Desires … How Do You Know If They Are Real?

True SElf Desires

By Cathy Eck

 

False Desires

I used to have a fear of desires.  I often got something I thought I wanted or needed only to find that what I got wasn’t right for me.  I felt stuck with my manifestations.  That became exacerbated when I took a life detour into the positive thinking movement.  Later, I dropped that mind game when I realized that I was actually creating a very powerful, destructive belief.  Eventually, I would have to say positive affirmations before I took a breath.  I tried a few more techniques like gratitude and visualization before realizing that techniques look good in the short run, but they make a mess of your life and your mind in the long run.  I was cured.

But I was confused between true desires and false desires.  I decided not to desire anything for awhile.  Then my life drifted aimlessly down a path of boredom.  Having no desires wasn’t the answer either.  Looking back, I hit a place where I didn’t want false self desires anymore, and I didn’t yet have access to my True Self.

When I stepped on this quest for freedom, a vision mysteriously appeared in my mind.  It actually seemed too good to be true, and it felt unemotional and calm.  At that time, I was afraid it was a false self temptation.  I thought the lack of emotion meant it was bad.  I tried and tried to let it go.  We can’t let go of True Self desires.  Twenty years later, it’s still there; and I haven’t completely fulfilled it.  But it’s getting closer.

That desire was crucial on my journey to freedom.  It caused my beliefs to arise.  It caused me to take risks in letting go.  For the fun of it, I’ve since put some false self desires in my mind.  I let go of my beliefs regarding those desires, and they always disappear.

When we’re letting go to manifest, we don’t need to know if a desire is True or false.  I can’t say too often that the best thing about living life this way is that you CAN’T screw it up.  On the other hand, fulfulling desires with willpower, rituals, and forced action is the cause of every problem on this planet — every one.

We don’t need to analyze our desires if we’re letting go.  But here are some observations from my experience.

The fastest way to vet a desire is to ask ourself some questions like:  Why do I want the desire?  What does the fulfillment of this desire mean?  What does it mean if I don’t fulfill the desire?

 

Emotions

If a desire is false, we’re often trying to get rid of our emotions.  It appears that the fulfilled desire will relieve them.  It doesn’t.  The emotions were caused by our beliefs, not the unfulfilled desires.  If we have emotions and desire money, it’s the belief that we don’t have enough money that generates the emotions.  This is why rich people have the disease of “never enough.”  They never get rid of the belief in lack.  They just keep fixing the effect.

Emotions are a red flag of false desires.  Our false self feeds off of emotions.  If it can label an emotion good, we’ll generate unlimited emotional food.

Positive emotions are a major illusion trap.  Emotions are a “warning signal” to tell us when our thinking is off.  They aren’t positive or negative; it’s the labels that make them so.   Emotions like hope, excitement, romance, even passion and conditional love are all signs that we’re chasing a false dream.  Our True Self is like still waters — it’s calm.

 

True Desires

The only way to know if a desire is true is to keep letting go until you get the desire or it disappears.  True desires match the characteristics of the True Self; we alone have the talent and wisdom to achieve them.

Usually our True Self desires seem too obvious.  People try to turn them into a mission or purpose.  The True Self just wants to enjoy life and create in its own unique way.  Take someone like Oprah.  Her True Self loves to ask questions, and she’s damn good at it.  But when she takes her True Self gift and tries to fix the world, she jumps around and screams a lot.  She becomes over the top with excitement.  That’s her false self hijacking her True Self.

True Self desires are win-win.  They’re harmless to others.  Being the Wolf of Wall Street can’t be a True Self desire.  Co-creating abundance with others in a  win-win manner could very well be a True Self desire.  Often people are expressing their True Self in their current work or hobbies, but they don’t know it.  This happened to me with my technology business.  I cleaned out every belief that was win-lose about that business.  Suddenly, my mundane company was unique, successful, and fun.  My True Self was happy but not for life.  It eventually got another desire.  It’s the false self that likes to put us in a box for life.

False selves will label our True Self things like selfish, arrogant, or a lazy.  They’ll say they aren’t serving humanity.  They’ll say we’re wasting time because we’re not in action.  The judgement of false selves can hurt a lot unless you realize the emotion you feel when they say what they say proves that their words aren’t true.   You let their words go, and they don’t trap you or hold you back.  The illusion is 180 degrees from the truth.  People in the illusion won’t understand you.  It’s normal.

True Self desires are often difficult to unveil.  But once we do, we’ve got the ticket that will take us all the way to freedom.  We just keep chipping away at every belief about the desire.  Eventually we’ll find that our True Self, freedom, the fulfillment of our desires, and Heaven on Earth are simply different ways of saying the exact same thing.

Oh Where Oh Where Have My Desires Gone?

What are your desires

By Cathy Eck

 

Heaven on Earth

In my mentoring program in the past, about half of the people couldn’t do the “Heaven on Earth” exercise where I asked them to write down their desires.  I wouldn’t push them.  People must find their own inner motivation.  But, I really wanted to push them.  Those who did the exercise moved more quickly and easily toward freedom.  They didn’t get stuck as often.

Mentoring initiation isn’t like regular coaching.  I’m guiding the person on a journey through their own personal Armageddon.  Like any tour guide, my value is in knowing the traps along the way.  I keep you safe until we get to the destination of freedom.  But when people seek my mentorship, their false self doesn’t submit because I’m not an authority figure.  It tries hard to hijack the operation by triggering my false self into believing their illusion.  I have to stay awake.

The people who lacked desire all had  some past relationship with the New Age or eastern disciplines.  The New Age is a rapidly growing illusion in the western world.  When someone gives us the truth, they look enlightened and good; but they entrap us in their illusion.  Many people today believe they don’t have the truth — they’re seekers.   When someone seems to give them the truth, their false mind connects to the teacher’s false mind.  Their mind sees the teacher as the source of truth; the teacher becomes their new false God.  That’s how all religions and false Gods were created.  It’s how cult leaders work.  They don’t want us to see outside of their illusion because we’ll realize they’re a frightened little man  — not a giant wizard.

When we discover our own truth, these wizards look like con artists.  We see that their truth is really just a bunch of beliefs.  There’s a show in America called “Breaking the Magician’s Code.”  First they do an illusion the normal way, and it looks so cool.  The magician looks almighty and powerful.  Then they show us how it’s done; and the magician suddenly loses his cool.  You can see that he’s actually very sloppy, kind of an ass.  Discrimination breaks the magician’s code in any kind of illusion.

One popular eastern belief is:  Desire causes suffering.   Gurus wear the same crap every day. They look like they’ve never taken a bath.  They love their begging bowls.  They follow rituals, practices, and dogma to the letter and impose them on their followers.  There’s no room for the True Self, which thrives on creativity, beauty, and unique expression, in the east. 

Eastern masters look desire free.  No one notices that they desire quiet minds, food for their begging bowls, blind obedience to their dogma, and monetary contributions.  It’s a magical slight of mind trick that causes followers to become critical of their own desires, which they’re told are the result of spiritual deficiencies.  If they follow the master and do the disciplines, they’ll float above the illusion into nirvana.  If they stop the disciplines, however, they fall back into the illusion.  That feels horrible so they go back to the disciplines.  It’s a closed loop system with no escape.  The disciplines are for life unlike letting go which ends when our minds are free of beliefs.

 

The Emperor IS Naked

When people can’t see that their emperor is naked, they let go of their desire for freedom and “Heaven on Earth” instead of their beliefs.  I’d feel their false self take the wheel in my heart and chest.  Their false God had promised them something —  72 virgins, life after death, less karma, enlightenment, approval.  Freedom has no promise — you manifest your desires.  If you have no desires, freedom has no appeal.  That’s what keeps religions, cults, and spiritual groups alive.

I’ve been working on this issue for months, and it shifted in Ecuador, which is one giant Catholic illusion — my past nemesis.  I’d tell my cab driver my address.  Several times, I got confused and stopped him too early.  My false mind said that I was at my destination when I wasn’t.  But I did know my destination.  I had to walk in the dark alone; it took more effort and had more risk, but I arrived.

Our True Self will keep pushing to be let out of the closet and take us all the rest of the way if we just remember that enlightenment and acceptance live within the illusion.  Our desires will keep us going until the end if just admit that we have them.

 

Desire Unwrapped

The True Self thinks a thought and immediately manifests that thought.  That’s it.  It has desires, but they don’t last long.  We could say the True Self has faith, except faith isn’t necessary for the True Self.  It knows it can manifest anything.  Our false self holds our beliefs — lots of beliefs sit on top of one master belief that says we can’t have what we desire (west) or desires are suffering (east).

