Motivation…Creation…It’s Not All About Doing

Nuts turn into giant oak trees.

By Cathy Eck

 

What’s Motivation?

I hear it every day from someone. I have no desires..no motivation…I’m lazy…bored with life. I don’t know what to do.

The curse of the illusion is hard work.  Some do hard physical work.  Others do hard mental work in order to figure out how to avoid doing hard physical work.  People who seek freedom are sick of hard work.  We discover letting go; then we turn it into hard work.

The freedom we desire is freedom from the physically oriented, fallen perspective.  When we fell into the illusion, we accepted lots of beliefs that made creating very hard and slow.  We became feminine to a false God (a slave driver).  We became slaves of his system.  Doing became boring, routine, and uncreative.

The popularity of motivational speakers, prosperity preachers, and life coaches is proof that people aren’t in touch with their natural inner motivation.  They pump people up and generate lots of emotion by telling them what they want to hear.

However, what we want to hear is usually the opposite of what we believe.  So their motivation wears off quickly; our established beliefs usually win in the end.

 

Reward and Punishment

As we let go, we’re all a lot like my oldest child, who was imprisoned in the educational system for six years before I set him free with unschooling.  He’d already become institutionalized.  He was accustomed to outer direction and rewards.  I asked him to look inside for his true desires. He had no fucking clue how to do that.  He begged me to tell him what to do, but I didn’t.  Eventually, his desires for outer motivation, direction, reward, and punishment died since he stopped feeding them.  He was left with inner motivation after about two years of tears.

Inner motivation is different from outer motivation.  The True Self knows the future, without going to psychics.  It’s not going to learn cursive writing unless it plans to be a calligrapher or old fashioned letter writer, but it will learn texting or typing.

The True Self hates spoon-feeding and memorization.  It wants to understand and experience everything.  But most schools ruin that innate desire.  Children learn to walk with very little assistance. They absorb the understanding from someone who already knows how to walk; then they figure it out.  They don’t read “Walking for Dummies.”

When my children wanted to learn something new, I’d point them toward the inventors and innovators in their field of interest — people who found their own wisdom.  I wanted them to trust their own ideas and to see that true desires always seem crazy to others because they’re not their desires.

Most people memorize and copy what others have discovered.  There’s no life force in that.  Beliefs, traditions, stories, knowledge, and rituals get passed down from generation to generation.  It’s old and dull.  In the beginning, such information was minimal and useful — like how to make fire.  Now we pass down useless knowledge, political persuasions, and antiquated religious ideas.

It’s habitual.  In ancient times, dead ancestors were labeled Gods.  Few people in the past have questioned their ancestral teachings.  People got used to being told things that felt bad or sounded illogical.   Sacrificing our desires for the sake of keeping the family and collective illusions alive became normal.  We stopped discriminating when we heard something from an elder, teacher, or expert.  After awhile, we’d believe anything.

 

Creation

To understand true motivation, we must understand the creation process. Creation starts in our mind as an original idea.  We think about the idea, and it grows.  Eventually, we desire to share our idea because sharing gives it life.  Then we’re inspired to action. The whole process is organic and enjoyable if no beliefs get in the way.  But invariably beliefs do get in the way, and we lose our motivation unless we let those beliefs go.

IMG_0021

If our desire is true, we’ll be inspired toward the next step and the next step; but we might not know the final destination.  We might not have support from our mother or friends, but we’ll find support in the form of validation, clarity, or insight.

Roles disappear.  No one can impose their beliefs on us if we know the difference between the truth and a belief.  The world is a mess because people think their beliefs are true.  Then they spew their beliefs on others because they think everyone needs their truth.  We already share the truth; we’re born with it.  Beliefs must remain temporary and personal.  They support, rather than dominate, creativity.

 

Action

The false self is action driven toward rigidly-defined goals. It seeks rewards and avoids punishment.  It avoids the creative process because it’s focused on end results and approval. The True Self’s ideas often look risky to the false self.  Beliefs about insecurity arise along with a lot of emotion.  If we don’t let those beliefs go, we’ll find our inspiration too difficult to follow.

