The Passive-Aggressive Masculine Role

black and white panda passive-agressive behavior

By Cathy Eck

 

Victims of the Illusion

We’re all victims of the illusion — not victims of each other.  Passive-aggressive behavior isn’t exclusively male; it lives within the collective masculine role.  Men just play the masculine role more often.

Passive-aggressive authority figures look nice, but under the surface they’re aggressive and volatile.  They create havoc all around them while looking like the calm in the eye of the storm.  Americans love to elect passive-aggressive people into office.  That’s why we’re almost always at war.  Passive-aggressive people don’t see their own aggression within because it’s covered with a highly polished mask.  They think they are their mask.

To emotionally-connected people, the passive-aggressive masculine role looks good but feels bad.  It’s confusing.  We expect people to be internally and externally congruent.

To those who can’t feel emotions, the passive-aggressive masculine role looks too good to be true.  They’ll put them on a pedestal to admire and worship — like royalty, stars, or elite.

 

Making the Passive-Agressive Person

If I want to create a passive-aggressive male, I’ll program his mind while he’s young.  First, I’ll create an emotional, angry male — the aggressive part — by consistently imposing my beliefs on him.  I won’t honor his True Self.  I’ll tell him that he’s inherently bad — a sinner.  When he reflects my flaws, I remind him how bad he is.  “Life is suffering and struggle,” I say.  “Hard work is a virtue.”  That will all feel horrible, but I’ll tell him that his emotions mean it’s true — so deal with it.  Don’t cry about it.  It’s the way life is.

If the boy was raised in eastern traditions, I’ll tell him to accept his karma or caste.  I’ll destroy his hopes and dreams, and even deprive him of choices regarding work or love.  When he has a natural emotional reaction to my beliefs, I’ll remind him that his emotions mean I’m speaking the truth.  I’ll teach him to respect others who share my beliefs.

When I’ve broken him, psychologically reversed him to ignore or hate emotions, made him blindly obedient to my beliefs, and am sure he’s repulsed by the truth, I’ll put a nice wrapper on his aggressive masculine.  I’ll teach him morals, rules, and manners — to look nice and kind.  I’ll teach him to never look inward.  His outer-directed focus will project his suppressed aggressive side out.  He’ll spend his life trying to fix, kill, or control his own projection.  He’ll do to others what was done to him and think he’s good.

He’ll use his emotions to protect his beliefs or to look charismatic.  He’ll go to war and kill the enemy for his beliefs.  He’ll rigidly defend his religion and culture.  He’ll be proud when he converts people to his belief system.  He’ll unconsciously seek aggression and competition like a heat-seeking missile.  When things go wrong, he’ll view himself as a victim of his own feminine projection.  When things go right, he’ll declare his beliefs right and true again.

 

Black Sheep

The people who play the reflective, feminine role for the passive-aggressive masculine role are the black sheep.  The feminine role is the aggressive projection of the passive-looking masculine.  If we got out of childhood without passive-aggressive programming, we get tricked into relationships with people who look nice and hide aggression because we don’t understand our emotions.  Our emotions signal when we’re entering into a false-self relationship, but we think it’s a great opportunity, chemistry, romantic love, sexual attraction, or excitement.  The illusion has endless tricks to capture us.

As long as we don’t challenge the passive-aggressive masculine role’s beliefs, their aggression gets projected elsewhere.  They adore us because we’re on their side.  But if we expose the aggression, say no to them, or disagree, we become the enemy.  The passive-agressive masculine isn’t looking for friendship, love, or partnership.  They’re looking for agreement that they’re right and good.  Their only desire is to keep up their nice, kind, spiritual, or good persona.  Exposure is their biggest fear.

We label those who play OSCAR-worthy reflective feminine roles mentally ill or hysterical.  They explode when the situation doesn’t seem to merit the reaction because they feel the underlying aggression coming from the masculine.  They commit crimes, and can’t explain why.  If we don’t have a strong mask ourselves (children, introverted women, creative people, sensitive men, etc.), we’ll flow swiftly down their passive-aggressive stream; and we don’t make sense even to ourselves.

The passive-aggressive masculine is an old pattern.  It’s been used by political and spiritual leaders for thousands of years to create blindly obedient slaves.  It’s the false God, which is nothing more than a composite of our early authority figures.

