Intention: Win-Win (Compassion) or Win-Lose

Compassion

By Cathy Eck

 

Win-Win

As an entrepreneur, I read lots of business books.  When I finished one, I’d go to Barnes & Noble to get another.  One night, I stopped at B&N to get my latest fix.  I noticed a book on the display that said “Win-Win” on the cover.  I didn’t buy the book or even look inside it.  But I loved the sound of those words — win-win.

I bought another book and left the store.  But I couldn’t get win-win out of my mind.  I thought, “I’m going to start living my life that way.  If something isn’t win-win, I won’t do it.”  I didn’t realize that I’d just opened a gateway to compassion…one of the most important keys to initiation.

The next day, during a restroom break at work, I was washing my hands; and I dripped soap on the sink counter.  Those soap droplets caught my attention.  I wondered if just leaving them on the sink was win-win.  After all, we had a maid.  But then the soap would stay there looking messy until the maid came.  I also sensed an attitude of superiority in me as if I was too important to clean.  That didn’t feel win-win.  How could I possibly be more important than the woman who cleaned this restroom?  It really wasn’t win-win to pass the responsibility for my mess on to the maid even if it was technically her job.

Eventually, I pulled down some paper towel and cleaned up my mess.  But I hadn’t just cleaned the counter.  I’d also cleaned something in my mind.  I realized that when I reached that win-win place of thinking over this stupid little thing, I felt a deep calmness that I’d not felt since childhood.  It was way beyond anything I’d felt with meditation.  Meditating quieted my mind; but I was letting go of my shallow false masculine perspective, which freed my mind.

Back at my desk, I picked up a sales contract.  Suddenly it didn’t look win-win.  I called the potential customer and offered to make changes in his favor.  I wasn’t playing games anymore; I treated him the way I would want to be treated.  Again, I felt that peace.

This experiment started with a physical focus — doing that which was win-win.  But it shifted into something much bigger — letting go of any thought that wasn’t win-win.  That, I’d learn, is the meaning of compassion.  Compassion is what tames the false masculine.

 

Intention

About ten years later, people started to write books on the power of intention.  But there was no compassion in their intention setting.  They were thinking an intention before they did something like “Send me that which is for the highest good.”  It sounded nice, but they were washing their hands of responsibility — letting the universe decide what’s good for them.  Unfortunately, the universe doesn’t act as our fair and just concierge; we get what we believe.  This allowed the person to look compassionate without being compassionate.  Compassion doesn’t happen until we let go of beliefs.  It purifies our mind when we let go of the false masculine’s judgmental win-lose, good-evil, or right-wrong thoughts.

Others set intentions like, “I intend to win this race,”  or “I intend to lose twenty pounds this month.”  They were willing the future into submission for their benefit — another talent of the false masculine.

My intention to live from win-win caused me to go deep into my mind and to question my own thinking.  I was letting go before I even understood letting go.  To really get to win-win on any subject, I had to consider everyone that might be affected by the situation — the true application of the Golden Rule.  Letting go of the false masculine beliefs and judgments transformed my false physically-oriented perspective into the true, pure mental perspective of life.  Of course, when my mind was right, top of the triangle with no opposite thoughts, my behavior followed.  I couldn’t imagine harming another.

 

Compassion

Later, I decided to do my Ph.D. Dissertation on the initiation story of Jesus, and I used this same technique.  Unlike Christians, I didn’t want to copy Jesus’ actions; I wanted to understand, and find in myself, the mind of Jesus.  I’d take a Bible quote that didn’t make sense such as, “The meek shall inherit the earth.”  I started with the win-lose interpretations that I’d been taught:  “You have to be submissive to get to heaven.  You get rewarded for giving others what they want.”  None of the thoughts that popped into my mind felt win-win.  They didn’t produce that calmness or compassion.  So I kept dropping every belief that arose and kept digging for the truth.  You see, the truth wasn’t in some guru or in the ethers for channels to pick up; it was in my mind resting quietly below all of my false knowledge.

After letting go of many thoughts about this quote, I dropped into that now familiar place of win-win.  Jesus was talking about the mental, not the physical.  He was already in that compassionate place when he spoke.  When we let go of our beliefs and knowledge, our mind becomes meek, quiet, and pure.  We can’t imagine fighting or willing in order to get what we want.  And yet, our meek mind is extraordinarily powerful because our mind is so clear and creative.  We easily get whatever we focus our mind on — we inherit the earth.

I repeated this process for thousands of hours until I decoded the path of initiation from the story of Jesus.  He was a compassionate dude; and it wasn’t because of what he did but because of how he thought.  Then I saw it everywhere — initiation was embedded in many ancient myths and legends.  You can’t see it until you get the right perspective.  Real freedom, real peace, and real power are revealed when we exercise compassion and let go until our thinking becomes completely win-win for everyone.  That’s how we bring heaven back to earth.

The Game: Falling In and Digging Ourselves Back Out

Game

By Cathy Eck

 

Tricks and Traps in The Game

You just dug yourself out of a big false self trap after feeling emotions and listening to your false repeat crappy beliefs and criticism for days.  Now you’re sailing again.  You feel like your True SELF.

Then suddenly, you feel that all too familiar confusion.  You feel emotion in your body again, maybe even panic or pain.  Your mind is looking for reasons.  Ah shit!  You thought you’d finally made it out, and now you’re right back in the poop soup again.

I know it sucks.  But in this moment, it won’t do any good to get frustrated, impatient, or angry.  You just fell in to the illusion again, and you have to dig yourself out.  There are seemingly endless tricks and traps on the way out of the illusion.  You will meet and defeat them all.  That’s initiation!

The True Self is patient.  It’s immortal.  Today, tomorrow, next year, next life…it’s all the same.

But try as I do to get people to just let go and get back to their True Self, they always want reasons for the big question: “Why did this happened to me?”  Reasons take us outward; freedom requires going inward.  However, giving our mind a logical reason can sometimes help forward movement.  Letting go of the reasons you hear in your mind (like God is punishing you) always helps.  Here are a few useful reasons that will keep you in the game.

 

Reasons The False Trapped Your Ass Again

1) You just accepted a feminine role to a false masculine, and that person caused you to accept their beliefs.

2) You heard someone say something that sounded good, true, or positive (like a teacher, guru, preacher), and you accepted their positive statement without noticing the emotion that came with it.  We’re trained to be in our mind, to be good students that take in what the teacher says without discriminating, and so we miss the invaluable signals our body senses give us.  Besides, when we get truth from another, it’s no longer truth; it’s knowledge.  Let other people’s truth go and find your own truth.

3) Your false self felt sympathy for another instead of compassion.

4) You just got competitive and choose sides or needed to win.  Freedom is an individual game.

5)  You presumed another couldn’t meet you at the True Self level, and so you became something acceptable to them.  You united with the lowest common denominator — the one with the most rigid beliefs.

6)  You feared the judgment or punishment of another.  So you did what they told you to do.

7)  You looked for a reward or looked to see if a problem went away yet.  If you have to look for results or rewards, you aren’t trusting your True Self yet.  Keep letting go.

8)  You didn’t trust your quiet inspiration.  Instead you followed expertise, social norms, or knowledge.

9)  Your mind is saying, “Who are you to do this?”  “This is too hard.”  “Cathy is a dumb fuck with a big imagination.” “Cathy wants you to accept her belief system.”  or “Emotions are bad; I don’t want to feel them.”  I offer you one belief that you need to get free:  “You can let all beliefs go.  You don’t need them.”  Everything I write supports that one belief because you need it to get free.  When you’re free, you’ll drop that ONE belief because you won’t need it, and I won’t look like a dumb fuck with a big imagination anymore.

10)  You saw someone else’s reality and thought, “This could happen to me.”  You must remain an impartial voyeur of other people’s lives.  If what they’re living brings up emotion, let go of your belief in that potential.  Their beliefs are creating their reality.  This is easier after you take responsibility for your own mind; you see that everything has a mental cause.

11)  Someone said you hurt them or didn’t support them; and you believed them.  Only the false self can be hurt; and only the false self needs support.  If you need others to support you, you’re listening to your false self.  Enjoy supporters if they come, but don’t need them.  Let them go.

12)  You have direction confusion.  You read this blog because you want freedom — you want to be your True Self and live from win-win.  It feels good when you think toward freedom and bad when you imprison yourself with beliefs.  But a religious person wants to be good according to dogma.  They feel good when obedient and bad when they disobey.  Someone who wants to win will feel great when they win and like shit when they lose.  We set the direction for our mind.  We don’t have the right to set the direction for other’s minds.  And they don’t have the right to set the direction for our mind.

13)  You followed excitement or emotions outward instead of inward — such as following romance, hope, or lust!

