Freeing Yourself From a False Masculine Authority Figure

Freeing ourselves from roles

By Cathy Eck

 

You left home years ago.  You felt that you were now the creator of your own life. And yet, mom and dad keep showing up. You’ve married or dated them. You’ve seen your older kids acting like them with your younger kids, and you’ve even worked for them. You know their beliefs are false; so why are they still in your life?

We have to approach this problem the same way that we would view someone in a masculine role who keeps hiring irresponsible employees, has a wife that shops till she drops, and has kids who are addicts. We have to find out the beliefs that got them in this unwanted situation.

 

Projection

We don’t realize that within our minds both the masculine and feminine roles exist. In the physical world, however, we only play one role. We can’t play two roles at one time. So the masculine role in any situation projects the role that they don’t identify with.  This is why everyone wants those powerful masculine roles.

You see, there’s no unconscious mind. We see the contents of our mind every time we look at the world through the eyes of the masculine role. We view others as separate only because they’re physically separate.  False masculine projection in the illusion creates false-self connections. Ultimately, the false masculine wants possessions — obedient slaves and fans.

If we’re in the false masculine role, we project the feminine roles necessary to fulfill our needs — patients, customers, clients, servants.  We’ll tell ourselves we’re helping them.  But we’re projecting crap roles on those who are feminine to us.  We can clean up the mess quickly and easily.  If the person in the feminine role shops too much, we must realize that we want to buy more, but we hold back. We judge waste, or we think sacrifice is virtuous.  If we think our feminine is lazy, we probably fight laziness with our will.  We have pride in our overactivity.  We see the person in the feminine role as bad or wrong.  We would never be like them.  The payoff is we get to be good or right if we keep them on the hook.

If we’re in the feminine role, the masculine roles project on us. It feels like we have to wake his or her ass up to get free.  And yet, we can’t see how that’s possible.  Their judgment feels so damn strong.  In truth, we do have beliefs that got us into the feminine role as their reflection. We aren’t victims. But we have to understand how our mind holds the false relationship to get free.

 

File Storage

To solve this dilemma, I had to go back to my computer programming days. There are lots of files on your computer’s hard drive. To find a file, you must know its name. Search for the wrong name, and you won’t find that file.  Let’s say that you find the file, and now you want to delete it. You hit delete, and the program confirms: “Are you sure you want to delete ‘name of file.'” You respond “yes.”  You were able to delete that file because you knew you no longer needed it.  The same is true with our minds; we can delete a file when we’re clear it’s useless.

Let’s say your dad (masculine role) was a bigot. You observed his judgment from the feminine role and stored his bigotry under a file named something like, “Dad is a bigot.” Or, “Southern men are bigots” if you lived in the south and all his friends were bigots. Now you think, “I can’t delete that, it’s true. He is a bigot.” No, it’s not true. It’s real. Your dad has a True Self that’s not a bigot. For you to get free, you have to free him within your mind. If you let go of your observation of him, you won’t notice his bigotry any more. It will have the same feeling as talking about banana soufflé. We feel emotions when others speak falsely only if we believe them.

Let’s say dad had a belief that you’re lazy.  Determine how you stored the file. I discovered that my mind stored such information something like: “My dad believes I’m lazy.” When you find the right words, you’ll generally feel emotion arise.  The wrong words won’t bring up the emotion.

What people fail to realize about letting go is that to get free, we have to free every person on this planet that can generate an emotion in us. It’s daunting, I know. We’re turning everyone back into their True Self within our mind.  You’ll realize this when you completely adopt the mental perspective of life.  If you see something, and are bothered by it, you’re still contributing to it with a belief.

 

Important Caution

People in false masculine roles often feel no emotion when projecting.  They believe they’re really seeing the other person’s flaw because they see the other as physical only and separate; in truth, they’re seeing their own reflection.  If you’re in the masculine role, like parent to kids, teacher to  students, preacher to congregation, you’re always contributing to any false situation or problem, I.e., win-lose, good-evil, right-wrong, dominance-submission, etc. The masculine role is always responsible.  Just let go of what you see in the other.  Don’t take the credit for the shift.  You didn’t heal the person or situation; you simply stopped torturing them.

Projection makes letting go difficult, but not impossible. We have to decipher our role to find the causal beliefs — the file name. If you feel stuck, just vent to the wall or complain to your diary. You’ll say the belief. Then don’t fall into the trap of justifying your position; just let go. Freedom requires letting go of our false notion of justice, victim and perpetrator, and wanting punishment or retribution. We all deserve freedom.  We’re all victims of the illusion.