When passive-aggressive behavior infects a relationship, it’s difficult to cure.  Both people think the other is the cause.  The passive-aggressive masculine role actually holds the cause, the feminine role acts out the effect.  To stop the destruction, both people must pay attention to THEIR own minds.  They must stop the compulsion to fix the other.

The masculine role must let judgmental thoughts about others go because they are their projection.  Passive-agressive minds hold on to thoughts about others that feel bad.  They get their worth from mentally comparing themselves to others who they see as bad or wrong.  

The feminine role must follow their emotions to the causal thoughts.  They’ll end up in what feels like the passive-aggressive person’s mind.  They don’t need to change their mind, they just need to let the belief go by recognizing it’s false.  

The aggression wasn’t anyone’s fault; we all got it as innocent children.  But it’s absolutely our responsibility to correct it.  When we let our aggressive side go, we no longer need the passive mask.  We become our True Selves.  This changes our relationships, ourselves, and the world.  We no longer look too good to be true; we’re just plain good.  And the black sheep in our life suddenly become lily white.  They no longer have to reflect what we can’t see.  They too can be themselves.  

Exposing my Inner Comedian — Comedy is Honest

Steve Kaplan

By Cathy Eck

 

Comedy

I love comedy, but I’m not fond of jokes, silliness, or trickery.  I didn’t understand my perspective of comedy until I found Steve Kaplan.  So when I got an email saying that I could repeat his intensive at a very reduced rate, I jumped on it.

I must explain that if the Dali Lama was at the Starbuck’s across the street, I wouldn’t even twitch my leg.  But for Steve, I happily drove to LA.  I know my truth, but I didn’t know how my truth fit into the world of comedy.  I knew this was the next step in my quest for mental freedom, and I felt inspired to accept the role of student for a weekend.

Steve has done for comedy what I’ve done with beliefs.  Steve has watched endless comedy movies, studied the art of comedy throughout history, and most important, Steve has let go of everything that he thought he knew about comedy so that he could see with fresh eyes and hear with fresh ears.

 

7th Sense

Awhile back, I declared humor to be the seventh sense.  I knew that was true because when I could laugh at my past, I was free of it.  Laughter was like a super power.

According to Steve, humor and truth walk hand-in-hand.  Comedy is honest.  Comedy says what is natural, not what is expected or politically correct.

Last night, Bill Maher was on Jay Leno’s show.  Jay acknowledged Bill for being nominated for 32 Emmys, but never winning.  Jay said (paraphrased):  “Unlike most of us comedians who say that others like and want to hear, you say what others need to hear.  I hope I’m around when you finally get what you deserve.”  Bill is funny without making jokes; he says what is obvious and honest.  We laugh.  He has a job because so few people have the balls to say what is obvious.  Most of us fear humiliation or punishment.

For much of my life, I was surrounded by people who believed that “The truth hurts.”  My inner comedian said that the truth will set you free, but no one believed me.  I put my inner comedian on the shelf in my mid-twenties.  I’d just won the Toastmasters’ East Coast Comedy Competition.  But I couldn’t compete further because my boss wouldn’t let me off work, and my husband didn’t even know I’d competed.  They didn’t find me funny.  I figured that I had a deformed view of comedy.  I’d be better off not using it.  But that felt like part of me died.

Comedy is truthful in Steve Kaplan’s perspective, but it isn’t unkind.  I’d guess that Steve’s Jewish — most people in movies or Hollywood are.  Yet, he starts off his seminar telling a Hitler joke.  Then he says, “Why is a joke funny about a person who was responsible for killing 60,000,000 people?”  Steve didn’t say, “Hitler killed 6,000,000 Jews.”  He said, “Hitler killed 60,000,000 people.”  Steve recognizes as important and worthy 54,000,000 more people than the average Joe.  That’s why he can see into the depths of comedy — below the silly jokes.  The truth on any subject unites people and makes everyone worthy.

 

Beliefs

Given my focus in life, Steve blew me away when he walked up to a student and told him that he’d been looking at his stuff over lunch, and it sucked.  He went to a woman and said that he’d also looked at her writing, and it was amazing.  He was lying to both of them, and he later admitted that.  But the victims’ faces didn’t register lies even after he admitted lying.  The guy looked like he was going to cry; and the woman looked like she might lift off at any moment.