14)  You’re trying to figure out someone else’s mind instead of discriminating in your own.  Their mind is their problem.  Your mind is your problem.

 

It’s a Game

The collective illusion has gotten very tricky, especially since the addition of self-help and the New Age.  Knowing the tricks makes it easier to win the game.

See your quest for freedom as a giant video game.  You beat one level, and then you have to confront a more difficult level.  At some point, you win the game; or you die.  So what, you just start a new game.  If you watch people play video games, this is their attitude.  They feel good playing because that’s the attitude of our True Self.  Life is a game — an individual sport.  We enter into this big dangerous arena filled with beliefs (lies), and some of us figure out how to discriminate and beat the game. The prize is freedom, living as our True Self, and fulfillment of our desires (without anyone else having to lose).  It’s a great game — worth playing.

The True Masculine Role (How It Looks)

Leading

By Cathy Eck

 

It’s hard to explain the power of the True Masculine role, mostly because there aren’t many good examples.  The masculine role is the role that has fallen; and it took the feminine right along with it.  Sadly, the fallen masculine leader tries to fix the feminine, its own reflection, instead of looking in and fixing the cause in its own mind.  This keeps everyone stuck.

 

Know your Role

The first step to owning the True Masculine Role in your own mind and life is to always know your role in any situation.  I’ve written plenty about that.  Sometimes the role is obvious.  But sometimes, it isn’t.

For example, in two people of equal status, the one speaking is the in masculine role; the listener is feminine.  We also have tricky ways of getting into the masculine role.  If we see the world as positive and negative, the most positive person will tend to have the masculine role or higher status.  In a spiritual or religious group, the good person will take the lead.  In the illusion, the one who’s right or wins takes the Grand Puba position.  Conscious of this or not, we’re always looking to get that coveted masculine role.

If we can’t win fairly, we might trick the person into giving up their power; or the relationship might be one long power struggle.  Nothing is off-limits in the illusion.  It’s all about the drama.

 

True Masculine

The True Masculine is like the sun — unconditional, expressive, and giving.  Giving is key; too many men want the masculine role so they can receive.  That’s not how it works.  In the True Masculine, there’s no hidden agendas — no masks.  We don’t need a mask to give, to express our True Self.  We only need a mask when we want someone to give to us who doesn’t want to.  Then we’re weasels wearing the mask of a good person.

A religious leader is giving a sermon on obeying God.  They’re a false leader.  They’re looking at the congregation and saying, “You need fixing.  You’re all disobedient.”  But wait, he’s in the masculine role; if he’s seeing disobedience, guess where it is — in his OWN mind.

The husband looks at his wife and sees a bitch.  The question he must ask is what beliefs is he holding about her.  She’s the reflection; he’s got the cause in his mind.  Or perhaps he’s not giving her unconditional love; he’s trying to get attention, sex, his way.  In the illusion, the feminine role reflects what you give.  You give shit; you get shit back.  Deal with it.

The mother looks at her child and thinks he’s lazy.  No, he’s not.  She’s holding her hard work ethic as true when it’s just a belief.  The child is showing her what she fears — who she would be if she didn’t put on her show as a hard worker.

The false masculine fixes the effect of their mental projection, and then sends the projection a bill or punishment.  The reflection always has a WTF look on their face.  I write this blog primarily for those in feminine roles with WTF looks.  But they will escape one day; and then I hope they’ll use what they learned to become the True Masculine that they never knew.  Revenge is never sweet.

 

Hints for Success in the Masculine Role

1)  Shut the fuck UP!  I mean that.  Just let go of what you see in the other that you don’t like or is false.  When we’re in the masculine role, we have the power.  We also love to spew our knowledge all over the place.  But the wisdom is in the feminine role.  We don’t need to train the feminine to follow our rules or think like us, we just need to stop projecting on them.

2)  FEEL!  What you’re thinking about the person in the feminine role does generate emotion in YOU.  You’ll feel it if you stop thinking — get out of your head.

3)  WIN-WIN!  Notice that if they accept your way of thinking, you’ll win or be right, but they’ll lose.  When a True Masculine leads, everybody wins…and I mean everybody, everywhere.

4)  Stop thinking about the other.  Stop giving status reports or reasons.  Stop prophesying what you believe the person will do next.  Just watch your own mind, and let go of what’s false, which is probably everything.  If you have to, lock yourself in a closet.

 

It’s a Dance…

When I was in my twenties, I went to New York City a lot for business.  I always went dancing after work (and drinking).  One night, Teddy, a really chubby, short guy with super thick glasses and the worst hair, came up and asked me to dance.  Teddy asked a lot of girls to dance, but no one said, “Yes.”  I wasn’t looking for a man; I was married.  So I wasn’t sizing up his looks like the single girls.  When I hit the floor, I had one of those American Idol moments when Simon Cowell would go “Holy Shit.”  This guy was an amazing dancer.  He was smooth and light.  But he was also a very powerful leader.  Under his lead, I didn’t need to think — I could just reflect.  I seriously “had the time of my life.”  For the first time, I realized the awesomeness of being cast in a pure feminine role with a True Masculine in the lead.  Reflecting can be really fun.

Every time I went to New York, I’d go dancing with Teddy.  Eventually, we both changed jobs and lost touch.  But I’ll never forgot what it felt like to dance with someone who not only knew he could dance, but also knew that I could dance.  That’s the best analogy that I’ve ever found for the True Masculine.  S/he not only has self-confidence and self-trust, but they have confidence and trust in those who are feminine to them.  They see everyone else as their reflection; and their reflection is perfect.

 

Too Good To Be True, Etc.

La Jolla

By Cathy Eck

 

In my mentorship program, I require participants to write down their personal version of Heaven on Earth.  It isn’t the same for any two people.  But there is a harmony among them.  There’s never a case where one person’s Heaven on Earth would prevent another from having their Heaven on Earth.  That’s how I know they’ve tapped into something true.

After writing their Heaven on Earth, I ask them to write about their reality.  The difference is huge.  I learn a lot about them.  I learn what brings them joy.  I also learn what’s currently bringing them pain and suffering.  If they’ve been involved in New Age or Eastern religions, they’ll have a hard time writing this document.  They’ve become quite good at ignoring their desires or making them bad.  If they’ve been in western religion, they have lots of desires, but their reality is not even close.  Often they’re embarrassed by the desires; they think they don’t deserve them.  Or they think they’ll get them when they die if they go to the Heaven sold by religion.

In some cases, their mind and emotions work for them.  When they read their Heaven on Earth, they feel calm and peaceful.  Life feels right.  When they read their reality statement, they feel emotional and powerless.  Their emotions are pointing to the beliefs that are causing this gap.  The True Self would have no gap between reality and Heaven unless it’s a fun gap.  It also wouldn’t have emotional agitation.

When we understand this, we see how religion and spiritual teachings make people miserable.  They’re pushing Heaven away from earth by causing people to believe that their desires are imaginary, wrong, or impossible.  Most people are basking on the fringes of hell while telling themselves that they’re almost in heaven.  Spiritual and miserable are close cousins in the illusion.  Most people don’t see this, but they would if they watched themselves talk.

 

Defeat or Drop

The illusion looks very powerful and impossible to defeat for most of us.  Some people achieve success by finding a crack.  Others have strong wills and win a battle or two.  But nobody wins the war.  The illusion eventually kills us all.  It’s impossible to defeat the illusion by fighting it.  No one has ever won that war, and no one ever will.  However, it’s possible to forget the illusion — to not believe it exists.  And when enough of us do that, it won’t exist anymore for anyone.  Earth will be Heaven again.

There are some big beliefs that fuel the notion that our dreams are impossible or imaginary, and our reality is painfully true.  The main one is that people think thoughts that generate emotion are true, when they are actually false.  This keeps us all living like salmon trying to jump upstream.  It’s hard work.  I wouldn’t want to be a salmon.

With each of these false statements below, notice that they aren’t win-win for everyone.  Either some people must lose, or everyone must lose.  Also, if you pay attention to your emotions, you’ll see they’re false beliefs.  If they do feel good, look for some sneaky-ass pride telling you that you’re good for having this belief.  Or see if you’re labeling the emotion excitement.

 

It’s Too Good to be True

It’s easier to see how disgusting this statement really is when you look at the opposite.  “If it’s really bad and I’ll hate it, It’s true.”  We often say things like “It’s Too Good to be True” to make ourselves seem humble.  If we were all shining brightly, no one would be humble.  Only arrogant people will tell us that we need to be humble.  Only those who want company in their misery will tell us that “It’s Too Good to be True.”  If something feels calm and peaceful, it’s true.  We don’t need to prove that to anyone.

