Roles: When the Feminine Pretends to be Masculine

Masculine or Feminine

By Cathy Eck

 

Confusion of Roles

Roles become very confusing when they’re not played as designed.  I’ve written about the masculine who pretends to be feminine — an authority figure who projects out an enemy, like Bush/Obama projecting Osama Bin Laden and Muslim extremism.  The leader pretends to be a victim of their own evil projection.  They want support/service/sacrifice from followers in order to slay the evil dragon.  If the followers succeed, the leader becomes a hero.  It’s a very old archetype.

This leader needs blindly obedient followers to slay his dragon.  We see such a person in the movie, “American Sniper,”  the true story of Chris Kyle, known as “The Legend” for his large number of kills.  Controversy has erupted over whether Chris Kyle was a hero or a predator.   Both labels are right in the illusion; both put Kyle at the bottom of the triangle.  If there’s a real enemy, then he’s a hero.  If there’s no enemy, then he’s a predator in the illusion.

Soldier is a strange role.  We believe a soldier is highly masculine.  Just try not to think of masculinity while watching Bradley Cooper play Chris Kyle.  It’s difficult!  However, soldier is actually a feminine role; soldiers salute, take orders, and blindly obey authority.  They’re feminine to the higher rank (who are feminine to their superior).  Soldiers only become masculine when they kill.  As observers, we get tricked by this role shift because we’re trained to look with physically-oriented eyes.

 

Roles Clarified

The original definition of roles made sense.  The masculine role followed the ideal of the sun and unconditionally gave.  The feminine role unconditionally received (like the moon or earth).  A person in a true masculine role would only think or speak the truth.  Their feminine side would be calm and receive original, creative ideas.

But a false masculine projects an illusion based on beliefs, which creates a fantasy, horror, or drama.  Those who are feminine followers to the false masculine leader, and honor their belief system, are no longer creating their OWN life.  Consequently, they’re either highly emotional or highly suppressed.  Only the person at the top of the pyramid — the supreme handler — has the script.  For most people, that supreme leader/handler is the false God — the imaginary leader of the illusion.  His constitution is the Old Testament.

 

Feminine Pretends to be Masculine

Remember, the false leader is an authority holding a masculine role but pretending to be feminine, a victim of someone or something outer.  This false leader pretends to be innocent; but that’s because we’re trained to ignore the fact that they projected their OWN enemy.

Any follower of a false masculine is playing a feminine role.  Look closely at Chris Kyle.  If you take out his back story, he appears to be a macho man — an expert marksman —  a killer of evil extraordinaire  — a hero.  But the movie, “American Sniper,” doesn’t ignore the back story.  He’s not masculine at all.  He’s feminine pretending to be masculine.  

Kyle’s story starts at birth, not at enlistment.  His dad rewarded him for his shooting skills as a young child.  He wanted dad’s approval and ignored his strong emotional signal screaming that killing wasn’t right.   He lived in Texas and attended a Fundamentalist church.  He quickly became feminine to his dad and religious authorities.  His dad tells him that he’s a protector, like a sheep dog; he buys the label because it sounds good.  By the time 9/11 occurred, he was one angry dude with a feminine, obedient mind.  From the physical perspective, he was masculine.  But from the mental perspective, he was completely feminine.

We fall into this quicksand because we confuse the physical and mental perspectives.  The True Self lives in the mental realm; the false self is physically focused.  From the mental, True Self perspective, we are NEVER an authority over another.  We can lead others for a common purpose, but we can’t be their ultimate authority.

Anyone who believes in the false God, is an expert of knowledge, or teaches information that has been pre-chewed by those in the illusion has a feminine mind.  Their position of authority doesn’t change their mindset.  They aren’t harmful unless we make them our authority.  I might take a class in Photoshop from a Photoshop expert to become a better user.  I’m glad s/he exists because the knowledge is useful; but I don’t let him/her tell me what to do with Photoshop.

Many people notice that the highest leaders appear to be feminine to some hidden hand, which is called God by some and the illuminati or big business by others.  If we could dissect the authority’s mind, however, I think we’d find that they’re actually following mom and dad’s illusion most of the time.

 

Level Confusion in Roles

When we follow any other human, we enter their fallen perspective because only our false self is outer directed.  A true leader will always point us back inside.  They won’t take our power even if we insist on giving it to them.

The calm demeanor of false leaders is often mistaken for the calmness of the True Self.  But false calmness is actually the result of the leader’s ability to project emotions on to followers.  We see the leader’s true colors when we refuse to serve their cause or fight their enemy.  The false masculine leader blames, guilts, and shames until we accept their beliefs and do their dirty work.  The say they’ll lead us to the promised land, but they actually spin us around in the desert forever.