His point was that we believe words even when they’re lies. However, comedy happens when we tell the truth.  Comedy is the natural response for a particular situation and a particular character.  It’s what flies out of our mouth without going through our false-self editing process.

We’ve all lost our funny because we’re all trained to edit everything we say.  We look for what we should say, not what’s natural and true.  We even try to get into other people’s minds, where we don’t belong, so we can say what they expect.

Steve played a clip of a Soap Opera, “All My Children.”  A man and women were talking.  He explained that drama is unnatural.  People say what they need to say to look good, be strong, and be in control.  There’s the life lesson — the cause of drama.  Drama is the effect of people not saying what’s natural.  They say what will make them look good, right, in control, positive, expert, or spiritual.  The false self wants approval or control, not resolution of their problems, true love, or harmonic relationship.  Trying to get those false needs met creates drama, which ironically ends up costing the person the very approval and control they desire.

 

My Desire

Steve’s intensive validated what my True Self knew about comedy.  Initiation works that way.  You unveil the truth within you, and then you find others who validate your true perspective.

I wasn’t there to become Steve or memorize Steve’s words so I could quote them and sound knowledgeable.  I wasn’t there to find myself.  I wanted to be able to remember events of my past that I still held in mind in a dramatic way and allow them to transform into comedy.  When we can laugh at something; it has no power over us anymore.

Seriousness (gravity) is the demise of the True Self; it puts us in the grave.  Lightness (enlightenment) is comedy or seeing the funny in the false self.  The false self (illusion) is just one big lie pretending to be true.  It wants us to believe that the truth hurts, but it doesn’t.  When we laugh at the false self by telling the truth, we expose it and destroy it’s power.  It truly does set us free.

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part IV)

We aren't victims

By Cathy Eck

 

Here are a few more tips on escaping the role of victim forever.  You might want to read Part I, Part II, and Part III first.

No one is a victim of another — that’s the illusion.  We’re all victims of the illusion, until we escape.  

Remember that any benefits you get from living a victim role are so small compared to what you’ll receive from freedom.  The escape isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it.

 

Judgment Vs. Discrimination

A victim confuses judgment and discrimination.  (I’ve written about that here).  We must get to the place where our feminine side doesn’t believe others that judge us because their words feel bad — so they aren’t true.  We also have to get to the place where we stop judging others (masculine side).  We must realize that if we have an untrue belief about another, we’re generating emotions in our body and feeding our false self.

Even Hitler had a pure True Self; unconditional love means that we let go of what we see in him so we can remember who he really is.  What you then realize is that when you only see unconditional love in another, they can’t hurt you.  But you can’t fake it until you make it.  You must get to the place of unconditional love by honest letting go, not mental gymnastics.

 

Sympathy

The victim has been trained to be sympathetic rather than compassionate (more here).  Sympathy causes us to take on the unwanted beliefs of others when we choose to entrain with their emotions.  The victim is emotional because they hold beliefs in mind instead of truth.  When we entrain with their emotions, we get their beliefs in our mind as a bonus.  We’re told sympathy is good by the illusion because it perpetuates our false selves.  Once we’ve sympathized with others, and destroyed our life, we expect others to join us in misery.  But someone has to say “NO MORE.”  We have to move to compassion.

Compassion has the balls to say, “Let go. The Emperor is naked.”  Compassion tells the truth fearlessly.  Compassion helps everyone.  Sympathy helps NO ONE.

 

A Victim Looks for Reasons, Not Causes

If I had a dime for every time I heard reasons why someone was a victim… oh Lordy I’d be a rich woman. Victims have minds that make up reasons, and they believe their own ridiculous reasons.  This is how we get pissed off fairies, evil aliens, judgmental Gods, Satan, curses, rituals to fix the curses, evil illuminati, and much more.  The victim is never the cause.  The reason is always someone or something else.  The reasoning enables them to project their emotional pain outside of them, and projection keeps people very stuck.  Most people are victims of their own projections.  If we look inward and find the real cause, the projected evil reasons disappear.

Victims often ask questions like, “Why did this happen to me?”  Their mind answers and gives them utter bullshit, and that utter bullshit has strong emotions attached to it.  They’ve already been psychologically reversed to believe that something that feels bad is true, so they believe their own lying mind.  They even think it’s God talking or some spirit guide or dead avatar.  The mind is like a tape recorder.  It simply repeats what was recorded earlier in their mind, in other’s minds, or the collective mind.