The key to living from our True Self is to focus on our own mind.  The false mind is always  in other people’s business.  It believes that it gains status by mentally or physically pushing others down below it with it’s knowledge and conviction.  It fears others stealing it’s ideas; it’s competitive.  The false self judges, debates, and takes sides.  I know these things look normal; but normal people are deep in the illusion.

We must get to the place where we’re always watching our mind, discriminating, and letting go.  Eventually, it becomes automatic.  Our false self is blindly obedient.  It will be obedient to others unless we retrain it to be obedient to our True Self.

Yea, when we live this way, we’ll look lazy, unmotivated, or too happy.  Others will think we’re playing too much.  That’s their problem.  Finding our True Self and expressing it is what we all really want.  It’s finding the kingdom of heaven and eating from the Tree of Life again.

The False Masculine Trick: The Punishing God

False masculine

By Cathy Eck

 

Adam and Eve

The key myth that pervades western religious thinking is Adam and Eve.  After their little apple incident, they were punished.  We’re erroneously left with the impression that Eve was completely to blame.  Poor victim Adam got dragged down with her.  We accept that God has the right to reward and punish them forever.  Welcome to the illusion!

The story appears to be about men and women, our ancestors.  After a talk on a cruise ship, a man told me that he traced his entire ancestry back to Adam and Eve.  He gave me a copy.  He was Mormon; he’ll believe anything.  He also told me that his friend was chosen to sacrifice himself for the Mormons; he died shortly after.  He thought his friend was special.  I would’ve labeled him gullible.

Like this man, we get tricked into believing illusions — stories that make God into a supernatural he-man.  He has a man cave extraordinaire in the clouds with a golden throne; he sits around all fucking day judging, punishing, cursing, and envying his crappy little minions.  People became afraid of this God because he told leaders to kill their enemy.  Their emotions should have told them their leader was lying, but we all make the same error when terrorized.  We get psychologically reversed to obey false Gods and false leaders.  We think they’re powerful when in truth they’re very weak; that’s why they’re lying.  Dah!

In time, Adam and Eve’s story became so incredibly powerful and widely accepted that no one questioned it.  We look at the world and see people hating, judging, and punishing in the name of God; we don’t realize that religious beliefs are the cause because we think religion has the truth (at least our religion does).  When people worship a false God of hate, judgment, and reward and punishment, they become that.  Then they cover what they’ve become with a mask.

You might say, “Holy shit, this false God guy actually sounds like my parents.”   We tend to construct our false God in the image and likeness of our parents.  Mom and dad are both masculine roles to children.  Moses did this too.  He projected his false God out on his followers, but his God was really his mom and dad inside of his own mind.  People become the same sort of authority they learned from as children.  Bullies have already been bullied.

If we realize that our parent’s judgments, ridiculous disciplinary measures, and lack of trust in our True Self was false, we let ourselves off the hook.  We don’t say our parents did the best they could.  We recognize that they were tricked; we no longer believe them.  We no longer accept their judgment or punishment.  We’re no longer limited by their false thinking.  Their imaginary role in our life loses its false power.

 

Masculine and Feminine 

Adam and Eve isn’t about a man and woman.  It’s a story about roles.  This story replaced the original purpose of our false self, which was to hold information and short-term beliefs necessary for creation.  Now our false self holds the template for false roles that support a blindly obedient society where the majority function as slaves in support of few elite.

We now accept that the masculine role has the right to judge, punish, curse, and envy without the natural punishment of feeling emotions.  We feel no emotion when we think, say, or do something false once we hold false beliefs as the truth.

This created the psychological reversal extraordinaire that causes people to believe religion (it isn’t a gene).  A normal person, without this reversal, would feel emotion when they judge, suicidal when they punish or curse, and sad when they envy another.  They’d avoid the false masculine role because it’s too damn emotionally painful.  But avoiding the masculine causes us to get stuck in the feminine role with no way out — the double bind (catch 22).  It sucks.  The illusion offers no exit to freedom.  It doesn’t hold the possibility of the True Self because the True Self is the natural blend of the masculine and feminine (God and Goddess).

