Respect: R-E-S-P-E-C-T, You Must Drop It To Get Free!

Respect

By Cathy Eck

 

Respect

We’re trained to give respect to others at a young age.  We’re told to respect our elders, teachers, preachers, experts, authority figures, and people of a higher class even if they harm others or give us false beliefs.  We train children to respect the false self when we’re naturally hard-wired to respect only the True Self.  This is what flips our emotions so they no longer keep us on track.  To get free, we have to reverse this training.   It isn’t easy.  We have to give up wanting false respect and stop giving undeserved respect to others.  When we don’t follow society’s rules of respect, however, people see us as bad or wrong.

Normal respect happens when someone expresses their True Self.  They love us unconditionally or see who we really are.  They do something creative or demonstrate an amazing talent.  It’s like applause or appreciation.  It’s a temporary nod of thanks for sharing something beautiful, true, or pure with us.  But even those experiences should only generate temporary respect.

False respect is a robot-like response based on mental programming.  False respect is defined by illusory social standards, qualifications, or rules.  False respect is often considered permanent once we qualify for it.  If we have been given the magic wand of false respect, we can be a jerk and people will still have to listen to us and believe us.  This is how dictators get so much power.

 

Unnatural Respect

We can’t worship two masters.  We can’t live as a True Self while worshipping or believing false selves.  What we do on the outside mirrors what we’re doing on the inside.  If we’re listening to false selves outside of us, we also respect our own false self.  We disrespecting our True Self and God.

Unnatural respect is all about one thing and one thing only.  It serves to keep people in the masculine role who don’t deserve it.  We don’t question them or their beliefs.  We shut down our discrimination.  We give them the same power in our mind that we’d naturally give our True Self: but unfortunately, they don’t deserve that position.

 

Level Confusion

Sadly, we have infused respect with level confusion.  Ideally, our True Self would inspire all of our actions.  Other people might give us ideas or teach us things, but our choices would come from inside of us.  When choices come from our True Self, they’re always win-win for all; the True Self never harms or diminishes another.

However, when someone plays their “respect me” card, we don’t believe that we can say, “No,” because the authority figure has a pedigree, knowledge, or a role.  They didn’t earn our respect.  This is often hard to see.  We confuse the knowledgeable or privileged false self with the wise, omnipotent True Self.  We believe their authority is earned, but it isn’t.  Often the people with the most rules and beliefs are placed in positions of authority.  Unnatural respect slams us into the feminine role underneath false leaders.  Then we feel powerless to reclaim what’s rightfully ours.

 

FEAR…FEAR…and more FEAR

When we recognize that people who said they loved us were operating from win-lose beliefs, we naturally lose our false respect for them.  That makes sense.  We feel bad because we want to respect everyone.  But false selves don’t deserve respect.  If we look below the urge to obey them, we’ll find the fear, the beliefs, and the rules that need to go.

As we let go, we hear the voices of the people who have controlled our mind.  We must stand firm and discriminate, but our automatic reaction is usually to just obey or try to keep the peace.  We must do our best to only give respect to our own True Self, and that means disrespecting false selves no matter how much they scare or threaten us.  We have to let them go.  When we completely let the false voices within go, the people without lose their power as well.  It’s like we become invisible to them.

Finally, we’ve cleared out our OWN mind; we now deserve natural respect.  We no longer judge.  We think in win-win ways.  We’ve lost our fear.  We love our mind.  But the people around us don’t give us natural respect.  They’re still listening to and respecting false selves because they’re afraid not to.  This can be the worst stage of all.  We’ve worked so hard to reconnect with our wisdom and truth, and people think we’re full of shit because we aren’t saying what the false selves say.  It’s tempting to turn back, and I suspect many do.  Some get stuck in anger at this stage when people in their lives ask them to prove themselves; the people should ask their false authorities for justification but they’re afraid of their false authorities.