 

Hard Work is a Virtue

Most of us in America have ye olde Puritan Ethic.  We’re embarrassed or labeled lazy if something comes to us easily.

In common conversations, normal people whine, complain, blame, or look for justification, praise, or support for their “life is hard work” point of view.  No wonder many of us would rather be alone on an island.  If hard work was virtuous, it would make us happy and joyful too.

After letting go for a while, I didn’t have anything to complain about.  People didn’t notice.  They just saw my silence as more air time for them to bitch.  After awhile, I decided there was no value in many relationships.  I couldn’t see that when I was complaining half of the time.  Normal crappy relationships looked like friendship.

I wondered what a real friendship looked like.  I realized that I wanted to talk about fulfilling my dreams, creative ideas, and new things I learned.   One day, it hit me.  Those were things that I talked about when I was young.  Maybe we get old and sick only because we keep accepting more and more of the illusion as true until it kills us.

 

Some Things Never Change

This statement screams level confusion.  The True Self doesn’t change.  All creative potential doesn’t need to change.  The false self should continue to change along with the True Self, but as people get older, they usually resist change.  A baby changes from week to week, children change from year to year.  Adults change from decade to decade, and most old people don’t change at all.  Then what’s the use of living anymore?  So we don’t.

 

Think of some more of these widely accepted false beliefs, and let them go.  If you notice yourself saying them, pay attention to why you said them.  Close the hole in your false mind by letting go of the reason you said it.  Do this enough, and the distance between your reality and your Heaven on Earth will shrink.  Until one day, they gap will be gone.

 

 

 

Rebellion and Denial aren’t Letting Go

Rebellion and Denial

By Cathy Eck

 

Are We Really Letting Go?

Taking action to fix a situation is fixing the effect of our beliefs, not letting go.  We’re often so used to fixing effects that we don’t even think to let go first.  Now that being said, we will probably continue to take actions to fix some effects for awhile.  Some problems have so much power that we have to gain proficiency in letting go and trusting our emotions before we don’t need to take any action at all.  Nevertheless, it’s important that we recognize if we’re fixing effects.  In this way, we can still let go after the fact and continue moving toward freedom.

For most of us, there are obvious problems that we know we must let go.  They’re in our face; and we can see that we need to let go of our beliefs around these issues.  Then there are problems or beliefs that we deny or rebel against.

We usually deny beliefs because we’ve become so proficient at fixing them with action or compensating beliefs that we forget we’re fixing effects.  We’re sure we no longer believe the things that we’re still fixing.  But if we stop fixing the effect for some reason, we’ll be reminded of that belief.  Let’s say we believe in evil, but we believe our religion will keep us safe from it.  Then we leave that religion, and we fear evil again.  In denial, we pretend a belief that we clearly hold as true doesn’t exist in our mind.  Denial facilitates projection.  When we deny beliefs, we see them in others but not in ourselves.  We often judge those who act out our beliefs.

In rebellion, it feels as if the belief is coming at us from others.  We have beliefs in our mind that say we must believe what some other person believes.  We can’t see that we hold the causal belief that allows this person into our mind.  Usually they’re an authority in our life.  We often think we can’t let go of their belief, so we do the opposite.

 

Rebellion

Many people think they are no longer rebelling when their opponent has stopped fighting.  The non-action appears to indicate resolution.  But we’re stuck on one side of the bottom of the triangle mentally with our opponent silently holding the opposite.  Justifying our position or saying we won can look a lot like freedom, but it isn’t.

Let’s say that our mother wants us to go to college.  We don’t go; in time, our mother doesn’t bring up the topic anymore.  It’s easy to think that we’ve resolved this issue.  But we haven’t.  College becomes the elephant in the room.  Our mother is always looking for a reason to point out what she perceives as our error.

Fortunately, if one lets go of the bottom of the triangle, the other must.  We dissolve the false self connection.  We must look at why we believe our mother’s beliefs or judgments of us.  If we see her beliefs or judgments as false, they will lose all power.  We’ll know without a doubt that our True Self guided us perfectly.

The best way that we can prove the rightness of our True Self is to let go of whatever others throw at us.  We must know that what they throw our way isn’t true for us.  People will do this until we can’t be rattled anymore.  Then they stop.  The elephant leaves the room.

 

Denial

Denial is a coping mechanism of our false self.  We’re living in a situation that we hate, but we tell ourselves it’s the way life is or we need to accept what is.  We need this job.  We’ll be lonely if we leave the marriage.  We might say we’re good for putting up with something that isn’t acceptable to us.  We might believe we don’t deserve more.  Often denial is masked in words of forgiveness or in trying to sound nice.  Denial is often a sign that we’ve become good at losing.

I was taught that being a good loser was virtuous.  I was told to considered losing part of life…you win some and you lose some.  But then I realized that win-lose wasn’t normal or true.  I had to let go of all my goodisms that made other people’s winning at my expense right — sayings like “accept what is” or “they did the best that they could” weren’t true.  We weren’t designed to accept intolerable situations, judgment from others, or living in small boxes.  We aren’t doing the best we can if we are living from beliefs.

The key to my relief was in recognizing that my True Self sorted the world based on true and false.  I wasn’t making someone bad or wrong by not believing them.  I was just choosing my own freedom; they could choose what they wanted for themselves.  Realizing that beliefs are false regardless of who imposes them on us is what frees us.

 

Ultimately, our life belongs to us.  It’s our journey, and we were meant to live from our True Self.  When we rebel against a belief that another possesses and tries to impose on us, or we deny that we have a belief, we remain stuck in the illusion and chained to others.  We stay stuck where we don’t belong.  We make actions right that have been fueled by false thinking.  We fight with others when there is really nothing to fight about.

As we get rid of rebellion and denial, we become more comfortable living our life.  We aren’t bothered by other people’s beliefs because we know that one can only harm themselves with their beliefs.  They can no longer project into our life and body.  Their beliefs do not impact us even if they think they should.  This is where real power begins to erupt within us.  We start to truly live as creators of our own life.

 

Win-Win and Our Bodies

An apple a day

By Cathy Eck

Lose-Lose

People often write to me asking for help with physical problems.  My body has been a huge challenge for me, mostly because the illusion is filled with beliefs about our bodies; and people in my life had rigid body beliefs and enormous trust in experts.  I, on the other hand, found the things that people do to fix their bodies repulsive.  I’ve had a lot to let go, and I’m not done.  But I do know where I’m going.  Here’s what I’ve learned.

The illusion is physically or effect oriented.  We see something wrong in our bodies, and we go to an expert.  We trust whatever they diagnose.  We put their knowledge in our mind and hope it fixes our problem.  We ignore the fact that experts see what they believe — projection.

We ignore our True Self’s wisdom and our own emotional discrimination that’s probably screaming at us.  We’ve given false masters dominion over our body in so many ways, usually out of fear.  Until we confront our fears, they lie under the surface waiting to trap us one day.  We’re playing the health lottery; and the odds of winning are decreasing every day.

Fixing the effects of our false thinking causes slow mental degradation.  We dive even deeper in the illusion every time we fix effects.  We’ve given our money and power to someone else; we’ve put them in a false masculine role over us without realizing it.  We’ll need them again because the cause isn’t really gone.  Eventually, we’ll encounter a problem that no expert can solve.  If we have no awareness of our True Self, that problem will kill us or severely deteriorate our quality of life.  It’s insane that we call that normal.

When the illusion wins, we ALL lose because everyone has fueled beliefs.  It gets harder for anyone to break free.  It’s imperative that we stop feeding the illusion.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying to go cold turkey regarding fixing bodily effects.  Sometimes we have to fix or minimize the effects to get rid of enough fear to let go.  The best way to fix a bodily problem is to follow what we believe.  But later, when things calm down, we should look for the cause and let it go.

 

Win-Lose 

Start with the easy stuff.  Recently I saw a quiz on Facebook that said, “Are you toxic?”  I knew what it would ask:  How often do you work out?  Do you drink?  Smoke?  How many servings of fruit and vegetables do you eat daily?  Do you eat fast food?  As I suspected, all the questions were physically oriented.  State of mind was ignored completely.

Health is the illusion’s new religion.  Athletes and models are our false Gods.  We deem their bodies perfect and strive to look like them.  Whatever makes them beautiful, we’ll buy and copy.

We’re hard wired to trust beautiful people.  But we must make sure that we know what beautiful really looks like.

According to the Facebook quiz, everyone should feel guilty and buy cleanses and diet plans and hire personal trainers.  When we’re told what to do, we’ll either rebel or blindly follow.  Either way, we’re supporting the illusion.  We’ll never find the top of the triangle.  The false God is a marketing genius.

