The True Masculine Role (How It Looks)

Leading

By Cathy Eck

 

It’s hard to explain the power of the True Masculine role, mostly because there aren’t many good examples.  The masculine role is the role that has fallen; and it took the feminine right along with it.  Sadly, the fallen masculine leader tries to fix the feminine, its own reflection, instead of looking in and fixing the cause in its own mind.  This keeps everyone stuck.

 

Know your Role

The first step to owning the True Masculine Role in your own mind and life is to always know your role in any situation.  I’ve written plenty about that.  Sometimes the role is obvious.  But sometimes, it isn’t.

For example, in two people of equal status, the one speaking is the in masculine role; the listener is feminine.  We also have tricky ways of getting into the masculine role.  If we see the world as positive and negative, the most positive person will tend to have the masculine role or higher status.  In a spiritual or religious group, the good person will take the lead.  In the illusion, the one who’s right or wins takes the Grand Puba position.  Conscious of this or not, we’re always looking to get that coveted masculine role.

If we can’t win fairly, we might trick the person into giving up their power; or the relationship might be one long power struggle.  Nothing is off-limits in the illusion.  It’s all about the drama.

 

True Masculine

The True Masculine is like the sun — unconditional, expressive, and giving.  Giving is key; too many men want the masculine role so they can receive.  That’s not how it works.  In the True Masculine, there’s no hidden agendas — no masks.  We don’t need a mask to give, to express our True Self.  We only need a mask when we want someone to give to us who doesn’t want to.  Then we’re weasels wearing the mask of a good person.

A religious leader is giving a sermon on obeying God.  They’re a false leader.  They’re looking at the congregation and saying, “You need fixing.  You’re all disobedient.”  But wait, he’s in the masculine role; if he’s seeing disobedience, guess where it is — in his OWN mind.

The husband looks at his wife and sees a bitch.  The question he must ask is what beliefs is he holding about her.  She’s the reflection; he’s got the cause in his mind.  Or perhaps he’s not giving her unconditional love; he’s trying to get attention, sex, his way.  In the illusion, the feminine role reflects what you give.  You give shit; you get shit back.  Deal with it.

The mother looks at her child and thinks he’s lazy.  No, he’s not.  She’s holding her hard work ethic as true when it’s just a belief.  The child is showing her what she fears — who she would be if she didn’t put on her show as a hard worker.

The false masculine fixes the effect of their mental projection, and then sends the projection a bill or punishment.  The reflection always has a WTF look on their face.  I write this blog primarily for those in feminine roles with WTF looks.  But they will escape one day; and then I hope they’ll use what they learned to become the True Masculine that they never knew.  Revenge is never sweet.

 

Hints for Success in the Masculine Role

1)  Shut the fuck UP!  I mean that.  Just let go of what you see in the other that you don’t like or is false.  When we’re in the masculine role, we have the power.  We also love to spew our knowledge all over the place.  But the wisdom is in the feminine role.  We don’t need to train the feminine to follow our rules or think like us, we just need to stop projecting on them.

2)  FEEL!  What you’re thinking about the person in the feminine role does generate emotion in YOU.  You’ll feel it if you stop thinking — get out of your head.

3)  WIN-WIN!  Notice that if they accept your way of thinking, you’ll win or be right, but they’ll lose.  When a True Masculine leads, everybody wins…and I mean everybody, everywhere.

4)  Stop thinking about the other.  Stop giving status reports or reasons.  Stop prophesying what you believe the person will do next.  Just watch your own mind, and let go of what’s false, which is probably everything.  If you have to, lock yourself in a closet.

 

It’s a Dance…

When I was in my twenties, I went to New York City a lot for business.  I always went dancing after work (and drinking).  One night, Teddy, a really chubby, short guy with super thick glasses and the worst hair, came up and asked me to dance.  Teddy asked a lot of girls to dance, but no one said, “Yes.”  I wasn’t looking for a man; I was married.  So I wasn’t sizing up his looks like the single girls.  When I hit the floor, I had one of those American Idol moments when Simon Cowell would go “Holy Shit.”  This guy was an amazing dancer.  He was smooth and light.  But he was also a very powerful leader.  Under his lead, I didn’t need to think — I could just reflect.  I seriously “had the time of my life.”  For the first time, I realized the awesomeness of being cast in a pure feminine role with a True Masculine in the lead.  Reflecting can be really fun.

Every time I went to New York, I’d go dancing with Teddy.  Eventually, we both changed jobs and lost touch.  But I’ll never forgot what it felt like to dance with someone who not only knew he could dance, but also knew that I could dance.  That’s the best analogy that I’ve ever found for the True Masculine.  S/he not only has self-confidence and self-trust, but they have confidence and trust in those who are feminine to them.  They see everyone else as their reflection; and their reflection is perfect.

