Taking Your Power Back By Playing a Game

Breaking through the wall

By Cathy Eck

 

FYI:  This is an advanced post that might not make sense if you’re new to letting go.

Stuck in Someone’s Beliefs

My blog readers aren’t heads of government, religions, or corporations.  They’re creative people who feel stuck in belief systems that were imposed upon them by others.  They often feel locked in a feminine role.

The majority of leaders and authority figures (even family leaders) see enemies and problems to be fixed in the people who play feminine roles beneath them.  They don’t realize that the problems and enemies they see actually exist ONLY in their own mind.  They speak as if the illusion that their mind created is real and true; it is for them.  We all see what we believe.  The false masculine thinks that its beliefs are God’s laws.  It rewards and punishes accordingly.

Our problems began when we believed our first false masculine leader or parent.  We began to see what they said we should see.  Life on earth has been this way for thousands of years.  It will change when we stop believing what others claim to see or know — when everyone admits that the Emperor is buck naked.

Here’s a game to help you escape the feminine role.  It’s challenging, and it’s designed to show you what to let go, to improve your discrimination, and to flip your mind back into the mental, True Self perspective.  Ultimately, we want letting go to become like driving — it’s mostly automatic.

 

The Game

See yourself in front of an audience consisting of difficult people from your life — people who judge you or want to control or fix you.  They can be people you know, authority figures, or imaginary people.  You can even invite God.  Let them speak one at a time.  Allow them to say what’s wrong with you or what you need to believe or be to please them.

I want you to see that what they say is their projection and their own level confusion.  Often they are looking only at what you are doing and judging their own beliefs about it.  Sometimes they don’t even see you.  Here’s an example:  One audience member looks at you and says, “You’re lazy.  You haven’t done anything lately.”  From the physical perspective, they’re right.  You’ve been doing lots of inner work.  But you aren’t allowed to tell them off, defend yourself, or react in this game.

First, you must recognize that they’re speaking from their physical perspective — the beliefs that form their illusion.   Notice how their comment feels to you.  You probably feel emotion; remember, the emotion means that what they said was FALSE.  If you take that emotion in and defend it, you enter their illusion.  You’re powerless because their illusion is a foreign land for you.  If you simply let go of their comment because it’s FALSE, your mind stays clear and free.

Take it slow.  You might feel lots of emotion regarding their comment.  You want to drain it all by witnessing it and remembering why you felt the emotion.  Don’t label the emotion anger, fear, or rage.  That just makes it real.  The emotion is simply saying that what they said was false.  That’s all!

You’ve been letting go a lot lately; and it’s true that you’re not doing much physical work.  But are you lazy?  Mentally, no.  In fact, mentally speaking, they’re lazy.  They haven’t let go of anything.  This is what frees you.  You see that they’re judging you from their physically oriented illusion.  They’re projecting their unwanted defect of mental laziness on you by confusing levels.  A person living from the mental perspective looks like an enemy to someone in the physically oriented illusion.  In the illusion, it’s all about what they see!

We all start life at the mental perspective; and as we accept physical perspective projections from others, we fall into their illusion.  By recognizing the error of the people who cast their stones upon us, we reverse our OWN fall.  Their fall is their problem.  Once you’re clear, you’ll have the words to explain yourself to them.  Or you’ll feel comfortable not responding at all.

 

Explain Yourself!

When we’re living from the mental point of view, we’re often asked by people in the illusion to explain ourselves.  People in the physical perspective don’t understand the mental perspective.  Often the only answer we have is that we did what felt right.  By untangling these two perspectives in your mind, you move out of right-wrong.  You no longer accept their projected judgment.  Their more limited physical perspective will only affect them if you let their beliefs go from your mind.

The trick to winning this game is to remember that what they say is what’s on their mind.  You must realize that neither their conviction, emotional projection, nor authority make their words true in the mental perspective.

Don’t go into their mind.   Keep watching your mind.  See what arises next.  In some instances, you’ll notice judgments toward them in your mind; and ideally, you’ll let them go even if they deserve the judgment.  If you let your judgments toward them go, you might just get to the True Self perspective and feel unconditional love for them.  You just see life from different perspective than they do.  Understanding cleans up that gap.  You’ll see them as powerless and lost — they’re in the fallen world.  You might want to help them, but you won’t want to fix them.  People fix others because they are afraid of them.  We help others because we care.

Your audience members can leave for two reasons:  1) They admit that they don’t want to let go; that’s fine but they must leave your mind (not necessarily your life).   2) They get it, and they let go.  They no longer belong in your audience of difficult people.  Your job is to clean out the entire audience.  That’s how you win the game.