This is hard for many people to see.  If they’ve fixed something with knowledge, a program, or practice, they don’t feel the discord of their own beliefs and knowledge anymore.  They judge those who aren’t fixing their effects in the same way.  They’ve projected out their definition of wrong on to those who eat wrong (in their opinion) or don’t work out.  If they stop their practice, their projection will come right back to them.  When we fix effects, we have to keep the belief in the fix alive.

 

Win-Win

If we get to our True Self perspective, we’ll eat and do what’s right for us.  The ancient people said that the body was the effect of the mind.  If we let go of all body beliefs, we’ll end up bodily wise and beautiful.  However, I suspect that we’d not recognize such beauty today.

Let’s design this toxicity test from the ancient perspective:  Do you love drama?  Whine?  Judge others or yourself?  Do you criticize your body?  Do you fix the effects of your body’s problems?  Do you hold rigid food and exercise beliefs?  Do you believe experts over your True Self?  If so, you’re mentally toxic to yourself and others.  You’re perpetuating the illusion of health and beauty.

Real transformation comes from the inside out.  It’s slow; we go through an awkward stage that makes us constantly want to turn back.  We find more beliefs than we can even imagine.

The mental test represents a perspective that heals the mind and the body; the physical test fixes only the body/effect.  Jesus himself said, “Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.” (King James Matthew 15:11)  I like to quote that when my Christian friends behave like food police — shuts them up in a hurry.

The mental win-win perspective is fair to everyone.  The homeless person can practice letting go and be healthy, beautiful, and happy just like the rich person.  Everyone can be uniquely beautiful.

Someone who wants to hold on to their false self won’t like the mental test.  But it’s time for those who benefit from the illusion to lose their false power.  Sadly, the people who say they love us and care for us are often the ones killing us with their rigid beliefs.  As we muster the courage to challenge their beliefs, our body relaxes and heals.  Our True Self stays in power; and we return to our natural state of health, joy, and beauty.

 

 

Shortcut to Freedom: Win-Win Taken to the Extreme

Jesus Breaking Cross

By Cathy Eck

 

Shortcut to Freedom

A powerful shortcut to freedom is to take the concept of win-win to the extreme.  This is especially true if we need to see our religious, social, or cultural beliefs because they tend to look acceptable and normal.

We must understand how to use win-win as a tool for letting go of our false masculine mind to bring peace back to earth.  But hardly anyone can or will do it.

 

An Example

Recently, I went to the Prohibido Museo de Arte Extremo in Cuenca, Ecuador, where I’m still living temporarily.  It had an assortment of dragons, gothic art, monsters, and taboo pieces.  It was clearly one man’s life passion; he was very talented.  It was a courageous expression of art since Cuenca is an extremely religious town.

I was surprised when my Christian housemates recommended it to me.  After I visited Arte Extremo, we discussed the sculpture above.  It’s Jesus breaking his cross.

One of the things that started me searching for the initiation teachings was the Christian notion that authorities could kill God.  God represents omnipotence and immortality.  Either Jesus didn’t die; or he wasn’t God.  The notion that Jesus died for our sins as a martyr was an attempt to make sense of the crucifixion, but it fails miserably as a story ending.

I theorized that the correct perspective to Jesus’ story would cause it to read like a novel.  It would contain no contradictions.  The conclusion would be a logical ending to the story.  This project took about eight years of research.  In addition, I had to let go of everything that  I thought I knew about Jesus.  Eventually, I found the perspective I sought; it was called initiation.  My theory, which became my Ph.D. dissertation, proved to be sound.  Jesus’ story did read like an ancient novel from the initiate’s perspective.

Since my project, religious art has taken on new life.  So many great artists, like Michelangelo and da Vinci, had an initiate’s perspective and gave us clues through their art.  Only those who had eyes to see saw the clues.  I had no doubt that this extreme artist was tuned into the initiates’ channel.

Jesus breaking his cross represented freedom in initiation.  The cross was a metaphor for being stuck in the illusion.  A God wouldn’t be stuck in the illusion.  The sculpture from this perspective expressed a win-win point of view.  Jesus would be telling us to break our crosses, not wear them around our neck.  It seems that the artist saw Jesus as a true God, more powerful than any distorted human authority’s perspective.  Isn’t that how a God would be?  Wouldn’t a God save us little mortals from authority?

Who benefits from believing that authority is more powerful than God?  Authority does.  If authority can kill God, what chance in hell do we have?  We’ll blindly obey.

 

Win-Win Perspective

I discussed the sculpture with my housemates after my return from the museum.  One of them said that he wasn’t offended at all.  He views art as expression that often challenges our thinking; this artist did what many artists do.

The other was bothered by the sculpture and saw it as anti-Christian.  She said that it’s wrong to say Jesus didn’t die because he did.  I could see where she was coming from.  Her beliefs connected her to a special group perspective, and it’s all she’d ever known.  She believed that she was saved and Jesus was her savior.

Getting free isn’t about proving who’s right or wrong, it’s about win-win or win-lose.  Her saving has no value unless all people are fallen sinners.  The initiates didn’t believe in sin; they believed in wrong thinking, which could be dropped.  My housemate’s belief that Jesus died for our sins requires Jesus, a God, to have died.  If he broke the cross and stood up to authority, the whole belief system would shatter.  If all people are sinners, and Jesus didn’t save anyone, then she’s hell-bound scum just like the rest of us.  The artist pulled the magic carpet out from beneath the Christian savior illusion with one silent statue.  But look what happens when we join him.  Authority loses its power; we move toward win-win.  Jesus didn’t die; authority did.

If God can’t be harmed by authority, and if we all have a True Self (God) aspect within, then authority has no real power.  We can only be harmed by authority if we obey them, believe them, and accept their perspective as true.  Isn’t that exactly what religion does to people?  The religious perspective kills Jesus everyday so that we don’t have to deal with our own sinning (false thinking).

When we hold on to win-lose, we lose our own chance at freedom.  We don’t just harm others; we hurt ourselves.  In the eyes of truth, we aren’t truly good until we can live from win-win in the extreme — where our perspective is so expansive that it gives everyone the potential to win (without having to accept our beliefs).

Extreme win-win forces us to purify our masculine false mind.  We become harmless to anyone and everyone.  Expanding our perspective to see if it’s win-win for all turns us into true leaders.  It  forces our false mind to be objective and unconditionally loving.  Once our mind is win-win to the extreme, it’s returned to the way it was initially — the goal of initiation.

The final test of initiation was the crucifixion.  The initiate took one last dip into a powerless, feminine role.  This was my purpose in coming to Ecuador — to allow my own remaining beliefs to come at me — and they did.  This is why Jesus didn’t fight in his story.  Instead of doing harm to others, the initiate allowed whatever was left in their mind to be done to themselves.  The key was to realize that whatever came at them was false.  If they failed the test, they died.  If they passed the test, they lived as resurrected beings, completely free of the illusion.

 

Prohibido Museo Arte De Extremo, Cuenca, Ecuador

Eliminating Right and Wrong Through Win-Win

Jesus and food

By Cathy Eck

 

Win-Win Thinking Instead of Right and Wrong

Win-win thinking isn’t easy to apply.  Most humans believe that if everyone thought like them, the world would be perfect.  Win-win thinking is about letting go of our beliefs, even if we aren’t really wrong by appearances, social protocol, or religious standards.  It’s about resisting the temptation to force others to accept or support our perspective of right and wrong.  When we force others to think like us, even if we speak the truth, we get a false self connection with them.  When we let go, we move into a True Self connection; that’s what we really want with everyone.  A True Self connection is our natural state of unity; a false self connection is possession.

A few days ago, I was out taking a walk.  Two of my housemates apparently got into a discussion while I was gone over the right and wrong of drinking wine.  Both of them are Evangelical Christians so you wouldn’t expect them to disagree.  The woman said that drinking is wrong because her pastor says so; Jesus drank only grape juice.  The man said that Jesus drank wine and even made water into wine.  The woman then countered that if Jesus made it, it was special wine, not like the wine we buy at the store.  By the time I returned, they were no longer fighting.  I didn’t know anything about the disagreement.

Soon I learned what transpired while I was gone because each side made comments that showed the argument was still bothering them. My perspective wasn’t even within the scope of the argument so I didn’t get involved.  However, comments about the argument kept arising in conversation; I realized that it was time for me to step back and look at the situation from win-win.  There was clearly something for me to learn.  I couldn’t just ignore the argument even if I wasn’t a participant; I had to make sure my mind was clear of right and wrong.  In that way, I could be a clear influence that might help them resolve their conflict more easily.