To unravel this mess, we must clean up our own mind.  We have both of these false masculine characters within our false mind resting at the bottom of the triangle; often they’ve brought us rewards.  Sometimes, we fear the responsibility of leading our OWN life.  We fear making mistakes or not having answers.  But the only authority that is fair, harmless, and doesn’t err is our own True Self.  No one else can offer us better advice.

 

 

 

The True Masculine Role (How It Looks)

Leading

By Cathy Eck

 

It’s hard to explain the power of the True Masculine role, mostly because there aren’t many good examples.  The masculine role is the role that has fallen; and it took the feminine right along with it.  Sadly, the fallen masculine leader tries to fix the feminine, its own reflection, instead of looking in and fixing the cause in its own mind.  This keeps everyone stuck.

 

Know your Role

The first step to owning the True Masculine Role in your own mind and life is to always know your role in any situation.  I’ve written plenty about that.  Sometimes the role is obvious.  But sometimes, it isn’t.

For example, in two people of equal status, the one speaking is the in masculine role; the listener is feminine.  We also have tricky ways of getting into the masculine role.  If we see the world as positive and negative, the most positive person will tend to have the masculine role or higher status.  In a spiritual or religious group, the good person will take the lead.  In the illusion, the one who’s right or wins takes the Grand Puba position.  Conscious of this or not, we’re always looking to get that coveted masculine role.

If we can’t win fairly, we might trick the person into giving up their power; or the relationship might be one long power struggle.  Nothing is off-limits in the illusion.  It’s all about the drama.

 

True Masculine

The True Masculine is like the sun — unconditional, expressive, and giving.  Giving is key; too many men want the masculine role so they can receive.  That’s not how it works.  In the True Masculine, there’s no hidden agendas — no masks.  We don’t need a mask to give, to express our True Self.  We only need a mask when we want someone to give to us who doesn’t want to.  Then we’re weasels wearing the mask of a good person.

A religious leader is giving a sermon on obeying God.  They’re a false leader.  They’re looking at the congregation and saying, “You need fixing.  You’re all disobedient.”  But wait, he’s in the masculine role; if he’s seeing disobedience, guess where it is — in his OWN mind.

The husband looks at his wife and sees a bitch.  The question he must ask is what beliefs is he holding about her.  She’s the reflection; he’s got the cause in his mind.  Or perhaps he’s not giving her unconditional love; he’s trying to get attention, sex, his way.  In the illusion, the feminine role reflects what you give.  You give shit; you get shit back.  Deal with it.

The mother looks at her child and thinks he’s lazy.  No, he’s not.  She’s holding her hard work ethic as true when it’s just a belief.  The child is showing her what she fears — who she would be if she didn’t put on her show as a hard worker.

The false masculine fixes the effect of their mental projection, and then sends the projection a bill or punishment.  The reflection always has a WTF look on their face.  I write this blog primarily for those in feminine roles with WTF looks.  But they will escape one day; and then I hope they’ll use what they learned to become the True Masculine that they never knew.  Revenge is never sweet.

 

Hints for Success in the Masculine Role

1)  Shut the fuck UP!  I mean that.  Just let go of what you see in the other that you don’t like or is false.  When we’re in the masculine role, we have the power.  We also love to spew our knowledge all over the place.  But the wisdom is in the feminine role.  We don’t need to train the feminine to follow our rules or think like us, we just need to stop projecting on them.

2)  FEEL!  What you’re thinking about the person in the feminine role does generate emotion in YOU.  You’ll feel it if you stop thinking — get out of your head.

3)  WIN-WIN!  Notice that if they accept your way of thinking, you’ll win or be right, but they’ll lose.  When a True Masculine leads, everybody wins…and I mean everybody, everywhere.

4)  Stop thinking about the other.  Stop giving status reports or reasons.  Stop prophesying what you believe the person will do next.  Just watch your own mind, and let go of what’s false, which is probably everything.  If you have to, lock yourself in a closet.

 

It’s a Dance…

When I was in my twenties, I went to New York City a lot for business.  I always went dancing after work (and drinking).  One night, Teddy, a really chubby, short guy with super thick glasses and the worst hair, came up and asked me to dance.  Teddy asked a lot of girls to dance, but no one said, “Yes.”  I wasn’t looking for a man; I was married.  So I wasn’t sizing up his looks like the single girls.  When I hit the floor, I had one of those American Idol moments when Simon Cowell would go “Holy Shit.”  This guy was an amazing dancer.  He was smooth and light.  But he was also a very powerful leader.  Under his lead, I didn’t need to think — I could just reflect.  I seriously “had the time of my life.”  For the first time, I realized the awesomeness of being cast in a pure feminine role with a True Masculine in the lead.  Reflecting can be really fun.

