Labels: The Seeming True Self Destroyer (Part II)

Pride humility judgment tolerance

By Cathy Eck

 

Victimhood and Victories

Labels create invisible prisons.  Sometimes the cell walls are imposed by others (discussed in Part I).  But often, people hold on to labels even though they’re destroying or imprisoning themselves.

Individuals and cultures hold on to victories and victimhood affecting their perspectives.  We’re all victims of the illusion — perpetrators and victims are just roles relabeled victor upon winning and victim upon losing.  Both hold on to their labels; therefore, history repeats itself.  Battles on all levels are simply the meeting of opposing beliefs.  The one who is least emotional will win.  The True Self can’t lose because at that state of mind, we have no beliefs or emotions.

The victorious hold on to their superior label because they perceive it gives them power.  Too often, the perks of victimhood are just too delicious.  The victim often becomes the perpetrator when they won’t let go because they perpetually punish the victor in their mind.

 

Heroism

True heroism is beyond labels.  Fighting a war or doing what most believe impossible is heroism in the illusion.  In truth, letting go takes far more courage and compassion, but you’ll never be labeled a hero for letting go.  A hero requires an enemy.  There are no enemies outside the illusion.  Batman isn’t needed without the Joker.

The illusion rewards and disempowers us at the same time.  We applaud someone who says: “I’m a recovering drug addict.”  At the same time, they’re told they’ll fight that battle for life.  Habits exist because the cause persists.  We didn’t create the cause; we simply believed the illusion just like everyone else.

Positive labels, like hero or survivor, feel good until we realize that good labels are false and have no lasting power to protect us.  Positive emotions keep us trapped just like those we label negative.  We love rags-to-riches and hero stories.  But to maintain the hero label, we must keep the poverty or opposition in our mind as a potential. One day the opponent or problem we thought we defeated could gain enough strength to return.  Letting go provides the safety that we think we can only get from heroism and winning.

 

Pride

Pride creates seductive labels that are often hard to let go.  A good example is the American bumper stickers that say, “My kid’s an honor student.”  Parents love them; most kids hate them.  Next grading period the kid doesn’t make honor roll.  Now they have to look at that fucking bumper sticker everyday and remember how they were special because of something they did, not who they are.

Titles are another form of label.  Doctor, General, Queen, or Pope are professions, but people use the titles to define superiority and inferiority based on knowledge, position, or pedigree.  The titles don’t belong outside the office.  We aren’t our jobs.

One who fears pride tends to avoid saying anything good about themselves.  They develop false humility that keeps them artificially small.  There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I got the Nobel Peace Prize.”  Everyone will be happy for us unless they have jealousy issues.  But if years later, we introduce ourself by saying, “I’m John, Nobel prize winner,” at a cocktail party where it’s out of context, then pride has come to stay.  Pride causes us to hold on to labels instead of letting them go and discovering who we really are.  When we make our career, college, team, nationality, or children’s accomplishments matter more than who we are, we’re screwed.

 

Judgments

Judgments are permanent labels.  Judging another creates false superiority by placing us in the masculine role.  But superiority is illusory.  The judge is just as locked in the illusion as the person they’re judging.  The pair now have an unhealthy false-self connection.  Judges are certain they’re right; some hold the other on the hook forever.  They choose false-self rightness over being their True Self.  The True Self views opposition as false and powerless.  There’s no need to punish or forgive; letting go is all that’s necessary.

It’s never too late to let go of judgment.  People have freed me of judgments without saying a word.  I could feel it.  When we hold another on the hook, we hold ourselves on the hook.  When another won’t free us, we feel that they’re in our mind or body.  The emotions feel endless.

Those emotions will leave if we recognize the judgement against us was false.  But we won’t do that if we fear the judge might be right.  We might need the judge.  Or we maybe we think our emotional connection with the judge is love.

Someone who constantly labels us with, “You are…” doesn’t love us.  Judging isn’t love.  We’re simply a good projection screen for them so they don’t have to own, fix, or suffer the consequences of their beliefs.  We’re an enabler if we allow them to continue to project on us.