 

Grape Juice Argument

The grape juice argument is clearly win-lose.  She was saying that if you drink wine, you’re a sinner.  She was wielding her superiority position over the other by saying she was the right one; and he was wrong.  Naturally, this didn’t bring out the best in her opponent.

This was a familiar situation for me.  I’d often been viewed as wrong by others who had strong beliefs.  Their rightness depended on my wrongness.  They wanted me to submit to their point of view and admit they’re rightness.  I could see that people with beliefs assume you are opposing them if you just don’t share their belief.

 

Wine Argument

The man who voted for drinking wine had the natural win-win position.  The woman could choose juice and not be wrong in his perspective.  However, I learned later that he was trying to coax the woman to have a glass of wine.  So he compromised his naturally more expansive and win-win position by trying to get her to let go of her position and join him.

I’d been here too — often with loved ones.  I’d try to push them to let go, and I got caught in their illusionary battle over right and wrong.  Now there were two drowning minds in the sea of limitation.  I remembered that win-win means allowing the other to have their beliefs and suffer the consequences of them.

 

Expansion is the Goal

The goal of initiation was to let go of all beliefs.  Initiates didn’t care if others had beliefs because they didn’t believe anything that wasn’t true.  They didn’t accept limitation or the notion of right and wrong.  They suggested letting go, but never forced others to do so.

When people have a strong belief, they go looking for support.  They often want to force the other to support their point of view.  If we want support for the truth, we are holding truth as a belief.  When we downgrade the truth to a belief, it has no power.  We stop feeling the need for support.  

 

Eliminating Right and Wrong

When we get down to the basics, people have a right to do whatever they want to themselves.  Neither the man or the woman’s beliefs were harmful for the other if they each followed their own beliefs.  In a world where beliefs still exist, this is often the best possible outcome.

Ideally, if the people with the most limiting beliefs always let go and joined the more expansive perspective, we’d soon find ourselves all living in paradise. But not everyone wants to let go at this time.  So we must let go of our belief that other people’s beliefs can harm us or limit our life experience.  We tend to fear people with stronger or more limiting beliefs because we’ve all had people impose their beliefs on us in the past.  We’ve felt our world get smaller when others forced their beliefs on us.

If we recognize the beliefs of others as false, they won’t affect our life.  We don’t have to accept the beliefs of even one other; and we can let go of those we’ve already accepted.  Eventually, those with the least beliefs will lead the best lives.  When that happens, we won’t have to encourage anyone to let go.  They will see the obvious benefit and motivate themselves.

Bottom line…my housemate’s argument was absurd.  The very person they fought over said, “Listen and understand! It is not what goes into your mouth that makes you ritually unclean; rather, what comes out of it makes you unclean.”  Jesus didn’t care what people drank.  He cared what people said or believed.

Sadly, my housemates’ disagreement created separation; in truth, they were two friends who loved each other enough to expose beliefs that kept each of them from freedom.  They just don’t realize that yet.

 

Becoming a True Leader by Mastering the Masculine Role

Masculine Role

By Cathy Eck

 

Masculine Role

A true leader is someone who carries out the masculine role perfectly.  The masculine role in our modern world has fallen to a very low level.  Most leaders in masculine roles are power-hungry, competitive, and need to be right.  They project their shadows on to others; then they blame the shadow.  Consequently, the people they lead in feminine roles feel confused, emotional, and powerless.

The master of the masculine role leads from the inside out.  They have a pure mind and only believe thoughts that take them to a win-win vision (they actually know what a win-win vision is).  They let go of the thoughts that aren’t moving their community or business forward.  They don’t hide their false self under a nice or smart persona or say one thing and do another.  They have few beliefs; all of them are from first-cause (non-judgmental) thinking.

Years ago, I discovered the true masculine as a business owner.  At first, I followed other leaders.  I tried to motivate my employees, create an inspiring vision, and treat everyone fairly.  I tried to hide or deny my fear.  But something was off, and I knew it because I could feel it in my body.  I still competed for work.  I still honored beliefs about business and my industry because everyone else did.

In short, my masculine mind was split into win and lose.  I was always battling for the win.  When I won, I felt good.  When I lost, I felt bad.  The outcome of any competition determined how I felt, and that was no longer acceptable.  So I made a simple decision that I would no longer do anything that wasn’t win-win for everyone involved.

Slowly, I realized that if I let go of my own beliefs, I was left with the truth around any situation.  My employees no longer needed motivating, and I didn’t have to compete and market.  I got the business that was right for me.

I wasn’t just changing my thoughts superficially; I let go of the thoughts that weren’t true.  My mind now sorted information based on true and false, not win and lose.  When something went wrong, I found the cause in my mind and let it go.  The cause was always a belief that I’d learned from another.  Slowly the outer world came to match my inner vision.

But this all worked because I played the masculine role.  I was in charge.  I used the people in the feminine role as my mirror; I was serious about not breaking that mirror.

 

Why Leaders Fail?

Leaders fail because they aren’t leading.  They might hold the position, title, or authority; but they aren’t a true leader if they lead from win-lose.  They hold beliefs or rules in mind that they want others to follow.  They see enemies to defeat.

Most leaders try to impose or force their beliefs on others.  They try to convince everyone that their beliefs are right and their enemies are real.

When a leader simply wants to win their projected battles, they aren’t a leader.  They’re a dictator.  Dictators tend to use force, shame, guilt, blame, manipulation, or fear to get their way.   Sadly, most parents, teachers, clergy, and leaders of all sorts are either dictators or complete push-overs.  A true leader is neither of these.

 

Getting to True

To get to true leadership, we must find the cause of problems in our own mind.  The cause is always thought, a belief.  The person playing the masculine role is always at cause in the illusion because it’s the masculine role that has authority, makes rules, and gives rewards or punishment. The illusion was created that way.

What we really want are leaders without beliefs that take us all to peace, abundance, and freedom.  But our false self tends to choose leaders that validate our beliefs.  We feel supported when people think like us.  So we exacerbate the problem.

 

Letting Go in the Masculine Role

Letting go in the masculine role is different from the feminine.  In the feminine role, it feels like beliefs are coming at us.  We didn’t make the rules or create the beliefs, but we feel we must follow them.  Letting go in the feminine role is difficult.

In the masculine role, we’re always facing our own projection.  If our projection isn’t free, joyous, and basking in abundance, our false self wants to either fix or battle its shadow, when it should just let it go.  Some people do this their entire life.  Shit we label people heroes for fixing their own faulty projections.  We’re really blind on this issue.

If a leader of a country sees poverty, they have poverty inside their mind.  If they see terrorists, they’re the cause of the terrorism.  When we accept the masculine role, we accept the responsibility for everything that goes wrong.

The person in the masculine role cannot be a victim because they’re the cause.  Problems can only be fixed at the cause.  When the leader takes responsibility for their thinking, problems get fixed easily.  When they take action to fix the effects of their thinking, problems last forever.

Our world is a mess now because our leaders project their beliefs outside of them and act innocent when they come back to bite their ass.  This is why I teach people in feminine roles to no longer accept projections or beliefs.  Leaders stop blaming the feminine when it no longer works.

The true masculine recognizes that their job is to watch and listen to their feminine projection and self correct.  A true leader rarely gets the credit because they made the correction inside their mind, rather than outside with effort.  It looks like things just went back to normal or a miracle occurred.

Lao Tzu said, “A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”  Lao Tzu understood true leadership.

Initiation: You Can’t Worship Two Masters

Find the kingdom of heaven

By Cathy Eck

 

Initiation was All About the Mind

People are surprised to learn that one of the best patterns of initiation is the story of Jesus.  No one knows for sure if Jesus was real or if he was simply the initiation poster child.  He’s not a big character in history books of his time.  No one has found his body and DNA tested it.  It’s highly possible that his story was just a model for those who wanted to find their way back to perfection.  It’s the perfect story for that purpose if you can see Jesus as an initiate — a man who is letting go of the illusions that he sees within the world.  This enables him to become a Son of God.

Real or not, Jesus said a lot of cool things because his words were truthful.  As an initiate, he understood the difference between true and false.  He didn’t waste words because he knew that words had creative power.

Sadly, Christianity has really distorted his message.  Christians are extremely disrespectful of his teachings.  They did to Jesus what has been done to everything else that fell out of Eden on this planet.  They made his life about physical events and what to do to be labeled good; they took his words out of context to prove themselves right.

Jesus never asked people to become clones of him or to worship him; he asked them to follow him on the path to truth.  When he said, “Follow me,” an initiate would know that he meant to follow his True Self.  He wouldn’t be so stupid as to ask you to follow his false self or play Simon Says.  He hated the religions of his time because they were about beliefs.  He simply wanted people to be their unconditionally loving and powerful True Selves.