Every time I went to New York, I’d go dancing with Teddy.  Eventually, we both changed jobs and lost touch.  But I’ll never forgot what it felt like to dance with someone who not only knew he could dance, but also knew that I could dance.  That’s the best analogy that I’ve ever found for the True Masculine.  S/he not only has self-confidence and self-trust, but they have confidence and trust in those who are feminine to them.  They see everyone else as their reflection; and their reflection is perfect.

 

Life Lessons of The Shawshank Redemption

Shawshank Redemption

By Cathy Eck

 

I’m Not Obsessed With Much, But…

This is my 100th post, and so it had to be special — it had to be about Shawshank Redemption.  You don’t have to read my blog for very long before you find a Shawshank Redemption quote.  My Leadership Coaching program is based on lessons found in Shawshank.  Shawshank Redemption is a near perfect story; I love it.

Today I had an opportunity to attend a screenwriting webinar analyzing the Shawshank Redemption.  How’s that for perfect timing?

Without knowing it, screenwriters often see through the illusion because the illusion is also based on the three-act story.  Almost every good story follows this blueprint or arc.  We unconsciously identify with it when we see it on the big screen or in the pages of a novel.

Every human starts in Eden or the realm of the True Self.  Then we fall into the hypnotic illusion of the material realm, and finally we work our way back out to freedom.  We become our True Selves again.

It seems like a stupid trip to take since you end up where you started.  But the person who arrives at the end of this three-act journey is not the same person who began it.  They now have vision, knowing, and stability that they didn’t have when their journey began.

 Red: “It takes a strong man to save himself, and a great man to save another.”

 

We All Have a Fall Story

Everyone has a True Self that doesn’t fall.  The false self takes root pretty quickly; our parents usually make sure of that.  It’s our false self that has the storyline that causes us to forget who we really are.  Stories were originally invented by astrologers based on our date and place of birth; now they come from Hollywood and religion.

Andy Dufresne had the perfect life, or so it seemed — hot wife, great job, nice house, club membership. It looks like he’s living in paradise; but he’s not.  He doesn’t have freedom or love; he’s stuck in his myopic fallen illusion.  He’s winning, but winners are often more stuck in the illusion than losers.  They have to give up their winnings to get free; that often seems like too high of a price to pay.

None of this is conscious to Andy, so his wife reflects it for him by seeking freedom and love in another man. Like most women (or children) who reflect the men in their life, she’s just being his mirror and probably doesn’t even know why she’s doing what she’s doing.

So like most men (or people in the masculine role); Andy thinks he’s a victim of his wife and her lover.  He believes that his anger is because of their actions.  He wants to get revenge and break his own mirror; but fortunately, he doesn’t.

Later on in the story, Andy takes a big step toward freedom when he realizes that he caused his wife to cheat, in a way he killed her.

Andy: She was beautiful. God I loved her. I just didn’t know how to show it, that’s all. I killed her, Red. I didn’t pull the trigger, but I pushed her away. And that’s why she died, because of me.

 

Like Andy, we must all realize that we are the writer, director and producer of our three-act illusory play.  We can’t change it until we take responsibility.  It’s taking responsibility that puts the letting go eraser in our hand. Responsibility gives us the power to rewrite our story.

 

Beautiful Women

To most people, putting up posters of beautiful women sounds kind of like male lust.  But metaphorically; it’s perfect.  Andy hides his secret tunnel to freedom behind pictures of beautiful women.

Initiates knew that the way out of the illusion was through the feminine.  Initiates followed their own feminine emotions to show them what to let go — to point to the causal beliefs within their own mind.  You can’t find freedom by denying what you feel. Thus Andy hides his secret tunnel to freedom behind pictures of beautiful women.  Each night Andy chips away at the cell wall (his false beliefs) that lies beneath his feminine (emotions).

The Greeks put Athena in the Parthenon. The Egyptians dedicated temples to Isis.  Babylonians had Ishtar. America’s Congressional building is topped with Freedom (female). The female Statue of Liberty greets immigrants to America.  The path to freedom is feminine.

 

The Rebirth

Andy eventually escapes by crawling through a sewage pipe, a damn good metaphor for the small, dark birth canal; he pops out looking like a newborn.  He’s free, but he’s really dirty.

Red: Andy Dufresne – who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.

The story demonstrates that if we want to free our body, we must first liberate our mind.  It’s an old teaching that most have completely forgotten.

Most people use their minds to keep themselves in prison — a life sentence without parole.  They put art deco on the cell walls and flowers in the urinal and call it Home, Sweet Home.  It looks like acceptance of their destiny; but it’s really apathy.

Andy didn’t have apathy.  Regardless of what happened on the outside, Andy knew he was innocent.  Apathy occurs because someone else has convinced us that we deserve punishment because we broke their bullshit rules.  We wait patiently for them to give us back our innocence.   They never do.

Andy knew he was innocent. Therefore, Andy had real hope that redemption was possible, even when it looks improbable.

Red: I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.

 

To be continued…