 

Sharing The Wisdom of Initiation

Sharing Freedom

By Cathy Eck

Sharing Initiation

After letting go for a while, we naturally want to share what we’re doing with others; and we should.  It’s a very important part of the process.  But often people get too anxious.  They want to become the next Tony Robbins.  They get frustrated when sharing doesn’t catapult them to fame and fortune.  That’s because sharing is really about getting feedback on our own clarity; and if we use the feedback, it will serve us well.

I spent years wondering how to share the initiates’ wisdom in a responsible way.  I didn’t get this information from any organization or teacher so I could actually share it without fear of having my tongue cut out; I took no such oaths.  I had no rules to follow.  The same goes for you.  But I came to realize very quickly that saying that our emotions point to false beliefs in our own mind — beliefs that people hold as absolutely true — was a little different than telling people to get positive and enthusiastic.

I realized that if I just gave people the final answer, they’d put that whipped cream wisdom on top of their existing manure beliefs; they’d never get free.  The self-help movement and New Age did enough of that.  Or, if I exposed beliefs but didn’t provide techniques on how to remove them, like conspiracy theorists do, it would be like cutting someone open on the operating table and telling them to go home.  What others were doing wasn’t helping people to get free.

 

Exposing Beliefs

I realized that I had to fearlessly expose false beliefs while supporting the process of letting go.  This required letting go of my fear of authority and the fear that I would be misunderstood or judged.   I had to let go of my fear of retribution and hell.  I had to let go of the notion of opposition or competition.  This took time … in fact years.  I was questioning beliefs that nearly everyone was sure were true.  And I still do…

As I’ve done the work on myself, my message has grown slowly and organically.  I write or speak only when inspired to do so.  Most important, blogging pushes me to let go of collective beliefs and beliefs that would not normally enter into my life.  We actually have far more beliefs than we realize.  We have beliefs about ourselves, others, authorities, and even the earth.

I wanted to create a space and a support system whereby people could become free like they did in the ancient world if they wanted to do so.  That meant not making freedom “right” or “good,” even though it was the only thing that felt right to me.

 

Wisdom Vs. Knowledge

Over time, I learned a few things about sharing this wisdom.  Here are some guidelines that I use:

0)  I don’t do it for money or fame.  As you let go, you move into abundance.  But it probably won’t look like you thought it would.  When you share something responsibly you don’t want to jump into fame.  People bring you beliefs that you’ve not yet let go; and it takes time to clear your mind.  If too many people come at once, you get overwhelmed with your own beliefs.

1)  I don’t share insights right away.  I share once I feel the wisdom has integrated within me — when it’s knowing, not knowledge.  Often our mind gets a glimpse of wisdom before we’ve cleared the contrasting beliefs out of our body.  This is why insights often feel fleeting at first.  They aren’t yet ripe for sharing.

2)  I don’t mix other processes and techniques with letting go EVER.  Very important.  EFT (tapping) isn’t letting go.  Drugs aren’t letting go.  Energy techniques aren’t letting go.  Therapy isn’t letting go.  Traditional motivational coaching isn’t letting go.  Meditation isn’t letting go.  Here’s why.  If we change our energy, raise our vibration, fix our words, or let go of our emotion, but we think/believe the same at the core, we’ll keep creating the same kinds of experiences and meeting the same kinds of people.  Letting go is about using emotions to find our beliefs.  We can’t find our beliefs if we’ve transmuted or tapped away our discriminating emotional system or covered it up with positive thinking or willful action.

3)  I don’t push letting go on anyone.   It’s an option — an opportunity.  However, I do calmly stand up for my True Self if someone tries to impose their beliefs on me.  That took practice!

4)  I constantly watch my own masculine mind to make sure I’m not projecting.  If I’m in a masculine role, and I fear, judge, or hate any other then they’re my reflection.  I’ve divided thought into good and evil or right and wrong.  I let go of what I see in them.  It’s not who they really are in truth.  Then my emotion goes away; and now I’m clear to share.  Most of the world spends their life fixing their own projections (often they bill for it).

5)  Write or speak to share, not to fix.  If I want to fix or change someone, I still see their beliefs as having power.  This is subtle and often overlooked.  When we see the illusion as powerless, which it is, we lose our desire to fix it.  We realize that beliefs harm the believers.  When the believers want out, we lend a hand.

6)  I never make the mistake of considering myself an expert or thinking I’ve arrived.  There are a lot of beliefs in this world.  Often the more we let go, the more beliefs we see.  I can’t let go of the truth or let go of too much.  In this way, my compassion grows.

I continue to let go and then take what I get as feedback.  Then I let go some more.  I expect to have less beliefs each day; and I make sure I achieve that.  That’s what I now consider a successful day.