He spoke as the True Self so that people would get comfortable listening to the truth.  Hopefully they’d recognize the same voice in themselves and others.  But people took his way of speaking to mean that he was the one and only Son of God.  He clearly told people that God was inside of them, and they could do what he could do.

 

You Can’t Worship Two Masters

When he said, “You can’t worship two masters,” he meant that you can’t be in two minds at the same time.  He could see that part of their mind knew the truth.  While another very strong part was fearfully (and blindly) obedient to the illusion.  They were mixing the two voices (or minds) together instead of seeing them as two different paths with two completely different destinations.  You’ll recognize this as level confusion.

Level confusion is our Achilles’ Heal on the initiate’s path.  The familiar false voices can be very loud.  The collective mind looks powerful.   The illusion survives by mixing true words with false beliefs creating massive inner and outer confusion.

To get out of the false illusion, we have to discriminate and drop our own false beliefs so that we’re left with the pure truth.  Since, you can’t accidentally let go of the truth, you can’t screw up by letting go.  But the false mind won’t tell you that.  It causes people to be afraid of letting beliefs go as if they might accidentally drop a kidney or an ear.

 

Letting the Old Master Go

People start reading my blog or come to me for support because they see the cracks in the illusion.  But they don’t know what to do about what they see.  If they share their observations, they appear to be crazy or anti-social.  The new master (their True Self) is calling them; but the old master is still screaming orders.  Jesus had this issue when he couldn’t do miracles in his hometown.  He had to let go of his own beliefs that his family could hold him back.  He had to move forward toward the truth and ignore the voices in his head from the past.

As we move forward in initiation, our old voices of fear interrogate us.  If I don’t honor the beliefs of my friends, they won’t like me.  If I don’t honor my family’s beliefs, they’ll banish me.  If I don’t honor the beliefs of the political system, I’ll look like a traitor.  If I really behave from my True Self, I won’t look humble.  If I don’t pretend that we have enemies and support the troops, I’ll look like I don’t care about my country.  If I don’t look sorry for those who have created a mess of their life, I’ll look rude or uncaring.  Most of what comes up is some form of, “I’ll look bad.”  The fear of looking bad can be very powerful.  We must remember that the True Self is good (with no opposite).

Jesus looked bad to those vested in the false self of his day; he didn’t fit in.  He sounded strange to the religious and political people.  He found it more comfortable to be with children than adults.  He was angry at the system, the status quo.  Nothing has changed.  If he appeared today, the very religion that was modeled after him would treat him like crap, if they even recognized him.

Often when we see the truth, we get scared and go right back to fitting in.  It’s too much to handle; it’s too scary to be different in this crazy world.  Welcome to the world of initiation.  It looks terrifying.

The false self (which includes religion) tells us that is it protecting us, when it’s really causing all of our problems and destroying our life.  The truth is that every time I’ve let go, I’ve found less fear and less risk in my life.  The false self becomes less powerful as you keep letting go.  Eventually, we crucify the whole thing.  Then we are truly reborn.

 

The deeper meaning of the Golden Rule is found in The Huna Golden Rule.

Blame, Shame, and Guilt: The Illusion’s Superglue

Blame, Shame, Guilt

By Cathy Eck

 

Most of us have been taught to take the blame for things that we didn’t cause when we were stuck in feminine roles.  We’ve been guilted or shamed; and we’ve been taught to please others, especially authority, even if their demands are ridiculous.

Blame, shame, and guilt are the Superglue of the illusion.  They don’t exist in the true world.  Therefore, with some discrimination and wisdom, we can free ourselves from them.

 

Blame

In the true world, there are no roles.  But roles dominate our social structure (the illusion), and that isn’t a problem as long as we honor the natural flow of the energy in the illusory roles we play.  Blame involves a reversal of the natural flow of masculine and feminine roles.

Normally, the masculine energy (intellect) holds the beliefs, and the feminine energy reflects those beliefs.  In blame, the masculine energy says that the cause of the problem lies with the person or people playing the feminine role.  Or sometimes, the person in the masculine role blames another masculine role (like Obama and Bush/Romney).

If we are in a feminine role in the illusion, we cannot be blamed unless the leader wasn’t really leading.  If the masculine role is leading from truth as it should, nothing bad can go wrong.  When things go wrong, it’s the leader’s belief that’s the cause, not the follower’s reflection of the belief.

Only the person in the masculine role can drop the causal belief.  The emotions and wild behavior, that often occurs in the people in the feminine role, are the effect of the false beliefs of the masculine.  When the mind of the authority changes, their feminine reflection changes.  To fix the feminine is to fix the effect.  To blame the feminine is to blame the effect.  It doesn’t make any sense.  But we accept this reversed way of thinking because we’ve been trained to.  Everyone in the illusion is breaking their own mirror.

If you blame the feminine, you can’t solve the problem.  The feminine doesn’t have the responsibility; it’s not the cause.  The child can’t fix their parent’s belief.  The employee can’t fix their CEO’s vision.  Church members can’t fix their preacher’s mind.  Citizens can’t fix their leader’s flawed perspective.  The feminine can leave when they’ve had enough, or they can let go and become the masculine.   Fighting (or war) happens when the feminine has had enough and tries to take the power back from the masculine. Crimes are often committed against someone who reminds the criminal of their hated masculine authority.  To fix problems, the authority, masculine role, must take responsibility, fix their own mental cause, and everything will go back to perfection.  But that almost never happens in the illusion.

Early Bible stories trained our western mind to reverse our natural cause and effect thinking.  Eve (feminine) got blamed for the fall.  Moses (masculine) blames his people (feminine).  When you understand the masculine-feminine relationship in the illusion, you can’t be fooled into taking the blame any longer.

This is also true within ourselves.  When something goes wrong in our life, the cause is in our intellectual masculine mind.  Our emotions are only the messenger — we should never shoot the messenger.  If we let go of our own causal beliefs, our emotions will calm down immediately.  But often our own inner mental masculine, just like outer physical masculine authorities, wants to be right at all cost.

 

Guilt and Shame

Guilt and shame are given to us by authority figures (masculine roles).  No one is born with guilt or shame.

These two emotional states can be difficult to let go because someone else imposed them on us.  Our mind says that we can’t let guilt or shame go; the authority must free us.  Since we’re lower in power (feminine) than the authority (masculine), we think that we don’t have the right or ability to remove the causal belief.  This is a disgusting trick of the false mind.  It can keep us stuck for a whole lifetime.

The True Self is not capable of doing anything wrong because right and wrong comes from the false self.  If we did make mistakes (sins), we did so because we were caught in the illusion, a false self.  We didn’t want a false self; our authorities gave it to us when they taught us their beliefs and said they were true.  Our false self was created in the image and likeness of our false authority figures.

I’ve followed many people’s guilt and shame back to the source; they all lead to a really powerful, but rigid, authority figure (usually religious).  Crime is not caused by evil people.  Crime is caused by the religious-perpetuation of the belief in good and evil and right and wrong. We see it because we believe in it.

 

Freeing Our Mind

In my experience, and I’ve done this hundreds of times, the person who is blaming, shaming, or guilting was projecting their responsibility, negative character trait, or belief on to the person in the feminine role.  Once we take the blame, shame, or guilt, they have no reason to ever fix their problem.  Their mind feels a sort of fake freedom.  That’s why when we let their projection go, they often react with lots of emotion.  That’s their problem. When you drop blame, shame, or guilt from your mind, your True Self can breath again.

If you are someone who thinks others should be blamed or shamed or guilted, you probably aren’t reading this blog.  But just in case you are, remember that when you point the finger at another, three fingers are pointing back at you.  The cause is within your mind; and if you let go, they won’t reflect you anymore.  Letting go is always win-win for everyone.

How to Get to Win-Win When You Feel Powerless

right and wrong

We can fight forever over who is right and who is wrong; but it’s moving to win-win that ends the battle.

By Cathy Eck

 

Feeling Powerless

People often believe that they can’t get to win-win because they seem powerless in a situation.  This is common for people who let go.  Authority figures often have a smaller perspective than we do.  It’s painful to live or work in their shadow.

Most humans believe that the goal of life and relationships is to prove that their perspective is right or good even when it’s harmful or limiting to others.  While everyone wins with a win-win perspective, if we make win-win the right perspective, battles erupt.  Usually the winner is the one with the most powerful role (the authority playing the masculine role) or the most battle toys.

The one in authority rarely gives up their competitive advantage.  We all must learn how to get to win-win from the seemingly powerless feminine role. This is the true essence and biggest challenge of initiation.  It creates invisible leaders who make everything right without guns, protests, or even charitable contributions.

