The Host Parasite Relationship

Host Parasite relationship

By Cathy Eck

 

The Host

I never thought much about the notion of hosting until visiting Ecuador for a few months. I considered the woman who owned the home I stayed in to be my host.  Ironically, I started having problems with my internet provider during that time; of course, they were my “hosting” company.  The odd thing was that my hosting company was perfect until I went to Ecuador.  Clearly an old belief was coming up for releasing.

I decided to review my memories around hosting in general.  Many memories surfaced, and all were the same situation with different people.   I’d meet someone in my home or a neutral place, and we’d get along great.  Then they’d invite me to their home where they were the host.  Now I couldn’t stand them.  I felt as if they gave me food and wine in exchange for the whining that I would endure until I could politely escape their house of horrors.  One of these people even said to me, “Now you’re on my turf.”

The host role is a masculine role.  The true masculine host gives unconditionally.  The false masculine host looks like it gives when it actually takes like a parasite; it gives conditionally.

 

Host and Parasite

The word host has an opposite or a complement, depending on how you look at it — parasite.  Wikipedia says, “The host and parasite exert reciprocal selective pressures on each other, which may lead to rapid reciprocal adaptation.”

Humans shouldn’t be adapting to each other’s false selves.  Sadly, most relationships have a fragile quality to them.  Everyone behaves like tightrope walkers focused on holding the delicate balance.  People adapt to the most fragile ones; and everyone is secretly miserable.

A whining host behaves like a parasite, sucking the life out of its guests.  As a false masculine, they establishes the tone of the experience for everyone.  The false masculine commands the power and control of the masculine role while also receiving the benefits that belong to the feminine role.  Consequently, people seek the spotlight in the home or the stage.  They get the power, and they get the attention and/or money too.  They often label that win-win.  Those of us in the feminine role label it lose-lose.  We have no power; and we receive things we don’t want.

My internet hosting company pretended to serve me.  But they sent me crap that shut down my computer and websites.  I felt that I had to protect myself from my own host.  Ah, I was now seeing the pattern.  I felt the same way when visiting these hosts — like I needed to protect myself.  Since I’m not a fan of wrapping myself in white light, I wanted to find out how I ended up in this situation over and over.

Power in the illusion requires getting others to submit to or follow the leader’s beliefs so they can get what they want.  If you look at royalty, they give nothing; they have all the power, and boy do they receive.

Both of my hosts wanted me to listen to their self-inflicted problems and feel sorry for them.  I was supposed to marinate in their crap and not hold them responsible.  I had to pretend the cause of their problem was a mystery.  I had to pretend that they were a victim.  As a good guest, I was supposed to follow this social norm.  It was time to let that go.  I’d had enough.

 

The Escape

We generally feel powerless in the feminine role.  We’ve been trained that we can’t or shouldn’t get the masculine host to change.  But I’ve discovered that when I completely let go of my feminine role in any drama (including my emotions), the scene does change.  When I let go of my feminine role in my relationship with the host, I moved beyond roles (or into a True Masculine place from their point of view).  Now I only had to make sure that I didn’t judge or label them.  I had to make sure that I was speaking truthfully, not grabbing the stage.  Frequently, the host would relax; and our conversation became light, creative, and fun.  They became a proper host.

If they just wanted power and control over me (or still thought they did), they’d try to see me as the problem — a parasite.  They wanted their beliefs or drama validated.  They were now feeling the emotions that they were previously projecting out by whining.  The angst was where it belonged, with the whiner (parasite pretending to be a gracious host).

I’d often get trapped at this point because they thought that I was causing their emotions.  If I didn’t say anything, they’d often say, “Are you doing something to me?”  Often I’d doubt myself.  Was I the cause?  We live in a strange world where we believe we can say horrible things without paying a price.  And when held accountable, people blame the listener or questioner for the emotion they feel.

When I encounter new belief patterns, I go back into my memory and replay old situations with my new understanding.  I see the memory as it was; but this time, I also let go.  I don’t take in what the other people said; I see their beliefs as just beliefs — powerless, untrue, and certainly not who they are.  I watch as the situation changes in my mind.  It has to.  Of  course, it’s perfect in my mental workshop; but my repaired memories become my new history.  This sets the tone for my future real life exchanges.  Yes, we can change the past.

Eventually, in my mental workshop, I saw that the human opposite of host wasn’t parasite; it was guest.  The host now unconditionally gave; and I, the guest, joyously received.  Ironically, once I did this inner work, my Ecuadorian host fixed up my room.  She started to give to me in many ways.  And my internet hosting company took responsibility and fixed their problem.