Desires morph into longing and suffering when we can’t fulfill them, but the desire isn’t to blame.  If the longing and pain get too great, we tend to let the desire go, which appears to end our suffering.  But the beliefs that keep us from the desire are the real enemy.   Religions, cults, New Age, are all belief systems.  They lose their power if we don’t believe them.

 

Initiation

In initiation, we honor our desires, and we also admit our reality.  The gap between our desires and our reality is filled with beliefs.  As we let those beliefs go, the gap shrinks until it disappears.  Our work is done.  We’ve reached our “Heaven on Earth.”  Religions make our desires wrong and our beliefs right.  Initiation does the opposite.

Initiation was designed as the pathway to Heaven on Earth.  When the beliefs that separate Heaven and Earth disappear, we’ve arrived; and we’re truly free.  The promises of the illusion have no appeal; we’re too busy creating what we desire.

When Letting Go Doesn’t Appear to Work

When Letting Go Doesn't appear to work

By Cathy Eck

 

Often, people fear that letting go isn’t working because they’re not getting physical results.  Letting go is all about creating a mental shift.  Physical changes are a bi-product of letting go, not the purpose of it.  Always keep score based on your mental state.  Does your mind feel more clear?  Are you more at peace?  Do you recognize that your emotions are helping you discriminate?

Related to this issue are questions like these.  “How does one know if they’ve let go?”  “How does letting go happen?”  “Help me, Cathy, I don’t know what to let go.”

 

Letting Go Always Works

If we have no beliefs, we can’t create a false experience.  Our problems, pain, and emotions remind us to let go; but they don’t often tell us what to let go.  Let me give you an example.

Someone has a disease that a medical doctor has labeled “incurable.”  They believe doctors cure disease.  They also have a belief that diseases are true and given to us by God as lessons or punishment.  Their mother thinks they’re bad because they’re gay.  They believe their mother is their authority.   So they think their disease is punishment for being gay.  This represents a complex of beliefs.  Their disease won’t leave until they let go of most of this complex.  If they hold on to any of these false beliefs, that belief can provide the platform for their disease to continue to thrive.

If we discriminate, we’ll feel emotion when we think any of the above statements.  Complexes can be very tricky.  Lots of subtext will arise as we let go of beliefs that we’ve considered true in the past.  We might hear voices that try to get us to feel guilt or shame for letting such things go.  We might fear loneliness if we make ourselves too different.  The voices might say that letting go isn’t working; it will try to get us to fix the effect of the problem or look for a rescuer.  It isn’t just the directly-obvious beliefs that cause our problems.  Consequently, I push people who want their life to change to let go of everything.

You can’t screw this up.  You can’t let go of the truth.

 

Did I Really Let Go?

If we really let go, we won’t think the belief again.  More important, we won’t be looking for an answer to our problem or someone to save us from it.  We also won’t be trying to keep the problem away with prayers, lucky incantations, or superstitions.  It can take a lot of work to get to the free perspective.  But when we completely let something go, we don’t have to do it ever again.

We’ll forget we ever had the problem.  It feels like we dreamed it.

You can’t fake letting go.  You either did it or you didn’t.  Lots of teachers, gurus, politicians, and speakers appear to be very spiritual, unemotional, and free; but we only see them in the masculine role.  They’re always on stage or in the pulpit.  We look up to these people, which lifts them up to false heights.  Then we live in their shadow, and their shadow isn’t pretty.  We think there’s something wrong with us.

If one is playing a masculine role, they’re free of a belief when they no longer see it in themselves or those who are feminine to them.  If they’re a preacher who sees sinners, the sinner is still suppressed in them.  If they’re a teacher who has stupid or bad students, the judgment of stupidity or disobedience is within their mind.  The challenge of the masculine role is to never give beliefs to others or project beliefs on them.

However, if we’re playing a feminine role, we’ve submitted our creative authority to others who appear superior to us.  We must be careful that we don’t blindly believe these authorities.  In the feminine role, we’re constantly challenged by others who think they know what’s true for us.  The challenge of the feminine role is to feel, discriminate, and never blindly make another’s words our truth.

 

Roles Are Key

As you can see, roles are played in reverse in the illusion.  Those in masculine roles believe it’s their duty to tell others what to believe.  Parents, teachers, doctors, politicians, and clergy all tell others what to believe.  They think we don’t know the truth; we have to learn it.  Likewise, we’re taught to blindly believe authority, even when what they say feels bad.  We’re forced to respect people who don’t deserve respect.

These two psychological reversals are at the core of the whole illusion deception.  That deception causes all the suffering, poverty, pain, and disease on this planet.  None of it would exist if people did three things:

1) Didn’t believe anything another said that felt bad (feminine role).  They trusted their emotions over authority.

2) Never imposed or projected a belief on another (masculine role).

3)  Let go of all second-cause beliefs that they’ve accepted from others in the past.  Second cause beliefs contain judgment — good/evil, right/wrong, superior/inferior, etc.

That’s it.  Number three takes time.  Sadly, it isn’t done in a weekend workshop.  But we all have the ability to do it.  To let go of the illusion is the greatest service we can provide the planet and others.  It doesn’t even cost a thing.

It’s painful to see how many beliefs we’ve accepted.  Exiting the illusion is like finding our way out of a labyrinth; we must let go of what doesn’t work so we can find what does.  If we’re still clinging to our past practices and techniques that haven’t worked, we won’t find the exit.

Letting go, unlike other practices, has an end.  Letting beliefs go reveals our True Self.  If the process appears slow or ineffective, it’s because the false self still has too much power.  Be persistent; let go of whatever you can.  In time, you’ll be rewarded with the revelation of your True Self — pure freedom.

 

Slavery and Freeing Our Minds

Statue in Cuenca, Ecuador

By Cathy Eck

 

Traveling in the Feminine Role

I’m back home reflecting on my nearly three months in Ecuador.  When most people travel, they either go as tourists, which means they see the sites and stay in places that are sanitized from reality; or, they go in a service, ministry, or business capacity.  Tourist and service are both masculine roles.  In masculine roles, we have choices and power (even influence) over others and our situation.  In traditional feminine roles, we have little or no influence.  We must observe and let go of whatever comes at us.  Traveling in the feminine role is useful for freeing the darkest parts of our mind — especially our inner slavery.  It’s an inner, rather than outer, adventure.

In a country like Ecuador, everyone shares the same point of view.  They practice the same religion, and their culture has been molded into one common perspective.  They have no reason to question their perspective.  You’re either an insider or an outsider.

I accepted my feminine role as an outsider.  No one there even knew what I did.  I wasn’t trying to change minds; I was simply trying to free my own mind.   We tend to blindly accept beliefs when we’re in the feminine role because of our training as young children.  By willingly taking on a feminine role, we can see, discriminate, and let go of the automatic mental programs that accepted the beliefs of others without discriminating first.

 

Slavery

When I got home, this quote by Ezra Pound was on my Facebook wall.  “A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him.”  Powerful quote!  

Physically everyone in Ecuador was free; yet mentally, no one was free.  We can’t see mental chains; most people train themselves to no longer feel them.  They don’t notice the smallness of their prison cell because others have the same cell.   They label their chains a fact of life — the truth.  

When acceptance lacks the desire for change, it’s not acceptance; it’s apathy.  Apathy keeps us stuck in slavery; apathy places hope in a savior.  

I grew up in a town with conformity of beliefs, much like Ecuador.  It was filled with apathy masking as acceptance.  Things usually came easier to me because my desires didn’t have to travel through a huge labyrinth of beliefs.  Then I married one of the insiders; over time, his cultural and religious beliefs infected my mind.  Everything became more difficult for me as his beliefs took root in my mind.  I kept weeding — attempting to remove his beliefs.  I just couldn’t find the causal root.  There was something in my mind that caused me to blindly believe him over and over again.  I looked everywhere for someone that could erase his beliefs — kissed a lot of frogs that weren’t princes during that time in my life.  I was stuck in slavery, looking for someone to rescue me.  No one did because they were slaves too.  Their techniques could provide relief from the effects; but they couldn’t eliminate the beliefs — the cause.

When I discovered letting go of beliefs, I was overjoyed.  I could now free my husband from his mental slavery too.  But he was looking for a physical savior.  My truth sounded crazy; he thought his beliefs were the truth.  “What, my problems aren’t real?  You think I created my problems?  You think my beliefs aren’t true?” he said again and again.  Over time, problems tend to have payoffs.  People bond around problems.  To expose their illusion feels unloving.  His family believed they were given a burden by God to carry together; and I was unwilling to share that burden so I was bad and unloving.

I hated their judgment of me.  I wasn’t bad or unloving; I was trying to free them.  I constantly tried to defend myself.  But proving their beliefs wrong meant holding on to their beliefs.  My freedom required letting go of their beliefs, not proving them wrong.  Right-wrong, win-lose, good-evil all keep us stuck in mental slavery.  Only by realizing that a belief is powerless and false, and letting it go, do we achieve real freedom.  We don’t have to correct beliefs; we only have to stop fueling them.  Let them go.  Without fuel, they die a natural death.