As people let go, they no longer believe authority figures.  They view them as false, not powerful.  They realize that feeling emotion (honoring their feminine) when a leader speaks means the leader is speaking false; they don’t obey them.  Eventually, they boot out religion’s false God and Moses; they can’t worship false leadership.

They move naturally into the masculine role.  But, they must catch their own false God within, or they will become the false masculine they hated.  Most people have an inner false masculine who’s very accomplished at projection.  We don’t realize when we’re in the false masculine role because we feel relief from leaving the feminine role.  We think we’re our True Self.  We’re not!

This is why it’s so hard for people to get free.  The false masculine feels a lot better than the oppressed feminine role; but it isn’t freedom.  It’s what creates teachers, preachers, inspirational speakers, and gurus.  They believe that if everyone thought like them, the world would be perfect.  The True Self wants everyone to be themselves.  The True Self doesn’t want followers.  The psychological reversal of the false masculine causes us not to feel emotions when judging, rewarding and punishing, or envying others.  The false masculine thinks it’s right when it’s false.  In fact, the false masculine hates the True Self because truth exposes it.  The truth sets us free of the false masculine!

When we understand this, we understand Jesus words on the cross, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”  The false masculine has no idea it’s projecting.  On the cross means stuck in the feminine role; some people spend their entire life on the cross as martyrs or victims.  The false God loves a good sacrifice; it’s his entertainment while he smokes his cigar, drinks his brew, and counts his money on his golden throne.

Living Outside the Box: Freedom

Getting outside the box

By Cathy Eck

 

Freedom

Getting freedom is about living life outside the box that others call truth or reality.  Some people just accept the box, and they never give it another thought.  They even seem to enjoy life in the box.  But some of us don’t enjoy the box at all.  We want out.  So we try to physically remove ourselves from the box.  That doesn’t get us to freedom.

Some move to the country and buy lots of land.  They get off the grid, dump their phones and computers, and live with nature.

Others make lots of money.  They believe, “Money buys freedom.”  Their bank balance causes them to feel worthy.  They can go anywhere anytime by boat, plane, or driver.  They can buy drugs and plastic surgery to keep their mind calm and their body looking young.  They can eat expensive foods prepared by world-class chefs and work out with the best trainers and equipment so they can restrict their body from revealing their beliefs without feeling the lack that us normal folks feel.

Then there are the ones that falsely set themselves aside religiously.  They’re part of a group of chosen people.  They’re going to heaven; we won’t be with them.

Others separate themselves from the status quo with education or knowledge.  They become an expert.

We all want freedom from problems and people who want to control us.  We hide from those that drive us crazy.

We try to get free by changing or upgrading things in our physical world or setting boundaries.  But we aren’t really getting freedom that way; we’re only getting a little relief from the effects of our beliefs.  Running away to an island doesn’t free us.  Fixing effects will never get us freedom.  But don’t get me wrong.  Freedom isn’t about smiling from your prison cell either.

Most people want freedom, but they have a physical perspective so they try to get freedom by fixing their physical reality.  Their physical reality is simply the effects of their beliefs.  Until they eliminate their beliefs, freedom is impossible; life will prove that to them.   The reclusive will be annoyed by a bear who becomes a constant nuisance.  The rich person will find his money can’t buy him happiness.  The religious will wait their whole life for their chosen moment, and it will never happen.  The special diet and exercise will stop working one day.  The educated will find that their knowledge is false.  The crazy friends will come back in different bodies.

 

The Mental Perspective

True freedom is a perspective.  Freedom comes from within.  If our mind is free, our body and life will reflect that freedom.  The outer world becomes the effect of our free inner world.  When our mind becomes pure, we have no effects that need fixing anymore.

When we let go of our beliefs (our false self), we naturally move into the mental perspective.  We can see both sides of duality from this perspective.  So we want to have win-win interactions with others.  We become truly enlightened and free as our True Self.  Our false desires fade away.  We become like we were initially, at birth.

What we try to fix in the physical perspective is probably our biggest trap.  The one who runs away and hides in nature has a fear of people.  Relationship beliefs will keep them stuck even if their only relationship is that bear.

The billionaire’s trap is money.  For him or her to get free, they might have to lose it all.  It’s too easy for them to fix effects with money.  That’s why Jesus said that it was pretty damn hard for the rich person to get to heaven.

