By Cathy Eck
Masculine Role Teachers
Once we understand the illusion’s roles, letting go becomes easier. New Age teachers, clergy, gurus, and pop psychologists are well meaning, but they don’t understand roles. All the techniques taught in expensive workshops and self-help books came from people who managed to somehow get themselves into the masculine role. The masculine role is funny. You feel enlightened because suddenly the emotion leaves your body; it gets projected on your shadow — your students, employees, children, or followers.
The masculine role was designed so that the power was in the role. That way, one could be a wimpy, little man and rule the world (think Wizard of Oz). The masculine role is blind; they believe the shadow they see is real. It isn’t.
Now you’ve entered a new chapter of life or you wouldn’t be reading this. You’re letting go so you can remember your pure thinking. If you turn your thinking into a system after you remember it, I’ll kick your ass. I’m joking! The True Self has no beliefs to impose on others, and they know everyone has the truth inside them.
Why did you look to those false teachers? You were trained to do so as children. You were raised by people who thought you’d be perfect if you thought like them. That’s the blindness of the masculine role. We learn it; then we do it to others who are feminine to us.
Today’s parents try to self-help their children. They’re fixing their own projection. Kids write to me and beg me to write to their parents. But that’s not my job. They must learn to let go from the feminine role.
Feminine Role Escape
The last thing to give someone in the feminine role is a masculine technique — like affirmations. It won’t work for them. They don’t believe they can change their mind because they’re stuck in a masculine shadow. If they manage to drag that masculine ass to a self-help workshop, the masculine role will question their sanity. The masculine mind views itself as positive and shiny already. They already know this stuff.
The person in the feminine role will emotionally back up like a sewer because they’ll think they must be the problem; they don’t know what they’re doing wrong. Their mind will run in circles. They’ll take responsibility for what’s being projected on them, which gets them nowhere.
Religious parents are masters of the false masculine. The good parent (masculine role) projects their anger on the bad child (feminine role). The kid goes to school and bullies (projects). He gets a taste of the masculine role and does to others what was done to him.
The parents says, “I didn’t cause that.” Yes, they did!
They caused it because they didn’t realize that their child was their shadow reflection. As soon as the child can work his way into the masculine role, he becomes the good masculine and projects until he finds a mate — someone who can play his powerless feminine. Roles aren’t true; but they get passed down from generation to generation as if they’re true. To play the role of our parents feels satisfying because from the child’s point of view, we’ve made it into the role of authority.
Many children psychologically reverse their minds to be good (people pleasers). They learn to do the opposite of what the parents and teachers are projecting. They obey the words, and ignore the projection. They take the parent’s control dramas and turn them into love. They take punishment and turn it into discipline. They often say things like “My parents did the best that they could.” These people will unconsciously repeat the same drama with their children because they’ve relabeled it as good or right. Once psychologically reversed, the illusory world doesn’t look up-side down anymore.
There’s a huge price to pay for psychologically reversing our minds. We can’t experience unconditional love. I was married to a people pleaser. When I finally could unconditionally love him and give him total freedom, he thought I hated him. He was looking for the emotional connection he felt with his family of origin and the earlier version of me, and it wasn’t there anymore. Emotions only exist in false-love connections.
The Exit Ramp
In the exit stage, we redefine roles. We must become a strong and firm masculine leader to those in the illusion (often our parents). We must support truth and expose falsehood. This takes courage.
One Easter, we went to visit my in-laws. One of my children was excited about the candy that was coming since my mother-in-law had been talking it up. Suddenly I heard my mother-in-law reprimanding my child for jumping around. She said, “I’m going to tell the Easter Bunny you’re bad — you don’t deserve candy.” He looked at her so strange. He didn’t believe in the Easter Bunny since I told my kids the truth — that it was a story. But she spoke her words with such conviction that, for a moment, he questioned his truth.
I ran interference for him. I explained to my mother-in-law that she held the Easter Bunny in mind as a lie — a means of control, not a cute story. My son gave her a chance to correct her thinking, and she damn well better take it. I wasn’t mean, but I was firm. I explained to her that kids jump. He wasn’t doing anything wrong; he was reflecting the contrived excitement that she projected on him. She didn’t understand; and I didn’t care. My child felt protected.
People raised in religion are taught that suffering or sacrifice is the way to God. They often got punished as children for doing things that kids do. As parents, they do what was done to them. That’s sad, but it’s still wrong. The best advice I can give any parent is before you discipline your children, take the mote your parent’s gave you out of your own eye.