Ecuador tested me to stay free of beliefs that were very familiar.  Even with beliefs as thick as mud, I usually managed to let go.  Whenever I fell for a belief, I could feel my emotions closing in on me; I’d immediately go to work on my own mind.  I didn’t try to defend myself.  I didn’t try to prove them wrong.  I simply  took responsibility for my error and dug myself back out of the mental quicksand.  This time, I didn’t become a slave in their illusion.  I passed my own initiation test.

I observed the causal patterns within my mind that caused me to believe others in the past.  In almost every case, I didn’t want to be judged, I tried to defend myself, or I didn’t want to follow their rules.  In order to prove them wrong, I needed to accept their belief as real.  Now I was at war — the inner battle of good and evil that never ends.  The more I tried to fight their belief in my mind, the more real it became.  I was keeping myself enslaved in their world.  Only I could free myself.

Freedom is about knowing your OWN mind so well that others can’t tarnish it.  Freedom is about discriminating with such mastery that no one can trap us in their illusion.  Freedom is being our True Self anywhere and anytime.  Escaping the illusion requires thinking from true and false and micromanaging our own mind while allowing others to think whatever they want.  The other’s perspective was real for me only because I believed them.  They didn’t enslave me: I enslaved myself.  Therefore, I could also FREE myself and so can everyone else.

 

A Seductive Trap: The Superior False Self

Getting off the cross

By Cathy Eck

 

Seductive Trap

The false self is the opposite of the True Self.  But the reverse doesn’t apply.  The True Self isn’t the opposite of the false self.  Sounds illogical, I know.  But when you understand this, you’ll no longer fall into a very seductive trap.

Look at the most popular self-help programs today, and you’ll notice that they take something that is unwanted (false belief) and flip to the opposite thinking.  It now sounds like they’re teaching the truth.  But they aren’t.  They’re expressing the opposite of something false.  True words inserted into the false self are still false, not true.

Truth is accessed by the elimination of all that’s false, not the opposition of it.  I’ve often labeled this false superiority clone mind; it’s a huge trap for seekers.

 

Truth Has No Opposite

If we’re caught in this trap, we’ll feel like we’re good or right; and there’s an enemy out there that’s wrong or evil.  We’ll often feel proud of our superior position or expertise.  We might feel angry or fearful when we think of the opposition.  The best technique for getting rid of this mental trap is the triangle process.  When we eliminate both the right and the wrong, the good and the evil, from our OWN mind, we naturally end up resting in the truth, without opposite.  Now the beliefs of others show up as meaningless, false, and powerless.  They aren’t opposing us anymore.

People spend fortunes on programs that prey on our susceptibility to this trap.  If our undesirable state is poverty, they teach us how to get rich.  If we’ve been taught that we’re sinners, they’ll teach us how to be good.  We don’t want to be fat; so they teach us how to be thin.

Initiates called this being stuck on the cross.  It’s a great metaphor.  It means you’re stuck on the horizontal arms of the cross moving between opposites.  You can’t move in the vertical direction toward truth.

 

An Example

One day you’re feeling unloved.  You’re very aware of your beliefs and emotions.  Underneath your emotion is a belief like, “Nobody loves me or I don’t matter.”  If you dive down into your emotions, you’ll discover the exact causal belief.  You’ll realize that your belief isn’t true because it feels horrible, and you’ll let it go.  You’ll never believe that thinking and the corresponding emotional signal again.  If you happen to think it, it will look silly and false.

But let’s say that instead of letting go of the causal belief, a friend or family member comes along and says “I love you.  Don’t feel bad.”  It feels like they fixed your problem.  But they just put sprinkles on your bullshit.  For now, the emotion appears to be gone because your mind temporarily focuses on their nice words.  But that fix will wear off; you’ll need them to tell you those words again and again and again.  If they don’t say the words when you feel unloved, you might manipulate them into telling you they love you.  You might work tirelessly to get approval and love from any outsider, you could take drugs to numb yourself, or you might even pay someone else to give  you love.

People look for gurus and priests to tell them that they’re spiritual and good, teachers to tell them they can become prosperous, and doctors to tell them they’re healthy, etc.  We’ll accept belief after belief to patch our holes.  But the holes don’t stay patched.  The causal belief is still there, and it will reopen the hole in time.  Our holes need constant maintenance.

 

We Can Let Go

Occasionally, someone realizes that the answer isn’t outside.  They’ve looked everywhere, but they still have holes.  They realize that they’ve been trying to fix an imperfection that wasn’t even true.  The imperfection was a false, causal belief.  Now they’re ripe for initiation.  They’ll let go of anything.

Until the false self looks painfully stupid and wrong, most people won’t let it go.  The false self is very resistant to letting go of anything that it believes makes it superior.  People fear that if they let go of their positive bubbly self, they’ll become negative.  They fear that if they let go of their good girl or boy, they’ll become evil.  That isn’t true as long as we let go of both of the opposing sides of duality (triangle process).

If they’re an expert, their false mind will try to hold on to knowledge.  That’s how they make money.  They don’t realize that letting go of knowledge reveals true wisdom.  Wisdom is the only thing that’s true.  It can fulfill our desires much better than knowledge.

If we’re in a religion that says we’ve been chosen and everyone else is going to die in the apocalypse, we’re in a false superior trap.  We don’t want to lose our spot on the train to heaven so we hold on to our beliefs.

This is where the win-win test is invaluable.  We must look at our thoughts to see if they work for everyone in the universe.  If they don’t, they’re false beliefs with an opposite.  We’re in a false superior place.  It’s often hard to see the opposite within without the win-win test.  We’ve all become so good at projecting our unwanted beliefs on to others.  We’re sure the other is evil or wrong.  We don’t believe that our letting go can strip their false power, but it can.  Because they’re simply reflecting the other half of our dual thinking.  They complete us.  Yikes!!!

The goal of initiation was no beliefs — none, nada.  It allowed one to return to a pure, creative and unified state of mind.  After purification, the initiates inserted beliefs in their minds for creative purposes only; they let the beliefs go when their creative usefulness was done.  All creation was beneficial for everyone.  They never saw themselves as special or superior.  They didn’t have enemies.  They only saw themselves as free.

 

Eliminating Right and Wrong Through Win-Win

Jesus and food

By Cathy Eck

 

Win-Win Thinking Instead of Right and Wrong

Win-win thinking isn’t easy to apply.  Most humans believe that if everyone thought like them, the world would be perfect.  Win-win thinking is about letting go of our beliefs, even if we aren’t really wrong by appearances, social protocol, or religious standards.  It’s about resisting the temptation to force others to accept or support our perspective of right and wrong.  When we force others to think like us, even if we speak the truth, we get a false self connection with them.  When we let go, we move into a True Self connection; that’s what we really want with everyone.  A True Self connection is our natural state of unity; a false self connection is possession.

A few days ago, I was out taking a walk.  Two of my housemates apparently got into a discussion while I was gone over the right and wrong of drinking wine.  Both of them are Evangelical Christians so you wouldn’t expect them to disagree.  The woman said that drinking is wrong because her pastor says so; Jesus drank only grape juice.  The man said that Jesus drank wine and even made water into wine.  The woman then countered that if Jesus made it, it was special wine, not like the wine we buy at the store.  By the time I returned, they were no longer fighting.  I didn’t know anything about the disagreement.

Soon I learned what transpired while I was gone because each side made comments that showed the argument was still bothering them. My perspective wasn’t even within the scope of the argument so I didn’t get involved.  However, comments about the argument kept arising in conversation; I realized that it was time for me to step back and look at the situation from win-win.  There was clearly something for me to learn.  I couldn’t just ignore the argument even if I wasn’t a participant; I had to make sure my mind was clear of right and wrong.  In that way, I could be a clear influence that might help them resolve their conflict more easily.

 

Grape Juice Argument

The grape juice argument is clearly win-lose.  She was saying that if you drink wine, you’re a sinner.  She was wielding her superiority position over the other by saying she was the right one; and he was wrong.  Naturally, this didn’t bring out the best in her opponent.

This was a familiar situation for me.  I’d often been viewed as wrong by others who had strong beliefs.  Their rightness depended on my wrongness.  They wanted me to submit to their point of view and admit they’re rightness.  I could see that people with beliefs assume you are opposing them if you just don’t share their belief.

 

Wine Argument

The man who voted for drinking wine had the natural win-win position.  The woman could choose juice and not be wrong in his perspective.  However, I learned later that he was trying to coax the woman to have a glass of wine.  So he compromised his naturally more expansive and win-win position by trying to get her to let go of her position and join him.