In these moments, we’re facing the earliest moments in childhood when we accepted the illusion because we believed we had no choice.  We couldn’t go off on our own; we were too young.  We’re remembering being small and yet knowing the truth, but no one understood or heard us.  Maybe we couldn’t even talk yet, but we felt emotion when something was false.  We cried.  For some, that was pretty much all the time.  Why didn’t they feel the same emotions?  Why did they demand our respect?  Why were we seen as bad or wrong?

If you allow this  sadness, powerlessness, and despair to erupt and listen as your beliefs arise, you’ll realize that you accepted beliefs about the world, yourself, and other people that weren’t true.  Listen, as your beliefs rise into your mind.  Realize they all generate strong emotion so they’re false; notice that they aren’t win-win for everyone.  Let them go.  You’re no longer a powerless child.  You did nothing wrong.  You were just an innocent True Self.  People who didn’t remember who they were saw you as flawed.  They were wrong.  You can let their error go now and be free.

Too Good To Be True, Etc.

La Jolla

By Cathy Eck

 

In my mentorship program, I require participants to write down their personal version of Heaven on Earth.  It isn’t the same for any two people.  But there is a harmony among them.  There’s never a case where one person’s Heaven on Earth would prevent another from having their Heaven on Earth.  That’s how I know they’ve tapped into something true.

After writing their Heaven on Earth, I ask them to write about their reality.  The difference is huge.  I learn a lot about them.  I learn what brings them joy.  I also learn what’s currently bringing them pain and suffering.  If they’ve been involved in New Age or Eastern religions, they’ll have a hard time writing this document.  They’ve become quite good at ignoring their desires or making them bad.  If they’ve been in western religion, they have lots of desires, but their reality is not even close.  Often they’re embarrassed by the desires; they think they don’t deserve them.  Or they think they’ll get them when they die if they go to the Heaven sold by religion.

In some cases, their mind and emotions work for them.  When they read their Heaven on Earth, they feel calm and peaceful.  Life feels right.  When they read their reality statement, they feel emotional and powerless.  Their emotions are pointing to the beliefs that are causing this gap.  The True Self would have no gap between reality and Heaven unless it’s a fun gap.  It also wouldn’t have emotional agitation.

When we understand this, we see how religion and spiritual teachings make people miserable.  They’re pushing Heaven away from earth by causing people to believe that their desires are imaginary, wrong, or impossible.  Most people are basking on the fringes of hell while telling themselves that they’re almost in heaven.  Spiritual and miserable are close cousins in the illusion.  Most people don’t see this, but they would if they watched themselves talk.

 

Defeat or Drop

The illusion looks very powerful and impossible to defeat for most of us.  Some people achieve success by finding a crack.  Others have strong wills and win a battle or two.  But nobody wins the war.  The illusion eventually kills us all.  It’s impossible to defeat the illusion by fighting it.  No one has ever won that war, and no one ever will.  However, it’s possible to forget the illusion — to not believe it exists.  And when enough of us do that, it won’t exist anymore for anyone.  Earth will be Heaven again.

There are some big beliefs that fuel the notion that our dreams are impossible or imaginary, and our reality is painfully true.  The main one is that people think thoughts that generate emotion are true, when they are actually false.  This keeps us all living like salmon trying to jump upstream.  It’s hard work.  I wouldn’t want to be a salmon.

With each of these false statements below, notice that they aren’t win-win for everyone.  Either some people must lose, or everyone must lose.  Also, if you pay attention to your emotions, you’ll see they’re false beliefs.  If they do feel good, look for some sneaky-ass pride telling you that you’re good for having this belief.  Or see if you’re labeling the emotion excitement.

 

It’s Too Good to be True

It’s easier to see how disgusting this statement really is when you look at the opposite.  “If it’s really bad and I’ll hate it, It’s true.”  We often say things like “It’s Too Good to be True” to make ourselves seem humble.  If we were all shining brightly, no one would be humble.  Only arrogant people will tell us that we need to be humble.  Only those who want company in their misery will tell us that “It’s Too Good to be True.”  If something feels calm and peaceful, it’s true.  We don’t need to prove that to anyone.

