Have You Transformed or Conformed? That is the question!

It's never too late

By Cathy Eck

 

Transformed

Creating a memorable story requires a transformed protagonist.  What does it mean to be transformed?  According to most people, to be transformed is really to have finally conformed.

Larry is a problem.  He can’t sit still in school.  He doesn’t do his homework.  His grades are appalling.  Larry daydreams all day long.  He plays alone on the playground; he’s been labeled antisocial.  “What are we going to do with Larry?”

At home, Larry’s addicted to his LEGO blocks; he builds things for hours each day.  To everyone around him, Larry looks lazy.  They believe that he will never function in the real world; he hates hard work.  When he’s allowed to watch television, Larry watches sci-fi movies.  No one notices that Larry is building a new kind of spaceship in his mind.  He dreams of going to far off places.  Larry’s constantly trying to understand rockets and what materials will endure the type of voyage he imagines in his mind.  Unbeknownst to anyone else, Larry’s doing equations in his play that make his homework look infantile.  On the internet, Larry’s studying metals. Larry watches science fiction shows to get ideas to enhance his dream.

Larry can’t stand his parents and teachers; they don’t get him.  They see a lazy, unfocused, and socially-deficient failure.  They never invest the time to watch or listen to Larry.

Eventually, they threaten him.  Larry must improve his grades or the LEGO blocks go.  He must study three hours each night under his parents’ supervision.  Larry gave in; he had no choice.  The next reporting period, Larry got straight A’s.  My God, everyone is so happy.  “Larry has transformed,” they say.  Oh no, they’re so wrong.  Larry hasn’t transformed; Larry has conformed.

Now that his mind is filled with facts, Larry becomes social.  Kids like him; he helps them with their homework.  Larry fits in.  Larry is voted class President and most likely to succeed.  He dates the cutest girl in class.  Larry decides that his dream was unrealistic.  Who really needs a rocket scientist anyway?

 

Larry Grows Up

Larry gets his Ph.D.; he graduates Summa Cum Laude in mathematics.  He’s a great professor.  He marries and has a son.  Larry is happy.  Occasionally he remembers the joy he felt with his LEGO blocks; he wonders if he’ll ever feel that again.  Larry buys his son some LEGO blocks.  As soon as the child can pick up a block, he’s showing him how to build rockets.  Larry reads him space and flying books each night.  He lives vicariously through his son.

But Larry’s son, Harry, loves to draw.  Larry tries to bridge the gap; maybe they can draw rockets.  But Harry wants to draw animals.  Larry’s dream dies another death.

As Larry gets older, he gets cranky.  His nice social facade cracks.  He complains and gets sick all the time.  His wife wonders what’s happened.  He watches the sci-fi channel all day long.  No one understands Larry now because no one ever understood Larry.  Is it too late for Larry to have a Hollywood-quality transformation?

 

Transformed

No, it’s never too late.  Letting go allows us to get back on our own unique and perfect path.  And every inch of that path is perfect. It doesn’t matter where we get back on.  It just matters that we get back on.  We start enjoying life from that moment forward.  To do that, we must let the past go.

Larry is still listening to society; they do think it’s too late for him.  Does it feel good that Larry couldn’t still design a rocket?  Hell no!  Does Larry still have a mind?  If Larry had already designed a rocket, what would be different about his life today, nothing other than he’d have a different memory of the past.  The past is over anyway.

Larry and his wife watch their grandson each day.  The grandson found Larry’s old LEGO blocks.  But Larry can’t stand the sight of them anymore.  They remind him of childhood and the failed attempt to build rockets with Harry.

Larry’s mind is pushing him to the illusion’s exit point, but Larry doesn’t know how to go within.  If Larry would witness his emotions instead of spewing them all over his wife and grandson, he could exit the illusion.  If he witnessed his emotions (not wallowed in them) his old beliefs would rise to the surface, and he could let those old beliefs go.  He’d see that he was right as a child, but he was surrounded by people who hated their own True Selves.  It’s sad, but it’s reality for most people.  How could they support Larry in his dream when they had long ago tossed away their own dreams?