I’d been here too — often with loved ones.  I’d try to push them to let go, and I got caught in their illusionary battle over right and wrong.  Now there were two drowning minds in the sea of limitation.  I remembered that win-win means allowing the other to have their beliefs and suffer the consequences of them.

 

Expansion is the Goal

The goal of initiation was to let go of all beliefs.  Initiates didn’t care if others had beliefs because they didn’t believe anything that wasn’t true.  They didn’t accept limitation or the notion of right and wrong.  They suggested letting go, but never forced others to do so.

When people have a strong belief, they go looking for support.  They often want to force the other to support their point of view.  If we want support for the truth, we are holding truth as a belief.  When we downgrade the truth to a belief, it has no power.  We stop feeling the need for support.  

 

Eliminating Right and Wrong

When we get down to the basics, people have a right to do whatever they want to themselves.  Neither the man or the woman’s beliefs were harmful for the other if they each followed their own beliefs.  In a world where beliefs still exist, this is often the best possible outcome.

Ideally, if the people with the most limiting beliefs always let go and joined the more expansive perspective, we’d soon find ourselves all living in paradise. But not everyone wants to let go at this time.  So we must let go of our belief that other people’s beliefs can harm us or limit our life experience.  We tend to fear people with stronger or more limiting beliefs because we’ve all had people impose their beliefs on us in the past.  We’ve felt our world get smaller when others forced their beliefs on us.

If we recognize the beliefs of others as false, they won’t affect our life.  We don’t have to accept the beliefs of even one other; and we can let go of those we’ve already accepted.  Eventually, those with the least beliefs will lead the best lives.  When that happens, we won’t have to encourage anyone to let go.  They will see the obvious benefit and motivate themselves.

Bottom line…my housemate’s argument was absurd.  The very person they fought over said, “Listen and understand! It is not what goes into your mouth that makes you ritually unclean; rather, what comes out of it makes you unclean.”  Jesus didn’t care what people drank.  He cared what people said or believed.

Sadly, my housemates’ disagreement created separation; in truth, they were two friends who loved each other enough to expose beliefs that kept each of them from freedom.  They just don’t realize that yet.

 

The Art of Being Ordinary

Ordinary or Extraordinary?

By Cathy Eck

SCORPIO: What if you had the power to enchant and even bewitch people with your charisma? Would you wield your allure without mercy? Would you feel wicked delight in their attraction to you,even if you didn’t plan to give them what they want? I suspect these questions aren’t entirely rhetorical right now. You may have more mojo at your disposal than you realize. Speaking for your conscience, I will ask you not to desecrate your privilege. If you must manipulate people, do it for their benefit as well as yours. Use your raw magic responsibly. Halloween costume suggestion: a mesmerizing guru; an irresistible diva; a stage magician.  (Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology:  http://FreeWillAstrology.com)

 

Astrology

Each year, in celebration of my Scorpio birthday, I save a copy of Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology column.  I’m not fond of traditional astrology.  What spews from the mouth of most astrologers is a great description of our prison cell within the illusion disguised as the truth.  Many astrologers use their masculine position to keep people in their cells fearing retrograde planets and scary transits if they escape.

Our natural desire to be good provides incentive to will our way to the positive side of each sign, planet, and house while avoiding, and therefore projecting, the shadow side on to the world.  Rob presents both sides of the illusion and cracks open the gate to allow us to see our way out.  He’s an initiate at heart; it comes through in his unusual view of astrology.

My birthday horoscope brought me back to a time when I was faced with a difficult life choice.  During my business years, I had quite the reputation.  I was an expert — a valued authority.  People treated me with respect and admiration.  It was actually hard not to think highly of myself.  Nearly everyday, I received glowing compliments from people in high places.  I could pick up the phone and make things happen.

One day, while sitting in my office, I looked at a sign pasted on my computer.  “Be anything; just don’t be ordinary.”  It was one of those quotes you pick up from inspirational speakers and hear when you attend pump-you-up business conventions.  I’d read that quote a million times, but this time I had a moment of sanity.  I thought “What’s wrong with being ordinary?  Why do I fear it so?”  I realized that ordinary was like a demon that stood behind me constantly trying to pull me down.  Saying my magic affirmation was what kept that demon behind me.

 

The Choice

During my time in business, I came to know the ins and outs of the illusion.  I knew that with force of will, I could reign like a king over others.  I could win at the illusion game.  But I realized that little demon would always be there looking for an opening.

What if this strange pull to ordinary wasn’t really a demon?  Forcing my will never brought me the peace or freedom I truly desired.  Oh, I’d leave trails of losers along the way — the Scorpio in me thought that was a divine idea.  But I didn’t want to live from win-lose anymore.

I decided that I would choose ordinary and strip the power from this seeming demon. I’d no longer avoid ordinary; I’d dive in.  At first, I changed my business approach to win-win.  Eventually, I sold my business and dropped all my prestigious labels.  It was then that I came to realize why ordinary isn’t a happy state.

Ordinary (in the illusion) means assuming a feminine role to win-lose powermongers who need losers to win.  Ordinary means suppressing our God-given value and talents so that others can live an inflated life where their talents or knowledge are perceived as extraordinary.  In the illusion, ordinary people are valued for their ability to obediently worship the elite and to suffer with a smile.

 

Truth

In truth, being ordinary means being our True Self — as we’re designed.  The illusory extraordinary is actually a charismatic mask of power that keeps unconscious people spellbound in false beliefs.  While that mask appears to be more powerful than our True Self, it isn’t.

The notions of better or worse, superior or inferior, or extraordinary and ordinary aren’t real.  Only in the illusion are some talents valued more than others, are experts with knowledge considered greater than non-experts with wisdom, and are those with pedigrees naturally extraordinary.

After I made the tough decision to no longer use my ability to play an OSCAR-worthy guru, wizard, or magician, I felt a great loss.  I missed the accolades and the money.  I missed having people listen to me and trust me.

When I wielded my allure, bewitched people with my charm, and gave them knowledge which served the illusion, they adored me.  Now that I dropped the facade, spoke the truth, and wanted only win-win experiences, those same people found me odd, wrong, and even evil at times.

The illusion also made me outer directed.  The art of being ordinary demanded inner direction.  I had to let go of all the rewards of the illusion, including my false power and value.  That’s why Jesus said the rich won’t get to heaven.  Heaven is freedom, our True Self; but when we’re winning in the illusion, it’s hard to leave.

As Rob suggests, if I must manipulate, I should do it for the other’s benefit.  I do use what looks like Scorpio power to convince people to let go, to be themselves, and to choose love over judgment or hate.  I use it to push the seeming extraordinary off their pedestals and to provide some wings for the seeming ordinary until they can fly on their own.  I could still dip into the illusion and produce some raw magic, mojo, or charisma at will; but why would I when being ordinary means being my True nature, and being my True Self means being free.

Eliminating Roles — A Shortcut to Freedom

Masks we wear

By Cathy Eck

 

We’re All Actors

One of my greatest ah-ha moments came while listening to an interview of Forest Whitaker after his incredible performance in the “Last King of Scotland.”   Forest played the brutal Ugandan dictator, Idi Amin; and he really owned the character.  My insight came when he said that it took him three months to shed that role and get back to being himself.

Wait a minute, three months?  It took him only three months to shed Idi Amin and get back to himself?  Idi Amin had enough baggage to keep a million people busy letting go for years.

Why do people believe that letting go takes forever?  Shit, people in the east think it takes lifetimes.  They sit in the forest or a cave for decades, and they still don’t come out themselves.  If Whitaker can let go of Idi Amin in only three months, why can’t I let my roles go in three days?  After all, I’m clearly no Idi Amin.

The answer was very clear.  Forest Whitaker knows that he isn’t Idi Amin.  You and I, however, often believe that we’re the roles we play.  We often can’t tell if a belief that we carry in mind is true or false until we let it go.

Often we don’t know that a belief lives in our unconscious until a person or event exposes it.  Most people can’t tell the difference between their pleasant mask and their True Self so they don’t let go.  But we can’t let go of our True Self — letting go never causes a problem.  Freedom requires letting go of our entire false self — to return to a blank slate so we can write and direct the life script that we desire.

 

Roles that Bind Us

We’ve all believed and accepted many roles throughout life.  Roles can be fun if they’re temporary; ask any actor.  But when a role becomes permanent, it can be hell.  Roles can define us and keep us stuck.  We live as if we have a prominently displayed sign on our chest exposing our label.  People sense that label and treat us accordingly.

In addition, we’ve been trained to believe that we can’t let go of a role that another assigned to us, especially if that person was an authority.  It feels like they need to free us.