Intention: Win-Win (Compassion) or Win-Lose

Compassion

By Cathy Eck

 

Win-Win

As an entrepreneur, I read lots of business books.  When I finished one, I’d go to Barnes & Noble to get another.  One night, I stopped at B&N to get my latest fix.  I noticed a book on the display that said “Win-Win” on the cover.  I didn’t buy the book or even look inside it.  But I loved the sound of those words — win-win.

I bought another book and left the store.  But I couldn’t get win-win out of my mind.  I thought, “I’m going to start living my life that way.  If something isn’t win-win, I won’t do it.”  I didn’t realize that I’d just opened a gateway to compassion…one of the most important keys to initiation.

The next day, during a restroom break at work, I was washing my hands; and I dripped soap on the sink counter.  Those soap droplets caught my attention.  I wondered if just leaving them on the sink was win-win.  After all, we had a maid.  But then the soap would stay there looking messy until the maid came.  I also sensed an attitude of superiority in me as if I was too important to clean.  That didn’t feel win-win.  How could I possibly be more important than the woman who cleaned this restroom?  It really wasn’t win-win to pass the responsibility for my mess on to the maid even if it was technically her job.

Eventually, I pulled down some paper towel and cleaned up my mess.  But I hadn’t just cleaned the counter.  I’d also cleaned something in my mind.  I realized that when I reached that win-win place of thinking over this stupid little thing, I felt a deep calmness that I’d not felt since childhood.  It was way beyond anything I’d felt with meditation.  Meditating quieted my mind; but I was letting go of my shallow false masculine perspective, which freed my mind.

Back at my desk, I picked up a sales contract.  Suddenly it didn’t look win-win.  I called the potential customer and offered to make changes in his favor.  I wasn’t playing games anymore; I treated him the way I would want to be treated.  Again, I felt that peace.

This experiment started with a physical focus — doing that which was win-win.  But it shifted into something much bigger — letting go of any thought that wasn’t win-win.  That, I’d learn, is the meaning of compassion.  Compassion is what tames the false masculine.

 

Intention

About ten years later, people started to write books on the power of intention.  But there was no compassion in their intention setting.  They were thinking an intention before they did something like “Send me that which is for the highest good.”  It sounded nice, but they were washing their hands of responsibility — letting the universe decide what’s good for them.  Unfortunately, the universe doesn’t act as our fair and just concierge; we get what we believe.  This allowed the person to look compassionate without being compassionate.  Compassion doesn’t happen until we let go of beliefs.  It purifies our mind when we let go of the false masculine’s judgmental win-lose, good-evil, or right-wrong thoughts.

Others set intentions like, “I intend to win this race,”  or “I intend to lose twenty pounds this month.”  They were willing the future into submission for their benefit — another talent of the false masculine.

My intention to live from win-win caused me to go deep into my mind and to question my own thinking.  I was letting go before I even understood letting go.  To really get to win-win on any subject, I had to consider everyone that might be affected by the situation — the true application of the Golden Rule.  Letting go of the false masculine beliefs and judgments transformed my false physically-oriented perspective into the true, pure mental perspective of life.  Of course, when my mind was right, top of the triangle with no opposite thoughts, my behavior followed.  I couldn’t imagine harming another.

 

Compassion

Later, I decided to do my Ph.D. Dissertation on the initiation story of Jesus, and I used this same technique.  Unlike Christians, I didn’t want to copy Jesus’ actions; I wanted to understand, and find in myself, the mind of Jesus.  I’d take a Bible quote that didn’t make sense such as, “The meek shall inherit the earth.”  I started with the win-lose interpretations that I’d been taught:  “You have to be submissive to get to heaven.  You get rewarded for giving others what they want.”  None of the thoughts that popped into my mind felt win-win.  They didn’t produce that calmness or compassion.  So I kept dropping every belief that arose and kept digging for the truth.  You see, the truth wasn’t in some guru or in the ethers for channels to pick up; it was in my mind resting quietly below all of my false knowledge.

After letting go of many thoughts about this quote, I dropped into that now familiar place of win-win.  Jesus was talking about the mental, not the physical.  He was already in that compassionate place when he spoke.  When we let go of our beliefs and knowledge, our mind becomes meek, quiet, and pure.  We can’t imagine fighting or willing in order to get what we want.  And yet, our meek mind is extraordinarily powerful because our mind is so clear and creative.  We easily get whatever we focus our mind on — we inherit the earth.

I repeated this process for thousands of hours until I decoded the path of initiation from the story of Jesus.  He was a compassionate dude; and it wasn’t because of what he did but because of how he thought.  Then I saw it everywhere — initiation was embedded in many ancient myths and legends.  You can’t see it until you get the right perspective.  Real freedom, real peace, and real power are revealed when we exercise compassion and let go until our thinking becomes completely win-win for everyone.  That’s how we bring heaven back to earth.

