No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part I)

Fish in a Bowl -- victim

By Cathy Eck

 

The hardest thing for people to let go is victimhood.  Victims appear stuck in feminine roles.  Victims always look outward for perpetrators instead of inward to the real cause.  When I convince a victim to let go of the cause within their own mind, their outer perpetrator loses power.  The perpetrator had power because they believed the perpetrator’s beliefs.

 

Reality

We all begin life in a feminine role.  We lack authority and power.  A baby requires someone in a masculine role to care for them.  Consequently, we all associate the feminine role with the powerlessness of childhood.  Our bodies mature, but our minds revert to childhood whenever we’re cast into feminine roles.  We believe we’re powerless — unable to get what we need or want.  We blame the person we think should fulfill our desire, instead of the person who gave us our beliefs.  The illusion survives by making sure victims don’t find or blame the true cause of their victimhood.  In fact, the victim usually  thinks their perpetrator is good or God.

Victims accept false feminine roles in order to look good by flawed standards.   The president declares war on his own enemies and enjoys drinking Dom Perignon while martyrs fight his battles because they believe sacrifice is good.  Billionaires can hire underpaid slaves to do their work because slaves believe hard work is virtuous.  Clergy pass the donation basket and minions drop their last dollar for words that aren’t worth two cents because they believe the Bible is the word of God.  Victims keep illusory machines running; they’re like moths to a flame.  They’re taught that good people sacrifice, work hard, and give when they have nothing to give.  They’re so blindly obedient that they can’t see the flame that’s burning them alive.

 

Win-Lose

I began to question the way life works when I worked for one of the biggest consulting firms in the world in my twenties.  If you’ve seen the movie, “The Wolf of Wall Street,” it’s no exaggeration.  I saw all of that and more.  The wolves see life as a win-lose game; they’re simply good players.  In their mind, if you suck at the game of life, it isn’t their fault.  They view victims as poor losers who give up too easily.  Wolves lie because it works.  They hire cheap labor because people take the jobs. 

During this same time period, I married into a nice Italian Catholic family of sheep.  I lived the life of working and partying all week with the wolves; then I’d visit family and eat communion wafers, hear the same old shit stories over and over again, and watch the same boring rituals and traditions.  They saw life through a lens of good and evil.  They were good and moral.  They saw the wolves I worked for as evil and immoral.   

couldn’t reconcile these two sides of my life.  I didn’t want either.   The wolves partied too much and were never satisfied.   They thought money would buy them freedom and joy, and it never did.  I wanted to be good, but I didn’t want the boredom, misery, and victimhood of sheep.  Clearly, neither had the truth.

 

The Key

Wolves simply do what works in the win-lose illusion.  The wolves respected me because I’d call them on their game — they couldn’t trick me.  Wolves don’t feel immoral anymore than an athlete feels immoral when they win.  They don’t create sheep.  They simply give sheep what they’re asking for — a perpetrator.  

On the other hand, sheep work hard to create more sheep by imposing their beliefs on others, especially children.  They tell others that they’re bad when they’re being their True Self or when they succeed.  They cause people to doubt and ignore their emotions.  They demand blind obedience and won’t answer why questions.  Sheep have power tools — guilt, shame, blame, and fear.  

Sheep told me that I needed to learn to be happy while I suffered.  I couldn’t do that.  Once I got truly happy, the problem causing the suffering vanished.  They were clearly doing something unnatural and making it right, but they said I was a failure at suffering.  WTF?  Their perspective is like Pin the Tail on the Donkey.  They blindfold you, spin you around until you’re dizzy, and then wonder why you can’t find the donkey’s ass.  They eventually break your spirit.  Only then will they say you’re good.  

 

Win-Win

I left the wolves’ den to start my own business, and I found my sweet spot.  If I dealt in win-win terms and worked on my own mind instead of using my will and tricking and manipulating the sheep, I could achieve success without harming others.  I didn’t need to be a wolf.  I shared this with my fellow wolves, and they all joined me.  They were only tricking sheep because they thought they had to.

The positive thinking and new thought movements were attempts by ex-wolves to enlighten sheep.  They revealed the rules of the win-lose game to make things fair.  They put out books like “Think and Grow Rich.”  But giving the sheep the rules of the win-lose game didn’t change anything.  Sheep are stuck in the good and evil game.  They don’t want wolves to go away, they need someone to view as evil.  So many of the wolves said, “Fuck you.  You want wolf.  I’ll show you fucking wolf.”

The wolves had extended the olive branch.  They proved that sheep aren’t victims of wolves in wolves clothing  — we’re born with emotional lie detector systems.  The sheep are victims of wolves in sheep’s clothing — religious and spiritual wolves masked as sheep (masculine roles behaving as if they’re feminine) who teach sheep to turn off their emotional lie detection, blindly obey authority, and ignore their True Self.   Without this psychological reversal, wolves would be powerless.   Sadly, sheep follow shepherds who feed them to the wolves, and the sheep glorify the shepherds for doing it.  .