When we let go of our feminine role in their life, we see that.  This took me so long to learn this lesson.  If the judge wants the truth, they’ll hear us.  If not, we’ll join the ecstatically joyous divorcees’ community.  We’ll realize we’d rather be happy and homeless than spend another day working for an authoritarian ass.  We’ll leave our religion for a breath of fresh air.  When we escape our handlers, we catch a whiff of the heaven on earth that the handler promised but never delivered.

“The false masculine role always tells us that we’re doing to them what they’re actually doing to us.”  Most people are on the receiving end of that giant illusory error because they’re stuck in false feminine roles.  The false masculine role has become far too proficient at the projection of labels.  Don’t wait for them to change.  Step out of the role as their mirror by letting go.  When there’s no one left to project on, the game will end.

 

 

 

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part IV)

We aren't victims

By Cathy Eck

 

Here are a few more tips on escaping the role of victim forever.  You might want to read Part I, Part II, and Part III first.

No one is a victim of another — that’s the illusion.  We’re all victims of the illusion, until we escape.  

Remember that any benefits you get from living a victim role are so small compared to what you’ll receive from freedom.  The escape isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it.

 

Judgment Vs. Discrimination

A victim confuses judgment and discrimination.  (I’ve written about that here).  We must get to the place where our feminine side doesn’t believe others that judge us because their words feel bad — so they aren’t true.  We also have to get to the place where we stop judging others (masculine side).  We must realize that if we have an untrue belief about another, we’re generating emotions in our body and feeding our false self.

Even Hitler had a pure True Self; unconditional love means that we let go of what we see in him so we can remember who he really is.  What you then realize is that when you only see unconditional love in another, they can’t hurt you.  But you can’t fake it until you make it.  You must get to the place of unconditional love by honest letting go, not mental gymnastics.

 

Sympathy

The victim has been trained to be sympathetic rather than compassionate (more here).  Sympathy causes us to take on the unwanted beliefs of others when we choose to entrain with their emotions.  The victim is emotional because they hold beliefs in mind instead of truth.  When we entrain with their emotions, we get their beliefs in our mind as a bonus.  We’re told sympathy is good by the illusion because it perpetuates our false selves.  Once we’ve sympathized with others, and destroyed our life, we expect others to join us in misery.  But someone has to say “NO MORE.”  We have to move to compassion.

Compassion has the balls to say, “Let go. The Emperor is naked.”  Compassion tells the truth fearlessly.  Compassion helps everyone.  Sympathy helps NO ONE.

 

A Victim Looks for Reasons, Not Causes

If I had a dime for every time I heard reasons why someone was a victim… oh Lordy I’d be a rich woman. Victims have minds that make up reasons, and they believe their own ridiculous reasons.  This is how we get pissed off fairies, evil aliens, judgmental Gods, Satan, curses, rituals to fix the curses, evil illuminati, and much more.  The victim is never the cause.  The reason is always someone or something else.  The reasoning enables them to project their emotional pain outside of them, and projection keeps people very stuck.  Most people are victims of their own projections.  If we look inward and find the real cause, the projected evil reasons disappear.

Victims often ask questions like, “Why did this happen to me?”  Their mind answers and gives them utter bullshit, and that utter bullshit has strong emotions attached to it.  They’ve already been psychologically reversed to believe that something that feels bad is true, so they believe their own lying mind.  They even think it’s God talking or some spirit guide or dead avatar.  The mind is like a tape recorder.  It simply repeats what was recorded earlier in their mind, in other’s minds, or the collective mind.

The True Self’s advice is always perfect for us.  We get to the True Self advice by letting go of the false advice until we get the perfect answer that feels calm, clear, and right.  It’s win-win for everyone.

 

The Victim Thinks Success Is Ego

When people are successful at something, it’s because they don’t have an ego, not because they do.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  Often they succeed with their True Self, and then the false self takes the credit in time.  But ego or false self is what keeps us from fulfilling or dropping our desires.  Thus religion and new age are filled with EGO while telling us they’re getting rid of it.  You can’t fix the false self, you can only let it go.  Most teachers today are either projecting their false self on their followers or floating above it.  They are clone minds, not True Selves.

When we’ve been judged for our success, we often start to resist the fulfillment of desires.  I made this mistake for years.  Not achieving desires felt better than the judgment I got for succeeding from my religious family and friends.  We must learn that what someone says in judgment feels bad because it’s false.  I eventually realized (after much letting go work) that they were just showing me their false self.