Relationships make stepping out of roles difficult because people think we’re insane when we let go of a belief that they still believe to be true.  Their reality proves them right, and people in the illusion confuse reality with truth.  They don’t realize that we’re not excluding them; and they can still believe whatever they want about their life.  No one has the right to tell another what to believe.  But relationships often form around common beliefs.  People think that we’re letting them go when we’re just letting go of a belief.

Some people expect us to show up in our mask; and if their expectation is very strong or if we are a people pleaser, it reinforces our role.

Letting go of a physical or mental diagnosis can be nearly impossible if the people in our life believe our label and treat us as having that label.  Healing is often much easier when you simply remove yourself from those who label you.

 

Living Without Roles

Imagine if you knew you were acting?  After all, you are.  If you’re being yourself, you wouldn’t play a permanent role, especially one you didn’t like.  You’d play a role and drop it when you had enough.  You’d drop it easily because you’d know you weren’t the role.

Dropping roles means dropping lots of beliefs at one time.  When we accept a label or role, we accept all the beliefs that are part of that acting engagement.   A great actor will study the character and adopt his or her state of mind.  Once the state of mind is accepted, the part flows naturally.  They appear to become the character by wearing the character’s mask.  But they drop the mask when it isn’t useful any longer.  If we’re resisting dropping our mask, it’s wise to see if it has a payoff.  If we let go of the payoff, the mask should come off more easily.

When we drop any label or role, we create a massive amount of space for our True Self to fill.  Ideally, we’d just be our Self and everything would be perfect.  But our world is in transition.  If we’re uncomfortable dropping the entire role, then we can just drop some of the beliefs that make up that role.  We can show up at mom’s, play the daughter or son role she assigns while witnessing our act and maintaining our sense of Self; then we can drop the beliefs that bothered us most.  Each time we visit, we can let go of the beliefs that arise and incorporate a little more of our True Self.  We can also let go of any belief in our mind that she can’t handle the shift and then let the cards fall where they may.

I used to feel guilty dropping roles, as if they were some sort of contract that I agreed to for life.  But they aren’t contracts; we do everyone a favor when we just be ourselves (although it might take them some time to realize that).

Too many people keep playing old outdated roles because they don’t have another way to be with people they love.  They don’t want to lose the person so they accept the role and resent every minute of it.  Conscious role playing is a temporary bridge to a new way of relating.

Letting go of labels and roles is the fast track to freedom.  It takes courage to drop roles completely.  And, as you can see by the example of Forest Whitaker, it takes knowing clearly who you are not and being willing to let that character go.

Storytelling or History: What’s the Difference?

Footprints in the Sand

By Cathy Eck

 

Storytelling Versus History

I enjoy stories very much.  I love to read them, to write them, and to watch them on the big screen.  But I don’t like history at all.  History is usually presented by the winners; it’s masculine-dominant (his story, not her story) and fact driven, not character driven.  In short, it’s food for the intellect, the false self.

The difference between storytelling and history has become blurred in people’s minds because our educational systems emphasize history over storytelling.  We can learn a lot by studying the difference between storytelling and history.

If we want to write a story, we first develop characters and maybe a plot or a story idea.  We give the characters a false-self perspective, including a back story, preferences, and beliefs.  Then we turn the characters loose and let them interact.  If the characters don’t like the results they’re getting, they’ll hopefully have a change of mind.  If the characters don’t change their mind, the story eventually becomes predictable and boring.  If the characters don’t grow, viewers will stop feeling sympathy for their troubles.

We see these things clearly on the big screen, but often ignore them in our own lives.  Suffering isn’t natural; it’s the consequence of being unwilling to expand our perspective and grow.  Suffering comes from holding on to what we no longer need.  Mental hoarding, just like physical hoarding, is destructive.

 

Life is Storytelling

We’re all living a potentially great story whether we know it or not.  Two decades ago, the Story of “The Legend spontaneously popped out of my unconscious.  That began my exploration into the nature of storytelling.  I could see that “The Legend” was like an undercurrent in my life.  Fairy tales, myths, and religious stories sit in our unconscious as causal forces in our life.  This is why religions and cultures are built on a foundation of storytelling.  We’re controlled by the stories we hold in mind as true.  If we share a common foundation of story with another, we’ll have similar beliefs and see the world through homogeneous eyes.

Modern video games take storytelling to a new level.  I used to watch my children play them, moving from level to level.  If their character screwed up, they’d say, “Oh, I died.”  They’d restart the game.  I felt as though I was watching a miniature version of life.  You either make it to the next level in your storyline, or you die.  The difference is that the gamer realizes he’s responsible for his fate.

 

His Story

History is literal.  There’s no room for individuality or interpretation.  It’s simply the reporting of facts — names, dates, and physical events.  History is always one-sided; usually the winners write history.  As we’ve become more left-brained or intellectual, we’ve forgotten the cause and effect relationship in life.  We fail to consider that every event has a belief-related cause behind it.  We accept the winner’s false-self projection that their enemy is evil and deserving of punishment.

Today, people share their personal stories in historical form.  They think they’re storytelling, but they aren’t.  Great stories allow for change; and great storytellers allow their characters to transform.  People have labeled the oldest stories mythology because they find so many versions of the old stories.  Old stories changed as the characters changed.  History put an end to that; history keeps us stuck within a false, collective mindset.

 

The Key

The true storyteller knew that he created every single character, even the evil ones.  The historian only identifies with one character — the one they label good or right.  

The historian acts as if he or she is either a hero or victim.  They’re telling the story to get sympathy, attention, or approval.  If they get such rewards, they’ll continue to tell the story to keep it alive.

Often we get stuck in another person’s story; we feel like we can’t get free.  We feel bad if we expose another as cause in their drama because we’ve been trained to feel guilty for revealing the cause of history.  We aren’t supposed to point out that the Emperor is naked.

 

Freedom

Freedom requires owning all the characters in our story and seeing that they fit together like a puzzle.  The victim and perpetrator/hero are opposites who have divided thought in the same way (see the triangle process); and the evil that the hero fights is simply his or her shadow.

The psychologist Fritz Perls popularized Gestalt therapy.  Perls studied people’s dreams.  He required them to see themselves as every character and even every essential item in the dream.  In this way, they could step back and see their whole mind; they could see themselves as cause.  When we see our whole mind, we see the mental cause of our problems.  Then we can change our mind more easily.

 

We’re All Storytelling

Many have said that we’re all storytelling.  We invent a story; then ideally we direct, produce, and star in it.  But when we don’t own our mind, we just play a walk-on part in someone else’s drama.  When we follow the false mind (which we acquired from others) over our heart (True Self), our own story remains unlived and untold.  We don’t grow or change.  Life becomes boring, and we feel without purpose.

This happens when we accept masculine and feminine roles; and we place ourselves in a feminine role to another.  Dropping roles that don’t bring us joy is key to returning to our own original story.

Screenwriters say that the audience wants an inciting incident (usually a fall of sorts) in the first ten minutes.  From the perspective of story, we plan our fall into the illusion.  You probably lived that part of your story.  But what happened after that.  Did you learn?  Did you grow?  Did you change?  Did you let go of your “evil” shadow?  Did you love?  That’s what makes a story great.  And most important, did you get that precious and rare happily ever after?

Roles: When the Masculine Pretends to Be Feminine

leadership:  Masculine and feminine roles

By Cathy Eck

 

More About Roles

This post is a continuation of our discussion of the nature of  masculine and feminine roles within the illusion.  When we understand the illusion, we can get free of it if we choose to do so.  The illusion isn’t part of our True Self.  We can drop it and forget it; and we won’t miss a thing.  If we believe the illusion is true; however, we’ll perpetuate it whether we know it or not.

Roles are the kingpin of the illusion.  To let them go, we first understand roles mentally; then we learn to feel our way out of roles using our emotions as our guide.  Letting go of our masculine mind is completely different from letting go when we’re stuck in the feminine mind.  We all must learn how to do both since we all have a masculine and feminine mind aspect.

If our masculine mind or intellect is filled with beliefs, it will be weak.  When we play a masculine role, we’ll be a weak leader.  We’re all weak leaders until we let our beliefs go.  Weak leaders use physical force, manipulation, fear, lying, or omission to get their way.  They’re very competitive, and they’re stuck in being right.

If our masculine mind is weak (because it’s filled with beliefs), and we’re playing a feminine role, we’ll be stuck living with weak leaders who abuse us mentally, physically, or emotionally.  Nevertheless, even in the most hopeless of feminine roles, we can gain our freedom if we strengthen our OWN inner masculine mind.  We do that by letting go of OUR OWN beliefs, not putting more beliefs in.  As the masculine aspect of our mind becomes free and loving, we gain true power; we move above our abusers energetically; they stop abusing, go away, or give us what we deserve.