If we want to fix our body, then that’s our trap.  We have to stop the madness and start letting go.

If knowledge is our trap, we’ll keep seeking more and more knowledge only to find it’s all worthless currency.

The religious and spiritual get impatient waiting for their savior to come or the comet to destroy the earth.  They keep looking outside so they never discover their real savior inside.  They believe prophets when they have the best prophet inside — their True Self.  Shit, they’re the ones they are waiting for.

We can push away the entire world of people, but the crazies will still find us.  We all want to hide from those we perceive as powerful.  Let them come, but let go while you’re with them; you’ll diffuse their power.  They’ll probably leave you alone after that.  We ultimately have to recognize that the people with the most beliefs and emotions are actually powerless.  When we get that, they can’t hurt us anymore.  The one with the least beliefs has the most natural power; that’s why we were forced to submit as small children.  Our parents felt powerless around us when we reflected their beliefs.

 

Perspective Change

Freedom is a perspective change that happens from within once we discriminate using our emotions, let go of beliefs because they have an emotional warning that says they aren’t true, let go of listening to other’s knowledge, and let go of obeying or fearing false authority.  Slowly, we find that our perspective shifts from the physical view of the world to the mental view of the world.  We have the big picture.  We see clearly, and we know what path or direction to go in any moment.  We aren’t avoiding life; we’re really living life.  We’re creative.  We know everything we need to know.  We live where we want to live, and other false selves don’t bother us.  They’re probably afraid of us.  We do what we want to do with whomever we want to do it with.  The world even seems to support us in being who we are.

Oddly, we don’t feel special; we actually feel normal.  We have power, but not power over others.  We simply feel like our Self.  We feel free.

The Game: Falling In and Digging Ourselves Back Out

Game

By Cathy Eck

 

Tricks and Traps in The Game

You just dug yourself out of a big false self trap after feeling emotions and listening to your false repeat crappy beliefs and criticism for days.  Now you’re sailing again.  You feel like your True SELF.

Then suddenly, you feel that all too familiar confusion.  You feel emotion in your body again, maybe even panic or pain.  Your mind is looking for reasons.  Ah shit!  You thought you’d finally made it out, and now you’re right back in the poop soup again.

I know it sucks.  But in this moment, it won’t do any good to get frustrated, impatient, or angry.  You just fell in to the illusion again, and you have to dig yourself out.  There are seemingly endless tricks and traps on the way out of the illusion.  You will meet and defeat them all.  That’s initiation!

The True Self is patient.  It’s immortal.  Today, tomorrow, next year, next life…it’s all the same.

But try as I do to get people to just let go and get back to their True Self, they always want reasons for the big question: “Why did this happened to me?”  Reasons take us outward; freedom requires going inward.  However, giving our mind a logical reason can sometimes help forward movement.  Letting go of the reasons you hear in your mind (like God is punishing you) always helps.  Here are a few useful reasons that will keep you in the game.

 

Reasons The False Trapped Your Ass Again

1) You just accepted a feminine role to a false masculine, and that person caused you to accept their beliefs.

2) You heard someone say something that sounded good, true, or positive (like a teacher, guru, preacher), and you accepted their positive statement without noticing the emotion that came with it.  We’re trained to be in our mind, to be good students that take in what the teacher says without discriminating, and so we miss the invaluable signals our body senses give us.  Besides, when we get truth from another, it’s no longer truth; it’s knowledge.  Let other people’s truth go and find your own truth.

3) Your false self felt sympathy for another instead of compassion.

4) You just got competitive and choose sides or needed to win.  Freedom is an individual game.

5)  You presumed another couldn’t meet you at the True Self level, and so you became something acceptable to them.  You united with the lowest common denominator — the one with the most rigid beliefs.

6)  You feared the judgment or punishment of another.  So you did what they told you to do.

7)  You looked for a reward or looked to see if a problem went away yet.  If you have to look for results or rewards, you aren’t trusting your True Self yet.  Keep letting go.

8)  You didn’t trust your quiet inspiration.  Instead you followed expertise, social norms, or knowledge.