 

Hard Work is a Virtue

Most of us in America have ye olde Puritan Ethic.  We’re embarrassed or labeled lazy if something comes to us easily.

In common conversations, normal people whine, complain, blame, or look for justification, praise, or support for their “life is hard work” point of view.  No wonder many of us would rather be alone on an island.  If hard work was virtuous, it would make us happy and joyful too.

After letting go for a while, I didn’t have anything to complain about.  People didn’t notice.  They just saw my silence as more air time for them to bitch.  After awhile, I decided there was no value in many relationships.  I couldn’t see that when I was complaining half of the time.  Normal crappy relationships looked like friendship.

I wondered what a real friendship looked like.  I realized that I wanted to talk about fulfilling my dreams, creative ideas, and new things I learned.   One day, it hit me.  Those were things that I talked about when I was young.  Maybe we get old and sick only because we keep accepting more and more of the illusion as true until it kills us.

 

Some Things Never Change

This statement screams level confusion.  The True Self doesn’t change.  All creative potential doesn’t need to change.  The false self should continue to change along with the True Self, but as people get older, they usually resist change.  A baby changes from week to week, children change from year to year.  Adults change from decade to decade, and most old people don’t change at all.  Then what’s the use of living anymore?  So we don’t.

 

Think of some more of these widely accepted false beliefs, and let them go.  If you notice yourself saying them, pay attention to why you said them.  Close the hole in your false mind by letting go of the reason you said it.  Do this enough, and the distance between your reality and your Heaven on Earth will shrink.  Until one day, they gap will be gone.

 

 

 

Rebellion and Denial aren’t Letting Go

Rebellion and Denial

By Cathy Eck

 

Are We Really Letting Go?

Taking action to fix a situation is fixing the effect of our beliefs, not letting go.  We’re often so used to fixing effects that we don’t even think to let go first.  Now that being said, we will probably continue to take actions to fix some effects for awhile.  Some problems have so much power that we have to gain proficiency in letting go and trusting our emotions before we don’t need to take any action at all.  Nevertheless, it’s important that we recognize if we’re fixing effects.  In this way, we can still let go after the fact and continue moving toward freedom.

For most of us, there are obvious problems that we know we must let go.  They’re in our face; and we can see that we need to let go of our beliefs around these issues.  Then there are problems or beliefs that we deny or rebel against.

We usually deny beliefs because we’ve become so proficient at fixing them with action or compensating beliefs that we forget we’re fixing effects.  We’re sure we no longer believe the things that we’re still fixing.  But if we stop fixing the effect for some reason, we’ll be reminded of that belief.  Let’s say we believe in evil, but we believe our religion will keep us safe from it.  Then we leave that religion, and we fear evil again.  In denial, we pretend a belief that we clearly hold as true doesn’t exist in our mind.  Denial facilitates projection.  When we deny beliefs, we see them in others but not in ourselves.  We often judge those who act out our beliefs.

In rebellion, it feels as if the belief is coming at us from others.  We have beliefs in our mind that say we must believe what some other person believes.  We can’t see that we hold the causal belief that allows this person into our mind.  Usually they’re an authority in our life.  We often think we can’t let go of their belief, so we do the opposite.

 

Rebellion

Many people think they are no longer rebelling when their opponent has stopped fighting.  The non-action appears to indicate resolution.  But we’re stuck on one side of the bottom of the triangle mentally with our opponent silently holding the opposite.  Justifying our position or saying we won can look a lot like freedom, but it isn’t.

Let’s say that our mother wants us to go to college.  We don’t go; in time, our mother doesn’t bring up the topic anymore.  It’s easy to think that we’ve resolved this issue.  But we haven’t.  College becomes the elephant in the room.  Our mother is always looking for a reason to point out what she perceives as our error.