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part IV)

We aren't victims

By Cathy Eck

 

Here are a few more tips on escaping the role of victim forever.  You might want to read Part I, Part II, and Part III first.

No one is a victim of another — that’s the illusion.  We’re all victims of the illusion, until we escape.  

Remember that any benefits you get from living a victim role are so small compared to what you’ll receive from freedom.  The escape isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it.

 

Judgment Vs. Discrimination

A victim confuses judgment and discrimination.  (I’ve written about that here).  We must get to the place where our feminine side doesn’t believe others that judge us because their words feel bad — so they aren’t true.  We also have to get to the place where we stop judging others (masculine side).  We must realize that if we have an untrue belief about another, we’re generating emotions in our body and feeding our false self.

Even Hitler had a pure True Self; unconditional love means that we let go of what we see in him so we can remember who he really is.  What you then realize is that when you only see unconditional love in another, they can’t hurt you.  But you can’t fake it until you make it.  You must get to the place of unconditional love by honest letting go, not mental gymnastics.

 

Sympathy

The victim has been trained to be sympathetic rather than compassionate (more here).  Sympathy causes us to take on the unwanted beliefs of others when we choose to entrain with their emotions.  The victim is emotional because they hold beliefs in mind instead of truth.  When we entrain with their emotions, we get their beliefs in our mind as a bonus.  We’re told sympathy is good by the illusion because it perpetuates our false selves.  Once we’ve sympathized with others, and destroyed our life, we expect others to join us in misery.  But someone has to say “NO MORE.”  We have to move to compassion.

Compassion has the balls to say, “Let go. The Emperor is naked.”  Compassion tells the truth fearlessly.  Compassion helps everyone.  Sympathy helps NO ONE.

 

A Victim Looks for Reasons, Not Causes

If I had a dime for every time I heard reasons why someone was a victim… oh Lordy I’d be a rich woman. Victims have minds that make up reasons, and they believe their own ridiculous reasons.  This is how we get pissed off fairies, evil aliens, judgmental Gods, Satan, curses, rituals to fix the curses, evil illuminati, and much more.  The victim is never the cause.  The reason is always someone or something else.  The reasoning enables them to project their emotional pain outside of them, and projection keeps people very stuck.  Most people are victims of their own projections.  If we look inward and find the real cause, the projected evil reasons disappear.

Victims often ask questions like, “Why did this happen to me?”  Their mind answers and gives them utter bullshit, and that utter bullshit has strong emotions attached to it.  They’ve already been psychologically reversed to believe that something that feels bad is true, so they believe their own lying mind.  They even think it’s God talking or some spirit guide or dead avatar.  The mind is like a tape recorder.  It simply repeats what was recorded earlier in their mind, in other’s minds, or the collective mind.

The True Self’s advice is always perfect for us.  We get to the True Self advice by letting go of the false advice until we get the perfect answer that feels calm, clear, and right.  It’s win-win for everyone.

 

The Victim Thinks Success Is Ego

When people are successful at something, it’s because they don’t have an ego, not because they do.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  Often they succeed with their True Self, and then the false self takes the credit in time.  But ego or false self is what keeps us from fulfilling or dropping our desires.  Thus religion and new age are filled with EGO while telling us they’re getting rid of it.  You can’t fix the false self, you can only let it go.  Most teachers today are either projecting their false self on their followers or floating above it.  They are clone minds, not True Selves.

When we’ve been judged for our success, we often start to resist the fulfillment of desires.  I made this mistake for years.  Not achieving desires felt better than the judgment I got for succeeding from my religious family and friends.  We must learn that what someone says in judgment feels bad because it’s false.  I eventually realized (after much letting go work) that they were just showing me their false self.

The entire Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is the Ego or false self — not just the evil part.  THIS IS KEY! Knowledge is getting truth or lies from the outside instead of from within us.  We learn good and evil from other people (authorities).  When we listen to anyone who says something that doesn’t harmonize with our True Self, we’re stuck in false self, eating from the wrong fucking tree.

 

Meekness

“The meek shall inherit the earth” doesn’t mean the poor will get God’s blessing.  I was terrified of this belief when I was stuck in the illusion.  Now it’s very clear.  It means when you let go of the competitive, fighting, win-lose, good-evil false self, you don’t have to fight with anyone anymore.  You get the whole earth without removing your ass from your chair — unless inspired to do so. 

So being a victim doesn’t make you meek and heaven bound.  It makes you false self bound in hell.  It makes you a pawn of the illusion, not God’s beloved child.  When you see that, you won’t want to be a victim anymore.  And when you no longer want your inner victim, you kick its royal ass out of your mind forever.