The True Self’s advice is always perfect for us.  We get to the True Self advice by letting go of the false advice until we get the perfect answer that feels calm, clear, and right.  It’s win-win for everyone.

 

The Victim Thinks Success Is Ego

When people are successful at something, it’s because they don’t have an ego, not because they do.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  Often they succeed with their True Self, and then the false self takes the credit in time.  But ego or false self is what keeps us from fulfilling or dropping our desires.  Thus religion and new age are filled with EGO while telling us they’re getting rid of it.  You can’t fix the false self, you can only let it go.  Most teachers today are either projecting their false self on their followers or floating above it.  They are clone minds, not True Selves.

When we’ve been judged for our success, we often start to resist the fulfillment of desires.  I made this mistake for years.  Not achieving desires felt better than the judgment I got for succeeding from my religious family and friends.  We must learn that what someone says in judgment feels bad because it’s false.  I eventually realized (after much letting go work) that they were just showing me their false self.

The entire Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is the Ego or false self — not just the evil part.  THIS IS KEY! Knowledge is getting truth or lies from the outside instead of from within us.  We learn good and evil from other people (authorities).  When we listen to anyone who says something that doesn’t harmonize with our True Self, we’re stuck in false self, eating from the wrong fucking tree.

 

Meekness

“The meek shall inherit the earth” doesn’t mean the poor will get God’s blessing.  I was terrified of this belief when I was stuck in the illusion.  Now it’s very clear.  It means when you let go of the competitive, fighting, win-lose, good-evil false self, you don’t have to fight with anyone anymore.  You get the whole earth without removing your ass from your chair — unless inspired to do so. 

So being a victim doesn’t make you meek and heaven bound.  It makes you false self bound in hell.  It makes you a pawn of the illusion, not God’s beloved child.  When you see that, you won’t want to be a victim anymore.  And when you no longer want your inner victim, you kick its royal ass out of your mind forever.

Letting Go Is NOT Hard

Don't believe other people

By Cathy Eck

 

Letting Go is So Hard!

I hear these words all the time, and they just aren’t true.  But there’s a good reason for the words.   People who are happy, successful, joyous, and healthy (True Self qualities) let go with ease.  They hear something that doesn’t feel right, and they don’t give it a second thought.  They do it so naturally that they can’t even explain what they do.  Things come easy to them because their minds aren’t filled with beliefs.  If we’re stuck in the illusion in victimhood, these people look lucky, like cheaters, or even evil.  But they often aren’t.  They just don’t have many beliefs.

We must let go of the belief: “Letting go is hard.”  Holding on to it makes it so.  As we let go, beliefs show up in our mind that are there only to keep us from letting go — like s security system.  This is one of them.  If we believe them, we’re stuck.

It probably took many generations of conditioning for people to believe that something that felt bad could be true.  I remember the first time my mother told me that candy was bad for me.  I sat for days pondering how something that tasted good could be bad.  It made no sense at all.  But I heard it from an authority, and I felt I must believe it; then I saw proof of it everywhere.  That’s how the illusion sucks us in — one belief at a time.

 

Mechanics of Discriminating

The false self is like a computer.  A computer has a big memory, and it’s logical.  But it can’t feel emotion.  The computer accepts everything it receives, even viruses (unless we write a virus protection program); and it stores that information until deleted by an operator or another program.  A computer’s discrimination occurs at the operator or programmer level.  Our True Self should be the operator of our false self computer mind.  Our false self is all masculine with no feminine; it follows memory and logic and ignores emotions.  It even has programs that cause us to ignore our True Self or disobey it.  Some minds are trained to believe that their True Self is evil.  

The false self has no “letting go” program installed.  It’s a hoarder and thinks it needs to save everything for future reference.  So I teach people how to write a program in their mind that programs the false mind to let go of itself.  (This is why I had to own a technology company earlier in my life.)  As we destroy the false programs, the True Self returns to power; then we don’t need the letting go program anymore so we drop it.  We go back to doing what comes naturally.  But this time, we understand the role of emotions.  