Fortunately, if one lets go of the bottom of the triangle, the other must.  We dissolve the false self connection.  We must look at why we believe our mother’s beliefs or judgments of us.  If we see her beliefs or judgments as false, they will lose all power.  We’ll know without a doubt that our True Self guided us perfectly.

The best way that we can prove the rightness of our True Self is to let go of whatever others throw at us.  We must know that what they throw our way isn’t true for us.  People will do this until we can’t be rattled anymore.  Then they stop.  The elephant leaves the room.

 

Denial

Denial is a coping mechanism of our false self.  We’re living in a situation that we hate, but we tell ourselves it’s the way life is or we need to accept what is.  We need this job.  We’ll be lonely if we leave the marriage.  We might say we’re good for putting up with something that isn’t acceptable to us.  We might believe we don’t deserve more.  Often denial is masked in words of forgiveness or in trying to sound nice.  Denial is often a sign that we’ve become good at losing.

I was taught that being a good loser was virtuous.  I was told to considered losing part of life…you win some and you lose some.  But then I realized that win-lose wasn’t normal or true.  I had to let go of all my goodisms that made other people’s winning at my expense right — sayings like “accept what is” or “they did the best that they could” weren’t true.  We weren’t designed to accept intolerable situations, judgment from others, or living in small boxes.  We aren’t doing the best we can if we are living from beliefs.

The key to my relief was in recognizing that my True Self sorted the world based on true and false.  I wasn’t making someone bad or wrong by not believing them.  I was just choosing my own freedom; they could choose what they wanted for themselves.  Realizing that beliefs are false regardless of who imposes them on us is what frees us.

 

Ultimately, our life belongs to us.  It’s our journey, and we were meant to live from our True Self.  When we rebel against a belief that another possesses and tries to impose on us, or we deny that we have a belief, we remain stuck in the illusion and chained to others.  We stay stuck where we don’t belong.  We make actions right that have been fueled by false thinking.  We fight with others when there is really nothing to fight about.

As we get rid of rebellion and denial, we become more comfortable living our life.  We aren’t bothered by other people’s beliefs because we know that one can only harm themselves with their beliefs.  They can no longer project into our life and body.  Their beliefs do not impact us even if they think they should.  This is where real power begins to erupt within us.  We start to truly live as creators of our own life.

 

Problems: The Gift that Keeps on Taking in the Illusion

It's not what we do, it's why we do it.

By Cathy Eck

 

Problems?

My dad was an engineer.  He loved to take things apart and put them back together.  He loved fixing things.  When we would break something, he was thrilled.  He got a chance to fix something.  He often said, “There isn’t anything that can’t be fixed.”  I loved those words, but I didn’t like problems.  In fact, I hated them.

While he was clearly talking about the material world and stuff, I heard his words on a completely different level.  His words fueled my quest to fix my mind and my body, even when others said it wasn’t possible.  His words provided a valuable reminder as I took my own mind apart that it could be fixed.  I thought I’d have to put my mind back together once I got all the pieces spread all over the floor.  But most of the pieces were unnecessary.  They weren’t keeping my body running or making my life better. They were just causing problems.  These unnecessary mental components weren’t true or necessary for joyful expression; they were simply someone else’s worthless beliefs that were like parasites.  They sucked the life out of me while giving nothing in return.

My dad was passionate about fixing things; he used his passion to help us out when needed.  But, he didn’t break things just to fix them.  If he couldn’t find anything to fix, he used his talents creatively by finding things to build.  He enjoyed the bottom of the triangle illusory state of fixing and breaking if the opportunity arose to play there, but he used it in a way that didn’t harm others.  He showed me that the illusion can be a sort of playground if we don’t take it seriously or force it on others.

