Mentoring Others to Let Go

Letting Go

By Cathy Eck

 

Mentoring

As you travel along the path to freedom, you’re going to want to start mentoring others.  Here are a few things that I’ve learned about mentoring.  Freedom mentoring is unique; it works from the inside out.  Normal coaching, teaching, or healing work creates change within the illusion; it fixes the effect of the illusion.  That doesn’t mean that those services don’t have a place.  As long as the illusion exists, people will seek comfort within it.  But if your desire is to achieve and give freedom, you have to get truthful about what freedom mentoring looks like.  Even when someone says they’re removing bad energy, they aren’t moving the person to freedom.  Providing a better or more positive point of view isn’t movement toward freedom.

Freedom mentoring at its best is about letting go.  That’s it.  Unless people know how to remove their own causal false thoughts, they’ll simply recreate their problems in the same or different form.  Or, they’ll project them on to others.  Freedom mentoring is about eliminating the potential for all problems forever.  To be blunt, those who seriously seek freedom mentoring have generally had enough of fucking problems.  So there’s nothing and no one they won’t let go.  If the person hasn’t gotten to that point, they won’t go all the way to freedom.

Ultimately when we’ve received the complete gift of freedom, we no longer need healers, teachers, gurus, or therapists.  Thus, freedom mentoring is a temporary job.

 

Make Sure They Want To Let Go

Some people are thrilled with the notion of letting go.  Others are resistant to the idea.  False fear of loss is the biggest restriction to letting go.  If someone doesn’t want to let go, don’t force them.  We don’t need to recruit True Selves.  Everyone already has one.  Whether another lives from their True Self or covers it up is their free will.

If someone resists letting go but wants to be mentored, help them look for a payoff of their problem.  Often they’re getting attention for it, or even money.

I take responsibility for any fears, judgments, or beliefs I have about their resistance.  Often their will can be quite convincing that they’re a victim, their problem is normal, or there’s no cure.  They might tell you letting go doesn’t work.  They’ll often become highly defensive or angry.  They can look possessed — they are, by their own false self.  At this point, I let them know they can keep their belief, but they’re giving up freedom.  We don’t have the right to dominate another or force them to let go.  If we battle them, we drop into our false self.  Then two people are drowning in the illusion.

We can be of enormous assistance by simply remove any beliefs or fears about them from our own mind.  At the very least, they have one person in the world who sees them problem free.  Once you let go, speak whatever your inspired to speak, and trust in their own True Self to handle the rest of the process.

Our True Selves always do the work of letting go.  In mentoring, we’re remembering their True Self’s knowing and unconditional love.  The false self can’t survive such purity.

 

The Truth Will Set Them Free

Some people want to vent or tell their story.  They believe that will get it off their chest.  They don’t realize that each time they tell their story, they’re giving it more power.  They’re getting less free.  The false self always says that it’s giving us what it’s actually taking.  It lies.  It tells you that telling your story will free you when it actually takes your freedom from you.

Often people tell their story looking for attention or approval.  Sadly, we’re socially trained to offer support for such behavior.

If they’re open to your mentoring, ask them to tell the story one line at a time.  Then after each line of the story, ask them if that felt good.  Remind them that if it didn’t feel good, it wasn’t true.

This is where things get tricky.  The story looks true to them because it was their reality.  But it isn’t true, the truth always feels calm and unemotional.  Their reality was the effect of their past beliefs.  So by telling the story and recognizing that it all feels bad and it all occurred in the illusion, they often find the causal beliefs that they need to let go.

 

Traditional Bridgework

What if you work as a traditional healer, teacher, or coach?  In the beginning, you don’t have to do anything different with your clients except make sure you don’t believe them.  This feels odd at first.  It feels like you aren’t connecting with them.  But any treatment that you offer will work much better if you actually realize that nothing is wrong with them.

Edgar Cayce, the sleeping prophet, gave thousands of readings on health problems.  In his sleeping state, he was able to determine what the person in need of healing believed and recommend a solution that matched their beliefs.  In addition, to the salve, herb, drug, or physical treatment, he often recommended that they look to their mind and emotions for the cause.  At one point, he started a group geared toward connection with God.  The group asked him if they would achieve connection in this life, and he pretty much said no.  I suspect he determined in his sleeping state that they weren’t letting go; they were soothing their wounds and memorizing the truth.

As a mentor, truthfulness is key.  We must avoid telling people what they want to hear.  That requires letting go of our fear of rejection.  We must let go first and then follow our inspiration.  We must care about their freedom more than looking good or smart.  Mentoring others in this way rewards the mentor and the person being mentored — both grow closer to freedom.  It’s always win-win.

