Freeing Yourself From a False Masculine Authority Figure

Freeing ourselves from roles

By Cathy Eck

 

You left home years ago.  You felt that you were now the creator of your own life. And yet, mom and dad keep showing up. You’ve married or dated them. You’ve seen your older kids acting like them with your younger kids, and you’ve even worked for them. You know their beliefs are false; so why are they still in your life?

We have to approach this problem the same way that we would view someone in a masculine role who keeps hiring irresponsible employees, has a wife that shops till she drops, and has kids who are addicts. We have to find out the beliefs that got them in this unwanted situation.

 

Projection

We don’t realize that within our minds both the masculine and feminine roles exist. In the physical world, however, we only play one role. We can’t play two roles at one time. So the masculine role in any situation projects the role that they don’t identify with.  This is why everyone wants those powerful masculine roles.

You see, there’s no unconscious mind. We see the contents of our mind every time we look at the world through the eyes of the masculine role. We view others as separate only because they’re physically separate.  False masculine projection in the illusion creates false-self connections. Ultimately, the false masculine wants possessions — obedient slaves and fans.

If we’re in the false masculine role, we project the feminine roles necessary to fulfill our needs — patients, customers, clients, servants.  We’ll tell ourselves we’re helping them.  But we’re projecting crap roles on those who are feminine to us.  We can clean up the mess quickly and easily.  If the person in the feminine role shops too much, we must realize that we want to buy more, but we hold back. We judge waste, or we think sacrifice is virtuous.  If we think our feminine is lazy, we probably fight laziness with our will.  We have pride in our overactivity.  We see the person in the feminine role as bad or wrong.  We would never be like them.  The payoff is we get to be good or right if we keep them on the hook.

If we’re in the feminine role, the masculine roles project on us. It feels like we have to wake his or her ass up to get free.  And yet, we can’t see how that’s possible.  Their judgment feels so damn strong.  In truth, we do have beliefs that got us into the feminine role as their reflection. We aren’t victims. But we have to understand how our mind holds the false relationship to get free.

 

File Storage

To solve this dilemma, I had to go back to my computer programming days. There are lots of files on your computer’s hard drive. To find a file, you must know its name. Search for the wrong name, and you won’t find that file.  Let’s say that you find the file, and now you want to delete it. You hit delete, and the program confirms: “Are you sure you want to delete ‘name of file.'” You respond “yes.”  You were able to delete that file because you knew you no longer needed it.  The same is true with our minds; we can delete a file when we’re clear it’s useless.

Let’s say your dad (masculine role) was a bigot. You observed his judgment from the feminine role and stored his bigotry under a file named something like, “Dad is a bigot.” Or, “Southern men are bigots” if you lived in the south and all his friends were bigots. Now you think, “I can’t delete that, it’s true. He is a bigot.” No, it’s not true. It’s real. Your dad has a True Self that’s not a bigot. For you to get free, you have to free him within your mind. If you let go of your observation of him, you won’t notice his bigotry any more. It will have the same feeling as talking about banana soufflé. We feel emotions when others speak falsely only if we believe them.

Let’s say dad had a belief that you’re lazy.  Determine how you stored the file. I discovered that my mind stored such information something like: “My dad believes I’m lazy.” When you find the right words, you’ll generally feel emotion arise.  The wrong words won’t bring up the emotion.

What people fail to realize about letting go is that to get free, we have to free every person on this planet that can generate an emotion in us. It’s daunting, I know. We’re turning everyone back into their True Self within our mind.  You’ll realize this when you completely adopt the mental perspective of life.  If you see something, and are bothered by it, you’re still contributing to it with a belief.

 

Important Caution

People in false masculine roles often feel no emotion when projecting.  They believe they’re really seeing the other person’s flaw because they see the other as physical only and separate; in truth, they’re seeing their own reflection.  If you’re in the masculine role, like parent to kids, teacher to  students, preacher to congregation, you’re always contributing to any false situation or problem, I.e., win-lose, good-evil, right-wrong, dominance-submission, etc. The masculine role is always responsible.  Just let go of what you see in the other.  Don’t take the credit for the shift.  You didn’t heal the person or situation; you simply stopped torturing them.