The entire Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is the Ego or false self — not just the evil part.  THIS IS KEY! Knowledge is getting truth or lies from the outside instead of from within us.  We learn good and evil from other people (authorities).  When we listen to anyone who says something that doesn’t harmonize with our True Self, we’re stuck in false self, eating from the wrong fucking tree.

 

Meekness

“The meek shall inherit the earth” doesn’t mean the poor will get God’s blessing.  I was terrified of this belief when I was stuck in the illusion.  Now it’s very clear.  It means when you let go of the competitive, fighting, win-lose, good-evil false self, you don’t have to fight with anyone anymore.  You get the whole earth without removing your ass from your chair — unless inspired to do so. 

So being a victim doesn’t make you meek and heaven bound.  It makes you false self bound in hell.  It makes you a pawn of the illusion, not God’s beloved child.  When you see that, you won’t want to be a victim anymore.  And when you no longer want your inner victim, you kick its royal ass out of your mind forever.

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part III)

victim, perpetrator, hero in prison

By Cathy Eck

 

This post is a continuation of Part I and Part II.

 

The False Mind Can’t See the True Perpetrator

The master isn’t the slave’s enemy — although it looks that way within the illusion.  Religion and cultural beliefs are our real enemies because those beliefs pull us into the illusion, usually when we’re too young to discriminate.  Once we’re enslaved, there are no exits because the illusion isn’t a place; it’s a perspective.  We can’t exit the illusion with physical action.  Physical actions only change the illusion.  

When were enslaved, we’re trained to focus on action.  If we can’t think of an appropriate action, we see ourselves as victims of situations we believe are beyond control.  But there’s NO victim that can’t go mentally within, see the causal belief, and let it go — if only they knew how.  That’s the action that’s needed.  This information was hidden from the masses.  If it became popular, the illusion would die very quickly;  everyone would be free.

Slavery or bondage of any form is a mental trap that causes the physical trap.  If our mind has been brainwashed to follow false leaders (authority figures), we’ll feel compelled to follow them all.  If we’re taught that life is suffering, we won’t try to escape.  Why bother?  Better the suffering we know than the suffering we don’t.  If we think that our problems are karmic, we’ll accept them blindly.  Fear of God’s judgment is huge.  I found the belief in my false mind that if I obeyed others, I’d look innocent to the judging God.  If I obeyed my True Self, and I was wrong, I wouldn’t have anyone to blame.  WTF?  Blame is another trap.

Belief in cursing (Voodoo) was probably a major belief that enslaved African people.  The Puritan ethic (hard work as virtuous) keeps people stuck in dead end jobs working for billionaires.  Hitler and the Jews both BELIEVED they were chosen.  It’s not that simple of course.  But there’s always a strong common belief between the good and the evil.

 

The Mechanics

When I was in college, about ten big high school football players came into my dorm room one Saturday night when everyone else was out partying.  They shut the door and told me it was time for gang rape.  I stood up, sat their asses on my bed like a school teacher, and proceeded to lecture them.  Looking back, I stepped into the masculine role; and I won the war when I calmly said something like, “You’re gonna make your mamas cry.  Your mamas will be so ashamed of you boys when they put you in jail.”  It worked.  They got up and walked out.  

You see, I took away what they wanted.  They didn’t want sex; they wanted to remove their emotions (their inner feminine) that reminded them of their belief that they were powerless.  We hate our emotions if we fear they’ll never go away.  They would if we used them properly.

Those boys were trying to project their powerlessness on to me.  I didn’t accept their projection.  I gave it right back to them.  Without my acceptance of their projection; they went back to being powerless victims of whoever had victimized them.  I wasn’t the cause of their problem; and I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the effect of it.  And yet, I didn’t understand what really happened at that time.  After years of letting go of beliefs, I again remembered the experience, and it was now obvious why it worked.