9)  Your mind is saying, “Who are you to do this?”  “This is too hard.”  “Cathy is a dumb fuck with a big imagination.” “Cathy wants you to accept her belief system.”  or “Emotions are bad; I don’t want to feel them.”  I offer you one belief that you need to get free:  “You can let all beliefs go.  You don’t need them.”  Everything I write supports that one belief because you need it to get free.  When you’re free, you’ll drop that ONE belief because you won’t need it, and I won’t look like a dumb fuck with a big imagination anymore.

10)  You saw someone else’s reality and thought, “This could happen to me.”  You must remain an impartial voyeur of other people’s lives.  If what they’re living brings up emotion, let go of your belief in that potential.  Their beliefs are creating their reality.  This is easier after you take responsibility for your own mind; you see that everything has a mental cause.

11)  Someone said you hurt them or didn’t support them; and you believed them.  Only the false self can be hurt; and only the false self needs support.  If you need others to support you, you’re listening to your false self.  Enjoy supporters if they come, but don’t need them.  Let them go.

12)  You have direction confusion.  You read this blog because you want freedom — you want to be your True Self and live from win-win.  It feels good when you think toward freedom and bad when you imprison yourself with beliefs.  But a religious person wants to be good according to dogma.  They feel good when obedient and bad when they disobey.  Someone who wants to win will feel great when they win and like shit when they lose.  We set the direction for our mind.  We don’t have the right to set the direction for other’s minds.  And they don’t have the right to set the direction for our mind.

13)  You followed excitement or emotions outward instead of inward — such as following romance, hope, or lust!

14)  You’re trying to figure out someone else’s mind instead of discriminating in your own.  Their mind is their problem.  Your mind is your problem.

 

It’s a Game

The collective illusion has gotten very tricky, especially since the addition of self-help and the New Age.  Knowing the tricks makes it easier to win the game.

See your quest for freedom as a giant video game.  You beat one level, and then you have to confront a more difficult level.  At some point, you win the game; or you die.  So what, you just start a new game.  If you watch people play video games, this is their attitude.  They feel good playing because that’s the attitude of our True Self.  Life is a game — an individual sport.  We enter into this big dangerous arena filled with beliefs (lies), and some of us figure out how to discriminate and beat the game. The prize is freedom, living as our True Self, and fulfillment of our desires (without anyone else having to lose).  It’s a great game — worth playing.

Stay Out of Other’s Minds (We Aren’t Meant to be Psychic)

Psychic

By Cathy Eck

 

Psychic Studies 101

When I was in graduate school, I took a class in psychic studies.  I’d just read the book, “Psychic Discoveries Behind the Iron Curtain,” and I fantasized about being able to make better business decisions or being able to detect people’s hidden motivations.  In class, we did these creepy exercises where you extended your energy into the other person’s energy field.  Then you said whatever you heard in your mind.  I felt like I was sticking my hands in raw sewage.  When they connected with me, I was even more creeped out.   Fortunately, my grade was dependent on how well I wrote about my experiences and not my success rate.

Although, one day we had to guess where our teacher was.  He was hiding somewhere in the city.  Someone came into class and said to draw whatever we thought.  I thought of a giant dick so I drew that.   Turns out he was standing by the water tower above.  So everyone thought I got it right.

Another time, we had to do a reading about someone based on name only.  I decided to go ice skating and write whatever I thought about while skating.  I wrote about rats.  Turned out my person was kind of a rat, a shrewd business wheeler-dealer.  He also had rats in his NYC apartment.  But quite honestly, his last name sounded like a mafia name.  It was a great metaphor.

Was I psychic, or was I just fucking around and happened to get some things sort of right?  I vote for fucking around.

 

Battered Minds

As part of the class, we had to attend a “Battered Minds” group meeting — professional psychics who were stuck in victimhood because they saw a vision of something bad, like 9/11.  I got up and walked out after a few minutes.  They were all compulsive whiners.  They believed every emotionally wrapped thought that entered their minds; they had absolutely NO discrimination.  They thought everything was about them.

Clearly they tapped into the collective illusion and saw 9/11 or some other tragic event.  But was that helpful?  To me, it only proved that they believed the illusion to be true and unchangeable.  I didn’t want to marinate in their world view.  The illusion won’t disappear until we stop believing it.