 

Fixing and Breaking

The bottom of the triangle isn’t bad if used in a win-win way (directed by the True Self).  Old buildings must be destroyed before a new one can be erected.  Likewise, we destroy our false mind so we can rebuild it.  If we know the difference between True and false and creating from First (win-win) and Second (win-lose, good-evil) Cause, we can live outside the suffering that most people consider normal.  We avoid creating problems, and we can help others leave their problems behind if they ask for help.

As long as people break things, we’ll need people who fix them.  Nevertheless, we must understand how to use our talents properly on the way out of the illusion.  On the way into the illusion, we project our beliefs on to others and then fix the effect of our projection in the others.  We retain unwanted beliefs, often for financial gain.

I first noticed the power of win-win when I worked in technology. Someone would call me for tech support, and I’d just talk with them.  Often I had no clue what their problem was, and I sure as hell didn’t know the answer.  But they did.  If I talked in the correct general direction, they solved the problem themselves.  My clients were all becoming computer experts. They became confident that they could fix their own problems.  That made my job really easy.  I could focus on creating new ideas and products instead of fixing other people’s problems.  We were both happier.

This only works if we can see our creative potential, and if we don’t believe that we need customers for life.  I think dentistry is the worst example of second-cause creation.  They tell their patients to come in every six months so they can look for the problems that they expect to find so they can fill, drill, and bill.  I recently read a study that said people with the best teeth often don’t go to the dentist much.  Made sense to me.

Dentists, and other service people, don’t have to walk away from their professions; there’s a proper transition toward freedom.  First, they become a dentist that expects to find perfect teeth.  They do that by letting go of their knowledge and labels for problems; they recognize that problems come from beliefs and many of those beliefs are perpetuated by them.  In accounting, they’d call their expensive dental schooling a sunk cost.  It has no future value so you just write it off and move on.  They slowly wean their clients off of them and follow their creative inspiration to a better life.

 

The Lesson

With my dad, we were willing supporters in something that brought him fun.  Fixing stuff is clearly part of the illusion, but it was a fun, first-cause part of the illusion for him.  We didn’t need to break things to please him.  Often he involved us in the fixing process, contributing to our self-sufficiency and confidence that “Anything could be fixed if it happened to break.”   His knowledge wasn’t bad because it was directed by his True Self.  He still fixes things in his community for a cookie or beer, but only if asked to do so.

The dentist (and most fixers) make knowledge (expertise) more powerful than wisdom (truth).  He or she projects problems by believing that they’re true.  When I was little, I screamed when taken to the dentist.  I noticed they often had ugly or highly repaired teeth.  I felt their convoluted energy as they projected their flawed point of view on me.  Their beliefs got them bad teeth, and now they wanted me to have them too.  That’s second-cause creation; it’s how we perpetuate the illusion.

As we move through the path of initiation, we’re letting go of second-cause creations, beliefs, and memories.  They weren’t necessary parts of our mind or our life so we won’t miss them.  They were problems that only existed in the illusion — they appeared real but weren’t true.  After we trash these unwanted and unneeded components of our mind, we see that they created unnecessary detours and problems in our life.  We won’t ever make that mistake again.

Win-Win and Our Bodies

An apple a day

By Cathy Eck

Lose-Lose

People often write to me asking for help with physical problems.  My body has been a huge challenge for me, mostly because the illusion is filled with beliefs about our bodies; and people in my life had rigid body beliefs and enormous trust in experts.  I, on the other hand, found the things that people do to fix their bodies repulsive.  I’ve had a lot to let go, and I’m not done.  But I do know where I’m going.  Here’s what I’ve learned.

The illusion is physically or effect oriented.  We see something wrong in our bodies, and we go to an expert.  We trust whatever they diagnose.  We put their knowledge in our mind and hope it fixes our problem.  We ignore the fact that experts see what they believe — projection.