To be continued…

 

Are They Authentic or Just a Perfect Persona?

Manure Pile and beliefs

By Cathy Eck

 

Authentic or Bullshit

My dad sends me some really stupid emails — I tell him that all the time.  But he was a nuclear engineer; so he thinks that he’s making conversation when he forwards an email.  Besides it gives me things to write about.

He recently sent me a copy of a discussion between two people who were trying to decide who was more authentic, George W. Bush or Barack Obama.  That’s pretty much like trying to decide whether a dog or a cat is more insect like.  It’s a useless discussion with no potential resolution or benefit.  But it brings up an interesting point:  How do we know if someone is authentic?

The truth is that the biggest liars have become quite accomplished at looking authentic.  Clear communication, lack of emotion, and happiness are qualities of the True Self, but they’re also qualities of highly perfected personas.

On the other hand, while we’re purifying our mind, we often get highly emotional when someone says something false, causing us to look like the flawed one.  Eventually, we reach a place where we know that anything false is powerless so we don’t need our emotions to explode like atom bombs.  But it’s always that awkward phase in between that gets us in trouble.

It seems that this has been a common problem throughout time.  Even Plato discussed it in his discourses on the legendary lost continent of Atlantis.  He said that those in power had too much “mortal admixture.”  The masses couldn’t tell who was truthful from those who had selfish intentions.  This caused the destruction of the continent.  We’re in the very same place today.

 

Knowing a True Self

In truth, we can only know if we’re authentic.  That’s the best use of our time and energy.  When we know our mind, we know when someone else’s thoughts enter.  We feel our emotions more easily.  We can catch and deflect the projections that those poker-faced personalities send our way.   I’ve discovered that as I clean out my mind, it’s easier to discern if another is being authentic or just blowing some sweet-smelling smoke.  Of course, they don’t like being exposed, but we’ll save that for another post.

I used to wonder if we all signed some sort of pact a few thousand years ago that said, “I won’t expose your false self if you don’t expose mine.”  Then I realized that a pact isn’t necessary.  When we hold lots of beliefs in our mind, we don’t catch the lies of others until it’s far too late because we can’t distinguish our thoughts from their thoughts.  That’s why the first exercise I give to people I mentor is to start watching their own mind 24/7.

People, who benefit from the illusion, support social skills where we focus on and care what others think instead of what we think.  That way we become gullible targets for those wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Our false selves have been highly trained to look at what people do.  We see a person hug a baby, and we think they’re nice.  Someone gives a vet a job, and they’re good.  But Charles Manson could hug a baby; he could also give a vet a job.  People who do things for show aren’t stupid; they know what to do to get the biggest bang for their buck.  They know how to work the collective mind.

Our false selves need validation.  The two people having the discussion, in my dad’s forwarded email, each thought that their favorite politician was authentic because they sounded like them.  False selves are insecure; they seek constant support.  That’s why our false self love to gossip or judge others.  A common enemy feels like power and mutual support.  The false self has to constantly support its position of rightness, or it will realize that it’s wrong.

 

What’s the lesson?

We must remember the reason that we have emotions.  They’re not to determine good and evil or right and wrong people.  They’re to decide if the particular belief or thought, which is our point of focus right now, is true or false.  Our emotions are actually highly impersonal — they are simply very good lie detectors.

If someone says, “All dogs of Republicans should have blue hair and Democratic dogs should have pink hair,”  we notice how their statement feels.  If it feels bad, it simply means don’t believe them.  It doesn’t mean color-coded dogs are bad or wrong for the believer; it means they aren’t right for us.  Our True Self is giving the thumbs down to their statement.  That’s all.

Somewhere along the way, most of us fell for the trap that we aren’t being nice if we expose someone’s belief as a belief.  We’re bad if we don’t support their false self.  In truth, we’re truly good (with no hidden opposite) only when we don’t support false selves.  Being nice to false selves keeps the illusion running.  Our false self should embarrass us, not get us approval.  We were designed by our cosmic designer to discriminate; we were given emotions to keep our minds pure.

When we realize that beliefs have NO power of their own, we easily ignore them.  We don’t fear beliefs of others, nor do we condone them.  Whether the person is authentic or not doesn’t matter that much.  We stop judging false selves when we see them as powerless; we just ignore them or correct them.  Life gets much easier.

The key to living an authentic life is to drop our own false self.  Then we can live in the world, among the most crazy false selves, and not fall into their trap.  We can even play in their world for a bit, and then exit when we’ve had enough.  In short, we no longer need to worry about whether someone else is authentic, because we’ve got our own authentic best friends with us all the time — our True Self and our emotional lie detector.