The purpose of a prophet is not to tell us the future so we can sit in fear and wait until the dreaded prophecy passes, declaring said prophet right or wrong.  It’s to recognize where we’re headed and to drop the thoughts that are causing that unwanted future from the collective conversation.

Psychic Studies 101 was many years ago, and I’ve done a lot of discriminating and letting go since.  The ancient ones were right.  Everything is mind.  The best place for our mind to be focused is on itself.  If everyone let go of their own unwanted thoughts, the world would be amazing in no time at all.

Most people are highly focused on other people’s minds.  In fact, I’ve mentored people pleasers who admitted that they often get in other people’s minds so they know what to say to please them.  False minds analyze and hold onto other people’s thoughts in order to look good, stay safe, keep them in their life, or say the right thing.  Our false minds have gotten erroneously connected and intertwined; and that’s why we’re all so damn confused.

Our job is our OWN mind.  If someone else’s experience generates emotion when we hear them talk, then it isn’t true for us.  If they want to make it true for them, that’s their prerogative.  But freedom is about being a master of our own mind; and that requires minding our own damn business.

 

The Lesson

We were required to experience a bunch of personal readings during that class.  I taped them all.  A few years ago, I listened to the tapes one last time before I trashed my tape recorder and tapes.  More than a decade had passed, nothing in them came true.  Nothing!  These were professional psychics, not students.

The future that they saw had been wiped off my mental hard drive.  They were reading my false mind, and I’d let much of that go.  Most of them tapped into my false desires and told me what I wanted to hear.  They picked up on my false fears and told me that they wouldn’t happen.  They said what I longed to hear to sooth my crappy beliefs.  They also gave me reasons for things that were happening in my life — spirit attachments, angels, karma, or past lives.  That was all bullshit too.  False minds love reasons.  But reasons are worthless.  The false mind has got 99 problems, and it’s causing all of them.

Intuition is also a false self skill that allows us to work around our beliefs.  It’s very helpful in the illusion, but it’s worthless if our goal is freedom.  Inspiration is what we want.  Inspiration comes from our True Self.  It’s usually silent.  We just find ourself doing something without much thinking at all.

Quite frankly, I wanted psychic or intuitive power because I was afraid of my future.  I’d become accustomed to being blindsided.  I wanted advance warning to avert problems.  I no longer trusted my True Self to keep me safe.  I’d become afraid of surprises because they were usually bad.

What I really wanted was to purify my false mind and take what I got, knowing that it would be what I wanted, needed, and earned.   I didn’t want to have a concrete and perfect plan; I wanted to be constantly pleasantly surprised.  I didn’t want to see the crappy illusion and grab only the good stuff.  I didn’t want to will the world into submission.  I didn’t want to know people’s beliefs and say the right thing to please them.  Psychic Studies 101 was very interesting but truly worthless.  So I closed that door and got back on the path to freedom.

 

Love! The Most Confusing Word in the English Language

True Love

My daughter’s rescued dogs.

By Cathy Eck

 

Words are Crazy

I love the word fuck.  It’s so clear and versatile.  If I say, “What the fuck?”  You know what I mean.  If I say, “You look fucking gorgeous!”  We’re in harmony.  If I say, “Fuck you.”  You get my drift without any further explanation.

However, if I say “I love you,” now you’re confused.  Does she mean she like… really loves me?  Does she want to have sex with me?  An exclusive relationship?  To marry me?  Three little words, “I love you,” create more relationship confusion in one day than fuck has ever created — and people claim fuck is the bad word.  But don’t worry; fuck comes to the rescue.  If you say, “I fucking love you man.”  Now you are safe.  Confusion gone.

 

Love is Enough

Nothing feels worse than hearing someone say, “My love is not enough to….. (fill in the blank)”  The statement isn’t true.  But in desperate moments, those words often come out of people’s mouths.  They wonder if they’re being punished when they love something so much and can’t make it right or save it.  That’s love in the illusion.  If you choose to believe in it, you get the consequences.

Unconditional love is the most powerful force in the universe.  I’m certain that it’s enough.  But love has been so watered down and so misused that it’s lost its incredible power.