Let’s imagine that Larry does witness and feel his emotions.  He realizes that he conformed; he discriminates and lets go.  Eventually, Larry feels true compassion for himself and the people around him who conformed.  They’re all dead now; in truth, they never lived because they never transformed.

Larry realizes that he’s been angry at Harry because Harry didn’t conform.  He travels the world photographing and painting animals.  Larry witnesses that anger now, and it disappears.  Larry realizes that he gave his son what he wanted most…the opportunity to be himself.  He was a good dad.

Several sci-fi movies have begun and finished as Larry traveled the inner voyage of his life.  Then his grandson taps him on the knee.  “Grandpa, you okay?  Wanna play with me?  I’m trying to build a rocket, but I don’t know how?  Will you help?”

Larry smiles.  “Yep I sure will.  We’ll build the best rocket you could ever imagine!”  Years later, Larry’s grandson graduates with honors in engineering; he and grandpa design a new prototype rocket.  The university where Larry taught funded the project; and today it lifts off as thousands of Larry’s past students cheer on the professor they loved.  Larry’s found his joy again.  He’s transformed.  That’s a wrap.

 

PS:  This is dedicated to my ex-father-in-law who never lived because he never transformed, but he has a grandson named after him who never conformed.  His name is not Larry, and I don’t know if he liked rockets!

 

 

 

What We’ll Do To Get Rid of Our Emotions

Emotions

By Cathy Eck

 

Releasing Emotions

People hate to let go of their seemingly good emotions, like excitement, hope, or pride.  “What would life be without excitement?,” they ask.  To get off the bottom of the triangle, however, we must let go of all the causes of emotions.  Excitement and anger are equally damaging effects of false beliefs.

When confronted with the notion of letting go … Actors fear losing their acting ability.  Artists think they’ll lose their creative edge.  People who believe they’re good fear they’ll lose their empathy.  Those addicted to romance believe emotional chemistry is love.  People fight to keep their emotions while simultaneously hating them.  The illusion falsely promises that it’s giving us what we can only get by letting go.

There are so many techniques to get rid of the emotions generated by our false beliefs.  Techniques like the Release Technique, EFT, and anything else that eliminates the emotion without removing the causal belief are popular.  But they don’t fix the cause unless you happen to let the belief go.

The false masculine eliminates unwanted beliefs that cause emotion.  They get it half right, and it would work if they had no psychological reversals.  They totally believe their view of life is the right view.  They forget to do the win-win test.  Karma might be win-win for a guru since he’s certain he has none.  But it imprisons billions of people.  The apocalypse might look win-win for Christian Bible Thumpers, but it sucks for the rest of us.  The false masculine holds themselves superior to the rest of the world.  In their eyes if we were all like them, earth would be perfect.  Can you see their delusion?

 

So Misunderstood

Emotions are so misunderstood.  Many take substances to eliminate emotions.  They keep jobs they hate or stay in bad marriages because the anger and pain they feel by staying where they are is less than the guilt, shame, poverty, or loneliness they believe they’ll feel if they leave.  

Some people create pain to get rid of their emotions, WTF?  Lisa Ling, reporter on Oprah’s channel, did a special on BDSM, Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM).  When asked why they wanted to be dominated, beaten, and chained; the people said, “It feels good.”  They believe they’re releasing emotions.  Cutting is another way of trading emotions for pain.  

People use sports for emotional release.  They scream at their televisions or use their emotions as fuel when they play.  I used to run.  I pounded the pavement in anger and thought that was healthy.  Sex without love is a sport if desired, rape if undesired by one participant.  Neither sex nor sports are bad; but they’re not meant to be emotional release techniques.

People fight over stupid things or beat their children for emotional release.  They justify it as discipline; but in truth, they just want to release their emotions.

Some vomit their emotions into creative work which is a false-self creativity.  Artistic expression lives in the True Self.  Creative ideas require us to go through the darkness of the false self.  That’s why many great artists become crazy, manic, or suicidal.  But what if they could let go?  They could enter the darkness without a scratch.

 

Good Emotions?

