Love! The Most Confusing Word in the English Language

True Love

My daughter’s rescued dogs.

By Cathy Eck

 

Words are Crazy

I love the word fuck.  It’s so clear and versatile.  If I say, “What the fuck?”  You know what I mean.  If I say, “You look fucking gorgeous!”  We’re in harmony.  If I say, “Fuck you.”  You get my drift without any further explanation.

However, if I say “I love you,” now you’re confused.  Does she mean she like… really loves me?  Does she want to have sex with me?  An exclusive relationship?  To marry me?  Three little words, “I love you,” create more relationship confusion in one day than fuck has ever created — and people claim fuck is the bad word.  But don’t worry; fuck comes to the rescue.  If you say, “I fucking love you man.”  Now you are safe.  Confusion gone.

 

Love is Enough

Nothing feels worse than hearing someone say, “My love is not enough to….. (fill in the blank)”  The statement isn’t true.  But in desperate moments, those words often come out of people’s mouths.  They wonder if they’re being punished when they love something so much and can’t make it right or save it.  That’s love in the illusion.  If you choose to believe in it, you get the consequences.

Unconditional love is the most powerful force in the universe.  I’m certain that it’s enough.  But love has been so watered down and so misused that it’s lost its incredible power.

Let’s start with romantic love.  We use the term “fall in love” for a good reason.  We take our whole True Self and cast it aside so we can be half of another person.  We define a good relationship as becoming more concerned over whether they like us then whether we like us.  Therefore, it’s also common to say, “I lost myself in that relationship.

We believe that strong emotions mean love.  But since you read my blog, you aren’t falling for that trick, are you?  The emotion is saying that what we’re thinking right now is false.  That’s all.  Emotional chemistry means that this person gets us to think a lot of false thoughts. True love is calm.  And sex should be the effect of love, not a synonym for it.

 

That’s Not Love

Some of you were raised by parents who told you that discipline was love.  My mom would smack us with her big wooden paddle and then tell us she did it because she loved us.  WTF?  That wasn’t true then and never will be true.  She was getting an emotional release because her thinking about us sucked.  That’s not love.

Then there are the people who think worry is love.  When we worry about someone, we’re projecting our fear on them.  That’s not love.

There’s the notion that sympathy as love.  When we sympathize with another, we’re believing the same lies that they believe making it harder for them to fix their situation.  Compassion, where we know they’ve just accepted a belief that isn’t true, and we know they can let it go, is equal to love.  Compassion comes from the True Self.

Controlling or fixing another isn’t love.  Someone who says, “I want you to read this self-help book because I love you.”  That’s not love.  While I freely express my ideas on my blog, I don’t even make my own kids read it.  It’s there for people who want it.  True love doesn’t need support or validation.

People equate love with doing shit.  That’s not love.  I’ve been told that love is thank you cards, cleaning, various activities, offering to buy dinner, hugs, visiting, calling, squeezing the toothpaste from the bottom, handing over the remote, etc.  I’ve been told that love is gifts, surprises, and the right words.  And I don’t believe any of it.  Fuck you Hallmark and 1-800-FLOWERS.

It’s all an issue of good old level confusion.  At the mental level, love is simply making sure that what we think of another when we think of them is loving and true.  When it’s not, we let go.  That’s it.  The mental level is what’s true.

People who feel inclined to follow the socially acceptable laws of love, as described above, view life from the physical orientation.  They often do nice things while talking about you behind your back or secretly hating you in the privacy of their mind.  They can look loving without really being loving.  If we’re honest and honor our emotions, we’ve known it all along; but usually, we didn’t want to admit it.

Humans spend their lives trying to get love when all we can control is our ability to give it.  In my experience, that’s enough.  When we get our mind clear enough that another’s false self has no power over us anymore, they’re really easy to love.  Our love power returns.

 

Unconditional love

Unconditional love is a nice word pairing — kind of like steak and Merlot; but most people don’t really know what it means.  We can’t do unconditional love.  We can’t figure it out.  We can’t pretend it.  Love doesn’t have power until it’s unconditional, and it isn’t unconditional until we let go of our false definitions of love.  Sometimes, that’s a long list.

False love is power over another — possession, fear-driven, and controlling.  It only has the power that we believe it has.  True unconditional love is a creative, healing, and unlimited power.  But we can’t fake it until we make it.  The way out is awkward, emotional, and often scary.

Often we wake up one day and realize that all the things we thought we loved about others aren’t real; their masks are covering something we don’t want to see.  But True love doesn’t turn away because when we remember another’s True Self by letting go of the false we see in them, we meet them at the True Self level.  Then we see our own reflection and it’s fucking awesome.   And I know that you know exactly what I mean.

Discipline — Time To Say Goodbye!