 

Masculine in the Beginning

In the beginning, the leader or master (masculine role) had all the power and responsibility.  The followers had no power and no responsibility other than obedience to the wants and needs of the leader; they played a slave role.  Obviously, the master role appears to be a much more rewarding role.  However, when we accept either role within the illusion, we actually accept both roles within our OWN mind.  We can only play one role at a time.

Masculine-dominant minds (or people in authority) project their unattractive roles out on to other people who have the mindset to play those roles.  They appear more powerful than they actually are.  People with feminine-dominant minds end up playing roles they don’t want to play.  They wonder how in the hell they got tricked.  Often the authority tells them God gave them that problem or role; they just have to accept what is.  Bullshit!

If we project out the slave role and play the master role, we appear to have more power over our life and choices.  We could let go of all roles completely and gain freedom; but most fear they’ll become a slave if they do that.  On the other hand, if we strongly identify with the slave role, we feel powerless to gain our freedom.

Most people believe the illusion is true so they just want a masculine role; they want their beliefs to be the right ones.  They want power and authority.

Occasionally people move out of the slave role and into the master role.  That looks like freedom, but it isn’t.  They generally succeed by fighting, having a superior talent, or outsmarting the master.  The prize is the masculine role; but now they’re the target.  Others will try to defeat them.  This is the nature of the masculine illusory game.

 

Most Clever Trick  

The masculine mind eventually developed a clever trick because it wanted the power and rewards of the masculine role but not the responsibility.  Masculine leaders started to behave in feminine and caring ways while masking their uncaring, self-serving, or weak beliefs (the cause of all problems).  They would blame others for their failures.  However, they still took full credit for their successes.  Oddly, if you study Plato’s legend of Atlantis, it’s the trick that supposedly caused it’s final destruction.  The story has a good lesson for us.

When people in masculine roles pretend to be victims and avoid responsibility, things get destroyed, problems multiply, and nothing comes to completion.  We can’t fix the problem if we can’t find the cause.  It’s like blaming the wrong person and sending them to jail.  It doesn’t fix anything; the real criminal is still running free.

The majority of people don’t see that they’re living a role projected on them by some person in a masculine mindset or role (not God).  In fact, the person they often run to for belief reinforcement, vote into office, or pay to fix an undesired effect is almost always the cause of their problem.

The ancient initiates taught us that the cause of a problem is always in the mind of the person in the masculine role (the authority or leader).  These false leaders affect us when we accept their beliefs.  We store their beliefs in our own masculine minds.  Then we go looking for answers in the wrong places.

When a leader is ineffective, it’s because they still hold old beliefs.  Weak leaders tend to hold a very Old Testament view of God and life; that doesn’t work anymore.  People are becoming smart enough to realize that the Old Testament God sounds too human.  Unconditional love (God) doesn’t punish or hurt; nor does it make us obey laws that are not win-win for everyone.

The goal of life is to escape the illusion.  We each have a masculine and feminine mind aspect that’s meant for giving and receiving gifts, wisdom, and love.  If we escape the illusion in our own mind, we become a true leader in our own big or small piece of the world.  According to Plato, that’s how we avoid destroying our world and our life.

Eliminating the Masculine and Feminine Roles

masculine and feminine roles

By Cathy Eck

 

Roles Aren’t True

In the last few posts, I’ve explained the masculine and feminine roles within the illusion.  Remember, roles hold the illusion together.  There’s no such thing as roles to the True Self.  Roles are real; they do exist in the illusory world.  However, they aren’t true.  This is good news; it means that we can let roles go.

The false self depends on roles; it has endless tricks to get people into roles where it can win, dominate, and be good or right.  If we aren’t aware of the purpose of roles, we fall prey to them.  We end up losing without even knowing we were competing; we submit to others who aren’t true leaders, or we look bad or wrong.

Our goal in initiation is to get back to the time before we got stuck in roles.  Of course, we received our first role the moment we were born — daughter or son.  Many people never escape that role.  They’re still submissive to their parents on the day they die.  Thus, they never live their own life.

 

Breaking Free of Roles

Recognition:  The first step is recognizing that we’re stuck in a role.

Masculine or feminine:  It’s important to determine whether we’re playing a masculine or feminine part.  Sometimes, it’s obvious.  Other times, we aren’t sure and must look for subtle clues.  Our body gives us clues through pain, disease, or symptoms.  Actions also speak louder than words.

Ghosts:  In feminine roles, we often feel oppressed.  But the oppressor or controller isn’t always who we think.  False minds don’t want us to find the real cause.  

My ex-husband believed I was controlling him, but I wasn’t.  I wasn’t willing to accept his beliefs as true, and to some false selves that can seem controlling.  But I wasn’t demanding or needy.  In fact, as I let go, he came to have so much freedom it was like he wasn’t married; but still he insisted that I was controlling him.  Eventually, I could see that it was his mother’s voice that was dominating him, not mine.  He just couldn’t see through his own veil of beliefs.

Roles are Mental:  The roles we see in the world are the effect of the roles we hold in OUR OWN mind.  If we feel controlled by someone, that’s because we still hold controlling authorities from our past in mind.  My ex-husband felt controlled by his own inner feminine (formed by his mother).  Whatever I said or did passed through that filter and tainted his hearing and vision.  He never heard me; he heard his mother’s voice replaying old tapes.

Make roles about roles, not about people who play them:  When we cast someone in a role, we’re holding them hostage.  My experience as a character in my ex-husband’s illusion created the desire to help others who feel stuck in someone else’s illusion to escape.  I never wanted another to go through that pain and confusion.

Step Back:  People playing the masculine role seldom have an incentive to let the role go.  They’re usually winning, looking good, and getting to be right.  Of course, their victories are illusory; but the world believes them.  They get approval, attention, and rewards from their roles and labels.  We can escape their illusion once we understand how to let go of beliefs.

We must realize that the roles that others play in our life exist as potentials in our mental drama.  We appear to be victims in the illusion; but we aren’t.  We’ve simply accepted beliefs that allow the roles to perpetuate.  Most of those beliefs come from religion, cultural traditions, or social conventions.  They’re beliefs that most don’t even question.

For example:  “I should listen to others.  Emotions are bad.  I should be nice to my authorities.  I can’t tell another that their belief is false.  If it happened to them, it could happen to me.  I can’t correct authority.”  In my case, the main belief that kept me stuck was a feminine role — a false perception of wife.  With each belief I let go, the false authorities in my mind lost more power until I could no longer play the false wife role.

Do the Process:  Once we find the belief, we’re only half way there.  Often people stop when they find the belief because of another belief that says, “Now that I found the cause, I’m free of the belief.”  This is common in the new age and creates projection, not release.  Denying a belief, excluding ourself, or choosing a new belief is NOT letting go.

To drop the belief, we must recognize the pain it has caused.  We must witness and release the emotion the belief generated, and we must realize the emotion is saying the belief isn’t true.  It may have been real in our past; but it wasn’t true.  The belief isn’t just false for us.  It’s false for everyone.  This is often hard to do.  If we’ve been pressed underneath an authority’s illusion for decades, we don’t feel like letting them off the hook.  But it’s worth it.

When we’ve completely eliminated a belief from our mind, we don’t experience it in the world anymore.  Now we can help others let go because we can discriminate again.

We must let go of any beliefs that say we need to believe others, especially authority.  False selves will do their very best to convince us that their beliefs are true.  The false self fears death.  Exposure is its kryptonite.  It tries hard to stay hidden beneath an acceptable mask.

Wash, Rinse, and Repeat:  If the stain doesn’t come all the way out,  keep letting go until it’s gone.  In this work, a belief is gone when you no longer see evidence of it.  It’s gone when you don’t fear it.  It’s gone when you know it’s false.  Persistence, honesty, and courage are the qualities that will take you all the way.

Becoming a True Leader by Mastering the Masculine Role

Masculine Role

By Cathy Eck

 

Masculine Role

A true leader is someone who carries out the masculine role perfectly.  The masculine role in our modern world has fallen to a very low level.  Most leaders in masculine roles are power-hungry, competitive, and need to be right.  They project their shadows on to others; then they blame the shadow.  Consequently, the people they lead in feminine roles feel confused, emotional, and powerless.

The master of the masculine role leads from the inside out.  They have a pure mind and only believe thoughts that take them to a win-win vision (they actually know what a win-win vision is).  They let go of the thoughts that aren’t moving their community or business forward.  They don’t hide their false self under a nice or smart persona or say one thing and do another.  They have few beliefs; all of them are from first-cause (non-judgmental) thinking.

Years ago, I discovered the true masculine as a business owner.  At first, I followed other leaders.  I tried to motivate my employees, create an inspiring vision, and treat everyone fairly.  I tried to hide or deny my fear.  But something was off, and I knew it because I could feel it in my body.  I still competed for work.  I still honored beliefs about business and my industry because everyone else did.