 

An Example

Jane works as a server in an upscale restaurant known for fine customer service.  Her boss is a real jerk, and no one would deny that.  Jane is a top-notch employee.  Her customers always ask for her.  She receives excellent tips, and her reviews are stellar.  Jane’s boss doesn’t value the customers or employees.  He’s completely disorganized and unfair.  Jane would quit, but she loves her job and her loyal customers.

Most people in Jane’s situation would feel like a victim.  They would feel powerless to change the situation and probably spend a lot of time whining and complaining about their boss to friends and family. This is clearly the normal response, but it isn’t effective.  This response doesn’t change anything.  In fact, it makes it worse.  Every time Jane complains about her boss, she’s giving him more power.  She’s unconsciously admitting that his beliefs have power over her.

She could fight with him and try to prove him wrong.  But again she’s giving his beliefs power.  Since he’s the authority, he’s likely to win.

The truth is that anything that’s false has no power at all except that which we give it.  If we truly see the other person’s beliefs as false, then why argue.  They don’t have any power.  We argue because we believe their perspective or position has power.  If they agree with us, they believe they’ve lost even if the outcome is win-win; false selves hate to lose.

If Jane lets go of every belief that gives power to her boss’s perspective, she’ll gain all of her power back.  If she truly reaches this place of clarity; she’ll connect to her boss’s True Self.  They will reach a win-win settlement possibly without even speaking a word.  Often the other person suddenly does things your way, and they are happy to do so; letting go bypasses their win-lose false self.  Obviously wielding such power demands complete integrity.

 

Jane’s Possible Beliefs:

My boss is a jerk.

I’m powerless to change this situation.

This isn’t fair.

I do a good job but get no reward.

No one appreciates my hard work.

I should be treated better.

My boss doesn’t like me.

I don’t know what to do.

I can’t win no matter what I do.

 

Moving Out of Right and Wrong

When our mind is thinking this way, we’re powerless even if everyone agrees that we’re right.  Being right has no more power than being wrong in the illusion.  What has power in the illusion is the mask of authority.  All of the above beliefs generate emotion, proving they’re just beliefs.  None of them are true (even though they are the current reality).  Our current reality is always generated by our past beliefs.  To change reality, we need to let go of the causal beliefs even if we got them from the person we’re fighting.

Right and wrong live at the bottom of the triangle; win-win lives at the top  — the realm of the True Self.  Even if we are on the side of right, we lose in right and wrong because the bottom of the triangle is actually lose-lose.  At its best, living from the false self is an upscale prison.

If Jane lets go of these beliefs and stands in the truth, knowing that she loves her job, always does her best, and is loved by her customers, she’ll be more powerful than her boss’s position or beliefs.  He’ll have to move into win-win.  If he can’t or won’t, he’ll leave the situation because he’ll be stuck with his own emotions.  The discomfort will push him out of the situation naturally.  Authority wins in the illusion because the authority’s facade of power gives them the right to project their emotions, which are caused by them holding false beliefs in their mind, on to those below them (in feminine roles).  This makes them look more powerful and right than they are; feeling their emotions causes us to be unable to discriminate clearly.

The initiate understood that opponents exist to expose beliefs.  If an authority can pull us into their web, they are exposing beliefs that we can let go.  Since the initiate’s goal was a free mind with no beliefs, they welcomed opponents as tests that proved they were masters of letting go.

 

In Summary:  

If we stand completely in our True Self, holding no anger, resentment, or beliefs about the other or ourselves, we’ll win and the other person(s) will win too.  We’ll become invisible leaders and change the world.   This process is completely harmless, totally organic, and absolutely fair.

We won’t change the world by changing the minds of the false leaders, protesting, raising money, or winning wars.  We’ll change the world by letting go of the beliefs the leaders and authorities use to control us.  Truth, fairness, and love will ultimately win.

 

 

Intimidation and Interrogation Exposed

Control Dramas

By Cathy Eck

Control Dramas

In James Redfield’s, “The Celestine Prophecy”  the characters discover that there’s a power battle among humans for energy.  There are four major control dramas that people use to steal power from others.  Those four control dramas are intimidation, interrogation, aloofness, and victimhood (poor me).

These four control dramas are the master tools of the false self.  To free ourselves from playing any of them, we must first excavate the ones we cannot see within our own mind.

Intimidation and interrogation are assertive masculine control energies.  They come from our male side, but women also have a male side.  Aloofness and victimhood are receptive feminine energies.  But again, men have a feminine side.  The drama we choose is dependent on our role, not our sex.

When someone wants power over another, they intimidate them with beliefs and threats, or they interrogate them with unanswerable questions.  The recipient of the masculine power-play either backs away (aloofness) or whines and vents (victimhood).

Intimidation generally causes victimhood, and interrogation causes aloofness.  These matched pairs made in hell sit at the bottom of the triangle.  To let them go, we must let go of both sides of the pair even though we’re usually only aware of one side.  The other side is played by another person.

If we appear aloof, we have both intimidation and aloofness within our mind.  We identify with only one side in any given interaction based on our masculine or feminine role.  To see the other side, we have to look at our partner in crime.

 

Intimidation and Interrogation

Intimidators bully others.  They use rules, the false God’s way of thinking, or out-of-context Bible verses for their justification.  They’re never in win-win, and what they say never feels good.  If they were aware of their emotions, they’d notice them screaming.  But they’re completely rooted in their intellect.  So the emotions usually show up in the object of their attention.

The natural response to intimidation is victimhood.  However, master intimidators play both sides of the mask.  When they’re intimidating another, they’re right.  When another beats them at their logic, they’re a victim.  They’re always on the good side; anyone who opposes them is bad.  Intimidators train their children to be intimidators or victims by demanding that they meet their standards of good.

Interrogators ask questions that can’t be answered or don’t accept any answer as right.  I used to try to answer interrogator’s questions.  Then I realized that they didn’t want answers; they wanted me to waste my energy trying to answer them.  Master interrogators don’t answer questions — they’re aloof and believe the other has no right to ask.  

Intimidation gets people to follow stupid rules.  Intimidators are big on reward and punishment.  People who’ve been raised by intimidators often become overly complementary; they stroke egos out of fear.

Interrogation starts when we’re young, and we reflect our parents baggage.  While swimming in their thought soup, we do something they detest.  We are mirroring the part of their mind that they can’t see.  They say, “Why did you do that?”  We don’t know because we’re mirroring them.  People with strong interrogators early in life often compensate by becoming lawyers or policemen so they can get it out in an appropriate way.  Others become permanent students believing they must find the answer or they’ll die.

 

Using Intimidation and Interrogation

Intimidation and interrogation can actually be useful in helping us to undo our own false self.  I learned from a master interrogator and a genius intimidator that arguing didn’t work, great logic didn’t work, and running didn’t work.  But turning inward WORKED.

I had to get rid of their voice in my own mind.  Before someone intimidates us the first time, they install a belief that they have authority to do so.  Before the interrogator asks the first question, they install the belief that they have the right to. After the causal belief is installed, we’re fully in their mental world playing the role they want us to play.  By the time, we’re old enough to step out of their world, our mind has both control dramas within it.  Circumstances and relationships demonstrate this, but often we cling to one side because if offers the best chance of winning or looking good.

As I witnessed my feelings looking for the causal belief, it was the intimidator or the interrogator in my life whose voice was speaking.  My fear of them caused me to put their rulebook of beliefs in my mind so I could avoid their wrath.  There was no mean God; but there were mean men (and occasional mean woman playing a male role) in my life.

When I found a belief that pretended it was true, I turned my inner intimidator and interrogator loose on it.  If an intimidator originally put the belief in, I intimidated the hell out of that belief.  I let it know it had no power.  If necessary, I interrogated my belief and asked it why it thought I needed it.  Then I’d tell it how wrong it was.  You see, you say all the things to the belief that you want to say to the person.  Once your mind is free; the other can’t run their control drama on you.  You’ll see it for what it is, and you might be able to help them undo their control dramas.

Now my false self was working for my True Self.  Instead of an annihilation, letting go became more like a clean up job.  My True Self felt supported, powerful, and loved.  That was what counted.  I’d been looking for support and love all my life outside, when what I really wanted was my own false self to support my True Self.

In win-win, both people move closer to their True Selves.  Therefore, when any false self loses power, it’s win-win although you probably won’t get a thank you card.  When people’s control dramas stop working, they stop using them.

 

 

How Do You Know What is True?

Truth or lies

By Cathy Eck

 

What is True?

In a world where false selves have become near clones of True Selves, it’s hard to determine what is true.  Often a strongly opinionated false self stands in our way, and we feel that our True Self is powerless.  That’s a moment where letting go pays big dividends.