 

The Excitement Trap

Perpetrator and victim both tend to follow their emotions, especially excitement, hope, romance.  They imagine false desires that will eliminate their emotions, pain, and suffering.  We label excitement a good emotion, but there’s no such thing.  Emotion always means that what we’re thinking right now is false — it’s not right for us — it’s not true.  It’s probably not even our own thought.   Victim and perpetrator both tend to follow excitement into addictions of sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, or food.  Often they are drawn to traditions, memorializing, and ceremony to keep their victimhood alive and kicking.

Since I didn’t yet feel responsible for other people’s emotions, the boys couldn’t project that on me.  In time, however, I’d lose my clarity thanks to the New Age movement, a husband who was a people pleaser and took pride in being responsible for making others happy, and a few zingers from my false mind that I didn’t see coming.

Ancient occult teachings said that emotion has attracting power.  That’s correct in the illusion.  Emotions are magnetic.  Sex, drugs, rituals, and even song and dance created an emotional high attracting whatever the occultists wanted, much like charismatic religions today.  But this is improper use of emotion.  The occult message was reborn with psychics, inspired speakers and preachers, and channels of the New Age; people believe these channels just like people believed the prophets in the Old Testament.  It seems that they want to share the truth, but don’t feel anyone will listen to them or fear punishment.  They declare a special purpose or calling.  They do speak mostly the truth, but when we hear the truth from another who’s fearful of being their True Self, it’s worthless knowledge.  Someone who fears being themselves, can’t help us be ourselves.

The illusion is like a battery; it needs recharging.  Old tricks are reused; and we falsely believe that history repeats itself.  In order to confuse us, this occult world was also often labeled initiation.  It produced powerful people who win in the illusion, but aren’t free of it.

True Initiation was a long process of bringing back the initiate’s discrimination by pushing them to let go of any thought that had “good” or “bad” emotional magnetism.  In time, the person had eyes to see and ears to hear.  They healed the curse of religion and were no longer a slave or victim.  They were called free, saved, or born again.

 

 

 

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part II)

Predators and prey

By Cathy Eck

 

For part I, click here.

 

Getting Unstuck

Unraveling victimhood requires understanding how we got stuck in it in the first place.  The intricacies of the illusion need to be exposed; but until recently, exposing the illusion meant a short life or lots of torture.  I faced those fears every day in the early stages of writing this blog.

The illusion lives on because we can’t see the cause of the problems in our lives.  We’re all victims of magical slight of mind.  We’re told to look outward to people who aren’t the true cause instead of inward to our beliefs because the illusion needs believers.  Remember the word belief contains the word “LIE” within it.

When we fix effects instead of the cause of anything, the problems keeps repeating.  A perpetrator shows up in our life as the effect of our own causal beliefs.  But I know, it doesn’t look that way when we’re in it.  The cause is never outside.  In addition, nothing is incurable; but we must find the causal belief.

Victim, perpetrator, and rescuer are all different forms of masculine and feminine roles playing off of each other.  In truth, there are no roles.  They’re all illusory.  We’re also trained to see the feminine role as powerless.  That training is very difficult to break.  Victim is generally a feminine role; however, some victims are actually perpetrators in disguise.  As people have become smarter, they’ve become better players of the illusion game.

When we’re free of beliefs, no one can trigger us — we remain calm and peaceful all the time.  If I say to you, “You’re an elephant.”  You’ll laugh.  You know you aren’t an elephant.  If I say, “You’re stupid.”  You might believe me.  Your mind will search for times you were stupid.  I’ve triggered your belief that you can be stupid.  If you let that belief go, you’ll not be bothered by my comment.  You’ll laugh because you know it’s false.  This is key; I’m only a perpetrator if you believe what I say.  Otherwise, I’m a comedian.

 

Enlightenment Defined

The difference between tragedy and drama is drama has less beliefs.  The difference between drama and comedy is comedy has less beliefs.  As we let go, we laugh more.  We become lighter; we enlighten.  When we have NO beliefs, we can’t be tricked or triggered by others.  We stay light.

We’re often shocked at the beliefs that arise in our mind as we witness our emotions.  We never consciously accepted most of these beliefs.  We suddenly realize how heavy our thinking is.