 

Letting Go and Children

Masculine and feminine roles

By Cathy Eck

 

Masculine Role Teachers

Once we understand the illusion’s roles, letting go becomes easier.  New Age teachers, clergy, gurus, and pop psychologists are well meaning, but they don’t understand roles.  All the techniques taught in expensive workshops and self-help books came from people who managed to somehow get themselves into the masculine role.  The masculine role is funny.  You feel enlightened because suddenly the emotion leaves your body; it gets projected on your shadow — your students, employees, children, or followers.

The masculine role was designed so that the power was in the role.  That way, one could be a wimpy, little man and rule the world (think Wizard of Oz).  The masculine role is blind; they believe the shadow they see is real.  It isn’t.

Now you’ve entered a new chapter of life or you wouldn’t be reading this.  You’re letting go so you can remember your pure thinking.  If you turn your thinking into a system after you remember it, I’ll kick your ass.  I’m joking!  The True Self has no beliefs to impose on others, and they know everyone has the truth inside them.

 

Why?

Why did you look to those false teachers?  You were trained to do so as children.  You were raised by people who thought you’d be perfect if you thought like them.  That’s the blindness of the masculine role.   We learn it; then we do it to others who are feminine to us.

Today’s parents try to self-help their children.  They’re fixing their own projection.  Kids write to me and beg me to write to their parents.  But that’s not my job.  They must learn to let go from the feminine role.

 

Feminine Role Escape

The last thing to give someone in the feminine role is a masculine technique — like affirmations.  It won’t work for them.  They don’t believe they can change their mind because they’re stuck in a masculine shadow.  If they manage to drag that masculine ass to a self-help workshop, the masculine role will question their sanity.  The masculine mind views itself as positive and shiny already.  They already know this stuff.

The person in the feminine role will emotionally back up like a sewer because they’ll think they must be the problem; they don’t know what they’re doing wrong.  Their mind will run in circles.  They’ll take responsibility for what’s being projected on them, which gets them nowhere.

 

Religious Parents

Religious parents are masters of the false masculine.  The good parent (masculine role) projects their anger on the bad child (feminine role).  The kid goes to school and bullies (projects).  He gets a taste of the masculine role and does to others what was done to him.

The parents says, “I didn’t cause that.”  Yes, they did!

They caused it because they didn’t realize that their child was their shadow reflection.  As soon as the child can work his way into the masculine role, he becomes the good masculine and projects until he finds a mate — someone who can play his powerless feminine.  Roles aren’t true; but they get passed down from generation to generation as if they’re true.  To play the role of our parents feels satisfying because from the child’s point of view, we’ve made it into the role of authority.

Many children psychologically reverse their minds to be good (people pleasers).  They learn to do the opposite of what the parents and teachers are projecting.  They obey the words, and ignore the projection.  They take the parent’s control dramas and turn them into love.  They take punishment and turn it into discipline.  They often say things like “My parents did the best that they could.”  These people will unconsciously repeat the same drama with their children because they’ve relabeled it as good or right.  Once psychologically reversed, the illusory world doesn’t look up-side down anymore.  

There’s a huge price to pay for psychologically reversing our minds.  We can’t experience unconditional love.  I was married to a people pleaser.  When I finally could unconditionally love him and give him total freedom, he thought I hated him.  He was looking for the emotional connection he felt with his family of origin and the earlier version of me, and it wasn’t there anymore.  Emotions only exist in false-love connections.

 

The Exit Ramp

In the exit stage, we redefine roles.  We must become a strong and firm masculine leader to those in the illusion (often our parents).  We must support truth and expose falsehood.  This takes courage.

One Easter, we went to visit my in-laws.  One of my children was excited about the candy that was coming since my mother-in-law had been talking it up.  Suddenly I heard my mother-in-law reprimanding my child for jumping around.  She said, “I’m going to tell the Easter Bunny you’re bad — you don’t deserve candy.”  He looked at her so strange.  He didn’t believe in the Easter Bunny since I told my kids the truth — that it was a story.  But she spoke her words with such conviction that, for a moment, he questioned his truth.

I ran interference for him.  I explained to my mother-in-law that she held the Easter Bunny in mind as a lie — a means of control, not a cute story.  My son gave her a chance to correct her thinking, and she damn well better take it.  I wasn’t mean, but I was firm.  I explained to her that kids jump.  He wasn’t doing anything wrong; he was reflecting the contrived excitement that she projected on him.  She didn’t understand; and I didn’t care.  My child felt protected.

People raised in religion are taught that suffering or sacrifice is the way to God.  They often got punished as children for doing things that kids do.  As parents, they do what was done to them.  That’s sad, but it’s still wrong.  The best advice I can give any parent is before you discipline your children, take the mote your parent’s gave you out of your own eye.