Projection makes letting go difficult, but not impossible. We have to decipher our role to find the causal beliefs — the file name. If you feel stuck, just vent to the wall or complain to your diary. You’ll say the belief. Then don’t fall into the trap of justifying your position; just let go. Freedom requires letting go of our false notion of justice, victim and perpetrator, and wanting punishment or retribution. We all deserve freedom.  We’re all victims of the illusion.

Redefining Success the True Self Way

Judgment Day

By Cathy Eck

 

Success and Heaven on Earth

My definition of success changed the day I first saw the above image.  It’s the Egyptian Weighing of the Heart Ceremony.  The deceased must have a heart as light as a feather, or they cannot gain entrance to heaven.  This wasn’t the judgment day scene I’d been taught; it was the best guidance for living life I’d ever encountered.  It was the truth.  It’s still my favorite image, and I intend to share everything I learned from it in a book.  So I’ll just leave it at that for now.

On that sweet day, years of unsuccessful research suddenly fell into place like a puzzle magically assembling itself.  I realized that the false self has a physical focus and hears the judgment day message as something which occurs ONLY at death; the True Self has a mental focus, and views the message as a guide for life.  If our True Self leads, our life becomes orderly.  Problems and suffering disappear.

 

Success as a Currency

Success is defined by society based on false physical/material standards.  Famous or wealthy people are successful.  A big house or nice car renders us successful.  Certain labels mean success.  Our body matching popular standards means success.

Just like the amount of money in our bank account defines our financial worth, our measure of success becomes our personal worth.  False selves honor the material definitions that give them the greatest worth in the illusion.  So, we spin around, chasing false material desires, to potentially be labeled worthy.  When we fulfill those false desires, we still don’t feel worthy because we haven’t gotten our mind right.  The physical is the effect of the mental, not the other way around.

There are also intangible currencies like being nice, doing good deeds, saying socially acceptable words, serving our country, or fitting in.  These are based on achieving a proper physical appearance.  We’re want others to judge us as successful, good, or right.  If we’re honest, our judging God is actually a complex of our human authority figures’ belief systems.  We become imprisoned by their success currency; we either submit to the definitions or rebel against them.  Submission and rebellion become our dreaded bottom of the triangle.

 

Success Defined Correctly 

The correct definition of success is mentally oriented.  We want our mind to measure up to our perfect inner standards.  Then whatever we express will be perfect.  We become the masters of our life, and only our life.

After staring at the above image for hours, I wrote down my OWN definition of success:    If anyone could cut my mind open, they would find nothing but unconditional love and truth.  It’s not very complex.  I never made it my brand.  Recently, I realized that I needed to share this; I saw people I mentor getting stuck on this very point.  Defining success in this way turned my life upside down; I had to remember unconditional love and truth as they were before I dove into the illusion.

People think unconditional love is caretaking, sympathy, tolerance, sex, making someone feel good, being kind and submissive, fighting for your country, believing mom and dad’s harmful advice, and not saying fuck.  Those are all examples of conditional love.  Unconditional love exposed and dissolved every false crack and crevice in my mind.  But now, I could no longer sympathize, enable someone’s beliefs, or have national, cultural, or social pride because I would be contributing to the illusion.  Unconditional love turns our world upside down.  Unconditional love and truth (along with all other True Self qualities) were powers that were hijacked by the false self and redefined.  Supporting anyone’s false self was hate, not love.

Creating this mental definition of success was infinitely more demanding than creating material goals.  It required disabling my will and letting go of everything I believed.  It demanded that I honor my emotions completely.  It also made others, who still had a physically oriented perspective, uncomfortable.  They couldn’t project their emotions on me anymore, and I didn’t look up to them.  It takes lots of practice to live this way.  But it’s worth it.

