By Cathy Eck
This is a continuation of Part I so you might want to read that first by clicking here.
You now understand that rules and beliefs work together. You recognize that anyone who either promotes a rule, makes a rule, or obeys a rule is not being their True Self. Like me, you probably recognize that you have a pretty big rulebook to let go.
Getting Stuck Versus Gaining Freedom
We are born with no rules; as True Selves we would do nothing that was not win-win. To get stuck in the illusion, we accept the concept of good and evil, right and wrong, or win and lose. We accept that humans are imperfect or even bad. Then we borrow beliefs and rules that support those premises and build our rulebook.
Our rulebook is a unique blend of our religion, our parental influence, our community, and our culture. Our role and birth order in our family will make a difference in our book of rules. Our choice of activities, dreams, and personality will all go into making our custom rulebook for life. Since the rules often came loaded with fear, promises of punishment, or threats of hell, we keep that rulebook firmly in our mind like we are guarding a treasure chest.
The True Self operates based on true and false. It accepts only the truth, and it lets go of that which is false. Since all rules and beliefs are false, the goal of initiation is to get back to our True Self and drop our entire rulebook. But you don’t have to drop them all right away. Start with the ones that cause you the most problems.
Hard Working Sally’s Rulebook
Sally dreamed of being a fashion designer. As a child, she and her best friend, Rachel, were constantly creating new fashions and playing dress-up. Sally’s parents gave her some well-meaning advice. They taught her that she would get her dream if she went to church every week, got perfect grades in school, went to college, and was deserving in God’s eyes. They told her it would require very hard work.
Sally did her very best to follow the rulebook she was given, but all doors seemed to be closed; her dream was fast becoming impossible. She decided that she must not be deserving. She tried so hard to be good, she worked very hard, and she constantly wondered what she did wrong.
To add insult to injury, Rachel got a job with the top design firm in New York. Rachel didn’t go to college, never went to church, was an average student, and slept around. To Sally, this looked incredibly unfair. She wanted to be happy for Rachel, but she just couldn’t. Rachel didn’t fit Sally’s rulebook; and yet, she got what Sally wanted.
It is these seemingly unfair moments that cause us to examine our rulebook. The purpose of these experiences is to show us that our rulebook isn’t true. But often we can’t the obvious. What Sally didn’t consider was that Rachel’s parents didn’t give her a rulebook. They gave her unconditional love and told her she could have whatever she wanted from life. Without a rulebook, Rachel’s True Self easily led her to success.
Dropping Sally’s Rulebook
If Sally wants to have her dream, she has to start chipping away at her own rulebook. First she must recognize that her rulebook isn’t true. It is just the rulebook that her parents gave her.
If a rule is true, it works for everyone; and it feels good. Sally must also recognize that she wouldn’t have a dream that she can’t achieve. She just has to remove enough rules so that the dream can be fulfilled. The rules that got her deep into the illusory world limited her too much for her dream to manifest.
Rachel exposed Sally’s beliefs. But often, a Sally will make a Rachel wrong instead of fixing their own mind. Sally might decide that Rachel must have slept with someone to get the job. That way, Sally can keep her rulebook intact; she can justify her own failure. This rationalization would keep Sally stuck and continue to push her dream away.
To get free, Sally must recognize that going to church, working hard, and getting perfect grades are not requirements for success — they were false rules in her parent’s rulebook. She will have to look at what she believes makes someone deserving. She must look at success from new eyes. As she lets go of more and more beliefs or rules, she will create an opening for her dream to come true. When the opening is large enough, she’ll be a fashion designer.
You Didn’t Write the Rules;
But You Sure as Hell Believed Them
We’ve all been stuck in someone’s rulebook. Often people feel overwhelming panic or fear at the thought that they have followed a book of lies; I sure did. It seriously rocks your world. But acknowledgement is the first step toward freedom. You can’t drop a rule that you believe to be true, good, or right.
The only reason you know another’s rulebook so well is that you were taught it, believed it, and then saw the proof. We see what we believe. The physical proof that you observed was the manifestation of the rulebook. You accepted your authority’s rules because you were innocent and didn’t know how to discriminate between true and false; you trusted others. Sadly, the others we trusted didn’t know they had a flawed rulebook. You didn’t do anything wrong, you’re not being punished, and you are deserving.
Initiation reverses our rulebook and opens the gateway to fulfillment of our dreams. When our rulebook is gone, the illusion disappears. All that remains is the truth, which is an empty rulebook.
That was the appetizer, now here is the meal.