When someone says candy is bad, and their words don’t feel good, we ignore them.  They haven’t said anything about candy.  They’ve simply said, “I’m a computer repeating what I memorized in the illusion.  I think my knowledge is superior to your wisdom.  I’m only here to make your life as crappy as possible.”  Then we eat whatever we want safely.

 

Seeking

Often we realize we’ve gotten off track, and we start to seek answers.  We read books, do classes, and ask psychics for readings.  But were getting more information from outside of us.  Even if someone outside of us tells us the absolute truth, it can never become wisdom for us.  If our false self memorizes truth, it’s just more data in the computer.  We’ll repeat it to others pretty much as we’ve heard it.

As we let go, however, something different happens.  We see our OWN truth, and it resonates and harmonizes with what others who speak truthfully have said.  But it’s our unique point of view.  It’s then that we find our place in the world because we’re no longer a computer.

 

False Gods

If you listen to anyone else over your Self, you’ve made them your false God.  You won’t be able to let go until you remove your handler from your life and mind.  If people I mentor have put someone above them, it feels like the handler is trying to hold on to them.  They let go when talking to me, and then the handler comes back in and confuses them with their bullshit, fears, and threats.  Often the handler tells them I’m evil or hurting them.  They can’t see that letting go can’t hurt anyone.  We hurt people by giving them beliefs, not taking beliefs out.  But false power always claims that we’re hurting them when we take our power back.

If the person I’m supporting lets go of their handler, letting go gets much easier.  They’re no longer fighting a false God.  If we’ve given our mind and power to anyone, they won’t support us in letting go.  That doesn’t mean we have to let everyone go.  Just people who insist we follow them blindly.

If you’ve seen shows about people who break free of cults, you see the letting go process being acted out in the physical experience.  The cult leader tries all kinds of tricks to pull them back.  He tells them that the outsiders are evil.  He says they will go to hell, or they will be poor and homeless.  He tells them the cult makes them special and is the only way to heaven.  Other followers beg the person to stay.  But occasionally, some person manifests the balls to escape.

They break free.  They ditch their uniform, cut their hair, drink, and have sex; and holy shit, they don’t see Satan. They get jobs and pay their bills; and buy homes.  It was all a lie designed to keep them suck in the cult — the illusion.  Then they go back and tell the others, but no one believes them because their still stuck in the mind of the cult.  The free person looks evil to them.

 

 

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part III)

victim, perpetrator, hero in prison

By Cathy Eck

 

This post is a continuation of Part I and Part II.

 

The False Mind Can’t See the True Perpetrator

The master isn’t the slave’s enemy — although it looks that way within the illusion.  Religion and cultural beliefs are our real enemies because those beliefs pull us into the illusion, usually when we’re too young to discriminate.  Once we’re enslaved, there are no exits because the illusion isn’t a place; it’s a perspective.  We can’t exit the illusion with physical action.  Physical actions only change the illusion.  

When were enslaved, we’re trained to focus on action.  If we can’t think of an appropriate action, we see ourselves as victims of situations we believe are beyond control.  But there’s NO victim that can’t go mentally within, see the causal belief, and let it go — if only they knew how.  That’s the action that’s needed.  This information was hidden from the masses.  If it became popular, the illusion would die very quickly;  everyone would be free.

Slavery or bondage of any form is a mental trap that causes the physical trap.  If our mind has been brainwashed to follow false leaders (authority figures), we’ll feel compelled to follow them all.  If we’re taught that life is suffering, we won’t try to escape.  Why bother?  Better the suffering we know than the suffering we don’t.  If we think that our problems are karmic, we’ll accept them blindly.  Fear of God’s judgment is huge.  I found the belief in my false mind that if I obeyed others, I’d look innocent to the judging God.  If I obeyed my True Self, and I was wrong, I wouldn’t have anyone to blame.  WTF?  Blame is another trap.

Belief in cursing (Voodoo) was probably a major belief that enslaved African people.  The Puritan ethic (hard work as virtuous) keeps people stuck in dead end jobs working for billionaires.  Hitler and the Jews both BELIEVED they were chosen.  It’s not that simple of course.  But there’s always a strong common belief between the good and the evil.