You might think, “Cathy, where’s freedom?”  You always talk about freedom.  Returning the powers of love and truth to the True Self allows for freedom.  My definition guides everything I do.  It’s my North Star.  The unconditional love gives me courage to speak up.  Truth allows me to honor my emotions and know what’s false.

 

Your Turn

How do you want your mind to be?  Do you want it filled with creative ideas or bursting with beauty?  Do you want it to sprout fun ideas for inventions?  Do you want a quiet, peaceful, and free mind?   What makes you, YOU?  Living from YOUR definition of mental success is the only way to be free and eternally joyful in the physical world.

Next, you must let go of all physical definitions of success that you’ve believed.  They’re ALL bullshit.  Suddenly, those supermodels you admired look artificial.  The billionaires look like crooks.  The muscle men look deformed.  Competitive athletes look barbaric.  Gurus look like big egos, the very thing they claim not to have (LOL).  You’ll take back your own True Self.  We actually project our True Self on false selves who fit society’s definition of success when we look up to them and believe them.  They look good only because we see our OWN True Self in them.  Take away that false halo, and they’re impostors.  Projecting our True Self is just as handicapping as projecting the unloveable parts of our false self.

The big secret is that there’s no outer judge on a cloud who decides if we go to heaven or hell when (or I prefer if) we die.  The judge is inside of us; it’s weighing our heart each moment against our own True Self’s measure of success.  We decide if we spend today in heaven or hell.  That’s freedom.

 

 

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Letting Go Isn’t Therapy or Self-Help

Phoenix Rising out of ashes

By Cathy Eck

 

Letting go is natural.  But we’ve been trained to use our minds in a very unnatural way to keep the illusion alive.  It all began with the all-pervasive psychological reversal, the belief that a thought is true if it generates emotions.  It caused us to believe in emotionally heavy problems, injustice, war, suffering, and disease.  Once we believe these things exist, we see them.  Without that psychological reversal, all unwanted things would disappear.  Instead of healing the psychological reversal, we try to prevent our fears from manifesting, try to make peace with what we’ve already manifested, and try to release all the emotions we’ve generated.

 

Therapy and Self-Help

In therapy, people talk about their problems.  They go back to their past to understand what happened or to discover why they feel like they do.  They justify their emotions or train themselves to no longer feel them.  Therapy rarely invokes letting go.

During my early research days, I often turned on the Dr. Phil show in the afternoons for a break.  I thought it would support my efforts.  It didn’t.  It created unrelenting emotions within me.  Dr. Phil projects his moral, religious viewpoint into the world — right and wrong, good and evil.  He fixes his massive projections on the show.  He sees a reward-and-punishment world.  He believes the past creates the future.  As I moved toward my True Self, my body signaled the error in his divided point of view.  I came to realize that Dr. Phil only felt emotion when he was bad according to the Christian definition of good and bad; I felt emotion around both sides of the bottom of the triangle.

In self-help, people put ice-cream on their manure.  They get their anger out, or they make peace with their shadow.  If you let go, you no longer have anger or a shadow.  You don’t need the ice cream.  In self-help, people try to drop their ego, but they don’t even know what their ego is.  Most are trying to drop their True Self.  Trying to fix ourselves hasn’t worked because we aren’t broken.

I can explain anything that happened to anyone in five words:  “THEY FELL INTO THE ILLUSION.”  Nothing can happen to any of us without first accepting an illusory belief or putting a false self above us as our authority.

Therapy and self-help rarely find the causal belief because they’re focused on causal incidents.  They falsely assume that our emotions come from actions, events, and trauma.  They don’t realize that our emotions come from our own beliefs or believing another’s thoughts; we start accepting beliefs in our mother’s womb.  It looks like we’re born with original sin.  We might get the fallen illusory viewpoint early in life, but it isn’t who we truly are.  I suspect that’s why babies come out screaming.