I often hear,  “I wasn’t raised in religion; yet I’m finding religious beliefs in my mind. How did they get in there?”  I was shocked by this too.  As I let go, I become aware of the person who gave me the belief.  The mystery does start to unravel.  Letting go causes us to break false-self connections with people who gave us beliefs.   Consequently, people fear they’ll lose someone if they let go of their shared beliefs.  Often they feel strong resistance from the other as they try to let go.  If we keep letting go, we’ll eventually have only a True Self connection with people — just unconditional love.

We got beliefs by being born to people who had them even if they didn’t talk about them.  Kids are telepathic until at least seven years of age.  We’ve sympathized with religious friends and family.  When we believe another’s problem, we also believe the causal belief that they can’t see.  We fear religious people who impose their beliefs on us.  If we fear something, we believe it.  Or we’ve had a teacher of truth or followed inspirational speakers who float above their beliefs.  Remember, if we’re going to someone for the truth, we believe we don’t have it.  So we make a great projection screen for someone who believes they have the truth, when they don’t.

 

Shared Beliefs

We all have perpetrator-victim within us until we let both roles go.  The master and the slave both believe in slavery.  The slave has an inner master and the master an inner slave.  The criminal and policemen both believe in crime.  Neither can play their role without the other.  They’re like conjoined twins.  They’re both victims of the illusion playing false roles.  That’s why criminals often plead temporary insanity.  They don’t know how they got into the role; but once they did, they played the it like they were going for an OSCAR.

Because of the way we hold masculine and feminine roles in mind, it appears that the slave is stuck in the master’s illusion.  We forget that the master needs the slaves or his desire is thwarted.  The policeman needs criminals.  Doctors need patients.

This is difficult to understand because of our perceptual training.  We’re taught to see doctors as good; they’re serving.  (See comic book truth for more.)  If we drop all belief in disease, we don’t need doctors.  They move from rescuer to perpetrator.

Soldier is a completely illusory feminine role (obedience and sacrifice), yet people sign up to kill because it’s reframed as service and heroism.  Our desire to be seen as good or worthy gets us in victim roles.  The trick wouldn’t work if we let go of the beliefs that say we aren’t good or worthy.

We must ask ourselves, “Why do I feel compelled to play this role?”  The answers we get will all be false; they’re our causal beliefs.  Another good question is, “What is the perpetrator thinking about me?”  Again, whatever answers arise are beliefs, let them go.  You can’t let go of the truth, and our mind is 99.99% bullshit.  So always err on the side of letting go.

Once we strengthen our True Self (our true savior) and weaken our own false self (which has both victim, rescuer, and perpetrator), we can no longer be cast into these illusory roles — we can’t be a victim anymore.

To be continued…

 

 

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part I)

Fish in a Bowl -- victim

By Cathy Eck

 

The hardest thing for people to let go is victimhood.  Victims appear stuck in feminine roles.  Victims always look outward for perpetrators instead of inward to the real cause.  When I convince a victim to let go of the cause within their own mind, their outer perpetrator loses power.  The perpetrator had power because they believed the perpetrator’s beliefs.

 

Reality

We all begin life in a feminine role.  We lack authority and power.  A baby requires someone in a masculine role to care for them.  Consequently, we all associate the feminine role with the powerlessness of childhood.  Our bodies mature, but our minds revert to childhood whenever we’re cast into feminine roles.  We believe we’re powerless — unable to get what we need or want.  We blame the person we think should fulfill our desire, instead of the person who gave us our beliefs.  The illusion survives by making sure victims don’t find or blame the true cause of their victimhood.  In fact, the victim usually  thinks their perpetrator is good or God.

Victims accept false feminine roles in order to look good by flawed standards.   The president declares war on his own enemies and enjoys drinking Dom Perignon while martyrs fight his battles because they believe sacrifice is good.  Billionaires can hire underpaid slaves to do their work because slaves believe hard work is virtuous.  Clergy pass the donation basket and minions drop their last dollar for words that aren’t worth two cents because they believe the Bible is the word of God.  Victims keep illusory machines running; they’re like moths to a flame.  They’re taught that good people sacrifice, work hard, and give when they have nothing to give.  They’re so blindly obedient that they can’t see the flame that’s burning them alive.