The most ridiculous way to get rid of emotions is to relabel them good.  We feel waves of excitement when something good happens only to be disappointed when we don’t get what we want.  This produces addictions to food, drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, parties, adventures, drama, workshops, healers and psychics, sex, religion, etc.  Life in the illusion creates the downward wave quite nicely.  We go to others or substances to pull us back up.  

Caretakers give outer care as well as a strong emotional projection.  People feel better when they serve because shit flows downhill.  Our unconscious masculine hates emotions; and it looks for victims to project its fears on.  People give to charity to feel prideful or eliminate guilt.  Charities represent the manifestations of our fears — the thing we want to see fixed in the world before it happens to us.    

Many spiritual teachers and religious leaders use talent or knowledge to claim the false masculine role and stay there.  They project their false feminine on followers.  They often don’t realize that they have God complexes, not God, in their masculine mind.  They believe they have the right to judge and punish their opposition — their own shadow — that would be us.  Most of us fear people with God complexes so we don’t challenge them.  If we do, we get what we expect — punishment, humiliation, or death.  This is why we’re often silent about things that truly matter.

In truth, emotions are all the same.  Labeling them keeps us stuck.  Emotional release techniques only create more confusion.  If we follow our emotions, they’ll  take us to the causal belief.  Once we understand this, freedom becomes possible.  Emotions go away naturally when we let go of the cause.  Our mind is a beautiful, organic system that leads us to the perfection that the illusion claims to be humanly impossible.

Letting go is compassionate.  I wanted to learn how because I didn’t want to project on others.  I didn’t want to explode on others.  I didn’t want to reflect their baggage.   I didn’t care to run anymore.  I just wanted to love and free others.

When tempted to seek emotional release or feed an addiction, first stop and ask yourself:  “What thought or problem am I trying to eliminate?”  Follow your emotion by witnessing it.  We listen and let go when we discover the causes.  As we practice letting go, we stop playing the “Pass the Emotions” game.

Even for those of us who practice witnessing our emotions and letting go, it isn’t fun when they arise.  But emotions are the guide on the path to the True Self — Heaven on Earth.  If you want that destination, you must take the path that goes there.

 

The Agony of Psychological Reversal

Psychological reversal

By Cathy Eck

 

Understanding psychological reversal is key to freeing our mind.  We’re all psychologically reversed in the areas of our life that don’t work perfectly.

 

What’s Psychological Reversal?

Years ago, I took a muscle testing class.  There was one woman in the class that creeped me out.  Lucky me; the instructor paired me with this creepy woman.  I was going to discover why she felt creepy.

When I asked her to think of a happy time, her arm went limp; she looked sad.  Then I asked her to think of a negative event in her life; she smiled brightly and got as strong as a bull.  I was sure I was doing something wrong; so I called over the instructor.  He said, “No you’re doing everything right.  This woman has extreme psychological reversal.  She gets strong in painful situations and weak when things are going well.”

Well I’ll be damned.  I never thought such a thing existed.  Then I realized that I’d seen mild cases of this all my life.  People who “shine in a crisis” or “smile while they suffer” are common.  Often, we label them heroes.

 

Psychological Reversal Begins…

My son was scared as hell on his first roller coaster ride.  At the time, I didn’t know about letting go.  I remember watching his mind work.  He was feeling strong fear, and he was trying to sooth the emotion with words like, “This roller coaster is reliable.  Others have ridden on it and lived.”  In that moment, I saw this normal thought pattern as backwards, false, and ineffective.

In hindsight, I should have asked him to dive into the fear and find the causal belief.  He would have let the cause go.  Then he would have ridden on the roller coaster with a calm joyousness.

We’re all highly trained to sooth, suppress, or numb emotions, and we resist going back and releasing the causal belief.  Our training keeps our false self in tact.  To end psychological reversal, we must break the normal pattern of thought.  The psychologically reversed mind views emotions as proof that their thinking is true.  It’s masterful at soothing the emotions with more thought.

Soothing fixes the problem for now.  Shining in a crisis fixes the problem in the moment.  But it doesn’t fix the causal belief.  Eventually, we’ll be soothing and shining again.  If we have deep psychological reversal and feel pride in our ability to shine in a crisis, we’ll never remove the causal thought.  We’ll fear losing our false purpose and superiority.