 

The Mechanics

When I was in college, about ten big high school football players came into my dorm room one Saturday night when everyone else was out partying.  They shut the door and told me it was time for gang rape.  I stood up, sat their asses on my bed like a school teacher, and proceeded to lecture them.  Looking back, I stepped into the masculine role; and I won the war when I calmly said something like, “You’re gonna make your mamas cry.  Your mamas will be so ashamed of you boys when they put you in jail.”  It worked.  They got up and walked out.  

You see, I took away what they wanted.  They didn’t want sex; they wanted to remove their emotions (their inner feminine) that reminded them of their belief that they were powerless.  We hate our emotions if we fear they’ll never go away.  They would if we used them properly.

Those boys were trying to project their powerlessness on to me.  I didn’t accept their projection.  I gave it right back to them.  Without my acceptance of their projection; they went back to being powerless victims of whoever had victimized them.  I wasn’t the cause of their problem; and I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the effect of it.  And yet, I didn’t understand what really happened at that time.  After years of letting go of beliefs, I again remembered the experience, and it was now obvious why it worked.

 

The Excitement Trap

Perpetrator and victim both tend to follow their emotions, especially excitement, hope, romance.  They imagine false desires that will eliminate their emotions, pain, and suffering.  We label excitement a good emotion, but there’s no such thing.  Emotion always means that what we’re thinking right now is false — it’s not right for us — it’s not true.  It’s probably not even our own thought.   Victim and perpetrator both tend to follow excitement into addictions of sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, or food.  Often they are drawn to traditions, memorializing, and ceremony to keep their victimhood alive and kicking.

Since I didn’t yet feel responsible for other people’s emotions, the boys couldn’t project that on me.  In time, however, I’d lose my clarity thanks to the New Age movement, a husband who was a people pleaser and took pride in being responsible for making others happy, and a few zingers from my false mind that I didn’t see coming.

Ancient occult teachings said that emotion has attracting power.  That’s correct in the illusion.  Emotions are magnetic.  Sex, drugs, rituals, and even song and dance created an emotional high attracting whatever the occultists wanted, much like charismatic religions today.  But this is improper use of emotion.  The occult message was reborn with psychics, inspired speakers and preachers, and channels of the New Age; people believe these channels just like people believed the prophets in the Old Testament.  It seems that they want to share the truth, but don’t feel anyone will listen to them or fear punishment.  They declare a special purpose or calling.  They do speak mostly the truth, but when we hear the truth from another who’s fearful of being their True Self, it’s worthless knowledge.  Someone who fears being themselves, can’t help us be ourselves.

The illusion is like a battery; it needs recharging.  Old tricks are reused; and we falsely believe that history repeats itself.  In order to confuse us, this occult world was also often labeled initiation.  It produced powerful people who win in the illusion, but aren’t free of it.

True Initiation was a long process of bringing back the initiate’s discrimination by pushing them to let go of any thought that had “good” or “bad” emotional magnetism.  In time, the person had eyes to see and ears to hear.  They healed the curse of religion and were no longer a slave or victim.  They were called free, saved, or born again.

 

 

 

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part II)

Predators and prey

By Cathy Eck

 

For part I, click here.

 

Getting Unstuck

Unraveling victimhood requires understanding how we got stuck in it in the first place.  The intricacies of the illusion need to be exposed; but until recently, exposing the illusion meant a short life or lots of torture.  I faced those fears every day in the early stages of writing this blog.

The illusion lives on because we can’t see the cause of the problems in our lives.  We’re all victims of magical slight of mind.  We’re told to look outward to people who aren’t the true cause instead of inward to our beliefs because the illusion needs believers.  Remember the word belief contains the word “LIE” within it.

When we fix effects instead of the cause of anything, the problems keeps repeating.  A perpetrator shows up in our life as the effect of our own causal beliefs.  But I know, it doesn’t look that way when we’re in it.  The cause is never outside.  In addition, nothing is incurable; but we must find the causal belief.

Victim, perpetrator, and rescuer are all different forms of masculine and feminine roles playing off of each other.  In truth, there are no roles.  They’re all illusory.  We’re also trained to see the feminine role as powerless.  That training is very difficult to break.  Victim is generally a feminine role; however, some victims are actually perpetrators in disguise.  As people have become smarter, they’ve become better players of the illusion game.