 

Win-Lose

I began to question the way life works when I worked for one of the biggest consulting firms in the world in my twenties.  If you’ve seen the movie, “The Wolf of Wall Street,” it’s no exaggeration.  I saw all of that and more.  The wolves see life as a win-lose game; they’re simply good players.  In their mind, if you suck at the game of life, it isn’t their fault.  They view victims as poor losers who give up too easily.  Wolves lie because it works.  They hire cheap labor because people take the jobs. 

During this same time period, I married into a nice Italian Catholic family of sheep.  I lived the life of working and partying all week with the wolves; then I’d visit family and eat communion wafers, hear the same old shit stories over and over again, and watch the same boring rituals and traditions.  They saw life through a lens of good and evil.  They were good and moral.  They saw the wolves I worked for as evil and immoral.   

couldn’t reconcile these two sides of my life.  I didn’t want either.   The wolves partied too much and were never satisfied.   They thought money would buy them freedom and joy, and it never did.  I wanted to be good, but I didn’t want the boredom, misery, and victimhood of sheep.  Clearly, neither had the truth.

 

The Key

Wolves simply do what works in the win-lose illusion.  The wolves respected me because I’d call them on their game — they couldn’t trick me.  Wolves don’t feel immoral anymore than an athlete feels immoral when they win.  They don’t create sheep.  They simply give sheep what they’re asking for — a perpetrator.  

On the other hand, sheep work hard to create more sheep by imposing their beliefs on others, especially children.  They tell others that they’re bad when they’re being their True Self or when they succeed.  They cause people to doubt and ignore their emotions.  They demand blind obedience and won’t answer why questions.  Sheep have power tools — guilt, shame, blame, and fear.  

Sheep told me that I needed to learn to be happy while I suffered.  I couldn’t do that.  Once I got truly happy, the problem causing the suffering vanished.  They were clearly doing something unnatural and making it right, but they said I was a failure at suffering.  WTF?  Their perspective is like Pin the Tail on the Donkey.  They blindfold you, spin you around until you’re dizzy, and then wonder why you can’t find the donkey’s ass.  They eventually break your spirit.  Only then will they say you’re good.  

 

Win-Win

I left the wolves’ den to start my own business, and I found my sweet spot.  If I dealt in win-win terms and worked on my own mind instead of using my will and tricking and manipulating the sheep, I could achieve success without harming others.  I didn’t need to be a wolf.  I shared this with my fellow wolves, and they all joined me.  They were only tricking sheep because they thought they had to.

The positive thinking and new thought movements were attempts by ex-wolves to enlighten sheep.  They revealed the rules of the win-lose game to make things fair.  They put out books like “Think and Grow Rich.”  But giving the sheep the rules of the win-lose game didn’t change anything.  Sheep are stuck in the good and evil game.  They don’t want wolves to go away, they need someone to view as evil.  So many of the wolves said, “Fuck you.  You want wolf.  I’ll show you fucking wolf.”

The wolves had extended the olive branch.  They proved that sheep aren’t victims of wolves in wolves clothing  — we’re born with emotional lie detector systems.  The sheep are victims of wolves in sheep’s clothing — religious and spiritual wolves masked as sheep (masculine roles behaving as if they’re feminine) who teach sheep to turn off their emotional lie detection, blindly obey authority, and ignore their True Self.   Without this psychological reversal, wolves would be powerless.   Sadly, sheep follow shepherds who feed them to the wolves, and the sheep glorify the shepherds for doing it.  .

To be continued…

 

Handling Passive-Aggressive Behavior and Control Dramas

Photo credit:   www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

Photo credit: www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

By Cathy Eck

This post is related to anearlier post on intimidation and interrogation.

Ashamed of our False Self

People might not admit it, but they’re ashamed of their false self.  Now think about that.  If you’re ashamed of something then you think that it’s YOU.  If you think you are your false self, you try to cover it up with something acceptable and nice.  But it’s still there.  Covering up our false self makes it hard to see and much harder to let go.  So as much as we don’t like that evil little monster inside of us, we must see it to let it go.

One of the keys to letting go of the false self is to realize that your false self isn’t you — not even a little bit.  Your false self is a bunch of beliefs.  You weren’t born with any of them.  The false self was created by authority figures in your life.

This recognition supports you in three ways:

First, you recognize that you aren’t letting go of anything important.  You won’t be needing that manure in the future.

