characters don’t change their mind, the story eventually becomes predictable and boring.  If the characters don’t grow, viewers will stop feeling sympathy for their troubles.

We see these things clearly on the big screen, but often ignore them in our own lives.  Suffering isn’t natural; it’s the consequence of being unwilling to expand our perspective and grow.  Suffering comes from holding on to what we no longer need.  Mental hoarding, just like physical hoarding, is destructive.

 

Life is Storytelling

We’re all living a potentially great story whether we know it or not.  Two decades ago, the Story of “The Legend spontaneously popped out of my unconscious.  That began my exploration into the nature of storytelling.  I could see that “The Legend” was like an undercurrent in my life.  Fairy tales, myths, and religious stories sit in our unconscious as causal forces in our life.  This is why religions and cultures are built on a foundation of storytelling.  We’re controlled by the stories we hold in mind as true.  If we share a common foundation of story with another, we’ll have similar beliefs and see the world through homogeneous eyes.

Modern video games take storytelling to a new level.  I used to watch my children play them, moving from level to level.  If their character screwed up, they’d say, “Oh, I died.”  They’d restart the game.  I felt as though I was watching a miniature version of life.  You either make it to the next level in your storyline, or you die.  The difference is that the gamer realizes he’s responsible for his fate.

 

His Story

History is literal.  There’s no room for individuality or interpretation.  It’s simply the reporting of facts — names, dates, and physical events.  History is always one-sided; usually the winners write history.  As we’ve become more left-brained or intellectual, we’ve forgotten the cause and effect relationship in life.  We fail to consider that every event has a belief-related cause behind it.  We accept the winner’s false-self projection that their enemy is evil and deserving of punishment.

Today, people share their personal stories in historical form.  They think they’re storytelling, but they aren’t.  Great stories allow for change; and great storytellers allow their characters to transform.  People have labeled the oldest stories mythology because they find so many versions of the old stories.  Old stories changed as the characters changed.  History put an end to that; history keeps us stuck within a false, collective mindset.

 

The Key

The true storyteller knew that he created every single character, even the evil ones.  The historian only identifies with one character — the one they label good or right.  

The historian acts as if he or she is either a hero or victim.  They’re telling the story to get sympathy, attention, or approval.  If they get such rewards, they’ll continue to tell the story to keep it alive.

Often we get stuck in another person’s story; we feel like we can’t get free.  We feel bad if we expose another as cause in their drama because we’ve been trained to feel guilty for revealing the cause of history.  We aren’t supposed to point out that the Emperor is naked.

 

Freedom

Freedom requires owning all the characters in our story and seeing that they fit together like a puzzle.  The victim and perpetrator/hero are opposites who have divided thought in the same way (see the triangle process); and the evil that the hero fights is simply his or her shadow.

The psychologist Fritz Perls popularized Gestalt therapy.  Perls studied people’s dreams.  He required them to see themselves as every character and even every essential item in the dream.  In this way, they could step back and see their whole mind; they could see themselves as cause.  When we see our whole mind, we see the mental cause of our problems.  Then we can change our mind more easily.

 

We’re All Storytelling

Many have said that we’re all storytelling.  We invent a story; then ideally we direct, produce, and star in it.  But when we don’t own our mind, we just play a walk-on part in someone else’s drama.  When we follow the false mind (which we acquired from others) over our heart (True Self), our own story remains unlived and untold.  We don’t grow or change.  Life becomes boring, and we feel without purpose.

This happens when we accept masculine and feminine roles; and we place ourselves in a feminine role to another.  Dropping roles that don’t bring us joy is key to returning to our own original story.

Screenwriters say that the audience wants an inciting incident (usually a fall of sorts) in the first ten minutes.  From the perspective of story, we plan our fall into the illusion.  You probably lived that part of your story.  But what happened after that.  Did you learn?  Did you grow?  Did you change?  Did you let go of your “evil” shadow?  Did you love?  That’s what makes a story great.  And most important, did you get that precious and rare happily ever after?