When we’re truly free of a past belief, we recognize how we perpetuated it.  Every time the belief entered our conscious mind, we felt emotion.  We believed that the nervous agitation meant the thought/belief was true.  So we ran from it.  We didn’t turn and face it and say, “You are not true.”  Humans might face fears on the outside by doing dangerous activities or telling their wife they had an affair; but they rarely face their fears on the inside where it truly matters.

Therapy creates comfort in the illusion.  When the illusion’s drama gets too hot, therapy cools things down.  Self-help helps us win.  When we feel defeated, self-help beefs up our will.  Occasionally, therapy or self-help cause someone to let go; but it’s usually an accident.

 

Drama

To create drama, we think false thoughts.  When those thoughts manifest, we blame others.  We avoid responsibility for our minds and creations.  We keep our focus outward.  We even expect others to fix our emotions.

Mom feels lonely; she wants us to visit.  She thinks she has no purpose; she’s not loved.  She’s memorializing the past.  She’s repeatedly thinking false thoughts that generate emotion.  If she let them go, she wouldn’t need us to fix them.  The people in our life don’t realize that their emotions are caused by their own thinking.  When we let go, we find out how codependent we really were.  We find out why we weren’t living our life.

 

The Dreaded Plateau

Therapy and self-help are attractive because they don’t discriminate between true and false.  People often plateau in initiation because they want to keep someone else on the hook, they don’t want to let go of their projections, or there’s a part of the illusion they like.  They want the criminal punished.  They’re sure their child is lazy.  They don’t want to let go of competition because they think it makes sports fun.  They love Christmas and look forward to the excitement of the holidays.  They want the money their traditional medicine career provides.  They love going to self-help workshops.  They fear losing their hot boyfriend.  All of their friends are Christian.  Therapy and self-help don’t put such things at risk, but letting go does.  Or so we think…

We don’t have to give up anything outer by letting go.  We’re just letting go of false perspectives.  We stop wanting justice for illusory errors.  We drop competing, not sports.  We buy gifts and decorate our house with lights anytime.  We become a healer who drops labels instead of creating them.  We go to creative workshops instead of self-help.  We realize that if hot boyfriend doesn’t like our True Self, he’s wrong for us.  We see goodness in all people, not just our fellow church members.

Our false mind says that we’ll lose something we think we need or love by letting go, but it’s lying.  We can’t screw up by letting go.  We can’t lose.  Losing things that weren’t right for us is winning.  If something is truly ours, we can’t lose it.  And in my experience, if it wasn’t really mine, I didn’t miss it — not even a little.  Freedom was infinitely better.

Testing to See if a Desire is True

Is my desire true

By Cathy Eck

Desire

You’ve got this nagging desire that just won’t go away.  How do you know if it’s really a good desire to pursue?   Is it a True Self desire?  Or is it a false trap that will just get you in deep doo doo?

Or you’re mentally stuck with two seemingly equal choices.  How do you choose?

 

True Desires

Let’s review what I’ve discussed before.  A desire from your True Self will feel calm and peaceful.  You’ll enjoy thinking about it so long as you don’t start thinking about the fact that you don’t have it or start trying to figure out how to get it.  If you do that, you’ll feel emotional excitement.

A True Desire won’t solve a problem.  The True Self doesn’t know about problems.  True Self desires don’t fix effects; they’re creative in nature.

The most important test of all — it will be win-win for you and everyone on the planet.  No one will feel diminished, nor will their True Self be harmed by fulfillment of this desire.  It’s okay if their false self gets a little shaken up.

 

Deserving

The big block to fulfilling desires is frequently related to deserving or worthiness.  Often successful people thank God for their success, “Look what God gave me,” they say as they accept the award given to them by “humans.”  They often add, “You can do it too.”  They’re hoping we won’t judge their extraordinary success.  The truth is that they made choices and had beliefs that led to that success that would make sense if we could read their mind.