Second, you realize that all the horrible stuff you thought you did was done by your false self (which isn’t YOU).  When you no longer fear being bad, you can’t be anything but good.  Now I realize that statement will hurt church donations, but that’s their problem.

Third, you realize that your True Self, which is good, positive, and loving is the real YOU.  It isn’t gone, it’s buried in false self manure.  Letting go is your giant shovel.

 

The “False” True Self

I know that looks like a typo, but it’s not.  When people are ashamed of their seemingly uncontrollable false self, and they don’t know how to let it go, they create a fake True Self to cover it up (which is more false self).  They sound nice and kind, and often have many profound sayings stored in memory.  But their words of wisdom are not original, and they’re usually passive-aggressive.  Their little aggressive duck legs are paddling hard under the surface, but we only see them passively gliding on the water.

Their goal is to gain power in every relationship.  They want power because they aren’t living from their True Self.  The True Self is never looking for power from others; it has unlimited power.

 

Passive-Aggressive Intimidation

I once had a passive-aggressive intimidator in my life.  He didn’t slam me with criticism; he elevated others above me.  Let’s say I was perfecting my lasagna recipe.  He’d say, “Oh this is good.”  (pause)  “My mother makes the best lasagna I ever ate.”  The pretense was that the comments weren’t connected; but they were.  The goal was to get me to feel insecure so he’d retain the power in our relationship.  I rarely responded to his comments because what can you say?  Any response just increased the manure pile.  The pattern worked for him, and so he repeated it frequently; over time, my self esteem eroded.  I developed the belief that no matter how hard I worked at something, others were always going to be better than me.  

I went searching for an answer.  One day I realized that my ability to be great at anything ended after I met him.  Quite frankly, he was just doing to me what had been done to him to erode his self esteem.  People treat others the way they were treated.  Forget the Golden Rule; no one applies it in the illusion.

I realized that his comments weren’t even true; they were an intentional power play.  So I let my belief go.  I was now standing in my True Self.  The game never worked again.

Passive-aggressive personas trick us because we can’t see the aggressive duck feet.  Often you can feel it; or like me, you notice that your self-esteem is fading.  It helps to go back to another time or place outside of the passive-aggressive relationship.  In my case, I went back to a time before our relationship.  That gave me a touchstone to support letting go of my beliefs.

Intimidators are often passive-aggressive.  We don’t catch the aggressive intimidation part, because it’s passively masked by their expertise or authority.  Telling people that they’re sinners and hell bound is first-rate intimidation. Telling someone they’re incurable because you don’t have a cure is worse than intimidation.

My son is a server; yesterday he waited on two priests.  One commented that the menu changed — some items were gone.  My son told him that if he wanted something from the old menu, he would have it special made.  The priest said, “Change is good, my son.”  My son bit his tongue; he wanted to say, “If change is so damn good then why didn’t you change out of your priest robe before coming to a burger joint.”  The priest demonstrated the latest form of subtle passion-aggression. One appears to be offering advice, but the advice isn’t requested or needed.  In fact, it isn’t even relevant.

My son demonstrated the key to freeing yourself from passive-aggressive relationships.  He knew the priest was talking to himself, because he knows that he loves change.  Knowing ourself is the best defense against passive-aggressive behavior.  The priest was the one desperate for change — dah!  The priest couldn’t know my son because his own false veil was covering his eyes.

No one needs to learn the truth; everyone has it inside already.  We only need to see through the illusion and let the false stuff go; then everyone can live from the truth all the time.  I can’t wait for that day.

Because my son could see through the priest’s passive-aggressive mask, he didn’t believe him.  He just got the joke and had a good laugh.

 

Many people get caught in victimhood because of passive-aggresive behavior and turn it into an advantage to stay sane.  But that keeps them stuck.  

Intimidation and Interrogation Exposed

Control Dramas

By Cathy Eck

Control Dramas

In James Redfield’s, “The Celestine Prophecy”  the characters discover that there’s a power battle among humans for energy.  There are four major control dramas that people use to steal power from others.  Those four control dramas are intimidation, interrogation, aloofness, and victimhood (poor me).

These four control dramas are the master tools of the false self.  To free ourselves from playing any of them, we must first excavate the ones we cannot see within our own mind.