When we are not psychologically reversed, we notice that a thought doesn’t feel good, and we drop it.  Healthy, successful people do this naturally all the time.  Usually, they don’t even notice that they do it.

 

The Illusion Needs Psychological Reversal

Psychological reversal is key to making good soldiers, good slaves, and good subordinates.  Feminine roles in the illusion are about obedience and following.  The True Self can’t obey or follow someone who isn’t authentic, truthful, and loving (the true masculine).  The true feminine is about creativity, inspiration, and wisdom.  

When we make followers the good children or decorate soldiers for following orders, we create psychological reversals that are nearly impossible to break.  We create people who ignore their True Self and obey authority because they’re proud of being false selves.  We create people who willingly accept feminine roles that lead to their demise, destruction, or death.  

The false self of psychologically reversed people will fight to the death to make sure the True Self isn’t exposed because it fears annihilation.  The True Self is the enemy in psychological reversal because it won’t follow that which is false — it won’t obey false authority.  It questions them!

If we’re stuck and emotion isn’t moving or our body isn’t healing, the cause is often found in the emotions that we label positive.  Pride, excitement, romance, and hope are all emotions that are labeled positive.  However, emotions are neither positive or negative.  They’re just a signal that we’re thinking something false.  The emotions are a warning that we need to let go.

 

An Example 

Client:   My mother was abusive to me; I can’t forgive her.

Coach:  How does that feel when you think it?

Client:  Terrible

Coach:  So is it true?

Client:  Yes, it’s true. She beat me.

Coach:  It was your reality in the past.  But you aren’t being beaten now.  Your emotion right now is caused by labeling your mother abusive.  Labels aren’t true so they feel bad when we think them.

Client:  But it’s true.  She abused me.

Coach:  Her false self abused you.  In the past, you met her at her false self because you believed something that allowed her to abuse you.  She probably told you that you were bad and deserved punishment, and you believed her because she was your authority.  Then she delivered punishment.

Client:  Yes, she said I was a wise ass; I needed it beaten out of me.

Coach:  Are you a wise ass?

Client:  She thought I was.  I was speaking what I saw; she didn’t like what I said.

Coach:  So you were exposing reality that she wanted to hide.

Client:  Yes, that’s it.

Coach:  Does it feel good to keep the label wise ass?

Client:  Kind of.

Coach:  You’re proud of wise ass, but it isn’t the truth of who you are.  It didn’t feel good when she labeled you wise ass.  So let it go.

 

Client let’s go, and she realizes that her mother is no longer abusive so she’s not a victim anymore.  She’s no longer holding on to her label of wise ass.  Her pride  in being a victim and being a wise ass has disappeared.  Her psychological reversal is gone.

Her mind is now seeing the whole picture clearly, and she is calm.  She realizes that she was only abused because she fell out of her True Self when she believed her mother.  Now she is truly wise; and it couldn’t ever happen again.

 

The Act of Letting Go: How is it Done?

Letting go

By Cathy Eck

 

Letting Go Isn’t a “How To” Process

You’d think after over two hundred blog posts, I’d have written about how to let go; but I never have.  I’ve discussed the topic in countless ways, but I’ve never addressed it directly.  There’s a reason for that.  Letting go isn’t something that can be explained in a “how to” fashion.  There is no “Letting Go for Dummies.

“How to” comes from our false mind — it comes from knowledge, reasoning, and wanting answers — which just creates more beliefs and illusion.  Letting go happens automatically when we realize that what we hold in mind is false.

Letting go is the result of discrimination.  Consequently, what I talk about most on this blog is discrimination — how to differentiate between truth and falsehood.  Letting go is the effect of realizing that your causal beliefs are false.

 

A Metaphor

Imagine that you want to go to the beach.  You ask a friend for directions and follow them carefully.  But when you arrive at the end of the directions, there’s no beach. You could go back to the starting point, but you’ve driven a long way.  You don’t even know if you’re closer to the beach than when you started.

Suddenly, you spot a guy in swimming trunks with a surfboard.  That’s a good sign; he looks like someone who would be a reliable source for beach directions.  He gives you directions, and you get back into your vehicle.

