By Cathy Eck
NO LABELS, NO LIES
If you’ve been reading this blog, you know that beliefs are disruptive lies that come disguised as the truth. That’s why we accept them into our mind without discriminating. We give others our beliefs with the intention of controlling or helping them because we can’t see beyond the belief to recognize that it’s false. Labels are simply a collection of beliefs that we either hate or love. Like beliefs, we often accept them without discrimination.
To escape the illusion, we must have precision in our words. That precision supports us in seeing the difference between something illusory and something true. The triangle process is a good way to develop word precision. It helps us get real and identify what’s truly happening when words are exchanged.
The meaning of words is often reversed or confused in the illusion. Beliefs are treated as if they’re true. The false God is treated as the Creator; occult is confused with initiation. Goodness, in the illusion, becomes obedience to authority. Winning morphs into success when another loses. The illusion is all about level confusion.
Labels beg for word precision. If you don’t have word precision, you confuse and harm others. We do to others what was done to us until we recognize that what was done to us was false. People in the illusion label people for eternity. They say, “You’re incurable.” You’re a victim of wackadoodle disease.” “You’re an idiot.” “You’re ugly.” “You’re fat.” “You’re a Smith and will always be a Smith.” “You’re an Asian, gay, or Hispanic.” The one label that would not harm us, we rarely use, “You’re a human being.”
Labels also go the other direction, which is just as bad and more seductive. “You’re a genius.” “You’re beautiful.” “You’re the Dali Lama.” “You’re a saint.” or “You’re an old soul.”
Then there are the labels that we give ourselves. After I sold my technology business, I decided I wanted to go naked — not without clothes — without labels. People would, of course, ask me what I did. I’d say, “Nothing.” No one could accept that. “Are you a housewife? A mother? A retiree? A homeless person? A fucking antisocial idiot?” They wanted me to own a label dammit.
Eventually, we figure that if we’re going to get labeled anyway, we’d better label ourself. “I’m an artist.” “I’m a Muslim.” “I’m a sufferer of wackadoodle disease.” You watch, someone labeled hypochondriac will think they have that disease! “I’m a fighter for truth.” “I’m an engineer.” “I’m shy.” The very way we speak labels by saying “I am” or “You are” gives them permanence, making change difficult or impossible.
Labels Can Feel Like Murder
We must choose our wording carefully when discussing labels. When someone asks what I do? I answer in a temporary way. Currently I mentor people and write. In that way, I’m not defined by my current activity. But our friends and family are often unkind and more permanent in choosing their labels. They say, “You’re so….. You’re a …… You always ….. You never…..” They believe that what they see in us is true; it’s not.
I learned to watch my language carefully in business. If I defined someone by their errors, I’d destroy a very good employee. With my children, I learned the same lesson. I didn’t want to ruin my perfect child. In the masculine role, I had to discriminate between true and false constantly. It took lots of practice. We all behave as false selves at times. We live in a fucking false world. That’s reality. But that isn’t who we are.
I learned that the truth looked like this, “You’re acting irresponsible today.” The person was acting in a false way. If it was my projection, the situation went away. I avoided breaking my precious mirror. If they were asking for help without knowing it, I offered help. Often people do shitty things to us or behave in ridiculous ways because they’re asking for help without knowing it. Letting go and then speaking in this way healed 80% of the situations. The others were not correctable by me because they showed me something that they were reflecting for someone else in their life. They wanted me to fix their handler; and I couldn’t do that. But I could help them let go from the feminine role.
But one caution, this isn’t about saying the prettier words. It’s about knowing the person isn’t inherently what they’re doing in this moment.
You Are vs. You Are Acting
You are acting… is a statement that opens the door to discover causal beliefs. We can’t fix or find the cause of a problem if we think the problem is true — truth is immortal. We don’t make friends or love someone by labeling them in a permanent way with “You are…” We put them up against a wall when we do that. No one can fix or change the truth. We must admit something is false to let it go. That is the secret of letting go. Knowing that the words we thought or heard weren’t true.
If a doctor says, “You’re incurable,” find a new doctor. If a teacher labels you ADD, get a new teacher. If your preacher projects his sin on you, for God’s sake run like hell and find your True Self. Sadly, people marinate in the soupy projection of false masculine roles until they believe that the stone cast upon them was deserved. It changes them forever and locks them into the illusion without an exit. The only way to escape the label is to realize that it’s false. We were just not acting like ourselves. Or the person who said it was seeing their own reflection.
Once we realize that we’re just an actor, we can release the role we’ve played. We can return to our own life path and find the happy ending to OUR own story. We don’t have to live with our labels anymore.