We ignore our True Self’s wisdom and our own emotional discrimination that’s probably screaming at us.  We’ve given false masters dominion over our body in so many ways, usually out of fear.  Until we confront our fears, they lie under the surface waiting to trap us one day.  We’re playing the health lottery; and the odds of winning are decreasing every day.

Fixing the effects of our false thinking causes slow mental degradation.  We dive even deeper in the illusion every time we fix effects.  We’ve given our money and power to someone else; we’ve put them in a false masculine role over us without realizing it.  We’ll need them again because the cause isn’t really gone.  Eventually, we’ll encounter a problem that no expert can solve.  If we have no awareness of our True Self, that problem will kill us or severely deteriorate our quality of life.  It’s insane that we call that normal.

When the illusion wins, we ALL lose because everyone has fueled beliefs.  It gets harder for anyone to break free.  It’s imperative that we stop feeding the illusion.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying to go cold turkey regarding fixing bodily effects.  Sometimes we have to fix or minimize the effects to get rid of enough fear to let go.  The best way to fix a bodily problem is to follow what we believe.  But later, when things calm down, we should look for the cause and let it go.

 

Win-Lose 

Start with the easy stuff.  Recently I saw a quiz on Facebook that said, “Are you toxic?”  I knew what it would ask:  How often do you work out?  Do you drink?  Smoke?  How many servings of fruit and vegetables do you eat daily?  Do you eat fast food?  As I suspected, all the questions were physically oriented.  State of mind was ignored completely.

Health is the illusion’s new religion.  Athletes and models are our false Gods.  We deem their bodies perfect and strive to look like them.  Whatever makes them beautiful, we’ll buy and copy.

We’re hard wired to trust beautiful people.  But we must make sure that we know what beautiful really looks like.

According to the Facebook quiz, everyone should feel guilty and buy cleanses and diet plans and hire personal trainers.  When we’re told what to do, we’ll either rebel or blindly follow.  Either way, we’re supporting the illusion.  We’ll never find the top of the triangle.  The false God is a marketing genius.

This is hard for many people to see.  If they’ve fixed something with knowledge, a program, or practice, they don’t feel the discord of their own beliefs and knowledge anymore.  They judge those who aren’t fixing their effects in the same way.  They’ve projected out their definition of wrong on to those who eat wrong (in their opinion) or don’t work out.  If they stop their practice, their projection will come right back to them.  When we fix effects, we have to keep the belief in the fix alive.

 

Win-Win

If we get to our True Self perspective, we’ll eat and do what’s right for us.  The ancient people said that the body was the effect of the mind.  If we let go of all body beliefs, we’ll end up bodily wise and beautiful.  However, I suspect that we’d not recognize such beauty today.

Let’s design this toxicity test from the ancient perspective:  Do you love drama?  Whine?  Judge others or yourself?  Do you criticize your body?  Do you fix the effects of your body’s problems?  Do you hold rigid food and exercise beliefs?  Do you believe experts over your True Self?  If so, you’re mentally toxic to yourself and others.  You’re perpetuating the illusion of health and beauty.

Real transformation comes from the inside out.  It’s slow; we go through an awkward stage that makes us constantly want to turn back.  We find more beliefs than we can even imagine.

The mental test represents a perspective that heals the mind and the body; the physical test fixes only the body/effect.  Jesus himself said, “Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.” (King James Matthew 15:11)  I like to quote that when my Christian friends behave like food police — shuts them up in a hurry.

The mental win-win perspective is fair to everyone.  The homeless person can practice letting go and be healthy, beautiful, and happy just like the rich person.  Everyone can be uniquely beautiful.

Someone who wants to hold on to their false self won’t like the mental test.  But it’s time for those who benefit from the illusion to lose their false power.  Sadly, the people who say they love us and care for us are often the ones killing us with their rigid beliefs.  As we muster the courage to challenge their beliefs, our body relaxes and heals.  Our True Self stays in power; and we return to our natural state of health, joy, and beauty.