Intimidation and interrogation are assertive masculine control energies.  They come from our male side, but women also have a male side.  Aloofness and victimhood are receptive feminine energies.  But again, men have a feminine side.  The drama we choose is dependent on our role, not our sex.

When someone wants power over another, they intimidate them with beliefs and threats, or they interrogate them with unanswerable questions.  The recipient of the masculine power-play either backs away (aloofness) or whines and vents (victimhood).

Intimidation generally causes victimhood, and interrogation causes aloofness.  These matched pairs made in hell sit at the bottom of the triangle.  To let them go, we must let go of both sides of the pair even though we’re usually only aware of one side.  The other side is played by another person.

If we appear aloof, we have both intimidation and aloofness within our mind.  We identify with only one side in any given interaction based on our masculine or feminine role.  To see the other side, we have to look at our partner in crime.

 

Intimidation and Interrogation

Intimidators bully others.  They use rules, the false God’s way of thinking, or out-of-context Bible verses for their justification.  They’re never in win-win, and what they say never feels good.  If they were aware of their emotions, they’d notice them screaming.  But they’re completely rooted in their intellect.  So the emotions usually show up in the object of their attention.

The natural response to intimidation is victimhood.  However, master intimidators play both sides of the mask.  When they’re intimidating another, they’re right.  When another beats them at their logic, they’re a victim.  They’re always on the good side; anyone who opposes them is bad.  Intimidators train their children to be intimidators or victims by demanding that they meet their standards of good.

Interrogators ask questions that can’t be answered or don’t accept any answer as right.  I used to try to answer interrogator’s questions.  Then I realized that they didn’t want answers; they wanted me to waste my energy trying to answer them.  Master interrogators don’t answer questions — they’re aloof and believe the other has no right to ask.  

Intimidation gets people to follow stupid rules.  Intimidators are big on reward and punishment.  People who’ve been raised by intimidators often become overly complementary; they stroke egos out of fear.

Interrogation starts when we’re young, and we reflect our parents baggage.  While swimming in their thought soup, we do something they detest.  We are mirroring the part of their mind that they can’t see.  They say, “Why did you do that?”  We don’t know because we’re mirroring them.  People with strong interrogators early in life often compensate by becoming lawyers or policemen so they can get it out in an appropriate way.  Others become permanent students believing they must find the answer or they’ll die.

 

Using Intimidation and Interrogation

Intimidation and interrogation can actually be useful in helping us to undo our own false self.  I learned from a master interrogator and a genius intimidator that arguing didn’t work, great logic didn’t work, and running didn’t work.  But turning inward WORKED.

I had to get rid of their voice in my own mind.  Before someone intimidates us the first time, they install a belief that they have authority to do so.  Before the interrogator asks the first question, they install the belief that they have the right to. After the causal belief is installed, we’re fully in their mental world playing the role they want us to play.  By the time, we’re old enough to step out of their world, our mind has both control dramas within it.  Circumstances and relationships demonstrate this, but often we cling to one side because if offers the best chance of winning or looking good.

As I witnessed my feelings looking for the causal belief, it was the intimidator or the interrogator in my life whose voice was speaking.  My fear of them caused me to put their rulebook of beliefs in my mind so I could avoid their wrath.  There was no mean God; but there were mean men (and occasional mean woman playing a male role) in my life.

When I found a belief that pretended it was true, I turned my inner intimidator and interrogator loose on it.  If an intimidator originally put the belief in, I intimidated the hell out of that belief.  I let it know it had no power.  If necessary, I interrogated my belief and asked it why it thought I needed it.  Then I’d tell it how wrong it was.  You see, you say all the things to the belief that you want to say to the person.  Once your mind is free; the other can’t run their control drama on you.  You’ll see it for what it is, and you might be able to help them undo their control dramas.

Now my false self was working for my True Self.  Instead of an annihilation, letting go became more like a clean up job.  My True Self felt supported, powerful, and loved.  That was what counted.  I’d been looking for support and love all my life outside, when what I really wanted was my own false self to support my True Self.

In win-win, both people move closer to their True Selves.  Therefore, when any false self loses power, it’s win-win although you probably won’t get a thank you card.  When people’s control dramas stop working, they stop using them.