Sympathy, Empathy, or Compassion

Sympathy-Empathy-Compassion

By Cathy Eck

 

Sympathy

One day, my ex-husband was sharing childhood paperboy memories.  He talked about getting up early and usual paperboy stuff.  Then he got teary eyed and said, “There was one women who inspired me.  She didn’t have any money, but she had a big plum tree.  Often she didn’t pay me, but she shook her plum tree and let me keep whatever plums fell to the ground.”

By this time, I’m about ready to lose it because I can see where this is headed, but I took a deep breath and allowed him to continue.  My ex-husband was trained to believe that sympathy is kindness.  “She was so poor, Cathy, (sob, sob) that one time she didn’t have any wood for her fire so she went and got a railroad tie from the train tracks and carried it all the way up the hill by herself.  Can you imagine?”  The only thing I’m imagining is how fucking strong this woman is to get a railroad tie out of the tracks and carry it up a steep hill.

He was sure we’d weep together and wallow in sympathy for the old woman.  But I had no sympathy because the woman didn’t deserve it.

First of all, a newspaper is not a necessity for life.  If you don’t have the money to pay the lousy nickel (this was in the 60’s), you cancel the damn paper.  Second, I wondered how the railroad company felt about missing a highly important railroad tie.  I was appalled with the woman.   I was also appalled at my ex-husband’s lack of discrimination.  He truly couldn’t see that she was a great con artist.  She got a little kid to take a plum for a paper and was labeled inspiring in the process.  She got people to feel sorry for her instead of using her clearly enormous physical strength to earn a living.  I now call this the victimhood advantage; and some people play it like a harp.

This event was my first big insight into the nature of sympathy, empathy, and compassion.  Sympathy isn’t natural.  It’s a learned behavior that is socially correct in the illusion.  If you want to get out of the illusion, you have to understand that compassion is the ticket out of Dodge.

When my ex-husband wasn’t paid for his paper, he felt emotion.  His emotion was saying: “Don’t believe her.”  A normal reaction would have been to stop delivering her a paper.  She simply couldn’t afford it.  But his trained reaction was that she was some sort of hero.  This is level confusion at its best.

When we feel sorry for another, we accept their illusory view, their beliefs, as true.  Our mind says that if it is true for them, it’s true for us.  Then we create the same crap in our life and say “I guess they were right.”  It keeps both people stuck.

Later in life, my ex-husband still created nice people who cheated him out of what he deserved, and he wondered why.  You can’t drive very far if you have one foot on the gas and one on the break.  Sympathy is like that.  You give attention to the problem while trying to solve it.

In the illusion, sympathy feels like attention and alleviates guilt.  When you lose interest in the illusion, you don’t want sympathy.  Sympathy suddenly feels like hate; and that is what it is when you take the wrapper off.  If you keep another stuck in their problem, do you love them or hate them?  When I screw up, I want people to remind me to let go, not people to reward the problem.  I want freedom from problems.

 

Empathy

Empathy is useful inside and outside the illusion.  It’s a bridge between worlds.  Empathy is the ability to walk in another’s shoes and see if what you are about to do is win-win.  When we let go of our beliefs about sympathy, we naturally move up to empathy.  We can’t harm others (although we might burst their false bubble).  Sympathy happens after the problem occurs; it’s a reaction to the effect.  Empathy prevents problems from occurring; it affects the cause.  If everyone had empathy and operated from win-win, we’d have no conflicts and few, if any, problems.

 

Compassion

Compassion is totally different from sympathy or empathy; it is what Jesus taught.  Compassion corrects the cause of any problem.  In compassion, you don’t believe anything that doesn’t feel good.  You know it’s false.  You are clear that what feels bad is false, even if it looks real.  You recognize that the person with the problem is caught in an illusory nightmare, and you let go of any belief in your mind that they can’t heal themselves or fix their problem.  You trust in their ability to return to their True Self, and you do as little as possible for them.  You realize that their True Self is powerful beyond measure and can handle this better than your false mind.

Compassion allows people to change, heal, and grow.  Empathy allows us to live together peacefully.  Sympathy keeps everyone stuck in codependency that is relabeled caring and love.

Now I know this is not an easy thing to grasp at first.  But when I’ve helped people to experience this shift, they feel the magic of release.  Sometimes they laugh, sometimes they cry, and sometimes they just sit in awe because they’ve had a glimpse of their True Self.  In true compassion, miracles happen.  I’ve seen diseases disappear, relationship problems mend, and people forget why they called me because they can’t remember their problem.  That is how I know they’ve found the truth and healed the cause.  We all fell into the illusion, and we learned to be socially sympathetic; but when we let sympathy go, we’re reborn as our True Selves with compassion.

 

Here’s my radio interview on the Victimhood Advantage if you want some dessert.