The False Self as a Container and Level Confusion

beliefs separate

By Cathy Eck

 

We Are One

One of the most dangerous beliefs to come out of the New Age Movement is, “We are One.”  It’s hard to understand why this statement is dangerous because it’s true.  However, it’s only true at the True Self level.  When we put True Self thinking on top of false self beliefs, we create serious level confusion.  Our false self usually projects an opponent that we abhor, and we can’t escape them because our false mind thinks we’re one with them.

The last thing we want is oneness with other false selves.  If our false self believes in oneness, it will also become one with other people’s confusion, pain, or suffering; or it will take responsibility for things that we didn’t create.

Once we understand that our false selves weren’t designed to be one with other false selves, the process of letting go gets much easier and faster.  The false self is like a creative container.  In order to create anything, we do need some beliefs.  We hold the beliefs we need in our false self container while we create or co-create; then when we’re done with that creative act, we erase the container and start over.  This was called remaining a mental virgin in the ancient world.

Beliefs were never meant to be permanent.  The True Self holds that which is permanent or immortal; it can’t be erased.  Therefore, letting go of the belief in oneness is totally safe; and it can be life changing.

 

Mind As Computer

The computer is a near perfect analogy for our minds.  When we buy a computer, it comes with an operating system.  Everyone gets an  operating system.  You could say that computers are the same at birth.  But the operating system doesn’t do much; it only provides creative potential.  Likewise, our True Self is our mind’s operating system.  It provides the potential, but we need beliefs or programs to create.

Once we take over creative responsibility for our computer, we load programs, many of which we share with other users.  These popular programs could be likened to cultural or religious beliefs.  If we enjoy a particular program, we’ll want to study it or talk about it with others.  We might take classes in that program or join a user’s group.  We might not want to ever delete that program, but we can.  And, most important, we don’t have the right to sneak into another person’s office and install our program on their computer.  We must honor the privacy of  others and leave their hard drive alone.  Our passion is meant to fuel our own creativity — not to become an evangelist for our programs.

After loading programs, we add data, sound, and images that are uniquely our own.  In a short period of time, we won’t find another computer exactly like ours in all the world.  We can’t let go of the operating system or True Self because that would destroy our creative capacity.  But we have complete control over our hard drive (our false self).  We can add or delete programs and data as necessary depending on what we want to create and who we want to co-create with.

 

Back to The Mind

The data or programs we load into our false mind create uniqueness.  If we chose our programs carefully for creative purposes, we’ll love the focus and potential that our false mind provides.  We won’t feel separate from others because our True Self has oneness handled.  In addition, we’ll easily erase the beliefs when our creative focus changes.

But if we didn’t choose our programs, we’ll lack creative uniqueness.  We’ll only be able to copy others.  We’ll find it difficult or impossible to erase our hard drive.   We’ll fear that erasing the shared programs or data will produce loneliness (when the exact opposite is true).  Our perfect creative tool has now become a high security prison where the prisoners make sure that no one escapes.

If we’ve had controlling people in our life who thought they owned our hard drive, we’ll fear the programs (beliefs) of others.  We’ll fear that everyone wants to take over our hard drive.  When we fear that another can do such a thing, they do.  This is a huge problem in the world today.  Everyone is afraid of everyone else’s beliefs.  They keep trying to strengthen their firewall (boundaries) with more beliefs and programs.  They don’t realize that in order to fear another’s belief system, they have to hold it in mind.  If we let their beliefs go from our mind, we lose our fear of them.  Our immortal True Self provides far better protection than even the best program.

 

False Self Example

If my friend and I share a belief in hard work, and I delete my belief, her mental container remains unaffected.  I can’t delete beliefs from her mind.  But now I’m leading an easy life while she’s still working herself to death.  She could let go of her belief and join me, but she’s proud of her hard work ethic.  She gets approval for her martyrdom.  From her veiled perspective, I might look lazy or like I’m cheating at life.  I’m now her enemy.

The false self bonds or creates the illusion of oneness using beliefs.  It looks for like-minded people for comfort and security.  It wants other prisoners around it to validate its false rightness.  It feels lonely without like-minded support.

After letting go, we’re often tempted to turn back because those we care about believe we’ve abandoned, rejected or hurt them.  But we must keep letting go until we clear our mind completely and rediscover the place where WE REALLY ARE ALL ONE  — the place of no borders.  We didn’t abandon or reject them; they’re creating their own painful separation by holding on.  Once our own mind is free and our judgment gone, we can hold out our hand.  And often they reach up, grab on, and let go.  Now, WE ARE ONE.