In short, my masculine mind was split into win and lose.  I was always battling for the win.  When I won, I felt good.  When I lost, I felt bad.  The outcome of any competition determined how I felt, and that was no longer acceptable.  So I made a simple decision that I would no longer do anything that wasn’t win-win for everyone involved.

Slowly, I realized that if I let go of my own beliefs, I was left with the truth around any situation.  My employees no longer needed motivating, and I didn’t have to compete and market.  I got the business that was right for me.

I wasn’t just changing my thoughts superficially; I let go of the thoughts that weren’t true.  My mind now sorted information based on true and false, not win and lose.  When something went wrong, I found the cause in my mind and let it go.  The cause was always a belief that I’d learned from another.  Slowly the outer world came to match my inner vision.

But this all worked because I played the masculine role.  I was in charge.  I used the people in the feminine role as my mirror; I was serious about not breaking that mirror.

 

Why Leaders Fail?

Leaders fail because they aren’t leading.  They might hold the position, title, or authority; but they aren’t a true leader if they lead from win-lose.  They hold beliefs or rules in mind that they want others to follow.  They see enemies to defeat.

Most leaders try to impose or force their beliefs on others.  They try to convince everyone that their beliefs are right and their enemies are real.

When a leader simply wants to win their projected battles, they aren’t a leader.  They’re a dictator.  Dictators tend to use force, shame, guilt, blame, manipulation, or fear to get their way.   Sadly, most parents, teachers, clergy, and leaders of all sorts are either dictators or complete push-overs.  A true leader is neither of these.

 

Getting to True

To get to true leadership, we must find the cause of problems in our own mind.  The cause is always thought, a belief.  The person playing the masculine role is always at cause in the illusion because it’s the masculine role that has authority, makes rules, and gives rewards or punishment. The illusion was created that way.

What we really want are leaders without beliefs that take us all to peace, abundance, and freedom.  But our false self tends to choose leaders that validate our beliefs.  We feel supported when people think like us.  So we exacerbate the problem.

 

Letting Go in the Masculine Role

Letting go in the masculine role is different from the feminine.  In the feminine role, it feels like beliefs are coming at us.  We didn’t make the rules or create the beliefs, but we feel we must follow them.  Letting go in the feminine role is difficult.

In the masculine role, we’re always facing our own projection.  If our projection isn’t free, joyous, and basking in abundance, our false self wants to either fix or battle its shadow, when it should just let it go.  Some people do this their entire life.  Shit we label people heroes for fixing their own faulty projections.  We’re really blind on this issue.

If a leader of a country sees poverty, they have poverty inside their mind.  If they see terrorists, they’re the cause of the terrorism.  When we accept the masculine role, we accept the responsibility for everything that goes wrong.

The person in the masculine role cannot be a victim because they’re the cause.  Problems can only be fixed at the cause.  When the leader takes responsibility for their thinking, problems get fixed easily.  When they take action to fix the effects of their thinking, problems last forever.

Our world is a mess now because our leaders project their beliefs outside of them and act innocent when they come back to bite their ass.  This is why I teach people in feminine roles to no longer accept projections or beliefs.  Leaders stop blaming the feminine when it no longer works.

The true masculine recognizes that their job is to watch and listen to their feminine projection and self correct.  A true leader rarely gets the credit because they made the correction inside their mind, rather than outside with effort.  It looks like things just went back to normal or a miracle occurred.

Lao Tzu said, “A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”  Lao Tzu understood true leadership.

Escaping the Feminine Role

Feminine role

By Cathy Eck

 

The Feminine Role

In the illusion, the masculine role is the authority or assertive role.  Consequently, the masculine role is easy to drop.  But no one wants to play the powerless, feminine role, so people hold on to masculine roles.  When we need to be in control, we fear the feminine role.  If we’re addicted to victimhood, we’re stuck and apathetic in the feminine role.

Life in the illusion has a way of pulling us into the feminine.  Eventually, we retire from our expert or authority job.  Our body gives out; we can no longer be the sports star.  Our kids grow up.  It looks like we’ve lost our mojo; it feels terrible unless we understand what’s occurring.  Our feminine self needs healing.

 

Feeling Powerless

Traditionally, the feminine role was the child, wife, slave, employee, or prisoner.  These roles had no power in the illusion; good meant obedient.  Then came a new kind of feminine role that appeared to be masculine but wasn’t.  The soldier believes he has power over the enemy; but he’s just following orders.  Conspiracy theorists notice when leaders in power aren’t being rational; they seem to be following orders of a hidden authority.  If we’re obeying another person, we’re in a feminine role.

If you saw the movie “Jobs” about Steve Jobs, you saw him change when Apple became a public company.  He became feminine to his board of directors.  He had to obey orders even if it wasn’t good for the company.   There’s nothing more horrific then submitting to a false leader.  Yet, we do it all the time; we continue to perpetuate blind obedience and respect for authority because we think it’s true and an unavoidable part of life.

One would think that leaders would be more conscious of this.  After all, we all start out in the feminine role as children.  We all feel the sting of having to take orders from another who doesn’t lead from unconditional love.  Sadly, when people get into the masculine role, they seem to think they’re always right.  They follow the unspoken Golden Role, which is “I do to others what was done to me.”

 

The Escape

We know we’re in a feminine role when we feel stuck in someone’s illusion.  It can be as serious as being in a prison camp or as insignificant as listening to our friend whine.  Either way, we feel stuck in a feminine role and can’t escape.

We must first recognize that our own beliefs got us in the role.  Usually we feel the need to be obedient or nice.

When we let go of the beliefs that caused us to assume the feminine role, we begin to match our True Self’s perspective.  Letting go of the false is what gets us to true.  This appears to be impossible because we’ve submitted to the other person; and both of us believe that they’re in the masculine power role.  But it is very possible.

We also submit willingly to false selves.  We hire a trainer to get fit.  The trainer is only giving us knowledge — their version of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  If we believe them, their beliefs will override our old beliefs about fitness.  Seekers are looking for a better spiritual belief system.  In sickness, we look for someone who believes in a cure.   In the illusion, we spend our life trying to trade up beliefs causing us to form codependent relationships around beliefs.  Letting go breaks these false ties to experts and authority figures.  Our own True Self has the wisdom of life we seek; it has no problems to fix.

 

Stuck in the Feminine Role 

The key to escaping a feminine role is to witness our emotions and discriminate continuously.  Wallowing in our emotions keeps us stuck.  We must let go of any belief that enters our mind or arises that has an emotional component.  Here’s an example of what I teach people to do who feel stuck in the feminine by racism.

Racist:  You’re lazy and good for nothing.

Feminine:  Doesn’t speak.  They go inward and feel the emotion inside of their body as they receive the words of the racist.  They recognize that their own emotional navigator is saying, “Don’t believe them; what they say isn’t true.”  So they let go of the words they hear because they aren’t true.  Now those words don’t take hold in their body-mind.  In fact, the emotional energy goes back to the racist.

Racists or bulles don’t fall over easy.  It’s likely that they’ll receive their emotion back and try again.  After all, they’re psychologically reversed.  They think their false belief is true because it has emotion.  Psychologically reversed leaders create very confused followers.  So you have to stay in true and false discrimination until they go away.  They will.  True trumps authority; it pulls us outside of the illusion where false authorities can’t harm us.

The goal of most people in a masculine role is to eliminate their own emotions by projecting them on another.  They don’t realize their emotions are related to their own stinking thinking.  When people say that a role (like healer, preacher, performer, or teacher) is life giving, they’re usually projecting their beliefs on those in the feminine role, which gives their beliefs (false self) more power.  A role or purpose is not life giving.  Being our True Selves is life giving.  True roles are for cocreation only.

Finally, we must look at our own beliefs to see what caused us to accept a false feminine role.  Most beliefs came from ancestors.  We’re taught to believe we must obey authority or respect elders.  We’re taught that what happens to others can happen to us.  We’re taught that if our beliefs generate emotion, they’re true.  We stop discriminating.  We believe what we’re told.  Eventually, if we let all those beliefs go, no one can put us in an illusory feminine role again.  We’re one step closer to freedom.

 

Getting Rid of the Gurus in Your Mind

Imagine what would happen if people believed that they knew how the sun should shine better than the sun did.

Imagine what would happen if people believed they knew more about how the sun should shine than the sun did.

By Cathy Eck

 

I’ve gotta say this because I’m tired of seeing amazing people waste their life as seekers.  Seekers tend to seek and seek, but they don’t find because the answer isn’t out there.

Initiation is simply about finding your OWN True Self inside.  It’s simple in theory, but often people have accepted quite a compost heap of beliefs to dig through.

 

The False Self Computer

You can let go of all those voices in your mind.  It’s safe.  You won’t die or disappear.  You’ll love what you find underneath all that crap.

