By Cathy Eck
Caregiving and Caretaking
Did you ever notice that we use these two words interchangeably? It doesn’t make sense because giving and taking are opposites. So let’s take a deeper look into the original design of the role of care or service.
In the illusion, we focus attention on doing. People rarely examine their reason, intention, or thinking behind doing — it’s usually to look good or get something in return. Initiates focused exclusively on thinking. In the true world, the reason is key; what we do is simply the effect of that reason (or belief).
Our inner emotional system was originally designed to feel peaceful and calm when we followed our True Self; but we were trained to mistake real calmness for the lack of fear that is achieved when we please our false Gods (authorities).
A little history (his story) of Give and Take
The sun was the ancient metaphor for God. The sun gives light and warmth unconditionally. Thus giving became associated with the sun.
The sun became associated with the masculine or assertive role in humanity (women play masculine roles too). There were two widely-used metaphors for the feminine — the earth and moon. The earth represented the feminine quality of absorbing the sun’s rays to creates new life (like human mating).
However, humans weren’t perfect like the sun; so the person playing the feminine role needed the ability to reflect masculine false love, beliefs, or thinking errors. You don’t want to be absorbing false thoughts. The moon was associated with emotions because when masculine thinking was wrongful, the feminine expressed or reflected emotions so the masculine could see his or her error and correct their mind. This was co-creation at its best in that it created a perfect feedback loop.
In the beginning, none of this was about outer relationships. Everyone has a masculine and feminine aspect to their own mind; life was about managing our inner relationship. In that way, outer relationships worked also.
Later, the focus moved to outer relationships, and we lost the rulebook for our minds. In relationship, one person or group plays the masculine role and the other plays the feminine based on who’s giving or asserting and who’s receiving (absorbing) or reflecting.
We play the masculine role when we sell something and the feminine role when we receive payment. We play the masculine role when we buy something followed by the feminine role when receiving our goods. We play the masculine role when we talk, the feminine role when we listen. Roles change all the time. Some roles are more permanent. A rider is masculine to their feminine horse. A guru is masculine to their feminine disciples.
It Gets All Screwed Up
When the masculine role is giving from pure intention with no beliefs (like the sun), then the feminine is peaceful, calm, and wise. Like a wife/mother, the feminine has the innate creativity and wisdom to absorb the sperm and grow a baby.
Being born helpless and feminine causes distortion within our minds. As children we always play the feminine role. As adults, we must learn to step into giving, masculine roles. Some adults don’t transition very well. They give what they received, which is great if they were loved; but usually they give the same beliefs and suffering they received. Adults often demand, manipulate, or play victim to get the love and attention they think they need or are entitled to. Few people have a pure masculine mind that matches the unconditional sun.
Undoing the Confusion
We’ve forgotten the original design of masculine and feminine roles, and replaced it with a warped notion of service based on fixing effects. We focus our attention on doing, and ignore our believing and thinking. Someone is sick; so we give them medicine, cut out their organs, and hold their hand. In the initiate’s world this was stupidity. In the modern illusion, the one giving the service is now a caretaker labeled caregiver. Doctors mostly function as caretakers that perpetuate disease for financial reward because they only fix effects. When you give someone beliefs or support their beliefs, you take their power. Caregiving means letting go of the belief in disease and freeing the person — not good for business.
The ancient people spoke of cursing. To cure someone, the shaman found the source of the belief that caused the illness — this was always an angry, jealous, or vengeful authority (words we also use for the false God). The shaman would threaten the authority until they let go of their illness-causing curse (belief). With the belief gone, the person healed.
Power struggles erupt between people when they hold beliefs about each other. In a true relationship, both people focus on letting go of their beliefs. Caregiving is about letting go and doing only what is inspired; caretaking means holding on to a belief, then doing something that appears to fix that belief for a benefit. Caretaking steals power from others while appearing to serve them.
True Self Perspective
Like everything else in the illusion, the mess didn’t start out that way. The True Self, as the perfect masculine (true leader), was the giver of care (pure thought directed outward); the feminine receiver of care became the care receiver or caretaker. Both roles were crucial for co-creation. The caretaker absorbed the caregiving like the earth if it was pure. They didn’t take the care if it was impure; they reflected it back to the caregiver who corrected their erroneous thinking.
When masculine and feminine roles were understood and applied, you never blamed the person playing the feminine role. Punishing the feminine was breaking your own mirror, which was why it deserved seven years of bad luck. Superstitions are just more level confusion.
True service is never about doing; it’s about giving pure thought. When our thinking is pure, our caregiving is pure. The caregiver and caretaker become one being — the perfect union where two become one.