 

Blinded by Our Culture

Cuenca on a dark rainy night

By Cathy Eck

 

Exposing Beliefs

Once we embark on the journey of initiation, our True Self exposes our beliefs.  If we follow our inspiration and commit to let go (not learn or escape), we’ll reach the destination.  Until we let go, however, places and situations can feel like impossible tests.  Ecuador continues to deliver exactly what I need.

I stay in a small B&B.  Since I’ve arrived, the hostess has been pleasant; but she constantly leaves out important details.  For example, a couple of weeks ago, she took me and two other guests to the mall, which is far from our home.  When we arrived, I asked her where and when we should meet her for the drive back.  She said, “Oh I can’t take you home.”  Fortunately, one member of our group knew the bus back to town.

When she picked me up at the airport, she was late.  This was disturbing because I no longer had phone service.  Then we went to get in her car — I thought.  Instead we got in a cab.  We stayed at a hotel, took a few more cabs, had a meal, and then took a transportation service that was right next to the airport.  I felt like my wallet was being raped.  What could have been a fourteen dollar ride to her house cost me about $80 in cabs, food, transport services, and hotel rooms.

Everyone in the house has had the same experience.  It would be easy to believe that we’re all just victims of her chaotic world.  As guests, we’re playing a feminine role in HER home.  This triggers our feelings of powerlessness.  It nearly always feels impossible to let go when we’re in a feminine role, but it isn’t.

 

No Victims

I’m never one to accept victimhood so I first let go of memories of lying by omission.  I’d often felt confused when people didn’t tell me the whole story, and I could only resolve my confusion when they finally told the truth.  That wasn’t good enough anymore.  I wanted letting go to take me to the place where people would always tell me everything I needed to know.

In every case, they didn’t think lying by omission was wrong.  In fact, they often felt they were sparing me pain.  There’s no “Thou shalt not lie or omit details,” in the Ten Commandments.

My mind kept telling me that I was stuck.  Lying or omission is a way to claim the false masculine role; the person lied too can’t get the upper hand because they’re fighting a ghost.

One morning, when my hostess once again forgot to mention a very important detail, I decided to speak with her.  Perhaps I could learn to understand her.  There was so much pain in the conversation that I had tears running down my eyes the whole time.

She was certain that she’d done nothing wrong.  “You chose to live in a typical Ecuadorian household; now you want to change me.”  I assured her that I didn’t.  “I’m a Christian woman; I don’t hurt people.”  I assured her that I understood her religion and realized she had good intentions.  This went on and on….

 

Culture

For some reason, my old business mind kicked in to save me.  “Let’s pull up your ad on the internet.  Let’s rewrite your ad as your guests see it.  This isn’t about your intention, your culture, or you; it’s about truthful marketing,” I said.  I spontaneously rewrote her ad giving her our painfully honest view of reality in her home.  Then, I said to her, “Is that ad really the ad of a Christian, typical Ecuadorian woman?”  I’d removed her mind from her cultural and religious beliefs; now she could see.

Her omission was the effect, not the cause.  She was constantly living from beliefs that she considered to be normal, cultural, or religious.  It is the old, “If everyone does it, it must be okay.”  Pride in her culture and religion kept her destructive beliefs in tact and even labeled her good for holding on to them.  Pride is one of the deadliest of tricks to keep us trapped in the illusion.

I reflected back to an earlier time when I confronted another person who lied by omission.  I also asked him why?  He said, “Everyone lies.  If you don’t, you won’t get what you want.”  Lying wasn’t bad to him either; it was necessary.  What he didn’t realize was that he was the only person I’d ever lied to.  I couldn’t help myself around him, but I hated myself for doing it.

My hostess saw herself as handling normal problems and circumstances that were typical for her religion and culture.  She knew nothing else.  For thousands of years, these traditions haven’t worked — they’ve only managed to veil our True Self.  The deeper the religion and culture in a family, organization, or country, the greater the chaos.  There are simply more beliefs to work around — think Middle East.

People will either live in apathy regarding their prison cell or decorate it and call it home.  It’s a rare one that escapes.

 

The Gift

Suddenly, I realized the gift of this experience.  My Spanish is poor.  When I talk to her, I’m thinking and listening very hard.  I’m focused on her words so I’m not feeling.  Being in a country where you can’t understand the language is a lot like being a child.  It takes us back to those moments when we didn’t know what people were saying or the rules of the world; but we did want the approval and love or our parents or other authorities.

So we innocently listened, trusted, and obeyed.  Sadly, some of those we trusted didn’t tell us the whole truth about life.  We fell into their world.  We accepted their beliefs as true, and we felt that we could not change their mind.  We believed that their religion or culture was true because we didn’t realize that they were blinded by it.