Now you have a choice.  You can follow the new directions and get to the beach, or you can hold on to the old directions and stay put.  Of course, the choice is easy.  You trash the old directions, and you drive to the beach.  How did you trash those old directions?  You simply let them go because you realized that they were false.  You discriminated.  You didn’t need a “how to” book to do so.

 

Beliefs are Temporary Truth

Beliefs were designed to be temporary just like directions to the beach.  Our beliefs cause our actions.  When the desired action is complete, we let the causal beliefs go.  You don’t think about letting go or try to let go.  You just let the beliefs go.

The reason that it’s so hard to let go of some thoughts or beliefs is that you’ve labeled them in your mind as useful, true, or right.  You think you’ll need them in the future.  Sometimes an authority has scared, guilted, or shamed you into keeping them in your mind as rules.

As human minds became more logically oriented, we learned how to memorize; people began holding on to beliefs.  They even created belief systems.  They relabeled beliefs as truth.  If you replace your True Self with a belief system, you create a false leader or God within your mind.  Your True Self then becomes the enemy of that false leader.

You can hang out in someone else’s illusion for a while, just like an actor plays a character.  But in time, your True Self will want to fulfill its divine plan.  An inner Armageddon starts to occur.   You begin to seek the truth.  You find many people who will gladly give you their version of truth — usually more beliefs.  Most people put even more belief systems in their mind before they realize that the right path is the path of their own True Self.

But where has their True Self gone?  Did they lose it?  No, they didn’t lose it.  They covered it up with beliefs.  They must dig it out by letting go of all the false beliefs they now hold in their mind as true.  It’s not a small job.

 

You Have Free Will

If you accept another person’s or group’s illusion as your truth, your emotions become psychologically reversed to honor their belief system.  You live for others, not your True Self.  Religious, cultural, and social beliefs are sticky because our mind tells us that they must be right because so many people believe them.  But most people are completely lost — trained from birth by authorities who are already grounded in the illusion.

Once you decide that you want to return to your True Self’s path, your emotions show you the way.  When you think something True, you feel calm.  When a belief arises, you feel emotion.  Since you’ve accepted lots of beliefs, you often feel like you’re going to burst with emotion.  All of your old beliefs arise trying to pull you back.  Your false mind says, “What about honoring your mother and father?”  “You’ll go to hell if you don’t obey the priest.”  “You must serve or sacrifice to be good.”  “You are becoming selfish.”  “You won’t be special anymore.”

Your change in direction has made the old belief systems obsolete.  But you have always obeyed them in the past.  What once felt good, now feels terrible.  This causes great confusion.  You must slow down your mind and discriminate.  You must let go of the beliefs that no longer feel good.  If you don’t let go, you stay stuck (like holding on to the old directions to the beach).

 

Letting Go Can’t Be Forced 

Letting go happens when you realize the old beliefs were false — when you discriminate.  Now you feel emotion that you didn’t feel before; there’s a voice that says the emotion means the belief is true.  It’s lying.

You MUST remember, “If a belief generates emotions, it isn’t true.”  That becomes your new mantra until you find your True Self.  Belief systems, usually from religion, culture, or social status, make letting go hard.  But hard doesn’t mean impossible.  You undo them one belief at a time.

True freedom means that you’ve let go of all beliefs.  The True Self has no permanent beliefs.  As you continue to let go, discrimination becomes easier.  The process quickens and becomes a normal part of life. Discrimination, the willingness to let go, and the desire to BE YOURSELF is the only formula you need for complete freedom.

Letting Go of Beliefs Using Emotional Release Techniques

emotional release

By Cathy Eck 

 

Why Do We Have Emotions?

I was so confused by emotions growing up.  My father seemed to have too few, and my mother seemed to have too many.  My mother’s way of emotional release wasn’t pretty.  I decided at a young age, that I wanted to find the true purpose of emotions.

Most people hate their emotions.  They go to extreme lengths to avoid or suppress them.  If addictions or distractions don’t sooth their emotional body, they make their environment sterile from triggering events and people.  Then their lives start to mimic a fish in a glass bowl.  Every day looks the same — nothing ever changes.  Others develop a hard shell and lose their ability to be intimate or authentic with others.  Avoiding emotions isn’t the answer.