Understanding Conspiracy Theory in the Illusion

Hero in an illusion

By Cathy Eck

 

Illusion Traps

I write this blog to expose the mental traps of the illusion.  I know them because I got caught in them myself and found the way out.  We’re all innocent victims of an illusion that was created a long time ago.  Jesus said that his perpetrators didn’t know what they were doing.  He was right.  They were playing their role in the illusion.

Conspiracy theorists do the same thing that I do — they expose.  But they’re not changing anything because they’re making a big mistake.

Conspiracy theorists focus on action.  They generate emotions in their listeners.  But they don’t resolve those emotions.  So they commit the same error as religion.  They make us afraid of the little man behind the curtain by convincing us that he has power.  That’s their error.  False beliefs have no power.  

Exposure is necessary.  We must first see a belief before we can let it go.  The conspiracy theorist is telling us someone else’s imaginary story.  But sadly, they make the story more real.  We should treat anyone’s illusory story like we treat a movie, but we don’t.  We fight their war or support their programs.  We take sides when neither side is worth taking.  We go into fear, panic, and terror.  We become even more obedient.  Conspiracy theory makes us believe the illusion more — not less.

When we believe another person’s illusion, whether it’s a religious, political, or even family illusion, we become blind and stupid.  Our intellect loves reasons and explanations.  Conspiracy theorists provide seemingly logical reasons for things that feel bad.  Religions have offered the same useless service.  But neither expose or fix the MENTAL cause of our problems.  An illusion, like a movie, can’t harm us unless we believe it.  We don’t need any more people who convince us that something false is true.

The first person to unconditionally love their opponent will always win.  True trumps false every time.  It’s hard to get to unconditional love when you’re being flooded with information about how despicable someone is.

 

An Example

Probably the biggest conspiracy is the evil illuminati.  People say there’s a secret group controlling the world.  Illusory games are about getting the most people to give their creative power away to a belief system.  In good and evil, people give their power to the minions of the old man in the sky.  In win-lose, they give it to the illuminati  — or some other little-man brotherhood.  The religious hate the brotherhoods and vice versa because they’re battling for the same minds.

We give our mind to leaders by believing they have power or authority.  We give our mind to them by accepting their beliefs as true.  We give our mind to them by giving our money to their programs, fighting their battles, and retelling their history.  The false Gods don’t care if we love them or hate them.  They only care that we believe them.

Conspiracy and religion both focus on actions — what someone did.  To get to the True Self, we must clear beliefs and ignore actions.

Our mind falsely tells us that the effects prove the beliefs are true when they’re actually proof that we believed the system was the truth.

Conspiracy and religion are on opposing sides of the same illusion, that’s why religious people go crazy over conspiracy.

If we play a role in an illusion, we’re an actor.  We can only be a true hero when we discover and live from our True Self.

 

The Illusion of Goodness

As our minds have evolved, people have learned to project both sides of duality outside while standing comfortably in the false center looking like a God.  The false center looks balanced and good.  Barack Obama is playing this role now.  He doesn’t know why the democrats and republicans can’t just get along.  Both sides are the reflection of his own split mind; but no one, including Obama, realizes that.  He thinks he’s a victim.

George Bush projected his inner terrorist (evil doers) outside of him while he watched 9/11 in a completely nonplussed state.  He was the good guy — whole and complete.  His shadow was attacking his own people.  He wasn’t concerned that people were dying in his illusion.  He was watching his illusion play out on the big screen of life, and he was the good guy — the hero and God.

Conspiracy theorists went wild after 9/11 because they wanted to know the cause.  The cause was George Bush’s Fundamentalist Christian belief in evil.  The conspiracy theorists were too busy looking at actions to see the mental cause.  No one said, “Hey let’s drop the belief in terrorism.  It’s a lie.”  When we think of terrorism, it feels terrible because it’s false.  Evil is always a FALSE projection. But George Bush is an authority; and when an authority says “Be afraid,” the sheep obey.

Conspiracy theorists tried to fix the situation.  They said, “Hey the enemy is in America.”  On the mental level, they were right.  George Bush was the leader of America; and he believed in terrorism.  So technically the cause was in America.  But the cause wasn’t in his physical actions, it was in his mind.

 

The Answer

We need to go back to the way our emotions were designed.  When we feel emotions, we stop.  We look at what we’re thinking or hearing in that moment.  We realize it’s false, and we let it go even if everyone in the whole world believes it.  Conspiracy theorists expose the hiding place of lies.  If we let those lies go, they lose power quickly.  If we can unconditionally love the liars, the little men quickly drop off their big high pedestals.

When we let go, we no longer remain caught in the stories of others.  We stop playing roles in other people’s illusions.  We take back our power as the directors, writers, and actors in our own story; we’re free.