When we’re free of beliefs, no one can trigger us — we remain calm and peaceful all the time.  If I say to you, “You’re an elephant.”  You’ll laugh.  You know you aren’t an elephant.  If I say, “You’re stupid.”  You might believe me.  Your mind will search for times you were stupid.  I’ve triggered your belief that you can be stupid.  If you let that belief go, you’ll not be bothered by my comment.  You’ll laugh because you know it’s false.  This is key; I’m only a perpetrator if you believe what I say.  Otherwise, I’m a comedian.

 

Enlightenment Defined

The difference between tragedy and drama is drama has less beliefs.  The difference between drama and comedy is comedy has less beliefs.  As we let go, we laugh more.  We become lighter; we enlighten.  When we have NO beliefs, we can’t be tricked or triggered by others.  We stay light.

We’re often shocked at the beliefs that arise in our mind as we witness our emotions.  We never consciously accepted most of these beliefs.  We suddenly realize how heavy our thinking is.

I often hear,  “I wasn’t raised in religion; yet I’m finding religious beliefs in my mind. How did they get in there?”  I was shocked by this too.  As I let go, I become aware of the person who gave me the belief.  The mystery does start to unravel.  Letting go causes us to break false-self connections with people who gave us beliefs.   Consequently, people fear they’ll lose someone if they let go of their shared beliefs.  Often they feel strong resistance from the other as they try to let go.  If we keep letting go, we’ll eventually have only a True Self connection with people — just unconditional love.

We got beliefs by being born to people who had them even if they didn’t talk about them.  Kids are telepathic until at least seven years of age.  We’ve sympathized with religious friends and family.  When we believe another’s problem, we also believe the causal belief that they can’t see.  We fear religious people who impose their beliefs on us.  If we fear something, we believe it.  Or we’ve had a teacher of truth or followed inspirational speakers who float above their beliefs.  Remember, if we’re going to someone for the truth, we believe we don’t have it.  So we make a great projection screen for someone who believes they have the truth, when they don’t.

 

Shared Beliefs

We all have perpetrator-victim within us until we let both roles go.  The master and the slave both believe in slavery.  The slave has an inner master and the master an inner slave.  The criminal and policemen both believe in crime.  Neither can play their role without the other.  They’re like conjoined twins.  They’re both victims of the illusion playing false roles.  That’s why criminals often plead temporary insanity.  They don’t know how they got into the role; but once they did, they played the it like they were going for an OSCAR.

Because of the way we hold masculine and feminine roles in mind, it appears that the slave is stuck in the master’s illusion.  We forget that the master needs the slaves or his desire is thwarted.  The policeman needs criminals.  Doctors need patients.

This is difficult to understand because of our perceptual training.  We’re taught to see doctors as good; they’re serving.  (See comic book truth for more.)  If we drop all belief in disease, we don’t need doctors.  They move from rescuer to perpetrator.

Soldier is a completely illusory feminine role (obedience and sacrifice), yet people sign up to kill because it’s reframed as service and heroism.  Our desire to be seen as good or worthy gets us in victim roles.  The trick wouldn’t work if we let go of the beliefs that say we aren’t good or worthy.

We must ask ourselves, “Why do I feel compelled to play this role?”  The answers we get will all be false; they’re our causal beliefs.  Another good question is, “What is the perpetrator thinking about me?”  Again, whatever answers arise are beliefs, let them go.  You can’t let go of the truth, and our mind is 99.99% bullshit.  So always err on the side of letting go.

Once we strengthen our True Self (our true savior) and weaken our own false self (which has both victim, rescuer, and perpetrator), we can no longer be cast into these illusory roles — we can’t be a victim anymore.

To be continued…

 

 

No Longer a Victim: Escaping Victimhood Forever (Part I)

Fish in a Bowl -- victim

By Cathy Eck

 

The hardest thing for people to let go is victimhood.  Victims appear stuck in feminine roles.  Victims always look outward for perpetrators instead of inward to the real cause.  When I convince a victim to let go of the cause within their own mind, their outer perpetrator loses power.  The perpetrator had power because they believed the perpetrator’s beliefs.

 

Reality

We all begin life in a feminine role.  We lack authority and power.  A baby requires someone in a masculine role to care for them.  Consequently, we all associate the feminine role with the powerlessness of childhood.  Our bodies mature, but our minds revert to childhood whenever we’re cast into feminine roles.  We believe we’re powerless — unable to get what we need or want.  We blame the person we think should fulfill our desire, instead of the person who gave us our beliefs.  The illusion survives by making sure victims don’t find or blame the true cause of their victimhood.  In fact, the victim usually  thinks their perpetrator is good or God.