 

Emotions Turn Us Inward

Emotions are designed to pull us inward so we’ll examine our minds and let go of problematic beliefs (causes).  Ideally, when we feel emotion, we’d remove our attention from what is outside and turn inside.  We’d witness or follow the emotion to the causal belief.  We’d let the causal belief go, and the emotion would go too.

When we release, suppress, or express our emotions without finding the causal belief, we create a temporary fix, not a permanent cure.

 

If your beliefs are serving you and harmless to others, you won’t feel emotions and you won’t cause emotional outbursts in others.  Emotions were wrongfully blamed because they reveal beliefs; they keep us truthful.  They push us to be ourselves.

Often people in our past didn’t like our True Self.  They forced their beliefs on us in order to make us like them.  We twisted our minds to think that the emotion we felt around their beliefs confirms their rightness, creating psychological reversal.

We have two choices in life.  We can let go of our desire to live in the world authentically as our True Self and follow the path of our beliefs (false self), or we can let go of whatever beliefs pulled us into the illusion and live as our True Selves.

 

Emotional Release Techniques

Most therapy is about creating an emotional release because emotions are considered evil within the illusion.  If you want complete freedom, you need techniques that free beliefs, not just emotions.  Eliminating emotions provides relief, but it doesn’t eliminate the cause.

If you examine the emotional release technique of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), the practitioner advises the client to rub themselves or tap on certain meridians while saying words like, “Even though I’m very ashamed of myself, I unconditionally love and accept myself.”  Those words still accept the notion of shame as real or possible.  Shame exists only in the illusion so the action is trying to fix the illusory shame rather than let it go.  Shame doesn’t exist in the True Self.

The patient believes they’ve fixed the problem, and so it appears.  But they’ve really put ice cream on top of manure and created a sundae.  They’re left with shame plus a belief that shame was removed.  They don’t get the complete release of knowing that shame isn’t real.

In the illusion, there’s a core principal that the illusion is true.  Therefore, you can’t let it go.  Doctors, therapists, lawyers, government, military, teachers, inventors, and parents are all trying to fix the illusion.  Thus, the illusion stays in tack.  To get free, you have to let go the illusion — not fix it.

 

Letting Go is True Emotional Release

Before I discovered how to let go, I tried to EFT.  I feared that I was going to put holes in my body because I tapped so much.  I lived in an environment where beliefs were spoken all the time.  It was clear that emotional release techniques didn’t help because my environment triggered beliefs and created new emotions as fast as I could release them.

We could adapt the language of EFT to include letting go so it becomes more than just emotional release. You’d do that by changing the language to include discrimination.  When you rub or tap to say, “Even though…blah, blah,” you could change the words to, “I let go of the belief that I’m a bad person because shame is a false idea.”  However, you can’t fake letting go; it can’t just be about saying the words like a mantra.

You must recognize that your belief in shame is false.  Your True Self never did anything wrong, even if your false self did.  Everything judged bad is false because anything bad or evil is caused by false beliefs like the notion of good and evil, and you didn’t invent that.

Bad or wrong only happens within the illusion.  In the illusion, it ALWAYS takes two to tango.  Victimhood is clearly part of the illusion.  Every event in the illusion is about two opposing charges coming together.  Most people are stuck in the illusion because they’ve been labeled bad or wrong, while the person holding the opposing charge is also stuck in their false goodness and irresponsibility.  If we get that, we can free ourselves completely.

When we let go of a causal belief, we return to our True Self.  Emotional release occurs as a natural biproduct.

 

Discrimination

If we do emotional release with discrimination, we’ll eventually realize that tapping is silly.  We’ll realize that what caused the letting go was always the fact that we discriminated between true and false.  We somehow got to the truth and realized that there is no bad or evil.  We realized that shame is illusory.  We can now eliminate the middle man and forget the tapping or breathing or any other ritual.

Emotional release is only a temporary fix.  If we don’t let the causal belief go, it will keep creating reality and those related emotions will return.  When we do the complete job of letting go at the cause, we never have the same problem or experience again.  We’re one belief closer to the freedom of a pure virgin mind.