In the end, it’s much kinder to say to someone, “I happened to find something that lots of people want or need,” rather than, “God gave me this because I deserve it.”  The first leaves the listener with a proper understanding of the winner’s path to success.  The second leaves the listener wondering what’s wrong with them.  We’ve often been that listener, which has led to the confusion we feel around deserving.

Astrology was one of the first ways that false deserving was created.  “Look it’s on my chart that I am to rule this land.  Fuck you guys!”  Now we use it to justify being an ass.  “I can’t help but be stubborn, I’m a Taurus.”  Astrology was also made by men, not God.

Along the same line, some people go to psychics to tell them if they’re deserving.  Some use divining tools to make decisions.  Some look for signs and signals.  Some are called, which is really funny.  Who’s calling?  Dah!  Ring, ring, it’s your false self!

The bottom line is that if we desire it, and it’s a true desire, we deserve it.  And there is a way to get it….letting go of the beliefs that stand in the way.

 

Saved By a Pendulum

I cured myself of the desire dilemma after I learned the art of dousing or divining.  I thought it was insanely cool.  I found the well site on my property.  I often made great decisions using the pendulum.  I was a pendulum master.  One day, I paid attention to my mind while doing it.  I was mentally directing the pendulum to spin, and my body translated it into subtle, undetectable movements.  When I just watched my mind, I could see that I was hoping for a particular answer.  That was my desire, dah!  Or at times, my mind was afraid of the answer.  Again, I could see my real desire, but now I could see that I believed it was impossible.  Or I feared I’d pay for my desired choice later on.  My emotions were far superior; they gave me truly insightful feedback.  I ditched the pendulum.

Let’s say, I wanted to know if I would get a contract or a house I loved.  Those were stupid questions.  The answer was more complex, “If I’d let go of my doubt and beliefs about not getting the contract, I’d get it.”  “If I’d stop listening to the advice of experts, I’d get the house.”  I could drill down and decide what to let go by just asking and feeling for emotional feedback.

I was going through all of this pendulum trouble because I feared people questioning my deserving.  The pendulum was like saying, “God gave me permission to have what I want.”  People convinced me that God was moving the pendulum.  But that was a lie.  I was moving it.  I realized that I was embarrassed by my creative capacity.  I was afraid of being judged by people who were prideful of their suffering.  Others in my life believed that if God didn’t call me, I wasn’t allow to move forward.  But God didn’t know my number because God was only calling people to support his crazy illusion.  I didn’t listen to that God…he made me want to barf.  The other God, that Creator from Genesis I, he was resting…taking a long nap.  I imagined what he would say…

“What are you asking me for?  I gave you a piece of me — your True Self.  You’re a creator.  Create what’s inspiring to you and harmonious with my other kids.  I will be in every one of your creations.  However, if you create in a way that’s harmful to your brothers and sisters, I won’t be around to watch.  You’re on your own, kiddo.  I’ll always love you, but if you fuck up, I’ll miss you.”

 

The Lesson

Think about flipping that coin or asking your Magic Eight Ball what you want to know?  Just do it in your mind.  Notice what you’re hoping for.  That’s your answer.  Now check out that answer.  Is it win-win for everyone who’s a True Self?  Does it feel calm?  Is it creative.  You have your answer!  If it meets those tests, it’s True.  Now you can focus on letting go of all the beliefs that stand in the way.

 

 

 

How Do You Know If Someone is Their True Self or False Self?

True Self doesn't wear a mask.

By Cathy Eck

 

True Self Please Stand Up

In order to get free and enjoy life on earth, we must know a True Self from a false self.  It’s hard because there are many damn good clones out there.  You can take drugs, have an insight during visualization, or go through a near death experience and gain a glimpse of the truth.  Such experiences shut down our intellect.  We go beyond the construct of space and time.

But space and time aren’t the problem.  When the intellect is used correctly by the True Self; it becomes the perfect masculine — the ultimate leader and visionary.  When the false self uses the intellect, it stuffs it with knowledge, beliefs, and rules.  Then we can’t access our truth because our mental computer is a cluttered mess with badly labeled files and lots of viruses.