 

 

Why Reading About the Truth Doesn’t Get You To Freedom

Finding the truth by reading with discrimination

By Cathy Eck

 

Stuffed Full of Knowledge

From the time we’re born, we’re trained to learn from others — to stuff knowledge and information in to our mind.  So it seems logical that learning or reading about truth or freedom would cause us to find freedom.  But when we stuff more knowledge into our already crowded minds, we get a memorized version of the truth.  Reading about how to get free doesn’t make us free.  Talking about freedom doesn’t get us there.  Taking purposeful actions or rituals that demonstrate our knowledge of freedom doesn’t free us.

That’s why Jesus said to pray in private.  Initiation is a private thing that we all essentially do alone.  If we don’t find freedom through the mind by discriminating and letting go of our false beliefs, we’ll just believe the illusion again and again.

Telling you that reading doesn’t do the job when I’m a writer isn’t good for business.  But it happens to be the truth.  I write to make the journey to freedom faster, easier, and less lonely; I want to prompt you to let go.  Ultimately, I want to lose you as a reader or client because you’ve arrived.

The process of letting go perfects our discrimination so we can’t ever fall again.  The knowing and freedom that come from the process of letting go is pure.  We get our own insights.  We find our own unique perspective of truth.  Once we find freedom in this way, we won’t ever lose it.  Thus, free ones were considered immortal because death to the initiate was believing the illusion.

 

Freedom 

Ideally, we’d hear the truth, wake up to freedom, and live happily after.  However, our false minds have controlled our life and our bodies for a long time.  Our false self is a worthy opponent.  And, let me tell you, false selves love when we layer truth on top of it’s bullshit because it knows we won’t be letting go anytime soon.  Our mask will be shining too brightly.  When we layer truth on top of falsehood, we project the falsehood on to others so that we have a strong air of superiority and confidence.  We’re positive and their negative; we’re good and their bad.  We’re right and their wrong.

One must remember that the term con man came from the notion of the confidence man.  He looks like a True Self, speaks like a True Self, acts like a True Self, but he isn’t a True Self.  All of our problems in the world come from our inability to discriminate between the con man or woman and the True Self; this is especially true when we read.  We’re trained as young children to believe what we read, to hold on to it by memorizing it, and to be able to spit it back on command.  We’re trained to become con artists ourselves as we come to think our knowledge and expertise is who we really are.  Once we recognize this, we start to see through the trap of reading and learning.

Since we’ve been trained to believe we can’t let go, new information we read or learn goes on top of old information.   The old beliefs go into a mental storage vault that psychologists label the unconscious.  If we don’t like the info in our vault, we’ll often see it in others as projection.  We’ll think our job is to fix them.  But our real job is to empty our own vault.

In truth, there’s NO such thing as an unconscious mind.  We see the world that we hold within our mind.  If we’re bothered by something we see, hear, or read, our emotions remind us to let go.  Our emotions let us know that we’re contributing to the problem that we see in another or in the world with our beliefs.  When we let go, we either won’t notice the problem anymore or we’ll comfortably expose it and drain it of its power.  We won’t be inclined to fix it or treat it as real or true.

 

Reading and Learning

For a long time, reading was my escape.  I felt good when I read things that validated how I wanted the world to be.  But at some point, I realized that the reading wasn’t changing me at the core.  It was changing my facade.  It changed my conscious mind but didn’t clear out my unconscious.   I had to find out how to let go of my false mind, my unconscious.  That was the answer for me because I didn’t just want the truth, I wanted to eliminate my inner falsehood.  I wanted freedom.

People often ask me for recommended books to read, and I rarely answer their question.  Reading on the path to freedom isn’t about learning or putting more facts or truth in our mind.  It’s about provoking us to let go.  It’s about exposing beliefs that hold us away from freedom.  I can’t say what book will do that for you; but you’re True Self knows.

Treat reading as anything else.  Trust your inner initiator and read what you’re inspired to read.  But always read with your body, not your intellect.  Feel as you read so that you can notice when memories, beliefs, or emotions arise.  When they do, stop and follow them to the cause.  Let go of whatever arises in your mind.  In this way, reading helps expose our beliefs.  Reading decreases the size of our false mind.  Reading provokes letting go.

If you find yourself feeling validated or inspired by what you’re reading, ask yourself what belief was validated.  If you find yourself sad, angry, or depressed, look for the causal belief.  Once people start reading this way, they all say the same thing.  “All that stuff I used to think was so amazing and inspiring, now looks empty.”  Likewise, they’ll often find insights and truth in strange places.  They’ve stopped hoarding beliefs and knowledge and have begun to find their own true wisdom.