Roles: When the Masculine Pretends to Be Feminine

leadership:  Masculine and feminine roles

By Cathy Eck

 

More About Roles

This post is a continuation of our discussion of the nature of  masculine and feminine roles within the illusion.  When we understand the illusion, we can get free of it if we choose to do so.  The illusion isn’t part of our True Self.  We can drop it and forget it; and we won’t miss a thing.  If we believe the illusion is true; however, we’ll perpetuate it whether we know it or not.

Roles are the kingpin of the illusion.  To let them go, we first understand roles mentally; then we learn to feel our way out of roles using our emotions as our guide.  Letting go of our masculine mind is completely different from letting go when we’re stuck in the feminine mind.  We all must learn how to do both since we all have a masculine and feminine mind aspect.

If our masculine mind or intellect is filled with beliefs, it will be weak.  When we play a masculine role, we’ll be a weak leader.  We’re all weak leaders until we let our beliefs go.  Weak leaders use physical force, manipulation, fear, lying, or omission to get their way.  They’re very competitive, and they’re stuck in being right.

If our masculine mind is weak (because it’s filled with beliefs), and we’re playing a feminine role, we’ll be stuck living with weak leaders who abuse us mentally, physically, or emotionally.  Nevertheless, even in the most hopeless of feminine roles, we can gain our freedom if we strengthen our OWN inner masculine mind.  We do that by letting go of OUR OWN beliefs, not putting more beliefs in.  As the masculine aspect of our mind becomes free and loving, we gain true power; we move above our abusers energetically; they stop abusing, go away, or give us what we deserve.

 

Masculine in the Beginning

In the beginning, the leader or master (masculine role) had all the power and responsibility.  The followers had no power and no responsibility other than obedience to the wants and needs of the leader; they played a slave role.  Obviously, the master role appears to be a much more rewarding role.  However, when we accept either role within the illusion, we actually accept both roles within our OWN mind.  We can only play one role at a time.

Masculine-dominant minds (or people in authority) project their unattractive roles out on to other people who have the mindset to play those roles.  They appear more powerful than they actually are.  People with feminine-dominant minds end up playing roles they don’t want to play.  They wonder how in the hell they got tricked.  Often the authority tells them God gave them that problem or role; they just have to accept what is.  Bullshit!

If we project out the slave role and play the master role, we appear to have more power over our life and choices.  We could let go of all roles completely and gain freedom; but most fear they’ll become a slave if they do that.  On the other hand, if we strongly identify with the slave role, we feel powerless to gain our freedom.

Most people believe the illusion is true so they just want a masculine role; they want their beliefs to be the right ones.  They want power and authority.

Occasionally people move out of the slave role and into the master role.  That looks like freedom, but it isn’t.  They generally succeed by fighting, having a superior talent, or outsmarting the master.  The prize is the masculine role; but now they’re the target.  Others will try to defeat them.  This is the nature of the masculine illusory game.

 

Most Clever Trick  

The masculine mind eventually developed a clever trick because it wanted the power and rewards of the masculine role but not the responsibility.  Masculine leaders started to behave in feminine and caring ways while masking their uncaring, self-serving, or weak beliefs (the cause of all problems).  They would blame others for their failures.  However, they still took full credit for their successes.  Oddly, if you study Plato’s legend of Atlantis, it’s the trick that supposedly caused it’s final destruction.  The story has a good lesson for us.

When people in masculine roles pretend to be victims and avoid responsibility, things get destroyed, problems multiply, and nothing comes to completion.  We can’t fix the problem if we can’t find the cause.  It’s like blaming the wrong person and sending them to jail.  It doesn’t fix anything; the real criminal is still running free.

The majority of people don’t see that they’re living a role projected on them by some person in a masculine mindset or role (not God).  In fact, the person they often run to for belief reinforcement, vote into office, or pay to fix an undesired effect is almost always the cause of their problem.

The ancient initiates taught us that the cause of a problem is always in the mind of the person in the masculine role (the authority or leader).  These false leaders affect us when we accept their beliefs.  We store their beliefs in our own masculine minds.  Then we go looking for answers in the wrong places.

When a leader is ineffective, it’s because they still hold old beliefs.  Weak leaders tend to hold a very Old Testament view of God and life; that doesn’t work anymore.  People are becoming smart enough to realize that the Old Testament God sounds too human.  Unconditional love (God) doesn’t punish or hurt; nor does it make us obey laws that are not win-win for everyone.

The goal of life is to escape the illusion.  We each have a masculine and feminine mind aspect that’s meant for giving and receiving gifts, wisdom, and love.  If we escape the illusion in our own mind, we become a true leader in our own big or small piece of the world.  According to Plato, that’s how we avoid destroying our world and our life.