But don’t be fooled.  You don’t get anywhere by talking about letting go or saying you should let go.  You make progress when you let go.  To let go, you must realize that the voices are false.  It’s hard because we fear making our old authorities wrong.  Their words were presented as true; they weren’t up for discussion.  You must take back your power — power you never should have given to any other.

These teachers, preachers, and gurus know that you’ll store their words in your mind like a computer stores data.  In this way, they own your mind.  If lots of people believe the same thing, it becomes accepted as true.  People don’t expose it as untrue anymore; they’re afraid to.  It’s all about gathering numbers of followers, just like Twitter.  All religions started as cults; they cross over into religion at a certain level of members.

Gurus, priests, and even school teachers tell you what they know.  Then you memorize it.  Now you’re a computer.  You aren’t human anymore.  They tell you that what they’re saying is true.  “True” is a magic word to our minds.  If we label something true, our false mind will sacrifice our life to hold on to it.  To let go, you have to recognize that the belief is false — not bad or evil — just false.

When your mind is a computer, you shut off your feminine guidance (emotions).  If the teacher says it, it’s true.  You’ve lost your own discrimination.  You’re a puppet.  You repeat what you’ve learned and behave as if others need it too.

 

Never Too Late

Fortunately, it’s never too late.  Wanting freedom or truth sets you on the path back to your True Self.  Then you have to fight those old voices of authority.  They don’t go easy.  They’re like a song that won’t get out of our head.  The key is to realize that they’re FALSE.

I went though a seeking phase. Lots of teachers went from genius to goofball quickly.  It took me a long time to give up my belief that someone else had the answer.  I believed that I didn’t know the truth.  Of course, after I heard their truth, I was out lots of money; and I had more beliefs to let go.  They won; I lost.  The worst part was that I thought there was something wrong with me.  I couldn’t get it.  I didn’t question their words because they had a title, costume, or credentials.

 

Gurus or True Selves

Stand in your True Self’s perspective.  You’ve been around forever, and no one has listened to you.  You’ve had all the answers, knew how to avoid every problem, and loved unconditionally.  Now your false mind carts your ass into the next workshop or religious service and accepts more knowledge labeled truth.  How would you feel?  Isn’t that arrogant to think that another person’s beliefs are better than our own True Self?  It like saying fuck you to God.  When you get that, you’ll let those voices go more quickly.

Let me be clear.  Honest knowledge isn’t a problem.  I know my Photoshop instructor is sharing knowledge.  He doesn’t care if I switch programs tomorrow.  There’s no deception.  The deception occurs when someone gives you beliefs masked as the truth of life.  You’re supposed to obey them forever.  That’s deception!

Here’s what your True Self knows:  You’re spiritual, good, wise, free, loving and joyous.  You’ve always the truth inside of you.  All you can do is be your True Self or cover it up with other people’s beliefs.  Your True Self says, “I feel so connected to God when I surf, walk my dog, or cook pizza.”  Then the guru says, “Spiritual is only found in the space between the thoughts.  Be in the now.”  Or in the west, “Love your enemies unless they are gay, illegal aliens, or live in a country that has something we want.”  Their voices get stuck in our mind, and we spend our lives looking for the space between our thoughts, trying to be in the now, or trying to find the badness in the gay, illegal alien, or Arab.

 

I Love Popeye

When I lived in Virginia, there were a few gurus nearby.  I watched as amazing people became disciples.  They slowly gave their power away until one day they were powerless thinking they were awakened.  They just walked around like Olive Oil in an episode where she was hypnotized to say, “I love Popeye, I love Popeye, I love Popeye.”  She didn’t love Popeye, she was hypnotized so that her mind repeated the same thing over and over.  She believed she loved Popeye, which wasn’t the same thing as just loving Popeye.  When I’d question these disciples, they’d glaze over and say, “He’s just pure love.”

So eastern or western, it’s built around the same false belief, which is the lie that someone else has the truth.  People brag about who they follow when they should be ashamed of it.  It means they consider their own True Self worthless.  I can assure you, if you start letting go of the beliefs you’ve accepted from gurus, teachers, preachers, and priests, you’ll find your True Self.  And that voice will be perfect, original, true, and YOURS.

 

Blame, Shame, and Guilt: The Illusion’s Superglue

Blame, Shame, Guilt

By Cathy Eck

 

Most of us have been taught to take the blame for things that we didn’t cause when we were stuck in feminine roles.  We’ve been guilted or shamed; and we’ve been taught to please others, especially authority, even if their demands are ridiculous.

Blame, shame, and guilt are the Superglue of the illusion.  They don’t exist in the true world.  Therefore, with some discrimination and wisdom, we can free ourselves from them.

 

Blame

In the true world, there are no roles.  But roles dominate our social structure (the illusion), and that isn’t a problem as long as we honor the natural flow of the energy in the illusory roles we play.  Blame involves a reversal of the natural flow of masculine and feminine roles.

Normally, the masculine energy (intellect) holds the beliefs, and the feminine energy reflects those beliefs.  In blame, the masculine energy says that the cause of the problem lies with the person or people playing the feminine role.  Or sometimes, the person in the masculine role blames another masculine role (like Obama and Bush/Romney).

If we are in a feminine role in the illusion, we cannot be blamed unless the leader wasn’t really leading.  If the masculine role is leading from truth as it should, nothing bad can go wrong.  When things go wrong, it’s the leader’s belief that’s the cause, not the follower’s reflection of the belief.

Only the person in the masculine role can drop the causal belief.  The emotions and wild behavior, that often occurs in the people in the feminine role, are the effect of the false beliefs of the masculine.  When the mind of the authority changes, their feminine reflection changes.  To fix the feminine is to fix the effect.  To blame the feminine is to blame the effect.  It doesn’t make any sense.  But we accept this reversed way of thinking because we’ve been trained to.  Everyone in the illusion is breaking their own mirror.

If you blame the feminine, you can’t solve the problem.  The feminine doesn’t have the responsibility; it’s not the cause.  The child can’t fix their parent’s belief.  The employee can’t fix their CEO’s vision.  Church members can’t fix their preacher’s mind.  Citizens can’t fix their leader’s flawed perspective.  The feminine can leave when they’ve had enough, or they can let go and become the masculine.   Fighting (or war) happens when the feminine has had enough and tries to take the power back from the masculine. Crimes are often committed against someone who reminds the criminal of their hated masculine authority.  To fix problems, the authority, masculine role, must take responsibility, fix their own mental cause, and everything will go back to perfection.  But that almost never happens in the illusion.

Early Bible stories trained our western mind to reverse our natural cause and effect thinking.  Eve (feminine) got blamed for the fall.  Moses (masculine) blames his people (feminine).  When you understand the masculine-feminine relationship in the illusion, you can’t be fooled into taking the blame any longer.

This is also true within ourselves.  When something goes wrong in our life, the cause is in our intellectual masculine mind.  Our emotions are only the messenger — we should never shoot the messenger.  If we let go of our own causal beliefs, our emotions will calm down immediately.  But often our own inner mental masculine, just like outer physical masculine authorities, wants to be right at all cost.

 

Guilt and Shame

Guilt and shame are given to us by authority figures (masculine roles).  No one is born with guilt or shame.

These two emotional states can be difficult to let go because someone else imposed them on us.  Our mind says that we can’t let guilt or shame go; the authority must free us.  Since we’re lower in power (feminine) than the authority (masculine), we think that we don’t have the right or ability to remove the causal belief.  This is a disgusting trick of the false mind.  It can keep us stuck for a whole lifetime.

The True Self is not capable of doing anything wrong because right and wrong comes from the false self.  If we did make mistakes (sins), we did so because we were caught in the illusion, a false self.  We didn’t want a false self; our authorities gave it to us when they taught us their beliefs and said they were true.  Our false self was created in the image and likeness of our false authority figures.

I’ve followed many people’s guilt and shame back to the source; they all lead to a really powerful, but rigid, authority figure (usually religious).  Crime is not caused by evil people.  Crime is caused by the religious-perpetuation of the belief in good and evil and right and wrong. We see it because we believe in it.

 

Freeing Our Mind

In my experience, and I’ve done this hundreds of times, the person who is blaming, shaming, or guilting was projecting their responsibility, negative character trait, or belief on to the person in the feminine role.  Once we take the blame, shame, or guilt, they have no reason to ever fix their problem.  Their mind feels a sort of fake freedom.  That’s why when we let their projection go, they often react with lots of emotion.  That’s their problem. When you drop blame, shame, or guilt from your mind, your True Self can breath again.

If you are someone who thinks others should be blamed or shamed or guilted, you probably aren’t reading this blog.  But just in case you are, remember that when you point the finger at another, three fingers are pointing back at you.  The cause is within your mind; and if you let go, they won’t reflect you anymore.  Letting go is always win-win for everyone.