Victims accept false feminine roles in order to look good by flawed standards.   The president declares war on his own enemies and enjoys drinking Dom Perignon while martyrs fight his battles because they believe sacrifice is good.  Billionaires can hire underpaid slaves to do their work because slaves believe hard work is virtuous.  Clergy pass the donation basket and minions drop their last dollar for words that aren’t worth two cents because they believe the Bible is the word of God.  Victims keep illusory machines running; they’re like moths to a flame.  They’re taught that good people sacrifice, work hard, and give when they have nothing to give.  They’re so blindly obedient that they can’t see the flame that’s burning them alive.

 

Win-Lose

I began to question the way life works when I worked for one of the biggest consulting firms in the world in my twenties.  If you’ve seen the movie, “The Wolf of Wall Street,” it’s no exaggeration.  I saw all of that and more.  The wolves see life as a win-lose game; they’re simply good players.  In their mind, if you suck at the game of life, it isn’t their fault.  They view victims as poor losers who give up too easily.  Wolves lie because it works.  They hire cheap labor because people take the jobs. 

During this same time period, I married into a nice Italian Catholic family of sheep.  I lived the life of working and partying all week with the wolves; then I’d visit family and eat communion wafers, hear the same old shit stories over and over again, and watch the same boring rituals and traditions.  They saw life through a lens of good and evil.  They were good and moral.  They saw the wolves I worked for as evil and immoral.   

couldn’t reconcile these two sides of my life.  I didn’t want either.   The wolves partied too much and were never satisfied.   They thought money would buy them freedom and joy, and it never did.  I wanted to be good, but I didn’t want the boredom, misery, and victimhood of sheep.  Clearly, neither had the truth.

 

The Key

Wolves simply do what works in the win-lose illusion.  The wolves respected me because I’d call them on their game — they couldn’t trick me.  Wolves don’t feel immoral anymore than an athlete feels immoral when they win.  They don’t create sheep.  They simply give sheep what they’re asking for — a perpetrator.  

On the other hand, sheep work hard to create more sheep by imposing their beliefs on others, especially children.  They tell others that they’re bad when they’re being their True Self or when they succeed.  They cause people to doubt and ignore their emotions.  They demand blind obedience and won’t answer why questions.  Sheep have power tools — guilt, shame, blame, and fear.  

Sheep told me that I needed to learn to be happy while I suffered.  I couldn’t do that.  Once I got truly happy, the problem causing the suffering vanished.  They were clearly doing something unnatural and making it right, but they said I was a failure at suffering.  WTF?  Their perspective is like Pin the Tail on the Donkey.  They blindfold you, spin you around until you’re dizzy, and then wonder why you can’t find the donkey’s ass.  They eventually break your spirit.  Only then will they say you’re good.  

 

Win-Win

I left the wolves’ den to start my own business, and I found my sweet spot.  If I dealt in win-win terms and worked on my own mind instead of using my will and tricking and manipulating the sheep, I could achieve success without harming others.  I didn’t need to be a wolf.  I shared this with my fellow wolves, and they all joined me.  They were only tricking sheep because they thought they had to.

The positive thinking and new thought movements were attempts by ex-wolves to enlighten sheep.  They revealed the rules of the win-lose game to make things fair.  They put out books like “Think and Grow Rich.”  But giving the sheep the rules of the win-lose game didn’t change anything.  Sheep are stuck in the good and evil game.  They don’t want wolves to go away, they need someone to view as evil.  So many of the wolves said, “Fuck you.  You want wolf.  I’ll show you fucking wolf.”

The wolves had extended the olive branch.  They proved that sheep aren’t victims of wolves in wolves clothing  — we’re born with emotional lie detector systems.  The sheep are victims of wolves in sheep’s clothing — religious and spiritual wolves masked as sheep (masculine roles behaving as if they’re feminine) who teach sheep to turn off their emotional lie detection, blindly obey authority, and ignore their True Self.   Without this psychological reversal, wolves would be powerless.   Sadly, sheep follow shepherds who feed them to the wolves, and the sheep glorify the shepherds for doing it.  .

To be continued…