Let’s start with romantic love.  We use the term “fall in love” for a good reason.  We take our whole True Self and cast it aside so we can be half of another person.  We define a good relationship as becoming more concerned over whether they like us then whether we like us.  Therefore, it’s also common to say, “I lost myself in that relationship.

We believe that strong emotions mean love.  But since you read my blog, you aren’t falling for that trick, are you?  The emotion is saying that what we’re thinking right now is false.  That’s all.  Emotional chemistry means that this person gets us to think a lot of false thoughts. True love is calm.  And sex should be the effect of love, not a synonym for it.

 

That’s Not Love

Some of you were raised by parents who told you that discipline was love.  My mom would smack us with her big wooden paddle and then tell us she did it because she loved us.  WTF?  That wasn’t true then and never will be true.  She was getting an emotional release because her thinking about us sucked.  That’s not love.

Then there are the people who think worry is love.  When we worry about someone, we’re projecting our fear on them.  That’s not love.

There’s the notion that sympathy as love.  When we sympathize with another, we’re believing the same lies that they believe making it harder for them to fix their situation.  Compassion, where we know they’ve just accepted a belief that isn’t true, and we know they can let it go, is equal to love.  Compassion comes from the True Self.

Controlling or fixing another isn’t love.  Someone who says, “I want you to read this self-help book because I love you.”  That’s not love.  While I freely express my ideas on my blog, I don’t even make my own kids read it.  It’s there for people who want it.  True love doesn’t need support or validation.

People equate love with doing shit.  That’s not love.  I’ve been told that love is thank you cards, cleaning, various activities, offering to buy dinner, hugs, visiting, calling, squeezing the toothpaste from the bottom, handing over the remote, etc.  I’ve been told that love is gifts, surprises, and the right words.  And I don’t believe any of it.  Fuck you Hallmark and 1-800-FLOWERS.

It’s all an issue of good old level confusion.  At the mental level, love is simply making sure that what we think of another when we think of them is loving and true.  When it’s not, we let go.  That’s it.  The mental level is what’s true.

People who feel inclined to follow the socially acceptable laws of love, as described above, view life from the physical orientation.  They often do nice things while talking about you behind your back or secretly hating you in the privacy of their mind.  They can look loving without really being loving.  If we’re honest and honor our emotions, we’ve known it all along; but usually, we didn’t want to admit it.

Humans spend their lives trying to get love when all we can control is our ability to give it.  In my experience, that’s enough.  When we get our mind clear enough that another’s false self has no power over us anymore, they’re really easy to love.  Our love power returns.

 

Unconditional love

Unconditional love is a nice word pairing — kind of like steak and Merlot; but most people don’t really know what it means.  We can’t do unconditional love.  We can’t figure it out.  We can’t pretend it.  Love doesn’t have power until it’s unconditional, and it isn’t unconditional until we let go of our false definitions of love.  Sometimes, that’s a long list.

False love is power over another — possession, fear-driven, and controlling.  It only has the power that we believe it has.  True unconditional love is a creative, healing, and unlimited power.  But we can’t fake it until we make it.  The way out is awkward, emotional, and often scary.

Often we wake up one day and realize that all the things we thought we loved about others aren’t real; their masks are covering something we don’t want to see.  But True love doesn’t turn away because when we remember another’s True Self by letting go of the false we see in them, we meet them at the True Self level.  Then we see our own reflection and it’s fucking awesome.   And I know that you know exactly what I mean.

The True Masculine Role (How It Looks)

Leading

By Cathy Eck

 

It’s hard to explain the power of the True Masculine role, mostly because there aren’t many good examples.  The masculine role is the role that has fallen; and it took the feminine right along with it.  Sadly, the fallen masculine leader tries to fix the feminine, its own reflection, instead of looking in and fixing the cause in its own mind.  This keeps everyone stuck.

 

Know your Role

The first step to owning the True Masculine Role in your own mind and life is to always know your role in any situation.  I’ve written plenty about that.  Sometimes the role is obvious.  But sometimes, it isn’t.