The real point of everything I share is to master our own mind so that we’re always discriminating.  In this way, we don’t take in files that are infected with viruses.  Our mind contains the perfect virus protection software, which keeps us living our OWN life within an imperfect world that values knowledge over wisdom.  That’s freedom.

 

Clues

Everyone is trying to get our support for their illusory world.  Our job is to not accept the role they want to cast us in.

Experts and authorities thought they were giving us the truth, and we believed them.  So how do we know who to believe?  How do we know what to let go?

The answer is right within the word believe!  Permanent lies that kind of explain things that we don’t understand aren’t necessary.  As we let go, we come to understand everything.  Until you get there, here are a few reminders!

 

1)  You can’t let go of the truth.  If you let go of everything that everyone ever said to you, you couldn’t go wrong.  You won’t go back to being a helpless baby.  That was a condition of size, not wisdom.  Babies are very wise. They get stupider as they grow up.

2)  Is the teacher/authority asking you to accept beliefs to fit into their world view?  There are many teachers who say, “I need you to wipe your slate clean,” but then they write all over it with their beliefs.  In this work, we wipe our slates clean and never allow another to write on it again without our conscious permission.  I never want you to believe something I say either, other than “You can let go.”  I explain the way the illusion is constructed only so that you might be more savvy about discriminating and not just believe everything you hear.  Eventually, when your discrimination is working again, you can let go of the knowledge I provided about the illusion.  You won’t need it anymore.  It will be the last file you delete.

3)  Do they think they have the truth and no one else does?   Everyone has the truth inside of them.  Most of us have forgotten that.  Experts think they have the truth when they have knowledge or beliefs.  They think they have something that no one else knows; they believe that makes them special.  Special and false are the same.  Knowledge and beliefs always have limits.  Just take them to the extreme to find them.  You can find the answer to anything on your own.

4)  Can they laugh at their beliefs or traditions?  If we can’t laugh at the things our false self says; it’s because we believe them.

5)  Do they want support, submission, or commitment?  You don’t have to shrink to fit into a True Self’s world.  The True Self doesn’t need to create a secure future with you.  False selves fear the future, and they want long-term commitments and certainty.  They want you to sign on the dotted line that you will never, ever change your mind and let them go.

6)  Are they trying to fix or change the illusion or float above it?  Most people in the west want to change the illusion to suit their personal tastes.  In the east, they leave it there but float above it in denial.  Neither eliminates the illusion, which is the only way to have real freedom.  Our false self can separate us from things we don’t like mentally.  But freedom only comes when we recognize that the things we don’t like are false.  They only affect our body and life if we believe them.

7)  Are they teaching you a quality that you already possess (but forgot)?  If they’re teaching you to be good, spiritual, peaceful, non-judgmental, loving, positive, or to know the truth, then you don’t need them.  They need to fix themselves.  People in the illusion all fix themselves by fixing others — nothing changes.  If we think we’ve lost our spirit, we’ll go hunting for it.  But we won’t find it.  We’ll take part of our false self and teach it to be spiritual.  We’ll create a better mask — a clone self.  When we let go, we remember that we’re all the things that religious and spiritual teachers are training our false self to be.

8)  The false self fixes one thing at the expense of another.  A person goes to a doctor or healer and gets a drug or treatment that fixes one thing but now gives them a different problem.  My son’s friend used to joke about Feng Shui.  He called it the “art of moving shit around.”  Everyone in the illusion is a Feng Shui practitioner.  They don’t fix shit, they move it around.  Old problems transform into new problems because no one ever removes the cause.  They’re just fixing effects.

That’s a start.  Everything in the illusion is backwards from the truth; but the illusion is not the opposite of Truth.  Chew on that one for a while.  The illusion is only a man-made invention; it’s completely false and has no power of its own.  It’s destructible.  When we let it go, the truth is what remains.