There are multiple ways to discriminate between true or false.  Did an idea really come from God (as people claimed) or did it simply come from a very convincing human mind a long time ago?  False beliefs tend to look true as time passes.  The initiate’s job is to discriminate clearly and unfailingly.

So here is a summary of four ways to tell what is true.  They aren’t always quick and easy.  Sometimes you have to work a process for a while to see through the illusion.  Those who are winning the illusion are usually masters at manipulating these tests of truth.

 

Truth has no opposite

The triangle process is invaluable in determining what is true.  But what happens when a false self sees us as their enemy?

They’ll lose their steam when you recognize that they’re only seeing their reflection in you.  True Selves are like pure mirrors, which is why we all got pulled into the illusion as children.

So let go by rejecting their projection (beliefs) as false within your own mind.  The KEY is to work on your mind and ignore the other’s.  Too often we waste our energy because we get caught up in convincing or fighting the other.  When your mind is clear, if you need to say something, it will be inspired and true.

 

How Does it Feel?

This is my personal favorite what is true test.  Our emotions always relate to our own thoughts unless someone is speaking at us; then they relate to what we are hearing.  If everyone only said things that they ran through the how-does-it-feel test, the world would change dramatically for the better.  But this test is tricky because some people have twisted emotions due to religious or cultural brainwashing, called psychological reversal.

Recently, I saw a revealing BBC documentary called “The Most Hated Family in America” about the Westboro Baptist Church.  Below is a segment on YouTube displaying psychological reversal on steroids; I’ll warn you it’s very hard to watch.

Notice how these church members are speaking hateful words while smiling.  Their mouths are running automatically as programmed.  Their emotions are projected out to a target; so they’re not feeling them.  They’re thinking about their false God smiling on them, not the pain they’re causing others.  In fact, they believe they’re helping others to see the truth and mend their evil ways.

Most of us have less offensive psychological reversals.  But we have them.  Psychological reversals keep us stuck in right and wrong, good and evil.  They’re the master trick of the false self because they negate our God-given emotional barometer.  Blame is nearly always involved in psychological reversals.

 

Is it Win-Win?

This was my first what is true discovery.  When I had my business, I decided one day, that I would rather go bankrupt than ever do anything again that wasn’t completely win-win.  I started thinking carefully about everything I did, and I realized that I was changing into someone I actually liked.  I slept better, my mind was calmer and quieter, and my body was relaxed.

But it’s a tricky test.  People will say, “I’m win-win.  They’ll win if they do it my way.”  That isn’t how it works.

Imagine that you are the king of the world, and you get to choose the diet of every person on earth; you choose vegan because research shows it is healthy so you assume it must be true.  Now, I want you to go to northern Alaska in winter and be vegan.  You see, regardless of how reasonable it sounds to you, it doesn’t work for everyone.  So it isn’t true; it is merely a personal choice.  But you won’t see that unless you expand your sphere of influence.  The best answer would be something like “I want people in my world to eat what they are inspired to eat and enjoy eating.”  That is win-win.

We lose our win-win perspective when we limit our sphere of influence.  We have to remember that our thoughts contribute or contaminate everyone in the world in some small way.

 

What is True Works for All Time

This will sound funny to people trying desperately to live in the present moment.  But the Truth works in the past, present, and future.

When I was in college, I lived in a co-ed dorm for a year.  I was in my room studying with the door open on a Saturday night.  A gang of about ten young boys came in my room, locked the door, and told me to strip for some gang sex.  I calmly looked at them and said in a very stern voice, “You are thinking about now, the present moment, and you can have fun with me.  But what about tomorrow when you are a criminal?  What about the rest of your life?  Do you want to be a criminal and ruin your life?”  They got up and walked out the door.  Criminals always live in the present fueled by a contaminated past.

The truth works for the past, present, and future.  All three timeframes become perfect when you see them through the authentic eyes of the True Self.  Staying in the present is about enlightenment.  Being in all time is about total freedom, which includes enlightenment.

These are the big four.  True thinking passes all the tests.  When you find the true perspective, the initiates would say that you’re thinking like the creator God.  I promise you that you’ll want more.  It is pure unconditional love, and it is within you.

If something doesn’t test true in any of these, you’re not at the truth yet.  Keep trying.  It’s worth it.

 

 

 

Standing Up For Your True Self

The north star is your true Self.

By Cathy Eck

 

More Level Confusion

A topic came up in a recent mentoring session, and it is a real goldmine.  Understanding how to stand up for your True Self can take years off your journey. Before I unraveled this confusion in myself, I felt as if I were living in hell.  It is yet another tricky form of level confusion.

 

The True Self

Your True Self is the part of you that is true, unchangeable, and eternal.  It has no opposite.  When you are being your True Self, life flows; you feel on purpose and invincible.  If you’ve not been in this place for a long time because you’ve been on sabatical in the illusion, it shows up as a longing.  Some common words that describe this state are freedom (my favorite), peace, beauty, unconditional love, truth, wisdom, creativity, joy, and infinity.

Your True Self is not about what you do.  It is the part of us that must lead the way.  When I’m free, anything I do is joyful.  When my True Self isn’t leading the way, whatever I do is hard work.  Life from the True Self perspective is inspired.  There are no decisions, no shoulds, no practices, no techniques or tools necessary to get you going or make life work.

In the words of Lady Gaga, “You were born this way.”  This is your NORTH STAR.  If you look in the sky, the north star is constant, fixed.  It doesn’t move.  To the ancient stargazers, it was immortal because it didn’t come and go (birth and death) like the other characters in the sky.

 

The Illusion

The illusion is a world of opposites, and most of us are born to people who are already card carrying members of the illusion.  They are firmly entrenched in the false self.  They long for their True Self, but they view that longing as impossible to achieve;  if religious, they believe they’ll see their True Self when they die in heaven.

Your bouncing new True Self looks beautiful to them at birth when you are helpless and submissive, but as it starts to rub against their illusion, it slowly looks like something to be fixed.  So they start to teach you to fit in their perspective.  Some people adjust pretty well; others never adjust.

Those who adjust and even come to like the illusion (often because they believe they are winning) don’t want out.  Others see it as wrong to leave the illusion, like it is cheating at life.  Some feel that a good life on earth means hell after death.  Those are all lies that can be let go.

In the illusion, people follow dreams and desires too.  But those false desires have opposites.  For example, a young child loves getting attention; they become an actor.  Their desire is attention, and they get it.  But they can’t turn it off when they go to the grocery store.  They hate the paparazzi.  They miss having a peaceful life, the True Self.  Our True desires have no opposite, no downside.

False self desires are usually about fixing an insecurity or lack.  People desire money because they believe in lack.  They desire approval because they feel insignicant, bad or unworthy.  If you fix the cause, false desires disappear.

 

Standing Up For Your North Star

Once you know your True Self (North Star), you must stand up for it until you escape the illusion.  During that time, all the events and metaphorical personalities that convinced you that your True Self was impractical, out-of-this-world, problematic, bad, wrong, or just plain selfish will come out of hiding to pull you back.  You must face this personal apocalypse as you stand up for your True Self.

Most people use false self techniques and go to battle, but they never win.  They just wear out and die.  You stand up for your True Self by letting go of anything that another says or does that doesn’t feel good.  The others are only playing a role assigned by your false self so it can stay in power.  They are showing you the beliefs you still have in your mind that are blocking your True Self.  In truth, they are doing you a favor.

Here is where many people get caught.  You commit to total freedom, and suddenly your mother becomes a Christian Fundamentalist.  She wants you to get saved. Getting saved soothed her fear of hell, but it feels horrible to you.  That is all the proof you need that she acted from a false self belief.  But you say no, and she lays on the guilt.  Now you are confused.  You don’t want to hurt or disrespect your mother, but you don’t want to join her religion.  It may even appear that denying her request is imposing your beliefs on her.

Saying no upsets her because it exposes her belief in hell.  She soothed her belief with another belief; but now that you won’t honor her soothing belief, the causal belief is raw and in her face.  Some part of her knows that she hasn’t really fixed the problem, but she doesn’t know how to let go.  She wants to blame you for her emotions.  If you take the blame, you drown with her.  When two people are drowning, no one gets saved.  You must stand up for your True Self and allow her to join you or not.

You must recognize that hell is not true; it doesn’t feel good.  If you believe her or obey her, you’ll both lose.  If she lets go of her causal belief in hell, she’ll also be free.  The key is to notice which person offers the true win-win.  Fixing emotions is never a win.  Her religion adds beliefs to your mind; your freedom frees her mind.  Win-win is the perfect bridge to the True Self.  It is the key to standing up for our True Self.

 

All roads lead to the notion of good and evil, read more here.