DisciplineBy Cathy Eck

 

I Got OWNED

Recently, I had the OWN (Oprah) channel on while doing some housework.  The producers set up a help desk where people could ask questions of “spiritual” advisors.  Three times, the experts recommended “discipline.”  They said it was necessary for success.  The first two times, I simply noticed that their comment felt bad and immediately let it go.  But the third time, expert Carolyn Myss put me over the edge.  I realized that I was looking in the face of a huge collective psychological reversal.

An overweight woman (by expert standards) asked Carolyn for help.  Carolyn said, “Do you tend to gravitate toward pleasure?”  The woman said, “Yes,” as she smiled.  Carolyn responded critically, “That’s your problem.  You have no discipline.”  The woman looked like she wanted to slit her wrists or shit her pants.  “Okay, now you pissed me off, Carolyn Myss,”  I thought.   I decided to really look at this word, discipline.  My emotions were screaming, “False.”

 

Discipline

The “New Oxford American Dictionary” put things in perspective for me very quickly.  Here’s what it said:

1) the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.
2) the controlled behavior resulting from discipline.
3) activity or experience that provides mental or physical training.
4) a system of rules of conduct.

Discipline is clearly unnatural; it involves training humans, like animals, to do what an authority or expert wants them to do.  It’s key to a society based on good and evil, right and wrong, or win and lose.

Since the disciplinarians are already in the illusion, or they wouldn’t be using discipline, discipline is inflicted on those in powerless feminine roles, like children.  Our minds record the voices of those who provide discipline until we acquire self-discipline, meaning we inflict reward and punishment on ourselves.

Oddly, the word discipline is very similar to disciple, another highly feminine role.  Well, that made sense.  Carolyn Myss is a recovering Catholic; her Catholicism often bleeds through in her books and teachings.  The other two men who suggested discipline were M. Scott Peck, spiritual psychologist/author, and DeVon Franklin, Hollywood wanna-be preacher.  Discipline and religion are clearly interconnected; both take us toward hell while claiming to take us to heaven.

The truth is that if we’re disciplining ourselves or others, we’re not good, we’re false.  Discipline is following someone else’s rules that don’t feel good and don’t make sense to us.  We should never have to do that in a sane world.  If we’re obeying rules that don’t feel good and telling others to do the same, we’re clearly playing a false masculine role.  We shouldn’t be leading anyone, not even ourselves.

In the TRUE masculine role, we do what we’re inspired to do.  We provide a vision — not rules.  The True Masculine has no desire to discipline others; there’s no need for it.  You trust the people that you create with.  Discipline isn’t even a word I’ve ever needed to have in my vocabulary.

When led by false masculine authorities, we have to muster up unnatural energy to do what they want us to do in the way they want it done.  We become exhausted and depressed.  We hate life.  Then we discipline those below us (like our kids) because we’re starving for energy and life force.

 

Discipline or Abuse?

Just last week, someone posted on Facebook a comment about the lack of discipline in kids and how it’s because parents no longer spank.  Of course, I couldn’t shut up because children were involved.  So I wrote, “People will stop disciplining their children with physical punishment when they call it what it really is, child abuse.”  You see, calling authoritarian bullying, unnecessary rules, enslavement, and physical punishment “discipline” makes the unacceptable acceptable.

Discipline produces slaves and obedient citizens, not successful or creative people.  It’s a winning formula in the illusion.  It has worked for thousands of years because we don’t stop and examine the reality or the real effects of discipline.

 

Pleasure

Carolyn Myss exposed the whole illusion around discipline when she said, “Do you tend to gravitate toward pleasure?”  That’s when my emotions screamed, “Stop the madness. Your are Myss-taken.”  She was saying, “If it’s pleasurable, it’s bad for you.”  The idea that we’re supposed to be happy while we suffer is the Catholic mantra; it’s not true.  We all naturally gravitate toward pleasure until we’re brainwashed to gravitate toward pain by following beliefs that generate emotions.

We’re all born to people who were already cooked to well done in the illusory oven before we arrived.  If we could talk, we would have screamed, “Stop!  That doesn’t feel right.  I didn’t come to earth to see how well I could suffer.”  Instead we got disciplined to become like our caretakers and authorities until eventually we couldn’t see the error in the illusion — it looked normal.

It’s not too late.  We can let go of needing discipline right now.  We can start to follow our inspiration at any time.

Carolyn Myss answered the woman’s question, but it’s doubtful that it helped.  She gave her the cause of her weight problem.  This woman thought she didn’t have enough discipline when she actually had too much.  Her inner food police disciplines her constantly, piling guilt and shame on her food and reminding her that she’s not following the diet and exercise rules for a thin body.  She believes the rich and successful (and disciplined) experts even though what they say feels horrible; her True Self knows the advice is false — it’s fixing the effect.

To get free, this woman needs to let go of trusting experts who keep telling her to be more disciplined so she can look the way they say she should look.  She needs to stop dieting (which has the word die in it for a reason) and start living from her own True Self.