For example, in two people of equal status, the one speaking is the in masculine role; the listener is feminine.  We also have tricky ways of getting into the masculine role.  If we see the world as positive and negative, the most positive person will tend to have the masculine role or higher status.  In a spiritual or religious group, the good person will take the lead.  In the illusion, the one who’s right or wins takes the Grand Puba position.  Conscious of this or not, we’re always looking to get that coveted masculine role.

If we can’t win fairly, we might trick the person into giving up their power; or the relationship might be one long power struggle.  Nothing is off-limits in the illusion.  It’s all about the drama.

 

True Masculine

The True Masculine is like the sun — unconditional, expressive, and giving.  Giving is key; too many men want the masculine role so they can receive.  That’s not how it works.  In the True Masculine, there’s no hidden agendas — no masks.  We don’t need a mask to give, to express our True Self.  We only need a mask when we want someone to give to us who doesn’t want to.  Then we’re weasels wearing the mask of a good person.

A religious leader is giving a sermon on obeying God.  They’re a false leader.  They’re looking at the congregation and saying, “You need fixing.  You’re all disobedient.”  But wait, he’s in the masculine role; if he’s seeing disobedience, guess where it is — in his OWN mind.

The husband looks at his wife and sees a bitch.  The question he must ask is what beliefs is he holding about her.  She’s the reflection; he’s got the cause in his mind.  Or perhaps he’s not giving her unconditional love; he’s trying to get attention, sex, his way.  In the illusion, the feminine role reflects what you give.  You give shit; you get shit back.  Deal with it.

The mother looks at her child and thinks he’s lazy.  No, he’s not.  She’s holding her hard work ethic as true when it’s just a belief.  The child is showing her what she fears — who she would be if she didn’t put on her show as a hard worker.

The false masculine fixes the effect of their mental projection, and then sends the projection a bill or punishment.  The reflection always has a WTF look on their face.  I write this blog primarily for those in feminine roles with WTF looks.  But they will escape one day; and then I hope they’ll use what they learned to become the True Masculine that they never knew.  Revenge is never sweet.

 

Hints for Success in the Masculine Role

1)  Shut the fuck UP!  I mean that.  Just let go of what you see in the other that you don’t like or is false.  When we’re in the masculine role, we have the power.  We also love to spew our knowledge all over the place.  But the wisdom is in the feminine role.  We don’t need to train the feminine to follow our rules or think like us, we just need to stop projecting on them.

2)  FEEL!  What you’re thinking about the person in the feminine role does generate emotion in YOU.  You’ll feel it if you stop thinking — get out of your head.

3)  WIN-WIN!  Notice that if they accept your way of thinking, you’ll win or be right, but they’ll lose.  When a True Masculine leads, everybody wins…and I mean everybody, everywhere.

4)  Stop thinking about the other.  Stop giving status reports or reasons.  Stop prophesying what you believe the person will do next.  Just watch your own mind, and let go of what’s false, which is probably everything.  If you have to, lock yourself in a closet.

 

It’s a Dance…

When I was in my twenties, I went to New York City a lot for business.  I always went dancing after work (and drinking).  One night, Teddy, a really chubby, short guy with super thick glasses and the worst hair, came up and asked me to dance.  Teddy asked a lot of girls to dance, but no one said, “Yes.”  I wasn’t looking for a man; I was married.  So I wasn’t sizing up his looks like the single girls.  When I hit the floor, I had one of those American Idol moments when Simon Cowell would go “Holy Shit.”  This guy was an amazing dancer.  He was smooth and light.  But he was also a very powerful leader.  Under his lead, I didn’t need to think — I could just reflect.  I seriously “had the time of my life.”  For the first time, I realized the awesomeness of being cast in a pure feminine role with a True Masculine in the lead.  Reflecting can be really fun.

Every time I went to New York, I’d go dancing with Teddy.  Eventually, we both changed jobs and lost touch.  But I’ll never forgot what it felt like to dance with someone who not only knew he could dance, but also knew that I could dance.  That’s the best analogy that I’ve ever found for the True Masculine.  S/he not only has self-confidence and self-trust, but they have confidence and trust in those who are feminine to them.  They see everyone else as their reflection; and their reflection is perfect.