Projection, Responsibility, Abuse and Letting Go

Responsibility

By Cathy Eck

Sad Stories

The most common emails that I receive are sad stories.  Someone with lots of beliefs and issues, emotionally, psychically, or physically abused the person who wrote to me.  The writer feels stuck because the abuser won’t take responsibility for their actions.  They won’t apologize.  Maybe they won’t even admit that they did anything wrong.  Consequently, the writer can’t seem to leave the pain of the abuse behind.  Often they’re stuck because they’re focusing on the physical event itself instead of the beliefs in their mind before and after the event.

Freedom begins with taking responsibility for everything in OUR mind.  If we accept that we put beliefs in (even if tricked to do so), then we can take those beliefs out.

 

Abusers are usually fragile personalities that are quick to anger and slow to forgive.  Abusers are filled with beliefs.  Emotions arise within them (because of whatever they’re thinking), but they don’t recognize the connection between their thoughts and their emotions.  They’re sure the cause is outside of them.  If you happen to be nearby when they feel emotions, you’re the cause.

Prior to any abuse, abusers always say or imply something that causes their potential victim to lose power.  The abuser claims the masculine role.  If the potential victim believes the abuser, they fall out of their safe True Self into a feminine role within the abuser’s dangerous illusion.

For example:  “Put your hands up or I’ll shoot” is a statement that says, “I’m in charge here, and you’re feminine to me.  You must do whatever I say.”  Since most people are trained to drop into the feminine role on command, the abuser usually succeeds.

The abuser fails when the potential victim doesn’t drop into the feminine.  If the potential victim stays in their True Self, they’re inspired to speak the right words or take the right action to end the abuse.

I recently saw a robbery on television.  A robber walked up to a cashier with a gun and gave a command.  The cashier replied,  “I’ll give you what you want, but you must step over here.”  The cashier didn’t believe the robber’s command; he retained his power and remained calm.  Then the cashier threw a cup of spices in the robber’s eyes.  No one was harmed, and the robber left.  In the interview, the cashier said he was inspired to speak and act — that’s his True Self in control.

For thousands of years, humans have gotten stuck when cast in feminine roles.  Thus, people battle for masculine power.  However, true power comes from our True Self.  Here’s the key to staying in power:

Emotions are always a reaction to our OWN beliefs.  Other people’s emotions are their reaction to their OWN beliefs (not what we did or said).  

 

The robber was emotional.  The cashier recognized that the robber’s emotion-wrapped words weren’t true.  He stayed in his True Self where no one can rob or harm him.

 

The Powerless Feminine Side

We don’t come into the world armed with a rulebook of beliefs because beliefs are false — unreal.  We come in as True Selves.  But, we inevitably trigger the beliefs of authority figures early in life because we don’t know their rules or beliefs.  They punish, shame, or guilt us; or worst of all, they blame us for their emotions.

We accept that blame because they’re our authority figures; we’re supposed to respect and trust them.  We’re now living in their illusion where their beliefs and rules have power.

 

They Won’t Let Go

Many people spend their lives fixing their parent’s illusion.  That won’t lead to freedom.  Other people think they have to wait patiently until their abusers let go, apologize, or die; but that rarely happens.

Look again at our robbery example.  The cashier didn’t wait for the robber to change his mind.  He didn’t try to transform or psychoanalyze the robber.  The cashier simply took responsibility, didn’t accept the command (beliefs) of the robber, and never became feminine to the robber.  He stayed in his True Self, where he remained powerful and safe.

 

Practically Speaking

You go home to your parents for a visit, and your father says, “I don’t want you to move to LA.  I’ll worry.”   What he’s really saying is that you need to do whatever keeps me from feeling emotions.  You recognize that in order for that to happen, you’d have to move into a eight-by-ten cement room with no door.  You want to move to LA, but you don’t want your dad to worry.

At this point, most of us start trying to convince dad that we’ll be safe, and no matter what we say, he doesn’t hear us.  Or we get stern and take over the masculine role and say, “Sorry, I’m grown up now.  I’ll do what I want,”  which causes a power struggle.

What we don’t do is let go first.  Dad’s statement doesn’t feel good.  Therefore it isn’t the truth.  Now he may be a first-class master worrier in the illusion you share with him.  But his True Self doesn’t worry.  So if you let go, you’re not in his illusion anymore.  The conversation must shift.

If inspired, you offer a response after letting go that causes him to join you.  If not, you wait until he says something else.  “Your mother will cry if you aren’t around.”   He’s had some training in the black arts of guilt.  But you notice what he said doesn’t feel good.  You don’t believe it.  You stay in your True Self.  If you stay clear, something will shift in the conversation.  More important, you’ll remain free.

Power games occur only because we allow ourselves to be pulled into another person’s illusion.  Once we’re in it, it looks real.  We can’t be happy in another person’s illusion, and we can’t change their illusion.  But we don’t have to.  We just have to let it go; and return to our perfect life.